How can I get past this?

[sunshineforJesus]

First of all I'd like to say Thanks so much for all of your
support and friendship here. I am doing alot better than I was first joining.
However there is one thing I'm stuck in and cannot seem to get over.
It seems as if I cannot seem to quit getting down on myself,especially when others are talking about things they are doing really well in.I don't think I'm a jealous person but maybe that is.Does anyone have any ideas?

 

[sunshineforJesus]

no advice for me huh?

 

[NamelessHero]

I'm not really good at giving advice, but I hope I will help.
Just don't let it get to you. If someone is bragging, use it as an excuse to be better at whatever that is. That's what I have to do to avoid getting jealous.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Thanks and I will try my best to.

 

[Saucy]

Well do you have anything you really love to do that you're good in?

I kinda feel the same about my novel. It has so many awesome reviews on Amazon, but they're mostly from strangers. No one on Facebook except my mom has shared my book information, no one has bought it...I've had NO support whatsoever. It makes me think no one really cares. But I don't write for them really. I write for myself. It gives me enjoyment and fulfills me.

So you should try to learn do things for yourself. I'm at the point in my life where I'm realizing that if I keep trying to do things to get the approval of others, then I'll never be happy, because you'll never make everyone happy. It will NEVER happen. Just do what you love.

And when others share the good things in their life, they worked very hard to get there. I spent years working on my novel. Try to be more supportive instead of jealous.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Thanks so much and you are right.Interestingly enough
my pastor was talking about jealousy tonight,and it convicted me.
I could so relate to what he was saying about how people see others being
praised and think what about me? I need to get past this,to be happy with my abilities.
I love reading,and writing,and am really good with kids. I'm proud of you for writing a book.Good job.Whats the name of it?

 

[ZooKeeper944]

What do you find satisfaction in?

1.God's glory.
2.Praise of self giftings, abilities, accomplishments, etc.

One is an endless source of delight.
The other is not.

 

[Saucy]

It's called "The Girl Named Red".

 

[sunshineforJesus]

What do you find satisfaction in?

1.God's glory.
2.Praise of self giftings, abilities, accomplishments, etc.

One is an endless source of delight.
The other is not.

I find delight in Gods glory,
but struggle with comparing myself to
others thinking they are better than me.

I know its wrong but it really is hard for me to get past it.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

It's called "The Girl Named Red".

Cool.Perhaps I will check it out.

 

[graciesings]

I have already told you what I think but I'll say it again.

there is no magic pill for this problem.

The best thing you can do is quit focusing on yourself and how you feel and your own faults and keep yourself busy focusing on what you can do for God and other people. That will help you get past it because you're making yourself focus...

on what needs done in the world

NOT your own failings or weaknesses.

Trust me, I have struggled with the same thing - just in different ways.

 

[ZooKeeper944]

I find delight in Gods glory,
but struggle with comparing myself to
others thinking they are better than me.

I know its wrong but it really is hard for me to get past it.

Yeah my little series of statements looks easy intellectually.
Putting into practice is another thing.

Know you're not alone.
The struggle to find satisfaction in God and not in self is a battle for all.
Through Jesus this battle can be won bit by bit.
Hang in there.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I have already told you what I think but I'll say it again.

there is no magic pill for this problem.

The best thing you can do is quit focusing on yourself and how you feel and your own faults and keep yourself busy focusing on what you can do for God and other people. That will help you get past it because you're making yourself focus...

on what needs done in the world

NOT your own failings or weaknesses.

Trust me, I have struggled with the same thing - just in different ways.

Thanks so much and God bless you.I will really try my best to keep focusing
on God and helping others. I am seeing more and more how I need to change this,and know with Gods help I can. Thanks for your help.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Yeah my little series of statements looks easy intellectually.
Putting into practice is another thing.

Know you're not alone.
The struggle to find satisfaction in God and not in self is a battle for all.
Through Jesus this battle can be won bit by bit.
Hang in there.

Thanks so much,and I am going to really start praying about this.
I know hearing the pastor speak about this tonight after it was already on my mind is no cooincidence,Gods trying to get through to me and I need to let him.

 

[Goodbook]

Well, when the disciples were asking Jesus about John and comparing themselves I think it was Peter, Jesus simply said what is it to you, follow thou me..

In other words, don't worry about other people, we all have our own unique walks with Jesus. And I think worldly things like praise and success are not important..what matters is our reward in heaven. Coveting what others have is not good, and also remember Jesus saves everyone the same, entrance into heaven, and rewards us according to our character, no what material or career success we accomplished here on earth.

 

[DorkiusMaximus]

I try to look at life like this..

Someone might have a basket full of goodies I don't quite have - skills, looks, wealth, etc. But in my basket, I have stuff they don't have. And I cherish what I have. Maybe we have an easier situation, a more stable/sane job, maybe we have a good family, etc.

Terrible example but this quote really sticks out to me -

“The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.”

 

[parsley]

Revelation 12:10

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, "Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night.
​

If the devil is brave enough to present our flaws to God, then he must have quite a collection. But God's terms for our salvation were redemption, not perfection.

So Satan can accuse all he wants, act like a sibling that continually whines how things are not fair, and try to trip us up. But our Heavenly Father does not budge in how He plans to treat us.

If we buy into the standard of deserving righteousness -- whether before God or in our daily lives with people -- then we will always be held to that standard, and stir it up in the people around us. Friends will become more critical because we have been critical.

We condemn ourselves when we don't live up to our own expectations. It's painful to work hard with good intents, and have obstacles that trip us up and make us look worse. But these obstacles will never end; that is life.

We need to learn how to operate on a different plane, letting go of the perfectionism and walking in a faith-based gait.

 

[TheDag]

Thanks so much,and I am going to really start praying about this.
I know hearing the pastor speak about this tonight after it was already on my mind is no cooincidence, Gods trying to get through to me and I need to let him.

ok so what was the main thing that challenged you from that sermon which you are going to try to change. Just one thing and I will do my best to remember to come back and ask you how its going in a couple of weeks time.

 

[TheDag]

Wish I could identify what made the difference for me. Having a twin brother who did very well academically while I struggled. So naturally there were a lot of comparisons. At one stage I accepted that I was my own person and I didn't have to be like him and if people didn't want to accept me for who I am thats fine.

More recently while I have been struggling with depression and controlling those negative thoughts I have found a couple of things that helped.
First of all I volunteered. Since I was looking for work I had too much time alone with my thoughts. By volunteering it forced me to think about how I could help others rather than dwelling on my problems. Of course I was also working on the issues as well but sometimes you need a break.
Second thing that helped (suggested by counseller) was when I was having very negative thoughts usually at night while trying to sleep then I would say out loud "Now is not the time for these thoughts". Something about saying it out loud helps get the message through!
Perhaps one or both of those might help.

 

[Maranatha27]

I struggle with the same thing, some call it an inferiority complex, low self-esteem ect. I need to start my day out in the Word or I trip all over myself for the rest of the day. People that struggle with this need to find the right balance of love for self and a love for the others you are interacting with. If you believe in Jesus and recieved the Holy Spirit, you are a child of the Living God and that is something very precious. The world will not acknowledge it, they will laugh you to scorn. There is no higher calling.

Goodbooks scripture qoute is a great way to put in proper perspective these negitive feeling when dealing with fellow believers.