How do I deal with this?

[the_Abbot]

I am a single father with a 12 year old son. Anyways my son just came up to me and told me about a note some girls in class gave him today. The note was signed by a few of the girls and it said "whenever you want it you can have it". He asked me what does that mean. I didn't know how to answer him. Anyways my first response running through my head was to smile and say ALRIGHT and give him a high five. I controlled myself from that, but I have to be honest I am feeling so proud of him right now. I just don't know how to deal with this situation.

 

[Monica child of God 1]

Oh, Lord help us...

Does he know much about sex at all yet? Have you spoken with him about purity? Misusing his body? Using girls for sex that he has no intention of loving in any real (ie godly) way? Does he know that sex outside of marriage is a sin?

Better to hear things from you than from those girls at school. No one ever told me that sex before marriage was a sin when I was younger :o

M.

 

[the_Abbot]

Oh, Lord help us...

Does he know much about sex at all yet? Have you spoken with him about purity? Misusing his body? Using girls for sex that he has no intention of loving in any real (ie godly) way? Does he know that sex outside of marriage is a sin?

Better to hear things from you than from those girls at school. No one ever told me that sex before marriage was a sin when I was younger :o

M.

I'm sure he has heard about sex from the kids in school. The way he asked me I feel like his friends told him what the note meant and he came to me to clarify, but I completely chickened out with telling him. I'm so not ready for this.

 

[the_Abbot]

I just cannot approach him about the subject of sex It scares me.

 

[Monica child of God 1]

You have to Abbot. He needs you to do this for him.

I know it is hard. I have a 14 year old boy and a 17 year old step daughter. It is really, really bad out there for these kids. They are being devoured by sexual sin and temptation. It is everywhere. You have to keep your son as pure as possible by guiding him in the way he should go.

Have him read about Joseph and Potiphar's wife. Proverbs is another good section for this.

When wisdom enters your heart,
And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
Discretion will preserve you;
Understanding will keep you,
To deliver you from the way of evil,
From the man who speaks perverse things,
From those who leave the paths of uprightness
To walk in the ways of darkness;
Who rejoice in doing evil,
And delight in the perversity of the wicked;
Whose ways are crooked,
And who are devious in their paths;
To deliver you from the immoral woman,
From the seductress who flatters with her words,

M.

 

[nestoj]

You'll have to...sooner or later (better not to leave him alone now when he asked you). Whatever you choose to advice him now, be ready for him later thinking you gave him the wrong advice.

As I say,
God helps

 

[seashale76]

I'm sure he has heard about sex from the kids in school. The way he asked me I feel like his friends told him what the note meant and he came to me to clarify, but I completely chickened out with telling him. I'm so not ready for this.

Being a middle school teacher, I can tell you, if you don't tell him these things he will hear them from someone else. I can guarantee that you won't approve of the misinformation his peers are spreading around. You would be really surprised how much kids that age still really value the opinions and beliefs they are taught at home. Parents don't quite see how influential they really are in the lives of their kids because they tend to only see how the secular godless culture effects them negatively. Trust me, when I see good kids who seem to have good morals and are good students, they always have parents who are involved on all levels.

 

[the_Abbot]

I am going to build up the courage and have the talk with him tonight about it. I did not want to have to do this so soon, but I know I really have to do it.

 

[icxn]

In addition to what God enlightens you to tell him, I would suggest that he too wrote a note to the girls saying:

"What I want, you don't have!"



If they ask what? Let him ask them first what they were offering to him in the first place. Then let him come to you for the appropriate reply to their response. Then post it here and I will tell you what follows, God willing.

 

[the_Abbot]

In addition to what God enlightens you to tell him, I would suggest that he too wrote a note to the girls saying:

"What I want, you don't have!"



If they ask what? Let him ask them first what they were offering to him in the first place. Then let him come to you for the appropriate reply to their response.

 

[AureateDawn]

Oh yeesh. I feel for ya.

 

[buzuxi02]

I am a single father with a 12 year old son. Anyways my son just came up to me and told me about a note some girls in class gave him today. The note was signed by a few of the girls and it said "whenever you want it you can have it". He asked me what does that mean. I didn't know how to answer him. Anyways my first response running through my head was to smile and say ALRIGHT and give him a high five. I controlled myself from that, but I have to be honest I am feeling so proud of him right now. I just don't know how to deal with this situation.

Maybe they mean candy or something. Isnt 12 year olds too young to mean that? At that age i played stickball

 

[AureateDawn]

Times are changing. I am 16 now, and at 12 I remember sexual things creeping up. But nowadays, I see 10 year olds smoking weed and getting tripped on acid and making out like crazy (among other things...). And it's only been about 7 years since I was that age.

 

[the_Abbot]

Maybe they mean candy or something. Isnt 12 year olds too young to mean that? At that age i played stickball

Haha I wish that is what they meant, but I doubt it.

 

[Lotar]

I was already a pro at playing slap the monkey by 12. Definately not too young. A couple years too late, if anything.

 

[seashale76]

Maybe they mean candy or something. Isnt 12 year olds too young to mean that? At that age i played stickball

Unfortunately, no. It is really sad how many in that age group are no longer innocent (whether by choice or not). It's heart breaking to see on a daily basis.

As an example: When I first started teaching I worked at a particular inner city school with a terrible reputation that was well deserved. One day, I was eating lunch in the lounge and looked out the window to the court yard (where there was a glass stair case) only to see a girl sexually assaulting a boy. You would be genuinely horrified to know how often things like that really do happen (and the public only hears about roughly 1% of the cases). That school was a spiritual battleground.

I have former students (who dropped out in high school) that are in federal prison for murder. At least one of my former students is dead (gang and drugs). I know of five kids (boys and girls) who became parents while still in middle school. I've had students who told me they were possessed (one of whom actually had a loaded gun ready to bring to school). I've seen tough kids cry because their parents were so wrapped up in drugs and prostitution to remember they even had kids who needed them, etc.

 

[seashale76]

I am a single father with a 12 year old son. Anyways my son just came up to me and told me about a note some girls in class gave him today. The note was signed by a few of the girls and it said "whenever you want it you can have it". He asked me what does that mean. I didn't know how to answer him. Anyways my first response running through my head was to smile and say ALRIGHT and give him a high five. I controlled myself from that, but I have to be honest I am feeling so proud of him right now. I just don't know how to deal with this situation.

Actually, looking at this post again, I have to say that you need to contact the school and let them know about the note. It is inappropriate and they do need to know about this.

 

[Philothei]

Actually, looking at this post again, I have to say that you need to contact the school and let them know about the note. It is inappropriate and they do need to know about this.

I would second that Aboot... it is something I would report... They need to know that this stuff is going on... Like others already said I would talk to him head on... the issue.

My daughter is 11 and I have already done it... No time left.. she already knew more stuff she was admiting to know.. so I got myself a good pic book and spend a week on it. She moaned ....she was embarassed but went through it and then ... the questions came in and ...still coming. Because she feels at ease to ask. I aready know of all her ...crushes and stuff... of course being of the same sex helps I do not know how to approach a boy. But I m sure my hubby would handle that one. It should not be too hard to talk to a boy...being a dad eitther.

God bless,
Philothei

 

[gzt]

Honestly, he needs a good male role model in this regard. Don't abdicate your responsibilities. Sit down, talk it out, no matter how utterly embarrassing it is. And, honestly, he's twelve, even by the warped standards of the secular world that is messed up, so you really should have a chat with his teachers.

 

[MoNiCa4316]

I agree that you should talk to him...I can imagine it's difficult... but yea he'll hear all kinds of stuff at school that might lead him in the wrong direction. I remember some of the things that went on in my school.

God bless