How can I love God?

Chance7

Active Member
Jan 18, 2018
96
85
26
Northern Cambria
✟23,829.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Hi everyone. I really need some help. My name is Chance. I have Autism and OCD and Bipolar disorder and a few other things and I think these things have really warped my view of God. Instead of seeing God as loving, I have been seeing him as terrible. I no longer see God as a loving God. I see him as cruel and uncaring. I have been reading things from the Bible more and they have destroyed my love for God. My entire Christian life has begun to fall apart because of it. All I ever read tells us to fear God. He tells us to fear him constantly. Well, I can’t fear and love someone at the same time. It’s just not possible for me. I have certain family members and people in my life that I can’t stand to be around because they scare me. It’s just the way I am. This has severely affected my relationship with God as well.

Ever since I started reading about hell I can’t stand to even think about God. Hell has destroyed my relationship with God. I can’t even read my Bible anymore. I can’t pray. I tremble every time I hear God’s name and I literally hyperventilate to the point where I am close to panic. I get scared even talking about God. I hear God’s name and the onky thought that comes to my mind is “God is coming to get you and send you to hell soon”. It’s all I can think of anymore. Ever since I started reading about hell, I can find almost no love for God anymore. I now see God as a terrifying monster, rather than a loving God. He created billions of people knowing that they would all eventually just be tortured in a burning pit for all eternity with no hope in this world? How is he loving. He could have chosen not to create people that would go to such a place. But he didn’t. He created them all knowing they would be in pain forever. Do you call that love?

It has been literally keeping me up at night. I can’t even sleep anymore because of dreams about hell. I wake up in panic. I can’t even stand to read my Bible or pray anymore. It just gives me extremely intense anxiety. It’s literally all I can think of anymore. How many people are burning in hell right now? Is my family going to hell? Am I going to hell? The OCD about hell has destroyed my love for God and has made me see no value in Christ’s sacrifice. All he did is come to put even more restrictions on us and to tell us basically “few will actually make it to Heaven because you have to be perfect to get there” then after telling us that barely anyone will make it to Heaven and that we will be burning in a torture pit forever with demons torturing us and fire burning us while we are slowly eaten by maggots, he says “oh, by the way, God loves you so love him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength or your going to hell. I see no love in that whatsoever.

Jesus might as well have said “just give up” because he just came to add more rules and make it even harder. That’s what I see. It’s all I can see. I see no beauty in the Gospel anymore. I’ve been brought to tears worrying about hell more times than I can count. God wants us to fear him? He got it. I fear him. But there is no love in my heart for hi. Anymore. Only bitterness and fear and depression. instead of a child, I feel like a dog on a leash. God made it basically impossible to go to Heaven and I’m so depressed that I’m just going through the motions of Christianity anymore with no real heart for God.

Then God tells us to hate our families and love him more than them. How can God possibly expect that of me when he just Got done threatening me with eternal torment. Why would God show me hell if he expected me to love him. I was doing so Good for so long reading about God’s love and I was ready to do the will of God and follow him to the ends of the earth, until he scared me to death with threats of hell. I’m sorry but I just can’t stand God anymore. It hurts too much to keep trying to be a Christian. I can’t stand the feelings of constant Condemnation. How can I love God and fear him at the same time?

I feel nothing but anxiety and depression and bitterness anymore. All of which are sins. But I can’t do anything about them. I’ve tried everything. Devotional, Bible reading, Even prayer. Nothing helps anymore. I feel like a pig in a slaughterhouse, just waiting to go to hell. I’m nowhere even close to being a model Christian. I feel utterly hopeless. I fear God so much now that I can’t stand him anymore. I don’t know what to do now, anymore. I live in constant depression and anxiety now and it’s slowly killing me. I’m doubting everything abou5 God. His love, my faith, even his very existence.

So my question is, Will God understand my mental illness and help me with it. Does God care about how I feel or does he only care about how much I can do for him. It seems like God only cares about how perfect of a person you are. I’ve talked to people about this before and they only made it worse by warning of hell more. I really need help!
 

yeshuaslavejeff

simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Jan 6, 2005
39,944
11,098
okie
✟214,996.00
Faith
Anabaptist
"Be not afraid" Says Jesus at times .

"Peace, I give you" Says Jesus at times.

"Be Still , and KNOW (Experientially) that I AM YAHWEH (God)" Yahweh Says.

The world is under a death sentence because of sin. Everyone.
Thus, the world should be afraid, very afraid.

Jesus came to save people from their sin. Everyone who comes to Jesus to be healed (saved from sin), He will not turn away. (He is Willing to heal them).
 
Upvote 0

yeshuaslavejeff

simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Jan 6, 2005
39,944
11,098
okie
✟214,996.00
Faith
Anabaptist
Keep seeking Yahweh (God) as you did post:
QUOTE="Chance7, post: 72367310, member: 406066"]Praise the LORD! I finally found the peace I’ve been yearning for. I have been begging God in prayer for peace, assurance of salvation, and mercy for months and in one day, he answered all of them. I finally found so much peace with God that I am feeling great. Who knew, my OCD was getting in the way of everything. For months I have been OCD about everything and this morning I got the message to just live and not worry about the rest because God has it all under control. So, I did and God gave me this unimaginable peace. I feel great now. I love God so much. Amen![/QUOTE
 
Upvote 0

RisenInJesus

Well-Known Member
Apr 8, 2016
608
273
USA
✟34,201.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
When you truly know Who God is and His incredible perfect love, you will reverence Him in awe and be so filled with love for Him that you don't have the fear you are now overcome by.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 1john 4:18
 
Upvote 0

RisenInJesus

Well-Known Member
Apr 8, 2016
608
273
USA
✟34,201.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
It has been literally keeping me up at night. I can’t even sleep anymore because of dreams about hell. I wake up in panic. I can’t even stand to read my Bible or pray anymore. It just gives me extremely intense anxiety. It’s literally all I can think of anymore. How many people are burning in hell right now? Is my family going to hell? Am I going to hell? The OCD about hell has destroyed my love for God and has made me see no value in Christ’s sacrifice. All he did is come to put even more restrictions on us and to tell us basically “few will actually make it to Heaven because you have to be perfect to get there” then after telling us that barely anyone will make it to Heaven and that we will be burning in a torture pit forever with demons torturing us and fire burning us while we are slowly eaten by maggots, he says “oh, by the way, God loves you so love him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength or your going to hell. I see no love in that whatsoever.

Jesus might as well have said “just give up” because he just came to add more rules and make it even harder. That’s what I see. It’s all I can see. I see no beauty in the Gospel anymore. I’ve been brought to tears worrying about hell more times than I can count. God wants us to fear him? He got it. I fear him. But there is no love in my heart for hi. Anymore. Only bitterness and fear and depression. instead of a child, I feel like a dog on a leash. God made it basically impossible to go to Heaven and I’m so depressed that I’m just going through the motions of Christianity anymore with no real heart for God.

Then God tells us to hate our families and love him more than them. How can God possibly expect that of me when he just Got done threatening me with eternal torment. Why would God show me hell if he expected me to love him. I was doing so Good for so long reading about God’s love and I was ready to do the will of God and follow him to the ends of the earth, until he scared me to death with threats of hell. I’m sorry but I just can’t stand God anymore. It hurts too much to keep trying to be a Christian. I can’t stand the feelings of constant Condemnation. How can I love God and fear him at the same time?

I feel nothing but anxiety and depression and bitterness anymore. All of which are sins. But I can’t do anything about them. I’ve tried everything. Devotional, Bible reading, Even prayer. Nothing helps anymore. I feel like a pig in a slaughterhouse, just waiting to go to hell. I’m nowhere even close to being a model Christian. I feel utterly hopeless. I fear God so much now that I can’t stand him anymore. I don’t know what to do now, anymore. I live in constant depression and anxiety now and it’s slowly killing me. I’m doubting everything abou5 God. His love, my faith, even his very existence.

So my question is, Will God understand my mental illness and help me with it. Does God care about how I feel or does he only care about how much I can do for him. It seems like God only cares about how perfect of a person you are. I’ve talked to people about this before and they only made it worse by warning of hell more. I really need help!

Actually, Jesus is saying..."just give up" and give all your burdens to Him. He is the Savior, we cannot save ourselves no matter who we are or what sins or issues we each have. God does understand your mental illness and not only can He help you and guide you, I believe He can use your life for wonderful purposes to bring you satisfaction and to bless others. If you like to read I recommend the link and book below about a young man with plenty of mental issues, his struggles, and the amazing way God has worked in his life.
https://www.amazon.com/Different-St...3375&sr=1-1&keywords=different+sally+clarkson

51eIicfgCsL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg


Musings
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

yeshuaslavejeff

simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Jan 6, 2005
39,944
11,098
okie
✟214,996.00
Faith
Anabaptist
Philippians 4 English Standard Version (ESV)
Exhortation, Encouragement, and Prayer

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.

Let your reasonablenessd]">[d] be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 
Upvote 0

Halbhh

Everything You say is Life to me
Supporter
Mar 17, 2015
17,172
9,191
catholic -- embracing all Christians
✟1,152,592.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Hi everyone. I really need some help. My name is Chance. I have Autism and OCD and Bipolar disorder and a few other things and I think these things have really warped my view of God. Instead of seeing God as loving, I have been seeing him as terrible. I no longer see God as a loving God. I see him as cruel and uncaring. I have been reading things from the Bible more and they have destroyed my love for God. My entire Christian life has begun to fall apart because of it. All I ever read tells us to fear God. He tells us to fear him constantly. Well, I can’t fear and love someone at the same time. It’s just not possible for me. I have certain family members and people in my life that I can’t stand to be around because they scare me. It’s just the way I am. This has severely affected my relationship with God as well.

Ever since I started reading about hell I can’t stand to even think about God. Hell has destroyed my relationship with God. I can’t even read my Bible anymore. I can’t pray. I tremble every time I hear God’s name and I literally hyperventilate to the point where I am close to panic. I get scared even talking about God. I hear God’s name and the onky thought that comes to my mind is “God is coming to get you and send you to hell soon”. It’s all I can think of anymore. Ever since I started reading about hell, I can find almost no love for God anymore. I now see God as a terrifying monster, rather than a loving God. He created billions of people knowing that they would all eventually just be tortured in a burning pit for all eternity with no hope in this world? How is he loving. He could have chosen not to create people that would go to such a place. But he didn’t. He created them all knowing they would be in pain forever. Do you call that love?

It has been literally keeping me up at night. I can’t even sleep anymore because of dreams about hell. I wake up in panic. I can’t even stand to read my Bible or pray anymore. It just gives me extremely intense anxiety. It’s literally all I can think of anymore. How many people are burning in hell right now? Is my family going to hell? Am I going to hell? The OCD about hell has destroyed my love for God and has made me see no value in Christ’s sacrifice. All he did is come to put even more restrictions on us and to tell us basically “few will actually make it to Heaven because you have to be perfect to get there” then after telling us that barely anyone will make it to Heaven and that we will be burning in a torture pit forever with demons torturing us and fire burning us while we are slowly eaten by maggots, he says “oh, by the way, God loves you so love him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength or your going to hell. I see no love in that whatsoever.

Jesus might as well have said “just give up” because he just came to add more rules and make it even harder. That’s what I see. It’s all I can see. I see no beauty in the Gospel anymore. I’ve been brought to tears worrying about hell more times than I can count. God wants us to fear him? He got it. I fear him. But there is no love in my heart for hi. Anymore. Only bitterness and fear and depression. instead of a child, I feel like a dog on a leash. God made it basically impossible to go to Heaven and I’m so depressed that I’m just going through the motions of Christianity anymore with no real heart for God.

Then God tells us to hate our families and love him more than them. How can God possibly expect that of me when he just Got done threatening me with eternal torment. Why would God show me hell if he expected me to love him. I was doing so Good for so long reading about God’s love and I was ready to do the will of God and follow him to the ends of the earth, until he scared me to death with threats of hell. I’m sorry but I just can’t stand God anymore. It hurts too much to keep trying to be a Christian. I can’t stand the feelings of constant Condemnation. How can I love God and fear him at the same time?

I feel nothing but anxiety and depression and bitterness anymore. All of which are sins. But I can’t do anything about them. I’ve tried everything. Devotional, Bible reading, Even prayer. Nothing helps anymore. I feel like a pig in a slaughterhouse, just waiting to go to hell. I’m nowhere even close to being a model Christian. I feel utterly hopeless. I fear God so much now that I can’t stand him anymore. I don’t know what to do now, anymore. I live in constant depression and anxiety now and it’s slowly killing me. I’m doubting everything abou5 God. His love, my faith, even his very existence.

So my question is, Will God understand my mental illness and help me with it. Does God care about how I feel or does he only care about how much I can do for him. It seems like God only cares about how perfect of a person you are. I’ve talked to people about this before and they only made it worse by warning of hell more. I really need help!
Read the Gospels instead! They are first, foremost, central. Then later you can confine yourself to continue in the New Testament, until you read it. But slowly as needed. (And you learn if you pay attention that those without Life simply perish in the second death, and thus cease to exist there... But Christ rescues those who believe, from death, into Life!! Hallelujah!)

Take your time, dwelling on what you read, especially Christ's Words.

Matthew 3 NIV
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

yeshuaslavejeff

simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Jan 6, 2005
39,944
11,098
okie
✟214,996.00
Faith
Anabaptist
That may be best, yet realize that seeking God, He is perfect from Genesis through Revelation , ALWAYS, perfect in AGAPE, perfect in doing RIGHT, perfect in WISDOM,
perfect in JUSTICE, perfect in MERCY , and perfect in JUDGMENT and SALVATION.

i.e. reading GENESIS does NOT show an imperfect nor an unloving God at all, but a perfect God, same as in the NEW TESTAMENT, full of mercy and forgiveness .
 
Upvote 0

GodsGrace101

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Apr 17, 2018
6,713
2,298
Tuscany
✟231,507.00
Country
Italy
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Hi everyone. I really need some help. My name is Chance. I have Autism and OCD and Bipolar disorder and a few other things and I think these things have really warped my view of God. Instead of seeing God as loving, I have been seeing him as terrible. I no longer see God as a loving God. I see him as cruel and uncaring. I have been reading things from the Bible more and they have destroyed my love for God. My entire Christian life has begun to fall apart because of it. All I ever read tells us to fear God. He tells us to fear him constantly. Well, I can’t fear and love someone at the same time. It’s just not possible for me. I have certain family members and people in my life that I can’t stand to be around because they scare me. It’s just the way I am. This has severely affected my relationship with God as well.

Ever since I started reading about hell I can’t stand to even think about God. Hell has destroyed my relationship with God. I can’t even read my Bible anymore. I can’t pray. I tremble every time I hear God’s name and I literally hyperventilate to the point where I am close to panic. I get scared even talking about God. I hear God’s name and the onky thought that comes to my mind is “God is coming to get you and send you to hell soon”. It’s all I can think of anymore. Ever since I started reading about hell, I can find almost no love for God anymore. I now see God as a terrifying monster, rather than a loving God. He created billions of people knowing that they would all eventually just be tortured in a burning pit for all eternity with no hope in this world? How is he loving. He could have chosen not to create people that would go to such a place. But he didn’t. He created them all knowing they would be in pain forever. Do you call that love?

It has been literally keeping me up at night. I can’t even sleep anymore because of dreams about hell. I wake up in panic. I can’t even stand to read my Bible or pray anymore. It just gives me extremely intense anxiety. It’s literally all I can think of anymore. How many people are burning in hell right now? Is my family going to hell? Am I going to hell? The OCD about hell has destroyed my love for God and has made me see no value in Christ’s sacrifice. All he did is come to put even more restrictions on us and to tell us basically “few will actually make it to Heaven because you have to be perfect to get there” then after telling us that barely anyone will make it to Heaven and that we will be burning in a torture pit forever with demons torturing us and fire burning us while we are slowly eaten by maggots, he says “oh, by the way, God loves you so love him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength or your going to hell. I see no love in that whatsoever.

Jesus might as well have said “just give up” because he just came to add more rules and make it even harder. That’s what I see. It’s all I can see. I see no beauty in the Gospel anymore. I’ve been brought to tears worrying about hell more times than I can count. God wants us to fear him? He got it. I fear him. But there is no love in my heart for hi. Anymore. Only bitterness and fear and depression. instead of a child, I feel like a dog on a leash. God made it basically impossible to go to Heaven and I’m so depressed that I’m just going through the motions of Christianity anymore with no real heart for God.

Then God tells us to hate our families and love him more than them. How can God possibly expect that of me when he just Got done threatening me with eternal torment. Why would God show me hell if he expected me to love him. I was doing so Good for so long reading about God’s love and I was ready to do the will of God and follow him to the ends of the earth, until he scared me to death with threats of hell. I’m sorry but I just can’t stand God anymore. It hurts too much to keep trying to be a Christian. I can’t stand the feelings of constant Condemnation. How can I love God and fear him at the same time?

I feel nothing but anxiety and depression and bitterness anymore. All of which are sins. But I can’t do anything about them. I’ve tried everything. Devotional, Bible reading, Even prayer. Nothing helps anymore. I feel like a pig in a slaughterhouse, just waiting to go to hell. I’m nowhere even close to being a model Christian. I feel utterly hopeless. I fear God so much now that I can’t stand him anymore. I don’t know what to do now, anymore. I live in constant depression and anxiety now and it’s slowly killing me. I’m doubting everything abou5 God. His love, my faith, even his very existence.

So my question is, Will God understand my mental illness and help me with it. Does God care about how I feel or does he only care about how much I can do for him. It seems like God only cares about how perfect of a person you are. I’ve talked to people about this before and they only made it worse by warning of hell more. I really need help!
My granddaughter has autism.
She loves Jesus. That's all HE cares about.

God is a loving God.
1 John 4:8

God is a merciful God.
Ephesians 2:4

God is forgiving and Good
Psalm 86:5

If God forgives sinners when they ask and He knows us from before we were born, why wouldn't He understand you and forgive you?

Be happy and rest in His love.
You will surely see Him in the next life.
You must do nothing to please Him but give Him your heart.
Hosea 6:6

When you feel unsure, read the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32

And here's a good prayer for you.
Trust in the Lord, who knew you before you were born.

Help me God to submit myself to Your Holy Spirit to search and know my heart, to test me and see my anxious thoughts. Forgive me of the sin of DOING to gain righteousness instead of standing in the grace and righteousness of Christ and coming before you as the broken man/woman that I am. Have mercy on me Lord Jesus Christ, a sinner saved by Your grace. Help me to live in intimacy with the Holy Spirit so that I am very attuned to the things that break Your heart and may they break mine; help me to be sensitive to the things that give Your heart joy and may I embrace them so that they may be my joy also. In Jesus name. Amen.
 
Upvote 0

yeshuaslavejeff

simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Jan 6, 2005
39,944
11,098
okie
✟214,996.00
Faith
Anabaptist
"Jesus heals" . Everytime someone calls on Him for help, Jesus is there. Not to judge them, but to heal them. ("heal" and "save" I believe are the same meaning in Scripture concerning this).
In the world we live in, we don't see this as often as we can read it in the Bible.
Jesus heals.
We all should look more to Jesus every day, especially as we are in the final hour.
Jesus heals.
When He touches us, or talks to us, it is to heal us, to help us. (not the whole world, but His followers; His disciples given to Him by His Father) Even though His discipline is not comfortable, it is what is needed and what is best for us, all the time, every time, since the Father is Perfect and Complete, Lacking Nothing.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

ToBeLoved

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Jan 3, 2014
18,705
5,790
✟322,365.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
Hi everyone. I really need some help. My name is Chance. I have Autism and OCD and Bipolar disorder and a few other things and I think these things have really warped my view of God. Instead of seeing God as loving, I have been seeing him as terrible. I no longer see God as a loving God. I see him as cruel and uncaring. I have been reading things from the Bible more and they have destroyed my love for God. My entire Christian life has begun to fall apart because of it. All I ever read tells us to fear God. He tells us to fear him constantly. Well, I can’t fear and love someone at the same time. It’s just not possible for me. I have certain family members and people in my life that I can’t stand to be around because they scare me. It’s just the way I am. This has severely affected my relationship with God as well.

Ever since I started reading about hell I can’t stand to even think about God. Hell has destroyed my relationship with God. I can’t even read my Bible anymore. I can’t pray. I tremble every time I hear God’s name and I literally hyperventilate to the point where I am close to panic. I get scared even talking about God. I hear God’s name and the onky thought that comes to my mind is “God is coming to get you and send you to hell soon”. It’s all I can think of anymore. Ever since I started reading about hell, I can find almost no love for God anymore. I now see God as a terrifying monster, rather than a loving God. He created billions of people knowing that they would all eventually just be tortured in a burning pit for all eternity with no hope in this world? How is he loving. He could have chosen not to create people that would go to such a place. But he didn’t. He created them all knowing they would be in pain forever. Do you call that love?

It has been literally keeping me up at night. I can’t even sleep anymore because of dreams about hell. I wake up in panic. I can’t even stand to read my Bible or pray anymore. It just gives me extremely intense anxiety. It’s literally all I can think of anymore. How many people are burning in hell right now? Is my family going to hell? Am I going to hell? The OCD about hell has destroyed my love for God and has made me see no value in Christ’s sacrifice. All he did is come to put even more restrictions on us and to tell us basically “few will actually make it to Heaven because you have to be perfect to get there” then after telling us that barely anyone will make it to Heaven and that we will be burning in a torture pit forever with demons torturing us and fire burning us while we are slowly eaten by maggots, he says “oh, by the way, God loves you so love him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength or your going to hell. I see no love in that whatsoever.

Jesus might as well have said “just give up” because he just came to add more rules and make it even harder. That’s what I see. It’s all I can see. I see no beauty in the Gospel anymore. I’ve been brought to tears worrying about hell more times than I can count. God wants us to fear him? He got it. I fear him. But there is no love in my heart for hi. Anymore. Only bitterness and fear and depression. instead of a child, I feel like a dog on a leash. God made it basically impossible to go to Heaven and I’m so depressed that I’m just going through the motions of Christianity anymore with no real heart for God.

Then God tells us to hate our families and love him more than them. How can God possibly expect that of me when he just Got done threatening me with eternal torment. Why would God show me hell if he expected me to love him. I was doing so Good for so long reading about God’s love and I was ready to do the will of God and follow him to the ends of the earth, until he scared me to death with threats of hell. I’m sorry but I just can’t stand God anymore. It hurts too much to keep trying to be a Christian. I can’t stand the feelings of constant Condemnation. How can I love God and fear him at the same time?

I feel nothing but anxiety and depression and bitterness anymore. All of which are sins. But I can’t do anything about them. I’ve tried everything. Devotional, Bible reading, Even prayer. Nothing helps anymore. I feel like a pig in a slaughterhouse, just waiting to go to hell. I’m nowhere even close to being a model Christian. I feel utterly hopeless. I fear God so much now that I can’t stand him anymore. I don’t know what to do now, anymore. I live in constant depression and anxiety now and it’s slowly killing me. I’m doubting everything abou5 God. His love, my faith, even his very existence.

So my question is, Will God understand my mental illness and help me with it. Does God care about how I feel or does he only care about how much I can do for him. It seems like God only cares about how perfect of a person you are. I’ve talked to people about this before and they only made it worse by warning of hell more. I really need help!
I pray that the Lord fills your heart and mind with peace and love
 
Upvote 0

Job3315

Well-Known Member
Apr 21, 2018
885
729
United States
✟89,540.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Hi everyone. I really need some help. My name is Chance. I have Autism and OCD and Bipolar disorder and a few other things and I think these things have really warped my view of God. Instead of seeing God as loving, I have been seeing him as terrible. I no longer see God as a loving God. I see him as cruel and uncaring. I have been reading things from the Bible more and they have destroyed my love for God. My entire Christian life has begun to fall apart because of it. All I ever read tells us to fear God. He tells us to fear him constantly. Well, I can’t fear and love someone at the same time. It’s just not possible for me. I have certain family members and people in my life that I can’t stand to be around because they scare me. It’s just the way I am. This has severely affected my relationship with God as well.

Ever since I started reading about hell I can’t stand to even think about God. Hell has destroyed my relationship with God. I can’t even read my Bible anymore. I can’t pray. I tremble every time I hear God’s name and I literally hyperventilate to the point where I am close to panic. I get scared even talking about God. I hear God’s name and the onky thought that comes to my mind is “God is coming to get you and send you to hell soon”. It’s all I can think of anymore. Ever since I started reading about hell, I can find almost no love for God anymore. I now see God as a terrifying monster, rather than a loving God. He created billions of people knowing that they would all eventually just be tortured in a burning pit for all eternity with no hope in this world? How is he loving. He could have chosen not to create people that would go to such a place. But he didn’t. He created them all knowing they would be in pain forever. Do you call that love?

It has been literally keeping me up at night. I can’t even sleep anymore because of dreams about hell. I wake up in panic. I can’t even stand to read my Bible or pray anymore. It just gives me extremely intense anxiety. It’s literally all I can think of anymore. How many people are burning in hell right now? Is my family going to hell? Am I going to hell? The OCD about hell has destroyed my love for God and has made me see no value in Christ’s sacrifice. All he did is come to put even more restrictions on us and to tell us basically “few will actually make it to Heaven because you have to be perfect to get there” then after telling us that barely anyone will make it to Heaven and that we will be burning in a torture pit forever with demons torturing us and fire burning us while we are slowly eaten by maggots, he says “oh, by the way, God loves you so love him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength or your going to hell. I see no love in that whatsoever.

Jesus might as well have said “just give up” because he just came to add more rules and make it even harder. That’s what I see. It’s all I can see. I see no beauty in the Gospel anymore. I’ve been brought to tears worrying about hell more times than I can count. God wants us to fear him? He got it. I fear him. But there is no love in my heart for hi. Anymore. Only bitterness and fear and depression. instead of a child, I feel like a dog on a leash. God made it basically impossible to go to Heaven and I’m so depressed that I’m just going through the motions of Christianity anymore with no real heart for God.

Then God tells us to hate our families and love him more than them. How can God possibly expect that of me when he just Got done threatening me with eternal torment. Why would God show me hell if he expected me to love him. I was doing so Good for so long reading about God’s love and I was ready to do the will of God and follow him to the ends of the earth, until he scared me to death with threats of hell. I’m sorry but I just can’t stand God anymore. It hurts too much to keep trying to be a Christian. I can’t stand the feelings of constant Condemnation. How can I love God and fear him at the same time?

I feel nothing but anxiety and depression and bitterness anymore. All of which are sins. But I can’t do anything about them. I’ve tried everything. Devotional, Bible reading, Even prayer. Nothing helps anymore. I feel like a pig in a slaughterhouse, just waiting to go to hell. I’m nowhere even close to being a model Christian. I feel utterly hopeless. I fear God so much now that I can’t stand him anymore. I don’t know what to do now, anymore. I live in constant depression and anxiety now and it’s slowly killing me. I’m doubting everything abou5 God. His love, my faith, even his very existence.

So my question is, Will God understand my mental illness and help me with it. Does God care about how I feel or does he only care about how much I can do for him. It seems like God only cares about how perfect of a person you are. I’ve talked to people about this before and they only made it worse by warning of hell more. I really need help!

Before answering to your entry, were your autism, OCD and bipolar disorders were formally diagnosed by a doctor?
 
Upvote 0

Southernscotty

Well-Known Member
Angels Team
Supporter
Mar 5, 2018
6,616
9,612
52
Arkansas
✟504,848.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Celibate
Dear friend you have confused many scriptures taken them out of context. Let's start with fear of God. God does't mean knee knocking terrifying outright fear, He means reverence and respect and Godly fear is not torment as you state.
There is freedom in being a true christian as Christ came to set us free and save us from going to hell. Jesus didn't come to add more rules. He came to save mankind and by us accepting Him He will save us.

When He says to love Him more than our families, This is only right as the love of God must proceed everything in our lives, but this doesn't mean that you love your family any less than you do.

Hell is there as a place for satan and his followers to be thrown , but unfortunately "unbelieving" people who refuse to accept Jesus throw themselves there by their unbelief.

You need not fear the wrath of God if you are a child of His. He loves His children with a love even greater then you have for your family :]
Are you a child of God?
Do you believe in Him and confess Him?
It sounds as if you do, So you must be hearing satan's lies and deception, he wants to steal your peace and joy and will stop at nothing to make you miserable. Tell old satan to get behind you and move on with your bible reading and see the love that God is and has for you.
He wants you to be happy and to enjoy life here on earth.
If you ever need someone to talk to anytime Chance, Just give me a message. Bless you friend.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Job3315

Well-Known Member
Apr 21, 2018
885
729
United States
✟89,540.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Yes. All diagnosed by doctors.

Ok, thank you for answering.

One time I heard a counselor say that we, as humans, trying to see God is like trying to look at an elephant through a microscope. He is too big. Also, that by our experiences with other people, we have lenses with the grong prescription; we see God based on those experiences.

In my walk with the Lord, I realized the Fear of the Lord is actually respect for Him. If I can love God, I then can love others and love myself. When He says that everyone who doesn't hate their family can’t be His disciple, means that you don’t learn to love God first, you won’t be able to love your family. When I say love, I mean really love others through His lenses/perspective because people can become idols in our lives.

I went through a season just like you. I always kept in mind that it was a season and asked the Lord to help me see. I recognized I was blind. Then I realized I was seeing myself as someone who wasn’t saved. I am a child of God but had the mentality of a pauper. I was redeemed but I thought I was still separated from Him because that's what the devil wants us to believe. The Bible talks about the punishment for those who stand against God, but the Bible also talks about who we are now that we came to Him. Soak yourself in what He says your are now. The battle is in your mind, the devil doesn’t want you to see who you are.

The Bible says God loves us so much, He gave His only son to die for us. If He gave Jesus for the world (that includes you) God surely loves you. Its the world who doesn't see it. You can pray for Him open the eyes of your heart to help you see His truth; that you are a new creation, loved, redeemed and growing from glory to glory.

About autism, OCD and bipolar disorders, I asked because all those disorders are relate to the mind/reasoning. Sometimes mineral and vitamin imbalances like magnesium and Vitamin D can cause similar symptoms. I know of a man who was diagnized with bipolar disorder by a doctor but kept looking into it with a natural doctor and found out he had a vitamin deficiency. He also has the gift of discernment of spirit so he was hearing voices in his head. The mixture of the imbalance and not knowing how to manage the gift of discernment created a bomb, but he made it through. Just saying, keep searching for the truth.
 
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,648
6,107
Massachusetts
✟583,317.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Jesus knows how you feel, and He cares about how all of us feel; so Jesus guarantees us "all" >

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:28-29)
 
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,648
6,107
Massachusetts
✟583,317.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I’ve been brought to tears worrying about hell
Hell is the flaming sewer which burns with fire and brimstone. There is horrible stuff which will go to the flaming sewer which is hell.

Bitterness, selfish anger, unforgiveness, and other spiritually and emotionally cruel stuff is on its way to the flaming sewer, because God loves us dearly and He does not want us to keep on suffering in such stuff.

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

It says to put it away. Do not struggle with it and try to control yourself in spite of it, but get rid of it and live in God's love and joy and peace, instead, in sharing as family with God and one another. With God, we do this.

But if we try to control Satanic and nasty and negative stuff, ourselves, "The things which are impossible with men are possible with God," (in Luke 18:27) Jesus says to encourage us to instead trust and depend on God who is almighty to easily and breezily and beautifully get rid of any and all cruelly hateful stuff of Satan's evil spirit.

All of us have already discovered how mean and cruel and stubborn Satan's stuff is. Many of us have tried and prayed for wrong passions for pleasure to go away and stay away; but that lust stuff is stubborn, isn't it? And we have tried and cried to get free of various emotional and cruel stuff; but it won't let us go. So . . . then . . . how do you control such stubborn stuff?

With fire.

"For our God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12:29)

The fire of hell is practical, then. It will hold Satan and his nasty nonsense away from us!! And now with God who is almighty we can become free of the Satanic stuff of his evil and cruelly hateful spirit > "the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience." (in Ephesians 2:12)

So, yes Jesus our Lord and Savior is the One to give us "rest for your souls" (in Matthew 11:28-30). Complaining and blaming God will not do this, to be sure. Get rid of pride and stubborn and dictatorial lusts and the tormenting fear, so we do not go where that degrading and cruel stuff is going.

"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

Lollypops won't do this. Licking various-colored lollypops might get us to feel some pleasure and relief, maybe for a moment; but we need how God cures our nature so we become immune to Satan's sin-sick stuff. And as we grow in Jesus and go through things, we get more and more immunity, but not only for defending ourselves; but we grow in love as God's family. His love is multi-tasking in us, making us strong against the cruelty of Satan's nasty and negative stuff, while God's love is also bringing us more and more into family sharing with our Heavenly Father and our Groom Jesus in sharing and caring with one another.

So, licking lollypops for pleasure is not wise > while we are weak enough to be licking, we stay weak enough so we are getting devoured by Satan's cruel and negative and nasty nonsense >

"Therefore be sober, be vigilant; for your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." (1 Peter 5:8)

Do not let yourself, then, be devoured by worry and fear and its "torment" >

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)
 
Upvote 0

faroukfarouk

Fading curmudgeon
Apr 29, 2009
35,902
17,177
Canada
✟279,058.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Ok, thank you for answering.

One time I heard a counselor say that we, as humans, trying to see God is like trying to look at an elephant through a microscope. He is too big. Also, that by our experiences with other people, we have lenses with the grong prescription; we see God based on those experiences.

In my walk with the Lord, I realized the Fear of the Lord is actually respect for Him. If I can love God, I then can love others and love myself. When He says that everyone who doesn't hate their family can’t be His disciple, means that you don’t learn to love God first, you won’t be able to love your family. When I say love, I mean really love others through His lenses/perspective because people can become idols in our lives.

I went through a season just like you. I always kept in mind that it was a season and asked the Lord to help me see. I recognized I was blind. Then I realized I was seeing myself as someone who wasn’t saved. I am a child of God but had the mentality of a pauper. I was redeemed but I thought I was still separated from Him because that's what the devil wants us to believe. The Bible talks about the punishment for those who stand against God, but the Bible also talks about who we are now that we came to Him. Soak yourself in what He says your are now. The battle is in your mind, the devil doesn’t want you to see who you are.

The Bible says God loves us so much, He gave His only son to die for us. If He gave Jesus for the world (that includes you) God surely loves you. Its the world who doesn't see it. You can pray for Him open the eyes of your heart to help you see His truth; that you are a new creation, loved, redeemed and growing from glory to glory.

About autism, OCD and bipolar disorders, I asked because all those disorders are relate to the mind/reasoning. Sometimes mineral and vitamin imbalances like magnesium and Vitamin D can cause similar symptoms. I know of a man who was diagnized with bipolar disorder by a doctor but kept looking into it with a natural doctor and found out he had a vitamin deficiency. He also has the gift of discernment of spirit so he was hearing voices in his head. The mixture of the imbalance and not knowing how to manage the gift of discernment created a bomb, but he made it through. Just saying, keep searching for the truth.
Psalm 111 is a great Psalm about the wholesome fear of the Lord. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Job3315
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

George the Intercessor

Active Member
Aug 2, 2018
33
13
24
San Bernardino
✟8,061.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
1st John 4:18
New International Version
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

God loves you more than you know and/or realize. When the Word states "fear of the Lord" it signifies godliness which has nothing to do with fear or anxiety.
Also, love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Take Heed:

Heart: Love the Lord by being intimate with your God.
Soul: Love the Lord by valuing God above anyone, anything, and than yourself.
Mind: Love the Lord by often thinking of God's goodness with delight.
Strength: Love the Lord your God, no matter the circumstance being good or bad.
 
Upvote 0