How can I forgive?

[faith2019]

How can I forgive others and stop being angry? How do I give my problems to The Lord? This is the biggest obstacle in me developing a relationship with him. It is so hard to let go. I try to but then the thoughts of what happened always come back and I get angry or upset.

 

[topher694]

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. It is not about them, it's about you. Forgiveness is saying, "I don't need anything from them" and "I'm not going to let what they did have power over me anymore". Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

That being said, it takes time for our feelings to begin to line up with our choice to forgive. So every time you feel angry or upset, remind yourself that you have chosen to forgive. Stick with it and you'll begin so see things change.

 

[crossnote]

How can I forgive others and stop being angry? How do I give my problems to The Lord? This is the biggest obstacle in me developing a relationship with him. It is so hard to let go. I try to but then the thoughts of what happened always come back and I get angry or upset.

Go back and ponder how deep was the pit that our Lord rescued you from, through His shed blood, forgiving ALL your iniquities.

 

[anna ~ grace]

How can I forgive others and stop being angry? How do I give my problems to The Lord? This is the biggest obstacle in me developing a relationship with him. It is so hard to let go. I try to but then the thoughts of what happened always come back and I get angry or upset.

I struggle with this, too. What helps me, is seeing forgiveness as a journey rather than a one-time choice. Because feelings of disgust, anger, and sadness do still well up. When they do, and I notice it, I immediately pray for them instead, and keep going. This helps me.

Remembering how deeply Christ loves them in spite of what they did helps, too. And forcing myself to remember that I am no better than them, even though my anger or hurt are telling me I'm better.

 

[Guojing]

How can I forgive others and stop being angry? How do I give my problems to The Lord? This is the biggest obstacle in me developing a relationship with him. It is so hard to let go. I try to but then the thoughts of what happened always come back and I get angry or upset.

Recognize that, when you forgive others, you are the main beneficiary of that action, not others.

 

[tturt]

."... let not the sun go down upon your wrath:" Eph 4:16. That means daily we asks our heavenly father to help us forgive anyone we need to forgive and asks Him to bless them Matt 5:44.

Know it is not easy but it's a standard for us which we can only do with His overwhelming help

As toph694 said it does get easier with persistence

 

[ajcarey]

God's judgment and justice are absolutely perfect. Biblical forgiveness in the sense you're speaking of is committing vengeance to God so you can be released from something that is not in your jurisdiction to even make right; and so you can do that which is your duty towards God and others. With that said, if whatever happened to you was a crime against the State also and the statute of limitations has not run out concerning that crime, then DO contact law enforcement. They are ministers of God to take vengeance on criminals who harm the public and this is 100 percent compatible with Biblical forgiveness, because the vengeance you're seeking in that case would be in line with God's authority and promoting the good and safety of others.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

No offense to any of the other folks who responded, but in my opinion there is no strategy or practice or thought process that can help you learn to forgive others. We, as broken people, don’t choose God and we don’t choose obedience (romans 3). However, we have an advocate in Jesus Christ who continually intercedes on our behalf, loves us and he desires us to draw near to him. The word commands that we forgive, but this is impossible for >us<. Only the Holy Spirit can heal your pain! So pray! Pray hard, pray for hours, pray for the people or person who hurt you. Daily, minute by minute, pray before you get angry, pray and ask God to teach you how to pray when you get angry, Pray in groups, agonize over your anger and bitterness and bet our Heavenly Father to remove this from your heart!!!! I promise you that if you seek the lord with your whole heart and ask him to remove this burden he will. I can promise this because the word of God promises this!
13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
John 14:13-14 I’m praying now for this for you!
Jeremiah

 

[carp614]

Lacking forgiveness, I found that I was putting myself above the people I needed to forgive. I was prioritizing my own pain over them and over God's Will. Perpetuating and indulging my anger had the affect of searing my conscience.

At a certain point, the Lord revealed to me the magnitude of his sacrifice for me. I would not have articulated it this way at the time. I didn't understand what was happening then. But once the Lord helped me to see how undeserving of forgiveness I was, it became easier for me to work on the process of forgiving those deep hurts. The easing of difficulty did not come from guilt. It came from gratitude.

Hope this helps in some way.

 

[Tolworth John]

How can I forgive others and stop being angry? How do I give my problems to The Lord? This is the biggest obstacle in me developing a relationship with him. It is so hard to let go. I try to but then the thoughts of what happened always come back and I get angry or upset.

Who says you have to forgive them?

Have you ever read Luke 17:3+4
The requirement is to talk to an offender and on there repentance forgive. If there is no repentance there is no forgiveness.
This is the pattern laid down in the OT and that is followed in every reference in the NT that talks about forgiveness.

If they do not repent then you commit the whole situation, your feelings, them, everything over to God. You copy Jesuse who while being crucified commended his murfers to God asking God to forgive them.
You do the same.

 

[dqhall]

From Christ’s Sermon on the Mount:

Matthew 5:38 WEB “You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' 39 But I tell you, don't resist him who is evil; but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 If anyone sues you to take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. 41 Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and don't turn away him who desires to borrow from you.

43 “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Don't even the tax collectors do the same? 47 If you only greet your friends, what more do you do than others? Don't even the tax collectors do the same? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

 

[Al Touthentop]

How can I forgive others and stop being angry? How do I give my problems to The Lord? This is the biggest obstacle in me developing a relationship with him. It is so hard to let go. I try to but then the thoughts of what happened always come back and I get angry or upset.

Your first step is accomplished. You realize that your unforgiveness is more harmful to you than those who you can't forgive.

Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting it to affect the other person. When you dwell on past events, you are reliving them. This causes your own body to experience the adrenaline, the pain and the discomfort of what you went through when the event first happened. It is self-torture. One of the reasons we forgive and forget is to stop reliving the past. God directed us to forgive others for our own benefit as well as the other person. He also said that the answering of prayer is dependent on your forgiveness. You can stop dwelling on the past. If it weren't possible, then God wouldn't have commanded it.

It's not often easy to forgive. Sometimes it means that we have to take responsibility for the situations that have occurred in the past and realize we had as much a part to play in them as did those who took advantage of us. That doesn't mean we blame ourselves necessarily. But we often put ourselves in bad situations without realizing it. So, our job is to learn from these things while keeping our love for others intact.

 

[splish- splash]

How can I forgive others and stop being angry? How do I give my problems to The Lord? This is the biggest obstacle in me developing a relationship with him. It is so hard to let go. I try to but then the thoughts of what happened always come back and I get angry or upset.

When I first came to the Lord about 3 years ago, it was so so hard for me as I didn't know what to say to Him. I then thought to myself, hang on a minute, someone once advised me to read psalms 139 which explains how well The Lord knows me. I then begun by talking to Him as a friend, I'ld tell him if I was sad or happy, even if I wasn't feeling like praying on any particular day, I'ld still tell Him. This is how my relationship with the Lord actually started growing because in a strange way, I was growing fond and becoming attached
, just by conversing with Him everyday. Mind you! He knows how we feel, think and function. He already knows if we are going to argue with our friends on the following day or not. May the spirit of the Lord continue working in your life so that your thoughts/actions will conform to His will. Stay Blessed.

 

[KeeperOfMemories]

I don't know your situation, but is this one of not being able to forgive someone, or is this about someone who keeps wronging you again and again? Normally, when someone wrongs you, you're going to feel angry, and that's fine. It's how you handle it that's important. Lying to yourself and saying you're not angry is not healthy.

Are you in an unhealthy relationship? Do you have a friend who keeps taking advantage of you? (you don't have to answer here, but just something to ask yourself).

Wanting to get revenge on someone or "even the score" is going to destroy you. But forgiving someone doesn't mean that you don't set boundaries. Setting boundaries does not mean you're not forgiving someone--you aren't doing it to even the score. You are doing it to protect yourself from a person who keeps hurting you and refuses to acknowledge that they are.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Go back and ponder how deep was the pit that our Lord rescued you from, through His shed blood, forgiving ALL your iniquities.

This is so true.How can you not forgive the worst in others when Jesus has forgiven you so much?