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How do I forgive someone who beat me up

Discussion in 'Autism & Aspergers' started by IloveJesus-Ly, Jan 1, 2019.

  1. IloveJesus-Ly

    IloveJesus-Ly Jesus Christ died for our sins.

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    Its me again. Im 27 and suffering from serious mental retardation. When I was in 6 grade a kid starting beating me up everyday for 2 weeks and it hurt and I dont know why he did it. How do I forgive him. I got so mad at him in my heart.
     
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  2. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie Supporter

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    What helps a lot of folks is praying for the person who has hurt you. The more we pray, the more we can let go. Sometimes we have to force the angry throughts out with prayer.
     
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  3. Hammster

    Hammster Melanin Level - Low Staff Member Site Advisor Supporter

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    You need to have a gospel focus on the situation. You need to understand that your sin against God is far greater than this person’s sin against you. So if you keep reminding yourself of how much you are forgiven, and how much that cost Christ, it’s easier to forgive others.
     
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  4. salt-n-light

    salt-n-light Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Find him and give him a wedgie, that will do it :)

    Just kidding! Often times closures lies with you, you can take it a couple of ways depending on your situation. If he is still in the neighborhood, you can see to invite him for coffee and catch up and talk to him about it. Or you can give it to God.

    It may not even be that its him persay, but its the feeling that it brought you that it left you, maybe it made you feel powerless, hopeless, vulnerable. Those are feelings you can work out on yourself, "why do I feel powerless/hopeless/vulnerable in this situation? Is my assumption based on facts or something I conjured up?". You can also look to find professional help or a reliable friend to hash out your struggles. And then look what God say about you, put scriptures together to meditate on. Whenever you find yourself in that state, refer back to the scriptures and pray about it.

    And remember that we sometimes are guilty of the same things that also hurt us. I can recall times when I was just as guilty being hurtful with my words as someone that was hurtful for me. So it will put you in a mindset of humility and grace.
     
  5. maintenance man

    maintenance man Well-Known Member Supporter

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    The fact that you want to forgive him is a good start.

    First of all, his beating you up had absolutely noting to do with you and everything to do with him.

    Why he did it is likely because of something bad that happened in his life. Not because of something you did. You were probably just and easy target for him to take out his anger on.

    You can remain angry with him - what he did was wrong and hurtful. But you can forgive him by trying to understand he was acting out of his own anger, fear, insecurity, or pain.
     
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  6. John Bowen

    John Bowen Active Member Supporter

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    How I believe the kid who beat you up would have done it to anybody you where just there at the time so it happened to you .So I wouldn't take it personally and the kid who did it wasn't being his real self he was just acting out his anger maybe at home he was beaten ? What I do is take any memories of any images I don't want and imagine they are crushed up like a piece of paper and throw them at Jesus flaming heart to dissolve them and then maybe after a couple times they will have no more of a pull on me.
     
  7. HTacianas

    HTacianas Well-Known Member

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    Imagine how you would feel if he came looking for you to apologize. Now imagine he can't find you.
     
  8. Monk Brendan

    Monk Brendan Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Make an act of your will to forgive him, then pray that your emotions will catch up with what you know to be right.
     
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  9. Phoebe Ann

    Phoebe Ann From Mormonism to Christ Supporter

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    Gracia Singh is so right! So very, very right!

    Ephesians 4:32
    32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

    Ask God to help you, because it's an extremely difficult responsibilty. Beg God to help that person as well as asking Him to help you forgive. God loves you and will help you; I know based on my past.

     
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  10. Phoebe Ann

    Phoebe Ann From Mormonism to Christ Supporter

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    I've thought the same things about those who have hurt me. They were all products of their own perceptions and real life events.
     
  11. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

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    Good that Yahweh is 'cleaning' life today , for many of us.

    Read the account of Jesus' crucifixion in The NT.

    Forgive with the same attitude as Christ showed while He was crucified.
    Father, Abba, Creator,
    as You Have Directed Me,
    forgive them who have crucified Me willingly,
    because they know not what they are guilty of, what they are doing.
     
  12. Blade

    Blade Veteran Supporter

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    Been there.. same thing.. and more.. My dad use to beat be.. with a board.. and said things.. anyway.. in Church on day.. I was told I need to ask my dad to forgive me. I cried.. she knew my life.. huh? Me ask him to forgive me? Do you know why? :)

    So later that week we were down stairs watching TV 3 Channels. I looked up at the clock and it was 8:30pm and I look over at my dad to the left and say.."dad will you forgive me for ever hurting you?" He said "yes will you forgive me"?..

    So I call Jean and tell her what I did. She asks "was it about 8:30pm when you did this? I said..yes how did you know?" she said the lord told me to pray for you right then.

    He had 6 kids before me and my brother. My brother left when he was 15.. I only remember that night before hearing him screaming with my dad in with him in the room. So.. not long before my dad passed away said "out of all his kids he felt closet to me". I just forgave.. yet.. I asked 1st. Not saying one has to.. for this is how I had to do it. Never waited never hoping he would ask me to forgive him.

    So if its hard.. give to to Christ.. ask Him for help.. HE WILL BE THERE!
     
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  13. Jeshu

    Jeshu Bought by His Blood Supporter

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    Trauma memories come in layers. Firstly we have fear about such times, secondly we are angry about such times and thirdly we have been hurt by such times. The fear tries to keep us away from the anger, the anger keeps us away from the unresolved hurt and so our memories can torture us within.

    To apply the law of love is the way to go about forgiving your abuser. The more love you can muster for that boy who beat you up the more willing you will be to forgive Him from the heart. It is very important that you forgive out of love and not through forced will for that doesn't work and will only increase the volume of your trauma experiences.

    Please remember this boy stands judged for his deeds against you. Also consider that the wrong he pushed on you is at work within him as well. And finally know that the hurt you feel maybe nothing compared to the hurt he has been in, or will be in - being unforgiving - still dead in sin!

    i do understand the importance of forgiveness. i had to forgive three young men who raped and almost murdered me when i was a kid. They caused an enormous amount of pain in my life. It didn't seem fair to forgive them at first. Yet pondering on the fact that they are unsaved, and that their deeds cling to them, make me shudder to think what punishment awaits them having caused me (and indirectly others,) so much harm. To learn to love these people instead of fearing and hating them made all the difference.

    The good thing of forgiveness is that it takes away much of the bad life our attackers left behind within us and brings us inner peace again. Forgiveness gains us an enormous amount of love and goodwill and of course it portrays us in the image of our Lord.

    Please be of good courage and seek to love this boy unconditionally, just like you are unconditionally loved, forgiveness will flow from that.

    Peace.
     
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  14. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

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    Think of Jesus on the cross and remember everything they did to Him. The paim and suffering and Him saying 'Forgive them Father, they know not what they do'

    You gain the most from forgiving someone. Not the person you forgive.

    I had trouble forgiving an abusive husband. I kept unforgiving him. I made a thread on here about it. Had lots of good advice but what actually worked was praying.

    I told God that I wanted to forgive but couldn't. But I wanted to do what He says. Before I said Amen I was able to forgive. I think it was recognising I needed His help to do it.
     
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  15. leowls

    leowls New Member

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    sight...why would a all-loving God allow someone with mental retardation to be beaten up? So one can exercise the practice of forgiveness? As though Aspies do not have enough struggles of their own.
     
  16. leowls

    leowls New Member

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    It's 2 different things to suffer for Christ and suffer as a result of autism. I have been persecuted before for my zeal in giving out tracks and invite all my classmates to church. None of those persecution bother me at all. In fact I had joy in my heart. But how is it one is suffering for Christ when he is persecuted or his autism? It has nothing to do with Christ at all. As a result one suffer more and more panic attacks as he/she is driven to isolation.
     
  17. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

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    Because God is there for one of His children, strengthening them no matter the cause.

    Autism or not, forgiveness is the same. My daughter has autism (I may have it too) and has to forgive those who torment her at school daily. If she doesn't it will be her burden. Jesus, as I said, is an example to us all.
     
  18. leowls

    leowls New Member

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    Sometimes I wonder does God get a kick out of our suffering as an AS?
     
  19. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

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    I tend to feel like we are more blessed when we are suffering. It is then we are more dependent on Him and He sustains us. Moreso, when we look to Him.

    The day my brother died (suddenly) I had so much peace. I realised there was nothing left to fear because our Father will see us through it. I had so much praise in my heart and gratitude because my brother becane a Christian weeks before and was baptised just 2 days before he passed. Such a comfort to me to know my brother was saved in time. Throughout that period, and other times of hardship, I've felt really close to God and protected.

    When in awe at Him, at His goodness to care about lowly us, our eyes are off our circumstances. We tend to see things more clearly.

    Living with ASD can suck. My daughter faces constant rejection from her peers but she is happy. She has such a caring nature and sees others as people who need help and love.

    There are many on this earth who suffer, think of those who lose family because of civil unrest/ disasters. Those who face physical agony daily. However, any suffering they -or any of us have- is only a blink of an eye compared to our time in our eternal home. In Heaven there will be no more suffering. I hope something here is a comfort or help to you and that you don't feel I'm dismissing how you feel. I acknowledge that you feel bad right now but God does love you and will help you through this life. God bless you. ♡
     
  20. leowls

    leowls New Member

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    True but suffering is a double edged sword. It can turn some to God and others to bitterness especially if they are pushed to the extreme.
     
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