Lanae

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Every time I don't hang out with others that much, they just ignore me, block me every where on Social media and ignore my messages social media, phone calls and text messages after they leave the church and all because I never spend time with them.

I don't know what topic to talk about with them and idk what to do with them. They never invite me to Socialize with them. They all live in Raleigh and I live in Cary. I never get a chance to hang out with them because they're busy with school and work. I can pet sit their pets when I transfer to NCSU in fall 2019.

i can take my papers with opened-ended questions on it and ask them open-ended questions to get to know more about them. Some times when I don't the papers with open-ended questions on it, I don't know what to ask them about them like their dislikes, likes, hobbies and favorite things. So I don't have a car to do stuff with them. I have some money in my account. When I transfer to NCSU, i might be able to hang out with them when they're free. I hate being by myself. I'm a Extrovert and I should be hanging out with large group of people every two weeks or so.

some of them just tell me not to talk to them, ignore me and be rude to me out of nowhere when I didn't do anything to them.

how do I get closer to them? How do I get them to invite me to hang out with them? how do I get them to stop treating me negatively? how do I get them to stop being so rude to me?
 

rockytopva

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I believe in the seven churches as ages...

Ephesus - Messianic - Beginning with the Apostle to the Circumcision, Peter
Smyrna - Martyr - Beginning with the Apostle to the Un-Circumcision, Paul
Pergamos - Orthodoxy formed in this time... Pergos is a tower... Needed in the dark ages
Thyatira - Catholicism formed in this time - The spirit of Jezebel is to control and to dominate.
Sardis - Protestantism formed in this time- A sardius is a gem - elegant yet hard and rigid
Philadelphia - Wesleyism formed in this time - To be sanctioned is to acquire it with love.
Laodicea - Charismatic movement formed in this time - Beginning with DL Moody, the first to make money off of ministry

In Philadelphian times there were lots of revivals, and as Philadelphia means brotherly love, lots of time for people. In these Laodicean times people are more inclined to get married and get absorbed in their own little world. Me, us three, and no more if you will. This is a sad reality and I am sorry for it.
 
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Halbhh

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Every time I don't hang out with others that much, they just ignore me, block me every where on Social media and ignore my messages social media, phone calls and text messages after they leave the church and all because I never spend time with them.

I don't know what topic to talk about with them and idk what to do with them. They never invite me to Socialize with them. They all live in Raleigh and I live in Cary. I never get a chance to hang out with them because they're busy with school and work. I can pet sit their pets when I transfer to NCSU in fall 2019.

i can take my papers with opened-ended questions on it and ask them open-ended questions to get to know more about them. Some times when I don't the papers with open-ended questions on it, I don't know what to ask them about them like their dislikes, likes, hobbies and favorite things. So I don't have a car to do stuff with them. I have some money in my account. When I transfer to NCSU, i might be able to hang out with them when they're free. I hate being by myself. I'm a Extrovert and I should be hanging out with large group of people every two weeks or so.

some of them just tell me not to talk to them, ignore me and be rude to me out of nowhere when I didn't do anything to them.

how do I get closer to them? How do I get them to invite me to hang out with them? how do I get them to stop treating me negatively? how do I get them to stop being so rude to me?

I'm sorry that happened! It's good to know that Christ said only these are His followers -- "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” -- so that if they know for sure that you believe in Christ, then they are obligated to love you as a sister in Christ, even more than as a neighbor in some ways, more proactively, that is, even going out of their way to especially include you. I point this out so that you will know that you can and should expect this in a church with people that are His, because it could be you have to search for a church to find that has more that follow Him, possibly.

And....you yourself will also have to do this too, of course. It's equally your own duty, just like it is their's. It's just as much up to you to go out of your way to include other people, and accept them. Open ended questions are a good way to talk with people, and you don't have to only use certain ones, but almost any that are not too far out or too challenging, but I think usually ones that you yourself like and feel are interesting, and I like to include a bit of my own view as giving just like I expect to get, to help, like for me (being a guy and liking to think about meanings a lot), my own kind of favorite question is something like: "Wow, I really liked that part in today's sermon about _______ (e.g., forgiving others, keeping oil in our lamps, etc.). What did you notice? What was interesting to you?" and then be really, honestly, truly open and happy to hear whatever their view is without being picky about what they say, even perfectly happy to hear them complain it was not interesting, for instance, and so they really get it that's it's fine to say just what they think/feel. In other words, to be a good friend in order to get a good friend.
 
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Kit Sigmon

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Every time I don't hang out with others that much, they just ignore me, block me every where on Social media and ignore my messages social media, phone calls and text messages after they leave the church and all because I never spend time with them.

I don't know what topic to talk about with them and idk what to do with them. They never invite me to Socialize with them. They all live in Raleigh and I live in Cary. I never get a chance to hang out with them because they're busy with school and work. I can pet sit their pets when I transfer to NCSU in fall 2019.

i can take my papers with opened-ended questions on it and ask them open-ended questions to get to know more about them. Some times when I don't the papers with open-ended questions on it, I don't know what to ask them about them like their dislikes, likes, hobbies and favorite things. So I don't have a car to do stuff with them. I have some money in my account. When I transfer to NCSU, i might be able to hang out with them when they're free. I hate being by myself. I'm a Extrovert and I should be hanging out with large group of people every two weeks or so.

If you lack communication skills... Check out some books at the library on building relationship/friendships and communicating...have the librarian to help you to find those type of books.


some of them just tell me not to talk to them, ignore me and be rude to me out of nowhere when I didn't do anything to them.

how do I get closer to them? How do I get them to invite me to hang out with them? how do I get them to stop treating me negatively? how do I get them to stop being so rude to me?

From my own experience...if you don't have your own mode of transportation,
very few invest in a friendship with someone who doesn't have transportation,
cause they don't want to feel obligated to take you some where.

I can also say I did manage to find a few who'd trade...like, I'd babysit, do housecleaning, caregiving etc for them in exchange for rides to places I needed
to go.

Real friendships take time, effort/investment, forgiveness and a lot of prayer...many of us only have associates, not actual friends...I had a LOT of associates when I was your age.






 
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JIMINZ

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Every time I don't hang out with others that much, they just ignore me, block me every where on Social media and ignore my messages social media, phone calls and text messages after they leave the church and all because I never spend time with them.

I don't know what topic to talk about with them and idk what to do with them. They never invite me to Socialize with them. They all live in Raleigh and I live in Cary. I never get a chance to hang out with them because they're busy with school and work. I can pet sit their pets when I transfer to NCSU in fall 2019.

i can take my papers with opened-ended questions on it and ask them open-ended questions to get to know more about them. Some times when I don't the papers with open-ended questions on it, I don't know what to ask them about them like their dislikes, likes, hobbies and favorite things. So I don't have a car to do stuff with them. I have some money in my account. When I transfer to NCSU, i might be able to hang out with them when they're free. I hate being by myself. I'm a Extrovert and I should be hanging out with large group of people every two weeks or so.

some of them just tell me not to talk to them, ignore me and be rude to me out of nowhere when I didn't do anything to them.

how do I get closer to them? How do I get them to invite me to hang out with them? how do I get them to stop treating me negatively? how do I get them to stop being so rude to me?
.
They are not Christians, and they especially are not your friends.
Don't keep pursuing them.
 
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FanthatSpark

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People pleaser? Who taught you this? When this is activated in you Galatians 5:22-23 , one becomes a magnet "to" people. Hope a word of life edifies that one must go introvert through God, prayer and word to the very id of the mind and allow God to teach you on you. Worries of people will melt away as you please no one but God. However, people will notice the joy in you and want it too, :amen:. There is mystery herein the young usually miss ^_^ due to no life experiences to base it on. The deepness of life awaits... :hug:
 
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limerick

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I'm sorry that you're feeling this way

Here are some thoughts that I hope would be of help to you

There is a difference between someone who goes to church, and a Christian. Just because someone goes to church doesn't make them a Christian

Some people who go to church may be there for their own selfish reasons, but certainly aren't there for fellowship

Hebrews 10:25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another

When we attend church, we should be trying to get to know each other. If the people you have been talking to are ignoring you, then they may not be the sort of people you to be with

2 Timothy 2:22 pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord

Try to look for fellowship at your church with people who exhibit traits that are Christian values such as kindness. Many churches provide fellowships such as Bible studies where you may be able to meet such people there
 
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Lanae

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What were you blocked on social media for?

idk. They just unfriend me and block me without saying anything to me. I try to be nice and ask them why they do that and they didnt say anything. One of them said they don't why they do that. some of them said I messaged them too much and kept calling them on fb messenger. they never reply to my messages.
 
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All4Christ

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idk. They just unfriend me and block me without saying anything to me. I try to be nice and ask them why they do that and they didnt say anything. One of them said they don't why they do that. some of them said I messaged them too much and kept calling them on fb messenger. they never reply to my messages.
Another perspective- I sometimes avoid getting lots of messages on Facebook, especially Facebook messenger, since it interferes with work a lot. There are a few people who send me messages asking me to forward posts, etc. I tend to avoid those messages. Some people just don’t like to get messages like that in general, not just because of any specific person. I appreciate it when my friends only send occasional messages rather than frequent messages, especially since it can interrupt work with notifications. I can’t say for sure though as I don’t know your friends, and I don't know how often you message them. If you ask for their email address and they give it to you (only if they give it to you, not from finding it on the internet)- that might be a better way to do that since they can answer when they have time. Also, unless they have responded, I limit how many emails I send...at least no more than once a week unless we are having a conversation together via email.
 
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Christie insb

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idk. They just unfriend me and block me without saying anything to me. I try to be nice and ask them why they do that and they didnt say anything. One of them said they don't why they do that. some of them said I messaged them too much and kept calling them on fb messenger. they never reply to my messages.
I hope this isn't a rude question, but have you had trouble making friends in the past? Being friends is more than asking questions off a list. Maybe you could find someone who seems more understanding than the others and really talk to them about how lonely you are feeling and how people aren't reciprocating with you. You may need to have a rule about how often you can contact people. If they are busy it may be overwhelming if you try to reach them more often than they have time for. And if I misunderstood your situation, please forgive me.
 
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Lanae

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I hope this isn't a rude question, but have you had trouble making friends in the past? Being friends is more than asking questions off a list. Maybe you could find someone who seems more understanding than the others and really talk to them about how lonely you are feeling and how people aren't reciprocating with you. You may need to have a rule about how often you can contact people. If they are busy it may be overwhelming if you try to reach them more often than they have time for. And if I misunderstood your situation, please forgive me.

i forgive you. you can look at my post. My Lame Childhood | Christian Forums and leave a comment
 
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Lanae

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Another perspective- I sometimes avoid getting lots of messages on Facebook, especially Facebook messenger, since it interferes with work a lot. There are a few people who send me messages asking me to forward posts, etc. I tend to avoid those messages. Some people just don’t like to get messages like that in general, not just because of any specific person. I appreciate it when my friends only send occasional messages rather than frequent messages, especially since it can interrupt work with notifications. I can’t say for sure though as I don’t know your friends, and I don't know how often you message them. If you ask for their email address and they give it to you (only if they give it to you, not from finding it on the internet)- that might be a better way to do that since they can answer when they have time. Also, unless they have responded, I limit how many emails I send...at least no more than once a week unless we are having a conversation together via email.

maybe Im being aggressive?
 
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All4Christ

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maybe Im being aggressive?
I honestly don’t know for sure. How often do you contact them? Have they responded before you contact them again?
 
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Lanae

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I honestly don’t know for sure. How often do you contact them? Have they responded before you contact them again?

I message them once or twice a month but some never reply. I'm just trying to be nice to them. it's so annoying when they're not replying to my messages.
 
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Gottservant

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Since having asked the Holy Spirit to help, the thing I am more certain of is that we are not brothers to more than we can serve.

It may sound harsh but serving in word but not in deed, actually limits how close you can be to the Holy Spirit.

Not that you don't have eternity to do it ('something') in, but as Jesus said "one day you're going to know why I wash feet" - this is something He does to be close to His bride, not something He says.

-

I still feel this is a difficult thing, I will get back to you if I hear more.
 
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