how do i forgive this

[mario1001]

for over a month now my mom has been here at my grandma's house helping to take care of her since her stroke.I understand it's hard work and i've been doing my best to help in anyway i can.Now my mom wants to go home (again i can understand that). The problem is she wants to put my grandma back in the convalescent hospital.She's doing fine here at home .she's happy she's hopeful,surrounded by family that loves her.I'm afraid if we put her in the hospital she'll give up and die there.My mom told me she would look into moving my grandma to her house and my brother and i would move in with her there to help her.Now i'm hearing she talked to my uncle and they agreed about the hospital.I told i don't want my grandma in the hospital.apparently what i want is irrelevant.She's trying to make an excuse that she wants to enroll my autistic cousin(who she adopted)in school.She's been home schooled for years and now all of a sudden she wants her in school.I think her husband is pressuring her to go home already(he's been out here too this whole time)if my grandma goes back to that hospital and dies there I'll never forgive my mom for being so selfish and cruel and for going behind my back to my uncle.i understand it's hard work to take care of an invalid but is it to much to ask to her to sacrifice her plans for awhile until either my grandma is either healed and recovers or (and I hope this isn't for a long time yet) the Lord calls her home.

 

[amariselle]

I wish I had good advice to give, but I just wanted to write and say I'm thinking of you during this very difficult time. <3

I will say a prayer for you, your grandma and your family.

 

[paul1149]

She's trying to make an excuse that she wants to enroll my autistic cousin(who she adopted)in school.She's been home schooled for years and now all of a sudden she wants her in school

How does that impact keeping your grandmother at home?

 

[mario1001]

How does that impact keeping your grandmother at home?

it shouldn't but that's my moms excuse for going home.I thnk her husband is pressuring her to go.

 

[paul1149]

I see. You guys couldn't take care of her while your mom went back to make arrangements? Not sure what to suggest, except to pray for the situation, and for wisdom to know what to say.

 

[mario1001]

I see. You guys couldn't take care of her while your mom went back to make arrangements? Not sure what to suggest, except to pray for the situation, and for wisdom to know what to say.

I live with my grandma and do help take care of her .my mom just wants out that's the problem

 

[Sarah G]

It is not your decision, it is your mother's decision. You can decide for yourself whether you are capable and willing to look after your grandmother. Your mother must decide for herself whether she is capable and willing to look after her mother. Your mother has much more life experience than you do. You should respect your mother.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

for over a month now my mom has been here at my grandma's house helping to take care of her since her stroke.I understand it's hard work and i've been doing my best to help in anyway i can.Now my mom wants to go home (again i can understand that). The problem is she wants to put my grandma back in the convalescent hospital.She's doing fine here at home .she's happy she's hopeful,surrounded by family that loves her.I'm afraid if we put her in the hospital she'll give up and die there.My mom told me she would look into moving my grandma to her house and my brother and i would move in with her there to help her.Now i'm hearing she talked to my uncle and they agreed about the hospital.I told i don't want my grandma in the hospital.apparently what i want is irrelevant.She's trying to make an excuse that she wants to enroll my autistic cousin(who she adopted)in school.She's been home schooled for years and now all of a sudden she wants her in school.I think her husband is pressuring her to go home already(he's been out here too this whole time)if my grandma goes back to that hospital and dies there I'll never forgive my mom for being so selfish and cruel and for going behind my back to my uncle.i understand it's hard work to take care of an invalid but is it to much to ask to her to sacrifice her plans for awhile until either my grandma is either healed and recovers or (and I hope this isn't for a long time yet) the Lord calls her home.

Please, please...respect your mom, she's doing and has done lots for family/loved ones...however your mom isn't indestructible, she needs some grace extended to her because she has done a LOT for family, she's sacrificed her plans and her own well being for a long time, she don't need or deserved to be "guilted" or be disrespected...it's not selfish of your mom to take care not to work herself into a nervous/mental breakdown or worse.
It's mentally and physically draining to look after your grandmother, your autistic cousin, managing the debt load, making critical decisions and on top of all that her husband aka your step-father has serious health issues...
My Stepdad is very ill
All that mounts to her dealing with high stress issues/situations...she may look fine on the outside but inwardly she's drained and trying to hold it all together.
It's what my people refer to as: "faking it on the outside, while you're dying on the inside.
Your mom sounds like my widowed mom who "spent" herself to care and provide for her family that she suffered a nervous/mental breakdown when I
was a little girl...although she recovered, her health wasn't ever the same again.
Regardless of where your grandmother is to be living...family still can
visit and surround her with their love and presence...when they can't be there
in person, call regularly, send little gifts: cards/notes/photos etc.

 

[EllyGrace7]

Take everything to the Lord in prayer and supplication... And as others have already said before me, keep in mind that your Mother is not perfect. So, why judge her as if she were? We are called as Christians to love and to forgive. When in sticky and emotional situations like this, ask yourself... What would Jesus Christ do? Or rather more accurately, what would Jesus Christ want YOU to do?

Mark 11:25 - And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Luke 6:37 - Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Matthew 6:14 - For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

Colossians 3:13 - Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye.

1 John 4:7
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

Suffering is a part of this world... It is terrible. But, in spite of the terribleness of suffering, we must not allow it to make us bitter. Do not grow bitter against your Mother because she is struggling, and has a lot on her plate... The Lord is the one who holds judgement over others, not you... So, forgive! Forgive as He has called all of us to do!

 

[mario1001]

Please, please...respect your mom, she's doing and has done lots for family/loved ones...however your mom isn't indestructible, she needs some grace extended to her because she has done a LOT for family, she's sacrificed her plans and her own well being for a long time, she don't need or deserved to be "guilted" or be disrespected...it's not selfish of your mom to take care not to work herself into a nervous/mental breakdown or worse.
It's mentally and physically draining to look after your grandmother, your autistic cousin, managing the debt load, making critical decisions and on top of all that her husband aka your step-father has serious health issues...
My Stepdad is very ill
All that mounts to her dealing with high stress issues/situations...she may look fine on the outside but inwardly she's drained and trying to hold it all together.
It's what my people refer to as: "faking it on the outside, while you're dying on the inside.
Your mom sounds like my widowed mom who "spent" herself to care and provide for her family that she suffered a nervous/mental breakdown when I
was a little girl...although she recovered, her health wasn't ever the same again.
Regardless of where your grandmother is to be living...family still can
visit and surround her with their love and presence...when they can't be there
in person, call regularly, send little gifts: cards/notes/photos etc.

my stepdad julio passed away in 2013( i was there holding his hand when he passed and so by the way was my grandma) shes married to another man now.As for the debt I"M the one dealing with the bills not her.

 

[mario1001]

It is not your decision, it is your mother's decision. You can decide for yourself whether you are capable and willing to look after your grandmother. Your mother must decide for herself whether she is capable and willing to look after her mother. Your mother has much more life experience than you do. You should respect your mother.

You have to understand .My grandma raised me.i love my mom but its been my grandma who took care of me and my brother .I've lived wit her my whole life.when my grandpa died my brother and i stood with her .So in a way she's my mom too.

 

[lastofall]

It may be just as you view it, or there may be circumstances you are unaware of that are causing them to do this. As for not forgiving, we shall obtain mercy if we first are merciful, and mercy is for these hard things, not for soft things: beside that, God will forgive us if we forgive others; but if we do not, then neither will He. By the Words of Christ we are to treat others as we would have them treat us: and just because another is not going by this standard, it does not give us licence also to not; rather we first live by this whether anyone else does or not; that's how it works.

 

[Sarah G]

You have to understand .My grandma raised me.i love my mom but its been my grandma who took care of me and my brother .I've lived wit her my whole life.when my grandpa died my brother and i stood with her .So in a way she's my mom too.

I am sorry, Mario. My words were rough.

I can see that you are in so much pain with all of this. I continue to pray for the best possible outcome for you all, His will be done.
Make sure to take care of yourself.
I know that God is with you.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Take everything to the Lord in prayer and supplication... And as others have already said before me, keep in mind that your Mother is not perfect. So, why judge her as if she were? We are called as Christians to love and to forgive. When in sticky and emotional situations like this, ask yourself... What would Jesus Christ do? Or rather more accurately, what would Jesus Christ want YOU to do?

Mark 11:25 - And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Luke 6:37 - Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Matthew 6:14 - For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

Colossians 3:13 - Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye.

1 John 4:7
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

Suffering is a part of this world... It is terrible. But, in spite of the terribleness of suffering, we must not allow it to make us bitter. Do not grow bitter against your Mother because she is struggling, and has a lot on her plate... The Lord is the one who holds judgement over others, not you... So, forgive! Forgive as He has called all of us to do!

Some great verses there.

 

[paul1149]

You have to understand .My grandma raised me.i love my mom but its been my grandma who took care of me and my brother .I've lived wit her my whole life.when my grandpa died my brother and i stood with her .So in a way she's my mom too.

mario, just so we have the full picture, how old are you, and are you self-sufficient?

 

[LoricaLady]

I am sorry you are going through all that and pray all works out well.

This is what helped me to forgive some people...
.
Once some people did something very wrong to me. They denied it, too. After this time sometimes YHWH, aka God, would bring me the word of knowledge "cancer" every now and then. This puzzled me. I thought it was about someone else. Finally I guess I prayed with enough heart to get the answer as to why that word kept coming to me.
.
The Father told me that I had opened a door in my heart by my anger thoughts about those people - leaving me vulnerable. Not long after that I felt led to buy a newspaper, which I never did ordinarily. Inside there was an article about how anger and hostility lower our immunological systems and can lead to serious illness. Not long after that I found I had a "possibly precanceous" growth. I got it removed and there is nothing but a barely visible scar to show for that, but I learned the lesson.
.
It starts with getting off that mental hamster wheel of angry thoughts which, of course, lead to angry feelings. I was shocked, when I tried to stop them, at how often I was on that hamster wheel! When I got really good at pushing those negative feelings aside I found that, without even trying, I had forgiven those people!
.
It takes practice to get off. It took me a month. From time to time I find I'm on it again, in some other area, but get off!
.