How can I handle feelings of attraction and romantic desire while seeking God's will

[christiansoccerplayer]

Background:I met this girl while playing in my adult soccer league back on the last Sunday of October. We chatted and joked around a little and I saw her later that day. I did not see her again Nov. 22 where I was able to chat with her a lot more and she was friendly. There is no doubt in my mind that I sincerely like her as more than friends (even though I don’t know here well) and am into her. Not sure if there is mutual interest on her part (she seemed happy that I made effort to come by and talk to her and responded happily when I told her I would look for her again the next time there were games). I just know how I feel and I need at some point to step up, be brave and ask her out in some way.


My question is with all of these fuzzy warm feelings of attraction for her that I feel (feelings I have not had for any woman in a long time) and my hope desires and prayers that we somehow date and start a relationship, how can I discern between these feelings that could be Satan attacking me in a weak spot, being misled by my own feelings or desires, or God/Holy Spirit leading me to pursue something with her given I have a strong desire to date, be in a relationship and get married someday.

thanks for any advice. God bless you

 

[Devin Hammond]

1 Corinthians 7

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

1 Corinthians 7

I've read this passage many times. Any particular part or verse I need to go back and pay attention to. Thanks for replying

 

[Devin Hammond]

First off, you don’t even know if she likes you so it’s a mute point. There were many times I thought that I was in love only to find out later that the relationship didn’t work. Secondly, do you know if this woman is a Christian? We are not to be yoked with unbelievers. Lastly, be sensitive to the Holy Spirit through prayer and fasting to find out if this is God’s will and that may take some time.

 

[Devin Hammond]

I've read this passage many times. Any particular part or verse I need to go back and pay attention to. Thanks for replying

Verse 20 and 27 are interesting; they seem to suggest that a single person should not be seeking a wife.

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

I personally do not consider it a mute point because how will I actually know unless I actually ask her for a date? Do guys ask girls out ONLY when they are sure the girl is interested; I don't feel "in love" yet; I do feel attraction and interest. No, I don't know if she is a Christian or not; I still have to get more acquainted. I fully agree with your third point.

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

Verse 20 and 27 are interesting; they seem to suggest that a single person should not be seeking a wife.

They seem to suggest and not command; Verse 28 says singles who do get married have not sinned, and will face trouble as married couples.

 

[Devin Hammond]

They seem to suggest and not command; Verse 28 says singles who do get married have not sinned, and will face trouble as married couples.

Yep, verse 2 states that, “each man should have his own wife”. It’s not a problem if you do decide to get married just make sure that you seek first the kingdom and that the Lord is your priority in this. So be patient and pray about it and seek the Spirit’s guidance. Give it time and see what develops.

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

Yep, verse 2 states that, “each man should have his own wife”. It’s not a problem if you do decide to get married just make sure that you seek first the kingdom and that the Lord is your priority in this. So be patient and pray about it and seek the Spirit’s guidance. Give it time and see what develops.

I totally agree. Thank you

 

[Devin Hammond]

I personally do not consider it a mute point because how will I actually know unless I actually ask her for a date? Do guys ask girls out ONLY when they are sure the girl is interested; I don't feel "in love" yet; I do feel attraction and interest. No, I don't know if she is a Christian or not; I still have to get more acquainted. I fully agree with your third point.

You need to find out if she is a strong Christian. Marrying a non-Christian would be a disaster.

 

[Greengardener]

I appreciate that you ask this. Having a few decades to look back over, here's what comes to mind. I hope you find it helpful.

Consider whether having the goal of just having a friendship might be a first landing spot. After you have established a general friendship, you have the opportunity to learn about her life and she to learn about yours over the course of time. I'd encourage you NOT to look at "having a relationship" as a goal at the moment. Here's why. If it's the way many people are living (together) nowadays, you frankly live too close to honestly evaluate whether this will work for the long haul. So when you have issues, you face that huge risk of breaking up and then you've lost a good friend. If you work on friendship without the courtship first, you are both safer. If your lifestyles mesh over time, then you two can discuss whether moving into courtship and marriage are the next steps. After marriage, your relationship can really start in safety, because you've built on a solid foundation of respect. I totally agree that you want to make sure that your core values are similar: how you view God and what He requires of you is foremost. There are lots of Christians in name only. I would think you would want to be a solid believer and make sure that she is also.

 

[Brightmoon]

Why is it while reading the OP , that I got the earworm of Sebastian singing , Kiss De Girl . Well in this case just ask her out. The absolute worst answer you can get is , no !

 

[Star Flower]

It is completely natural to feel attraction and romantic desire. There is no shame in that, for every human being was created to grow and multiply. I feel that the best way is to pray with faith and hope to God. He will tell you whether the woman you have feelings for is the right person for you. From what I have heard, it is better to have another catholic/christian as a soulmate.
In conclusion, ask God for help. He is the only one whom can help you.

 

[SANTOSO]

Background:I met this girl while playing in my adult soccer league back on the last Sunday of October. We chatted and joked around a little and I saw her later that day. I did not see her again Nov. 22 where I was able to chat with her a lot more and she was friendly. There is no doubt in my mind that I sincerely like her as more than friends (even though I don’t know here well) and am into her. Not sure if there is mutual interest on her part (she seemed happy that I made effort to come by and talk to her and responded happily when I told her I would look for her again the next time there were games). I just know how I feel and I need at some point to step up, be brave and ask her out in some way.


My question is with all of these fuzzy warm feelings of attraction for her that I feel (feelings I have not had for any woman in a long time) and my hope desires and prayers that we somehow date and start a relationship, how can I discern between these feelings that could be Satan attacking me in a weak spot, being misled by my own feelings or desires, or God/Holy Spirit leading me to pursue something with her given I have a strong desire to date, be in a relationship and get married someday.

thanks for any advice. God bless you

what God’s will have you submit to begin with as you try to pursue this relationship?

How do you consider what is love and self indulgences ? Let God give you that understanding!

Have you evaluated yourself how you love God ? Then evaluate the girl that you like how much she love God.

Eventually, you will understand how she express love. Do she love the things of the world more than God ? Would you be attracted to a person who love the things of the world rather than God ? Then you will know how to evaluate your attraction or intentions based on God’s will.

 

[xaris]

"How can I handle feelings of attraction and romantic desire while seeking God's will?"

...Get married...

 

[Joined2krist]

What are your plans, do you want to ask her out because you're attracted and have warm feelings when you think about her or you want to get married? I think you should start with friendship so that you can know each other better and if you decide to get married afterwards, go ahead.

 

[fm107]

I don't know if she is a Christian or not;

This is the crucial question as you don't want to get emotionally involved only to find out she isn't a christian as once your emotionally involved your desire for her may then eclipse your desire to please God who says 2 Corinthians 6:14.

You both seem to get on quite well, why not ask her if she is a christian? If she says yes, ask her if she'd like to go for a coffee with you (if she agrees that is a good indication she is at least a little interested in you) and find out more about her beliefs. Is she simply a professing christian? A nominal christian? Or is she born-again and living her life in the Lord's will? Profession of faith is a good start but don't settle for just that as many have professed Christ and have turned out to be false. Try to find out if she has a proper understanding of the gospel, how did she get saved? These will help you gauge whether she is a genuine christian.

Now even if this person is a christian, that is not the only perquisite to christian marriage. You need to get the Lord's mind on which Christian woman he has in mind for you. This requires prayer.

Lastly, you could add her on social media. Social media accounts often tell quite a lot about a person and one can often gauge from that whether they are a christian. This may be a better idea for you if your shy.

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

I do want to develop a friendship (I feel one has already started, we just are not all that acquainted yet) and esp. be able to see what kind of Christian walk she has, if any, ; even I have to risk already considered as “friends only” but I thought, I know I like her so why just ask her out and see if she would give me a chance instead of screwing around trying to be friends first (as I already stated, I do want to develop a friendship first) She might actually feel the same way (I hope); plus there is the chance some other guy who is lot more confident than I am could beat me to the punch while I’m getting to know her as a friend. I realize that might seem a little silly but oh well. I do plan on more interaction on social media but after we have talked a little more in person.
Thanks for the feedback and I continue to pray about this.
God bless ya’ll

 

[UnpopularOpinion]

Background:I met this girl while playing in my adult soccer league back on the last Sunday of October. We chatted and joked around a little and I saw her later that day. I did not see her again Nov. 22 where I was able to chat with her a lot more and she was friendly. There is no doubt in my mind that I sincerely like her as more than friends (even though I don’t know here well) and am into her. Not sure if there is mutual interest on her part (she seemed happy that I made effort to come by and talk to her and responded happily when I told her I would look for her again the next time there were games). I just know how I feel and I need at some point to step up, be brave and ask her out in some way.


My question is with all of these fuzzy warm feelings of attraction for her that I feel (feelings I have not had for any woman in a long time) and my hope desires and prayers that we somehow date and start a relationship, how can I discern between these feelings that could be Satan attacking me in a weak spot, being misled by my own feelings or desires, or God/Holy Spirit leading me to pursue something with her given I have a strong desire to date, be in a relationship and get married someday.

thanks for any advice. God bless you

Literally you ought to get wife and it's God's will , first commandment in Bible was to multiply.
If God wanted something different that He alredy said he would tell you like he told Jeremiah.

But we are told by Paul to not marry unbelievers , best if she was Christian.

 

[bèlla]

Tone down the emotional stuff. You’re attracted to her but you don’t know who she is. Take the time to get acquainted first. Discover her character and where she stands with God before your emotions get the better of you. It will be difficult to discern if you’re carried away.

Yours in His Service,

~bella