How do I forgive when the person (or persons) aren't willing to repent?

[LoyalToGod]

I'm really depressed because a couple weeks ago, I lost my temper because a certain group of people took the side of an insulting jerk who told me to "get over it" after I was going through a personal crisis, plus an admin took the jerk's side. I'm still shaking from it and I want to make amends, but should I forgive them or give them the bird? Thank you all for being wonderful

 

[paul1149]

I don't think you'll find Scriptural warrant for giving them the bird. You will for forgiveness, though, but take careful note, forgiveness is not the same as trust and reconciliation.

 

[LoyalToGod]

I don't think you'll find Scriptural warrant for giving them the bird. You will for forgiveness, though, but take careful note, forgiveness is not the same as trust and reconciliation.

Thank you, Paul. I'm still reeling from the hurt because I thought they were my friends, but I was W-R-O-N-G

 

[paul1149]

Thank you, Paul. I'm still reeling from the hurt because I thought they were my friends, but I was W-R-O-N-G

The only cure I know for that, dear sister, is to forgive in order to cleanse the heart, and to draw near and spend time in the presence of the Lord. Let His holy balm soothe and eventually heal that wound. Also remember His promise, to work everything for the good. It might also help to read the letter of 1 Peter.

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. -1Pet 5:10​

 

[Phil W]

I'm really depressed because a couple weeks ago, I lost my temper because a certain group of people took the side of an insulting jerk who told me to "get over it" after I was going through a personal crisis, plus an admin took the jerk's side. I'm still shaking from it and I want to make amends, but should I forgive them or give them the bird? Thank you all for being wonderful

Make amends for what? Losing your temper?
It is written..."Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:" (Eph 4:26)
Your forgiveness of someone is not dependent on their repentance.
Just forgive.
If you don't, you won't be forgiven either.

 

[Ricky M]

I'm really depressed because a couple weeks ago, I lost my temper because a certain group of people took the side of an insulting jerk who told me to "get over it" after I was going through a personal crisis, plus an admin took the jerk's side. I'm still shaking from it and I want to make amends, but should I forgive them or give them the bird? Thank you all for being wonderful

Not knowing the details, my general answer is that when everyone around you is saying the same thing, you have to consider they may be right. But again I don't know the details.

The other option is to avoid them, but I sense these are co-workers? Harder to do.

Forgiveness is always God's plan, but there comes a time to shake the dust from your feet...

 

[LoyalToGod]

Not knowing the details, my general answer is that when everyone around you is saying the same thing, you have to consider they may be right. But again I don't know the details.

The other option is to avoid them, but I sense these are co-workers? Harder to do.

Forgiveness is always God's plan, but there comes a time to shake the dust from your feet...

Shake the dust? Are you expecting me to "get over it"?

 

[LoyalToGod]

Make amends for what? Losing your temper?
It is written..."Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:" (Eph 4:26)
Your forgiveness of someone is not dependent on their repentance.
Just forgive.
If you don't, you won't be forgiven either.

easy for you to say. Try being insulted and then having the worst night ever

 

[LoyalToGod]

The only cure I know for that, dear sister, is to forgive in order to cleanse the heart, and to draw near and spend time in the presence of the Lord. Let His holy balm soothe and eventually heal that wound. Also remember His promise, to work everything for the good. It might also help to read the letter of 1 Peter.

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. -1Pet 5:10​

Thank you, Paul. You make a lot of sense to me

 

[Phil W]

easy for you to say. Try being insulted and then having the worst night ever

Been there, had that...plus the pain of physical violence.

Having already had your "worst night ever", now is the time to work on your best day ever and not only never repeat your reaction to someone else's bad deeds, but to counter them with forgiveness.
Things like that cannot bother you any more after you forgive.

 

[Tolworth John]

I'm really depressed because a couple weeks ago, I lost my temper because a certain group of people took the side of an insulting jerk who told me to "get over it" after I was going through a personal crisis, plus an admin took the jerk's side. I'm still shaking from it and I want to make amends, but should I forgive them or give them the bird? Thank you all for being wonderful

Contrary to what most people have told you all you need to do is apologise for losing your temper..
If they then apologise for how they treated you. You then forgive them.

As Christians we imitate God. He only forgives those who have repented.
So don't be a pharase and make up rules for Christians.

 

[Phil W]

Contrary to what most people have told you all you need to do is apologise for losing your temper..
If they then apologise for how they treated you. You then forgive them.

As Christians we imitate God. He only forgives those who have repented.
So don't be a pharase and make up rules for Christians.

Jesus forgave the Romans that crucified Him...yet hadn't repented. (Luke 23:24)

 

[Tolworth John]

Jesus forgave the Romans that crucified Him...yet hadn't repented. (Luke 23:24)

No he prayed 'Father forgive them.'
He didn't forgive them. He did what we should do with those who sin against us and either can't or won't say sorry. That is commit the incident, those involved and our emotions over to God for him to deal with.

 

[LoyalToGod]

Been there, had that...plus the pain of physical violence.

Having already had your "worst night ever", now is the time to work on your best day ever and not only never repeat your reaction to someone else's bad deeds, but to counter them with forgiveness.
Things like that cannot bother you any more after you forgive.

Thanks Phil, and sorry for taking it out on you.

 

[LoyalToGod]

Contrary to what most people have told you all you need to do is apologise for losing your temper..
If they then apologise for how they treated you. You then forgive them.

As Christians we imitate God. He only forgives those who have repented.
So don't be a pharase and make up rules for Christians.

Apologize to those insensitive jerks? Are you nuts?

 

[Lady Bug]

I don't know...Luke 17:3 tells us to forgive if the person repents.

 

[anna ~ grace]

I'm really depressed because a couple weeks ago, I lost my temper because a certain group of people took the side of an insulting jerk who told me to "get over it" after I was going through a personal crisis, plus an admin took the jerk's side. I'm still shaking from it and I want to make amends, but should I forgive them or give them the bird? Thank you all for being wonderful

Pray about it. You should forgive them. I'm not saying forgiveness is easy. Holding on to pain, anger, hurt, rage, and disgust is much, much easier. Forgiveness is difficult.

But asking God to hep us to forgive them is the first step. Keep praying it through. Doesn't mean they were right. It just means you're willing to show mercy. That is what Christ would want.

 

[Tolworth John]

Apologize to those insensitive jerks? Are you nuts?

You asked for advice, you don't have to follow it.

It is really then how the memory of the incident is affecting you.
You don't have to strain to produce feelings of forgiveness.
Forgiveness always and only follows repentance, so if the memory is playing on your mind be like Jesus when he was crucified and commit the incident, the people and your feelings over to God. Let him deal with it.

 

[Phil W]

I don't know...Luke 17:3 tells us to forgive if the person repents.

You are missing the inference of Luke 17:3.
Who repented to Jesus before He forgave the crucifiers of His body?
Besides, what is the alternative to forgiveness?
A grudge: ongoing, festering, overwhelming hate.
How is the child of God to act?
We are to love our enemies and pray for them.

 

[Phil W]

I don't know...Luke 17:3 tells us to forgive if the person repents.

You are missing the inference of Luke 17:3.
Who repented to Jesus before He forgave the crucifiers of His body?
Besides, what is the alternative to forgiveness?
A grudge: ongoing, festering, overwhelming hate.
How is the child of God to act?
We are to love our enemies and pray for them.