How do I stop asking the question, " Why was he taken?"

Softbreeze

Newbie
Oct 18, 2011
63
6
✟7,728.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
I know that only Gods knows why my husband was taken but after two years that question is still there. Everyone always say "it's Gods decision and only God knows". I know that but my mind has not excepted that answer. I have tried to just live with that answer but I am still finding it hard to do that. There were so many beautiful people out there that have died. They all have left a stamp on our lives. We may have lost a love one but our communities have lost our love ones also. Look how much our love ones have done for others and are remembered by others. Then you have the other people who cares nothing about human life and they live for a long time and have done terrible things. My question for you is did you stop asking that question? How are you dealing with it or If you dealt with it, what happened?
 
  • Like
Reactions: LaSorcia

1watchman

Overseer
Supporter
Oct 9, 2010
6,039
1,226
Washington State
✟358,358.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I certainly do not ask that question, for I leave all that to God who cares and does all things well for sure. There is a time to be born and a time to die, God says (Eccl. 3) so I will understand more when I get home to Heaven. Because of sin in the world bodies have trouble and some fail earlier than others; and there is violence and accidents to account for death too. God never makes a mistake, and when we fully appreciate that we will go on in peace. There are lessons to be learned, and the most important one is to trust God and lean upon Him.
 
Upvote 0

blackribbon

Not a newbie
Dec 18, 2011
13,388
6,674
✟190,401.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
We all will die, the only question is "when". I don't know why some have to die sooner than others but Jesus was only 33 when he died.

I actually look at death as "graduation day", and the question that bothered me more was "why did I have to be left behind?" I now have some insight into that but don't expect to get the full answer until I get to go too.
 
Upvote 0

Softbreeze

Newbie
Oct 18, 2011
63
6
✟7,728.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Hi blackribbon, Thats an interesting way to look at it. We are so worry about this life and forget what God holds for us. Thank you for your insight. Its some times hard to see it from Gods perspective. Its just we want to hold dear to us our love ones. I actually forgot Jesus was in his 30's. There is a bigger picture and I have forgotten that there is more to life then this one we are in.
Thanks
 
Upvote 0

pdudgeon

Traditional Catholic
Supporter
In Memory Of
Aug 4, 2005
37,777
12,353
South East Virginia, US
✟493,233.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Widowed
Politics
US-Republican
one answer that i have heard in response to that question ( and it's one that is often asked) is that we may not know why God takes someone when He does, but we can rest assured that His timing (in the grand scheme of things ) is perfect.
often times it turns out that what lies ahead in this world is something that we would be glad that our loved ones don't have the knowledge of, or that they would have had to live through.

For my own part, though my husband's last illness came sooner than either of us had thought, I can see that the journey through that time was micro managed by God in so many compassionate ways for both our sakes.

People were there when we needed them, and both help and compassion was shown to both of us. Though our journey was not without it's challenges, and satan was active against us during the whole of it, and wishing to destroy both of us, God was always there to support and enlighten us and show us in scripture where others had gone before us and endured in their faith to the end.
When David in the Psalms spoke about a Valley of the Shadow of Death, he wasn't kidding.

From my perspective, I can only say that I think God finally took my husband through that valley at a time when he was spiritually strong enough in his belief to make it into heaven with the aid of the right hand of Jesus reaching out to him.

I believe that my husband died in triumph over satan, and that he was at peace with God to his last breath. :amen:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

If Not For Grace

Legend-but then so's Keith Richards
Feb 4, 2005
28,116
2,268
Curtis Loew's House w/Kid Rock & Hank III
Visit site
✟46,998.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
We all expire. No one is ever taken per se. There are accidents, murders, diseases, birth/weather conditions. Various circumstances affect us all. If God healed all those whose loved ones prayed for healing--few would ever die. God does not do "time" that is a man measured creation. There are actions and consequences. There really is no death, just a change of worlds for our souls.

Grief is the appropriate response to loss, and such questions can be part of the process, but there is no answer that could be given that would satisfy you as long as you are hurting. Your grief is a testimony to your love, I found I had to be pro active in my healing and I do that by focusing on the beauty in this world and the rest of my own journey.

The love my soulmate and I shared is a loving example to our children and their children and to our friends. I take comfort in knowing that every how brief I was blessed (for 16 yrs) to have had such a love in my life. Every day I have is a gift and I must make an effort to make the most of it-there is still much I would like to see and do, before it's my turn to go.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Donnessa
Upvote 0

yesyoushould

Member
Jan 14, 2015
899
70
✟1,398.00
Faith
Christian
I know that only Gods knows why my husband was taken but after two years that question is still there. Everyone always say "it's Gods decision and only God knows". I know that but my mind has not excepted that answer. I have tried to just live with that answer but I am still finding it hard to do that. There were so many beautiful people out there that have died. They all have left a stamp on our lives. We may have lost a love one but our communities have lost our love ones also. Look how much our love ones have done for others and are remembered by others. Then you have the other people who cares nothing about human life and they live for a long time and have done terrible things. My question for you is did you stop asking that question? How are you dealing with it or If you dealt with it, what happened?

All of Gods children are protected. :)
 
Upvote 0

JS267

New Member
May 16, 2015
3
1
✟15,133.00
Faith
Protestant
Marital Status
As most of you said only God knows the reason... But to live in this world in his absense and specially taking care of kids who loves dad more than me is really really difficult...

Me just 1 month before I lost my husband....

When I think of him, I look into the window and see the sky and imagine Jesus coming with angels and saints, I can see my hubby coming with them...
 
Upvote 0

Catherineanne

Well-Known Member
Sep 1, 2004
22,924
4,645
Europe
✟76,860.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Widowed
Charles Dickens said that if we could see where our loved ones are now, we would not wish them back with us.
 

Attachments

  • WP_20150518_21_11_16_Pro.jpg
    WP_20150518_21_11_16_Pro.jpg
    179.2 KB · Views: 44
  • Like
Reactions: JS267
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Johnnz

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Aug 3, 2004
14,082
1,002
82
New Zealand
✟74,521.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
There are some things we just aren't told about and just don't know. We live in a fallen world.
Jesus stated as much when He said referring to some who were killed when a tower at Siloam fell down:
Luke 13:2-3 Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way?
NIV
Or the Psalmist who also had such questions:
Ps 82:2 How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked? NIV

Or the prophet:
Jer 12:1-3 You are always righteous, O Lord,when I bring a case before you.Yet I would speak with you about your justice:Why does the way of the wicked prosper?Why do all the faithless live at ease? 2 You have planted them, and they have taken root;they grow and bear fruit.You are always on their lips but far from their hearts. 3 Yet you know me, O Lord;you see me and test my thoughts about you. NIV

John
NZ
 
  • Like
Reactions: JS267
Upvote 0

TheBarrd

Teller of tales, writer of poems, singer of songs
Mar 1, 2015
4,953
1,746
Following a Jewish Carpenter
✟14,094.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
There are some things we just aren't told about and just don't know. We live in a fallen world.
Jesus stated as much when He said referring to some who were killed when a tower at Siloam fell down:
Luke 13:2-3 Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way?
NIV
Or the Psalmist who also had such questions:
Ps 82:2 How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked? NIV

Or the prophet:
Jer 12:1-3 You are always righteous, O Lord,when I bring a case before you.Yet I would speak with you about your justice:Why does the way of the wicked prosper?Why do all the faithless live at ease? 2 You have planted them, and they have taken root;they grow and bear fruit.You are always on their lips but far from their hearts. 3 Yet you know me, O Lord;you see me and test my thoughts about you. NIV

John
NZ
He was taken from us in '87 on the way home from working late by a drunk driver. I was 37...and left to raise our brood of seven by myself. We had no insurance, and my basic skills involved making a home for my family. I didn't even have a driver's license...not that it would have done me any good, the car was totaled.

I still sometimes catch myself watching for headlights that will never turn into my driveway again...
I miss him so much.
 
Upvote 0

NOTWHATIWAS

I take my stage direction from God.
Jun 27, 2016
680
701
63
Oregon, USA
✟20,309.00
Faith
Calvary Chapel
Marital Status
Single
I'd like to recommend a good movie to anyone who has lost a spouse- "Shadowlands" with Debra Winger and Anthony Hopkins. It's about Joy Gresham, her battle w/ cancer and her marriage to C.S. Lewis. It has blessed me.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Catherineanne

Well-Known Member
Sep 1, 2004
22,924
4,645
Europe
✟76,860.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Widowed
I'd like to recommend a good movie to anyone who has lost a spouse- "Shadowlands" with Debra Winger and Anthony Hopkins. It's about Joy Gresham, her battle w/ cancer and her marriage to C.S. Lewis. It has blessed me.

Thank you for the recommendation; I have just ordered that film.

My h died in 2011. My dad died in January and now my mum is very unwell, although it is impossible to know how long she might have; days, weeks, months; nobody knows. I try to think in terms of lives completed rather than ended, but it is still very difficult.

None of this is easy to cope with, but I think of the younger generation; we have to show them how to live, so that they can live when our turn comes, as it certainly will one day.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Rom10:9
Upvote 0