How do I deal with my 13 year old gay grandson?

[Tony B]

I’ve got a biology degree and being gay is a part of the range of human behaviors and it’s natural

It is not natural, it is completely unnatural. If you don’t believe in God and His ways, and I fear that perhaps you don’t, at least believe in nature. Hasn’t nature passed judgement on homosexual sexual acts, and condemned them! Some of the worst diseases known to man have either emanated from or been propagated through homosexual and other sexually impure acts, and those diseases are given out through nature, by God.

The fact that your father was narrow minded about what is right or wrong for a female to do, as far as work or recreation is concerned, is not a valid reason to revile God and more or less say His abhorrence to homosexuality is wrong. Particularly since homosexuality goes against the laws He built into nature, as well as His moral laws. Just because elements of nature and humankind go wonky every now and again, that is not a cause to rule God out of our decision making.

 

[Tony B]

I would advise taking it out of the specific context for a moment, and consider what might be needed to love God and to love your grandson as your would have your grandson love you.
Love God as someone who has overlooked (or forgiven) all that you have done wrong. God has done so, just because it was offered and you said, yes please.
Now, consider how to love your grandson as God has loved you. How often have you asked for, expected, or accepted God calling you Beloved when your true name was Sinner? Sometimes we (or our father) overlooks things, because we know to do otherwise will break the relationship. Why would we hold our young to a standard that we ourselves cannot live up to?
This situation is hard. I wouldn't pretend otherwise. It is awkward. I'm sure your grandchild knows this. They are looking for your love and support as a person, not as a gender or sexual preference. Seek their truest self and love them as much as you can. It is what Jesus would want.

To everyone who is giving theological advice, allow the grandmother space to figure a way to keep her family close, while staying true to her beliefs. In such a way some have entertained angels.

Sorry, this is just bad advice, and goes against God’s requirements for human kind. Your kind of love is very much against the kind of love that God expects of Christians. The kind of loving action He expects of us includes standing for what is right, ie His moral laws, and offering no compromise on that no matter what the cost.

 

[hedrick]

Sorry, this is just bad advice, and goes against God’s requirements for human kind. Your kind of love is very much against the kind of love that God expects of Christians. The kind of loving action He expects of us includes standing for what is right, ie His moral laws, and offering no compromise on that no matter what the cost.

Including cutting a 13 year old child out of your life because you think they have made a mistake?

 

[Tony B]

Including cutting a 13 year old child out of your life because you think they have made a mistake?

It’s not so much that the grandparents will be cutting their grandson from them, but rather the insistence of the daughter and the grandson that the grandparents must accept their attitudes and behaviour, which are anti God, that would be forcing any separation. Hopefully it won’t in the OP’s case because they are making a stand for what is right and not bending to the ungodly approach of their daughter. Hopefully the child will accept and respect the authority of the grandparents whilst he is in their presence at least, and there will be no break in the relationship. There’s no guarantee, but because her parents have drawn a line based on God’s requirements, hopefully that will cause their daughter to stop and consider the seriousness of the situation, and change her approach to parenting which is sadly lacking here.

The significant scriptural warning for the consequences to an adult that causes a child to sin, or keep sinning, is in Jesus’ warning...’it would be better for them that they had tied a weight around themselves, and cast themselves into the deepest part of the ocean’, for the wrath of God upon them will be fierce. The same warning applies to any adult that would support another adult’s behaviour that causes a child to sin.

 

[NerdGirl]

Including cutting a 13 year old child out of your life because you think they have made a mistake?

I would never cut a child out of my life. That's my personal stance. This is a child, most likely very misled and misguided, and that's not his fault in any way. He's not old enough to be making such immensely life-changing decisions with a properly formed and well-rounded perspective. I would remain in his life as much as I could be, so that I could hopefully be a loving, helpful, guiding influence for the truth. I would not cave into his wishes to be accepted as anything but what God made him to be: a heterosexual boy. But I would absolutely remain in his life, as long as he was willing to have me there.

 

[Sparagmos]

It is not natural, it is completely unnatural. If you don’t believe in God and His ways, and I fear that perhaps you don’t, at least believe in nature. Hasn’t nature passed judgement on homosexual sexual acts, and condemned them! Some of the worst diseases known to man have either emanated from or been propagated through homosexual and other sexually impure acts, and those diseases are given out through nature, by God.

The fact that your father was narrow minded about what is right or wrong for a female to do, as far as work or recreation is concerned, is not a valid reason to revile God and more or less say His abhorrence to homosexuality is wrong. Particularly since homosexuality goes against the laws He built into nature, as well as His moral laws. Just because elements of nature and humankind go wonky every now and again, that is not a cause to rule God out of our decision making.

Nature passed judgement on homosexual acts? What nonsense. What act is cancer judgement for? How about COVID?

 

[Brightmoon]

It is not natural, it is completely unnatural. If you don’t believe in God and His ways, and I fear that perhaps you don’t, at least believe in nature. Hasn’t nature passed judgement on homosexual sexual acts, and condemned them! Some of the worst diseases known to man have either emanated from or been propagated through homosexual and other sexually impure acts, and those diseases are given out through nature, by God.

The fact that your father was narrow minded about what is right or wrong for a female to do, as far as work or recreation is concerned, is not a valid reason to revile God and more or less say His abhorrence to homosexuality is wrong. Particularly since homosexuality goes against the laws He built into nature, as well as His moral laws. Just because elements of nature and humankind go wonky every now and again, that is not a cause to rule God out of our decision making.

. My fathers hysterical misogynistic behavior included a rabid hatred for gays . He even didn’t know any gays . I consider homophobia to be an offshoot of misogynistic behavior. And the Bible is full of that . Women are property and they are treated like that . I ruled homophobia out of my life because I had a gay friend almost die because someone just like my father decided my friend deserved to be injured and almost killed . Maybe it was more socially acceptable back then to attack and torture gays but that’s beside the point. I called being gay (or whatever )natural because no matter how much you gaslight and harass people over being gay , all you’re doing is just making them afraid of being abused . You’re not really changing their sexual orientation. There’s also the biological evidence that this happens before birth . Those altered structures in the brain don’t change because your version of a religion doesn’t like it. Ignorance from the Bronze Age doesn’t belong in the 21st

Let’s not get into the so called harm of a gay lifestyle because a lot of that is due to the shunning, rejection and other emotional abuse and violence too many of them are subjected to .

All my immature father’s behavior did was make me question societally imposed sex roles . The stupid idea that all Boys like blue and all girls like pink and other equally idiotic nonsense. That me led to wonder why he and others felt so angry about a sexual relationship that they weren’t part of . Even without the biological basis for gays being a natural part of being human , I still think religious based gay bashing is stupid immature behavior whether it’s violence or just rejection and emotional abuse. And please don’t put God hates them on this, He made them that way !

 

[hedrick]

The significant scriptural warning for the consequences to an adult that causes a child to sin, or keep sinning, is in Jesus’ warning...’it would be better for them that they had tied a weight around themselves, and cast themselves into the deepest part of the ocean’, for the wrath of God upon them will be fierce. The same warning applies to any adult that would support another adult’s behaviour that causes a child to sin.

The passage is "If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea." (Mark 9:42)

Many of us think that rejection of gay kids is in fact putting a stumbling block before them. Certainly it can have serious negative consequences.

Ideally, the child will be mature enough to realize that their grandmother could be wrong but still be worth loving. But it's really the adult's responsibility to prevent the problem, per Jesus' saying.

[I looked up the Greek behind Mark 9:42, because translations are so different. What is translated "put a stumbling block before" is a single word. While that's the literal meaning, the meaning in context includes being the cause of various kinds of disaster, often metaphorical such as the cause of sin, the cause of falling away from Jesus, or causing offense. All of these occur in the NT. The context doesn't make the meaning entirely clear, but given the extreme consequences I think it suggests falling away from Jesus, not just committing a specific sin.]

 

[Tony B]

What act is cancer judgement for

Adam and Eve’s sin.

Nature passed judgement on homosexual acts? What nonsense.

You disagree with the apostle Paul then: “Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons (bodies) the due penalty for their perversity.“

How about COVID?

We don’t know the specific cause or source of COVID-19 as yet, but it has either come from nature’s reaction to an unnatural activity, or God has instigated it as a warning to society that it is getting further and further away from Him.

 

[Brightmoon]

Cancer happens when the cell ignores signals to stop growing and dividing. The genes involved get stuck on . It’s not a punishment from God it’s natural when the cells get bombarded with mutagens and carcinogens over the course of living . It’s important to eat healthy and live healthy thats what God wants us to do.

 

[Tony B]

. My fathers hysterical misogynistic behavior included a rabid hatred for gays . He even didn’t know any gays . I consider homophobia to be an offshoot of misogynistic behavior. And the Bible is full of that . Women are property and they are treated like that . I ruled homophobia out of my life because I had a gay friend almost die because someone just like my father decided my friend deserved to be injured and almost killed . Maybe it was more socially acceptable back then to attack and torture gays but that’s beside the point. I called being gay (or whatever )natural because no matter how much you gaslight and harass people over being gay , all you’re doing is just making them afraid of being abused . You’re not really changing their sexual orientation. There’s also the biological evidence that this happens before birth . Those altered structures in the brain don’t change because your version of a religion doesn’t like it. Ignorance from the Bronze Age doesn’t belong in the 21st

Let’s not get into the so called harm of a gay lifestyle because a lot of that is due to the shunning, rejection and other emotional abuse and violence too many of them are subjected to .

All my immature father’s behavior did was make me question societally imposed sex roles . The stupid idea that all Boys like blue and all girls like pink and other equally idiotic nonsense. That me led to wonder why he and others felt so angry about a sexual relationship that they weren’t part of . Even without the biological basis for gays being a natural part of being human , I still think religious based gay bashing is stupid immature behavior whether it’s violence or just rejection and emotional abuse. And please don’t put God hates them on this, He made them that way !

It seems to me you are making judgements based upon your own understanding, and not relying on God’s understanding.

Many of us have suffered a less than goodly upbringing, but we don’t let that experience and our emotions confuse our thinking, and reject God’s precepts and moral laws, instead we earnestly seek them out.

If you don’t believe what I am saying is truth, that’s fine. But at least take the time to ask God, and if your are really seeking out the whole truth, and not cherry picking it to suit yourself, He will tell you, He won’t leave you ignorant.

 

[Brightmoon]

My church accepts gays as is ! I just came to the same conclusion by a different route

 

[Tony B]

Cancer happens when the cell ignores signals to stop growing and dividing. The genes involved get stuck on . It’s not a punishment from God it’s natural when the cells get bombarded with mutagens and carcinogens over the course of living . It’s important to eat healthy and live healthy thats what God wants us to do.

That’s the mechanics of it, but we wouldn’t be experiencing it except for our Adamic nature. Now we will all die of some ailment or other act, but God has freed us from the second death if we continue to abide in His Son Jesus.

I agree, a good diet, as well as exercise, will help us withstand the rigours of this life.

 

[Tony B]

My church accepts gays as is ! I just came to the same conclusion by a different route

Well, your church is flying in the face of what the apostles said. They indicated there is no place in heaven for practicing homosexuals (or effeminate) males.

Being a male that has a gentle, caring, and merciful heart is not being effeminate. In fact they are probably displaying the characteristics of the natural gift of ‘Mercy’ that Paul alluded to in his letter to the church in Rome. Heaven knows, considering the amount of emotional hurt that is spread throughout the world and the church, we need more men and women with that gift of mercy, actively serving society and in the church. It’s been my experience by the way, that they generally are great at emotional and mental counselling, but generally not so great at medical nursing.

Parents that have a male child with these mercy characteristics need to make sure their son realises that it’s ok for him to be like that, and that he is a benefit to society. But they also need to make sure his characteristics are kept in balance, and guide him to a form of work where his natural talents will be appreciated, and closely watch over his development so that his personality is not tripped or pushed into the darkness of effeminacy and homosexuality.

 

[Brightmoon]

Even non avian dinosaurs had cancers long before humans evolved . i think that Adam and Eve story is mythological

 

[Tony B]

Even non avian dinosaurs had cancers long before humans evolved . i think that Adam and Eve story is mythological

So, you are effectively stating that you are not Christian then. So be it.

 

[Brightmoon]

My oldest son liked pink .everyone gave him a hard time about it . I thought of it as a color and painted his room as requested, in pink . I got the you’re-gonna-turn-that-boy-gay nonsense . I told my son to enjoy his favorite color and ignore family who pestered him. I also told him that if he couldn’t handle the harassment, to come to me. I don’t set much stock in that kind of superficial sex role playing because I think it’s stupid. If my son had asked to wear a dress . I would have been honest about the consequences of people harassing him but if after that he still wanted to , id just let him. The only thing I’d do is set limits about where he could wear one but just to protect him from harassment . I remember Boy George!

 

[Brightmoon]

Not every Christian thinks that story is a history

 

[Tony B]

The passage is "If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea." (Mark 9:42)

Many of us think that rejection of gay kids is in fact putting a stumbling block before them. Certainly it can have serious negative consequences.

Ideally, the child will be mature enough to realize that their grandmother could be wrong but still be worth loving. But it's really the adult's responsibility to prevent the problem, per Jesus' saying.

[I looked up the Greek behind Mark 9:42, because translations are so different. What is translated "put a stumbling block before" is a single word. While that's the literal meaning, the meaning in context includes being the cause of various kinds of disaster, often metaphorical such as the cause of sin, the cause of falling away from Jesus, or causing offense. All of these occur in the NT. The context doesn't make the meaning entirely clear, but given the extreme consequences I think it suggests falling away from Jesus, not just committing a specific sin.]

His grandparents are not wrong, anyone professing they are wrong, is indeed professing that God is wrong.

I think the following verses should help clear it up for what God thinks on the subject, as written by men influenced and lead by His Holy Spirit:

“Do not be deceived; neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor boy prostitutes nor sodomites nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.”;

“...the understanding that law is meant not for a righteous person but for the lawless and unruly, the godless and sinful, the unholy and profane, those who kill their fathers or mothers, murderers, the unchaste, sodomites, kidnappers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is opposed to sound teaching, according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, with which I have been entrusted.“;

“...Likewise, Sodom, Gomorrah, and the surrounding towns, which, in the same manner as they, indulged in sexual promiscuity and practiced unnatural vice, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.“;

“Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons (bodies) the due penalty for their perversity.“

I think that’s enough said.

 

[ovis90]

Prayer for to Jesus to open his eeyes and have faith God will do that. I don't think its good to just accept it because there world is saying so, but bible is strict on this things.