I have a wife who has a serious substance abuse problem. She has been diagnosed with depression and is taking an anti-depressant, but is also "self medicating" herself with alcohol and marijuana every day.
When we first met I engaged in these behaviors with her, but have gradually quit all drugs (including cigarettes) and drink very occasionally. She on the other hand is still doing these things.
She is a committed Christian but sees nothing wrong with these habits. In the past when I have voiced my concern about them; she accuses me of being over-pious and judgemental. She thinks that I do not accept her as she is because I don't approve of her behavior, or like her hanging around with her partying friends.
So my question is: Is there a gentle loving way for me to encourage her to quit without getting her all defensive?
When we first met I engaged in these behaviors with her, but have gradually quit all drugs (including cigarettes) and drink very occasionally. She on the other hand is still doing these things.
She is a committed Christian but sees nothing wrong with these habits. In the past when I have voiced my concern about them; she accuses me of being over-pious and judgemental. She thinks that I do not accept her as she is because I don't approve of her behavior, or like her hanging around with her partying friends.
So my question is: Is there a gentle loving way for me to encourage her to quit without getting her all defensive?