How do I keep my temper during an argument?

[Jacob Black]

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

 

[crossnote]

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

It’s similar to the tongue...


James 3:8 NKJV
[8] But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

We can’t, it takes a work of God, look to Him.

 

[charsan]

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

Good question. These days I find my temper shorter than ever.

 

[Michie]

Sounds like you need to seek professional help.

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I have similar reactions. I try to avoid arguments because of it. I'm pretty reserved here, considering the potential for going ballistic on some subjects.

 

[Michie]

When violence can spring from anger, that’s dangerous and it is time to seek out professional help.

 

[splish- splash]

Next time when you start to feel like that, just completely change the subject. & It should help you a great deal.

 

[royal priest]

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

Perhaps the most important thing to realize about sin is that it begins in the heart. Jesus said that it you call someone a fool in your heart, then you are already guilty of having committed the sin of murder.
So what really needs to happen is we need to keep a guard over our thoughts. If we control our thoughts then we can control our tongue.
Moreover, in order to keep from murderous thoughts we need to control our emotions and passions.
This is a more difficult task but not impossible. We get better at it with practice.
The secret to controlling our emotions and our thoughts is having communion with God.
When we meditate on his word we will see the need to trust him for everything that happens. And when we pray to him we will be exercising our dependence on him. Reading his word and praying to him need to be a constant habit.
The reason we get so upset and aggravated is because we are not getting what we want.
But when we are habitual in reading the Bible and prayer we will learn what God wants and we will want what God wants.
At that point it will not matter what happens to us or what people say and do to us. Glorifying God will be much more important to us than glorifying ourselves.

 

[Sketcher]

1) I get angry when I don't get what I want. When I lash out, I sacrifice my rational mind and get less of what I want. Consider now what the fallout would have been if you had let your anger take you all the way. What would have happened to him, and to you? What would your relationship with him have been like afterwards? What would your relationship with the rest of your family had been like? Could you have been arrested and charged? If convicted, what would prison be like for you? How would you be able to get a respectable job after prison, with an assault conviction on your record? (A friend of mine has a criminal conviction from before he was saved - it is NOT easy for him to get new jobs.)

2) The first person to lose their temper in an argument loses that argument. Losing your temper and even resorting to violence in that situation is a public display of weakness. If you're that smart, if you're that correct, you don't need to lose your temper and throw a fit. You'd remain in control of the situation, which you can't do without controlling yourself. Losing your temper and resorting to violence is retreating from the arena of reason and relying on the opposite of reason (which has nothing to do with what most people argue about anyway - whether or not you can hit someone has nothing to do with proving your original point, unless you were arguing over whether or not you can hit him, or over how hard you can hit him). It cedes all of the ground in the argument to him, and seeks to punish him by a completely irrelevant means. Hence, it's a loser's tactic. Don't act like a loser, and you won't tell the world your weaknesses, and they'll have less, if any reason to believe that you are a loser.

 

[bèlla]

If you are conscious of all you said. Why do you continue to engage? End the discussion and walk away. You are responsible for your behavior. If maintaining your temper is a problem, stop entertaining discussions that fuel it.

And count the cost of your outbursts. You may lose connections or find yourself in legal trouble if a fight occurs. Your history will work against you.

~Bella

 

[OldWiseGuy]

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought of as someone who has all their teeth, than to open it and risk greatly enriching your dentist." -OldWiseGuy

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Some here are good at pushing buttons that bring this out in others. I have, regrettably, had to place several here on "ignore" because of their tendency to do this.

 

[eleos1954]

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

pause and think before you speak ... if you are becoming irritated and/or angry in your mind ... then walk away and don't speak until your mind relaxes.

 

[charsan]

When Your Anger Gets the Best of You:
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/when-your-anger-gets-the-best-of-you/

Found another, hope these help

https://seattlechristiancounseling.com/articles/6-ways-to-deal-with-anger-in-christian-perspective

 

[Hopeful37]

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

I usually say nothing and step away from the scene. Sometimes I feel like a loser because I wanna tell that person where and how to get off. There have been times I have and felt even worse than if I said nothing. There have been times I said nothing and felt like a doormat. I prefer the latter. I can take my sorry self to God and let Him deal with that anger. As much as venting is helpful, usually u just look like the bigger butt when u do stand up for yourself and look twice as wrong.

 

[Michie]

The problem is violence here. I cannot emphasize it enough.

 

[public hermit]

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

Often there is a root issue that needs to addressed. Anger, as best as I can tell, is a secondary emotion. There's usually something behind it, driving it. I hate to say this, but often that primary cause is fear, or various kinds of fear. Examples of the kinds of fear that might drive anger are fear of physical harm, fear of being humiliated, fear of financial insecurity, etc. There may be other causes, but the point being if you really want to deal with anger, find the primary cause and begin to address that. Sometimes a desire to control is what causes an outburst. But that too can be traced back to some kind fear, I bet.

 

[Oseas]

I have a really short temper, and I find it very important to keep it because I know it's a horrible sin when I burst out in wrath. Another reason why I don't want to lose my temper is because I can get really - I mean really - violent once someone or something goes over my tipping point.

I'm asking this question because I got into an argument this evening with a relative of mine and it kept going on about how my opinion was inferior to that of my relative. I tried to keep my anger at bay but I eventually came at a point in which I actually wanted to physically attack my relative.

Fortunately the argument stopped before it came that far but I wanted to ask for some advice on how I can avoid such tipping points in future arguments or fights.

Dont scare people, this world is already scary. Oh yes,"this world is already scary", for the prophetic message of JESUS leaves clear that as was in the days of Lot, even thus shall it be in His coming. Now, the days of Lot were very very terrible, Sodom, and Gomorrah, and the neighbouring cities were full of violence, as is revealed in Genesis 13:v.12-13:
12 Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom. 13 But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the Lord exceedingly.

Again: The LORD said: "As it was in the days of Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah, thus will be in His coming"; So, by analogy, the time of JESUS's return isxactly like the time of Lot after the intercession of Abraham for the righteous* of the city of Sodom, as follows:
Genesis 19:v.4&6-7&9-11
4 - ... the men of Sodom, compassed the Lot's house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:
6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door behind himself
7 And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.
9 And they said, Stand back...now will we deal worse with thee, than with them. And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and came near to break the door.
10 But the men put forth their hand, and pulled Lot into the house to them, and SHUT the door.
11 And they smote the men that were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great: so that they wearied themselves to find the door.
12 And the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place:
13 For we will DESTROY this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the Lord; and the Lord hath sent us to DESTROY it. ----> OH yeah, as it was in the days of Lot, it will be now, even now, in the days ahead, day after day, in the whole earth, the world of Devil with all its structures of all kind, it will be destroyed entirely.
Revelation 11:v.18-
18 And the nations will be angry, and God's wrath comes, and the time of the dead, that they should be Judged, and that God gives reward unto His servants the prophets, and to the saints, and them that fear HIS name, small and great; and to DESTROY them which destroy the earth.

I hope everyone is prepared

 

[Oseas]

The problem is violence here. I cannot emphasize it enough.

You are right. The days are evil, as it was in Sodom and Gomorrah. The men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the Lord exceedingly. Then... Genesis 19:v.12-13 - ... Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place:
13 For we will DESTROY this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the Lord; and the Lord hath sent us to DESTROY it.

The archangel Michael was in Sodom, and now God has sent him again to judge and make war against the Devil and his devilish world. Revelation 12:v.7 combined with Daniel 12:v.1-3.

 

[Oseas]