how can i ever be forgiven

LittleMissTickle · Nov 13, 2006

if it is said that you should not kill another, and i know abortion is wrong...i never have agreed with it for what ever the reason but i was talked into having a termination from a partner who promised me everything when he were settled in the US i had left my abusive partner and were trying to begin a new life he showed me what love really was about until i caught pregnant and then he talked me into a termination (which as i were having the procedure done confirmed twins) he didnt want to have children as he werent ready....i didnt want to lose him and he used everything against me...i had 3 children already how would i cope with 2 more, i were in a hostel as i hadn't been housed yet, i had moved away from all my family and friends and was going to have no one, even tho i were away from my husband he used the fact that he used to beat,rape and mentally abuse me against me too, and that he could either kill me or at very least kill the babies that i were carrying,so that was our only option i had no one to talk to, i felt bullied into the decision that he had made and he made all the arrangements and paid for it all so i felt like i had no choice...and told me when the time was right and he got me and the kids out there with him "WE WOULD DO IT PROPERLY"
it is my origional due date tomorrow and it's killing me inside i hate myself for what i have done...who am i to have made the choice to be talked into a private termination i am not god i didn't have the right to take those helpless beings out of my womb where i were supposed to be protecting them and keeping them safe...i have only just went back to the church to refind god once more...and slowly i'm starting to feel whole again
but how can i be forgiven for the terrible sin that i committed, when i will never ever forgive myself?

Saeph · Nov 13, 2006

God is love and forgiveness - remember that!

Only he knows why you've made that decision and what struggles you may had. You rue this, and this is to your credit, because most women don't even think about the abortion after they've done it.

You're able to regret what has happened, and this shows that your soul is still pure. Otherwise you wouldn't even recognize the whole thing as a sin.

With God's help, you will make it!

Tpolg · Nov 13, 2006

Every one of us is a sinner; we are all equally guilty before God. But if we come to Him, in true repentance, He will pardon us. We don’t need any excuses; they will only get in the way. Just ask Him to have mercy on you. Remember, He loves your children more then you can, and that is how much he loves you as well. He wants you to come home to Him.

Myfanwy · Nov 15, 2006

LittleMissTickle said:
but how can i be forgiven for the terrible sin that i committed, when i will never ever forgive myself?

Don't worry. It will get easier with time. Some things are just not meant to be. Your circumstances, at that time, were extremely difficult. Also, the father of your twins was not exactly supportive. It was more his responsibility than yours because he pressurized you, knowing how vulnerable you were. You were homeless and already had three children. He coerced you into doing it. It seems to me that it was mainly his fault.

I am sure that God will forgive you, knowing how difficult your situation was.

What gestational age were the twins?

chris777 · Nov 29, 2006

Gods word only calls one sin unforgivable.
It is not what you have done.

As for forgiving yourself ,that is between you and God.
I have commited some terrible sins, I am still working them out with Fear and trembling. I don't want to forget what I have done, at least not until we have all been changed, and made whole, and sinless by God. To forget, now could endanger me of repeating my sins, something I never want to do.
God will not give us more than we can endure, I know your anguish must be terrible, but all you can do is focus on Jesus, He is the only one who can help you. I will pray for you, I know what you have done, has made you feel terrible, but your anguish, and repentance, have at least shown me, that some peoples hearts are not stone, as I was beginning to fear. One thing the pain does, is remind you of your love for your children. We have all failed our kids, in some way or another, I was selfish and now my daughter has to love with the pain I have caused her every day, Yet throught it all she still loves me, and Forgives me, as well as her mother. Remember When God asked abraham to sacrifice issac, abraham was ready, because he believed in the ressurection, of the dead. Remember that with your children.
He is able to bring them back. Do not loose hope of that, what has happened is horrible, but all you can do now is seek Christ. Again I am sorry for your loss, and heartbroken at your situation, and I will pray for you sister.

Gwenyfur · Feb 21, 2007

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

That's Y'shua's promise to us....He forgives our sins when we confess...

The harder part ... is forgiving ourselves.

If you need to talk, my PM box is always open...no judgement, and a friendly ear...

Yody · Mar 5, 2007

Myfanwy said:
Don't worry. It will get easier with time. Some things are just not meant to be. Your circumstances, at that time, were extremely difficult. Also, the father of your twins was not exactly supportive. It was more his responsibility than yours because he pressurized you, knowing how vulnerable you were. You were homeless and already had three children. He coerced you into doing it. It seems to me that it was mainly his fault.

I am sure that God will forgive you, knowing how difficult your situation was.

What gestational age were the twins?

Dont make excuses for her

I am simpathetic we are all responsible for our own actions and short of a gun to the head noone is forcing you to do anything

(sorry for the harshness if this hurt the OP)

Just remember God is your father and while you may be unfaithful to him he will always be faithful to you

He loved you before knowing that you would sin and he will love you still

catwoman2 · Mar 9, 2007

Remember 1 John 1:9 and whenever you wonder how you can be forgiven, look to the cross and remember that all your sins, including this one was with Jesus on the cross. When you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins, our Heavenly Father looks at you through Jesus His Son and so you are perfect in His eyes.

arizonasunset · Mar 10, 2007

When in my first marriage, I too suffered in an abusive relationship, which brought about an abortion because I believed in the promises given to me by my abusive husband. With in eleven years of our marriage, like yourself, I suffered greatly at the hand of this man. Upon the birth of my second child, my mother passed away and I began to attend Christian counceling for the intense amount of grief I was dealing with. The church had a wonderful woman who was a lay councelor and the Lord gave her enough discernment to explain and councel me through Battered Wife Syndrom. As I became stronger in Christ and earnestly sought to be like Him, my husband became worse and more abusive, yet through the darkest moments I knew God was with me. The Lord, after three years, then moved me into a new church and there blessed me with some certified Christian councelors. As the councelor unraveled my horrific past, I was encouraged to go through the steps of deliverance. When it was revealed that I had had an abortion, I was ashamed and terrified of the reaction from those who had been so loving and helpful to me. It was at this time that those who gathered around me for support and prayer realized that I had not forgiven myself for the act I had done. Knowing that once we ask forgiveness from Christ it is no longer an issue with Him, but to forgive ourselves is a much deeper obstacle. So these group of people prayed that I would be given the grace and mercy recieved from Christ when I asked forgiveness for the sin to be given to myself so that I could release the wedge that it was creating in my relationship with the Lord. Then they took specific steps to take back the ground the enemy had hanging over me for years concerning the act I had committed. I remember going home, and I was so ill and I cried for at least two weeks; a deeper cry than I had ever cried before. Then some time later the Lord spoke to me through Scripture and let me know he had that child with Him and we would meet again. Shortly after that I was invited to audition for a play that the church was putting together named, Tilly. Oddly enough after the performance a great number of women came forward admitting they too had committed the sin of abortion. The following month the pastor and elders decided to have a special service for all the unborn children, that were now with the Lord, for the women who had never forgiven themselves for the act they committed. This may not be a very big help to you and I certainly don't mean to sound preachy. But I understand the struggle you are dealing with. I pray that God will supply you with the grace and mercy He has given for forgiveness so that you can have forgiveness for yourself. I encourage you to seek a solid, grounded Christian to help you through this time or a Christian councelor who is certified, or a church that has a Stephen's Ministry. May the Lord shine His face upon you and bless you for your honesty and heart to love and serve Him. My story is not a happy ending story either. For the pastor, elders, and councelors of the church attempted to get my ex-husband to come in for counceling. I spent a year in marriage counceling by myself. I then decided it was in the best interest of me and my two children to dissolve the marriage. Because my ex-husband would stalk me everytime we agreed to seperation until counceling was completed I left the state and moved in with family. When I left I felt I had committed yet another horrible sin that could never be forgiven. I am so grateful that the Lord does not see things the way we do.

~RENEE~ · Mar 13, 2007

Gwenyfur said:
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

That's Y'shua's promise to us....He forgives our sins when we confess...

The harder part ... is forgiving ourselves.

Dvorah27 · Mar 19, 2007

LittleMissTickle said:
if it is said that you should not kill another, and i know abortion is wrong...i never have agreed with it for what ever the reason but i was talked into having a termination from a partner who promised me everything when he were settled in the US i had left my abusive partner and were trying to begin a new life he showed me what love really was about until i caught pregnant and then he talked me into a termination (which as i were having the procedure done confirmed twins) he didnt want to have children as he werent ready....i didnt want to lose him and he used everything against me...i had 3 children already how would i cope with 2 more, i were in a hostel as i hadn't been housed yet, i had moved away from all my family and friends and was going to have no one, even tho i were away from my husband he used the fact that he used to beat,rape and mentally abuse me against me too, and that he could either kill me or at very least kill the babies that i were carrying,so that was our only option i had no one to talk to, i felt bullied into the decision that he had made and he made all the arrangements and paid for it all so i felt like i had no choice...and told me when the time was right and he got me and the kids out there with him "WE WOULD DO IT PROPERLY"
it is my origional due date tomorrow and it's killing me inside i hate myself for what i have done...who am i to have made the choice to be talked into a private termination i am not god i didn't have the right to take those helpless beings out of my womb where i were supposed to be protecting them and keeping them safe...i have only just went back to the church to refind god once more...and slowly i'm starting to feel whole again
but how can i be forgiven for the terrible sin that i committed, when i will never ever forgive myself?

Have you ever read the book, the hiding place ? Its not about what you're describing, its about the holocaust, but the author says something that is so profound. (the author was Corrie TenBoom - not sure I spelled it correctly) She said, "There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still."
Yes, what you did was a terrible sin, but you have to believe that nothing is impossible for God. He created all that ever was, all that is, and all that shall ever be. He can forgive you your sins. He promises that when we seek his forgiveness that he removes our sin as far as the east is from the west.
If you have truly repented & asked for his forgiveness, then friend, you ARE forgiven. Things like this take time. Its still fresh to you, but as time goes by you will heal from it.
I hope that I have been of some help to you.

LittleladyinChrist · Mar 31, 2007

Hi,
This has touched my heart. About two months before I became born again I had an abortion at 20 weeks of pregnancy. I was a single mother who could not afford to have another child by another man. This is not an excuse. I tell you, I know without a shadow of a doubt that Christ paid for all my sins and yours on calvary, Praise the Lord O my soul and all that is within me. Nobody else can take this guilt away but him. I tell you it hurts even more after you are saved because you know that God could have helped you through it, and you have the knowledge of God about the beauty of children even unborne. Im sorry for your loss, but please trust God, and not yourself. Yes you are a vile sinner who has taken a childs life, and so am i, but thank God he died, was brutally killed, the chastisement of our peace was upon him. Either you are lying about Gods forgiveness or God is lying about his endless mercy for us. Paul (Saul) killed Christians and he wrote 70% of the new testament. David killed a man to steal his wife, he wrote the book of Psalms. Surely God will forgive you, as he's forgiven me. Take it to the cross and give it to Him.

Hismessenger · Apr 2, 2007

We have already been forgiven, Littleladyinchrist.
Your sins were forgiven you before you ever drew a breath and now in your realization He is calling you to Himself. That is what this season is all about. Jesus died for the sins of the whole world and if you accept and believe this your sins are forgiven and He will empower you to walk according to his will. Jesus died for you and me. We have been forgiven and by his stripes we are healed in the spirit for the flesh profits nothing.

hismessenger

LittleladyinChrist · Apr 2, 2007

thats what i said

LittleladyinChrist · Apr 4, 2007

Hismessenger said:
We have already been forgiven, Littleladyinchrist.
Your sins were forgiven you before you ever drew a breath and now in your realization He is calling you to Himself. That is what this season is all about. Jesus died for the sins of the whole world and if you accept and believe this your sins are forgiven and He will empower you to walk according to his will. Jesus died for you and me. We have been forgiven and by his stripes we are healed in the spirit for the flesh profits nothing.

hismessenger

what exactly were you trying to say here anyway?

Itani · Apr 5, 2007

God works in ways we cannot see. Things happen to us for a reason. But repent and you will be saved. Turn to Christ and you will be loved. Look to God and you will find answers. For God will go with you wherever you go and take heart, for you, my sister, will be forgiven from your sins.

Jesus has a message for you:

"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."
Matthew 6:14

Jesus loves you!

bennyk · Jun 1, 2007

I once heard a preacher say something along the lines of,

"If you think you can't be forgiven, then you're saying what Jesus did for us wasn't enough. There is *NOTHING you can do, that God can't forgive you for if you believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead."

I have experienced what I think was exactly what you are going through. It may not be as extreme, it may be more extreme, it may not be anything like your situation, but I will tell you that I felt horrible. I cried, I could barely sleep, and I had to force-feed myself (could hardly eat) for days.

One prayer I said over and over again was "if I am truly forgiven Lord, give me peace and have me know that I am forgiven." Because if you don't know you are truly forgiven, the Lord will let you know that you are. He will bring peace of mind to you.

*blasphemy against the Spirit is unforgivable; however, there is basically no situation where you can't turn back to God to be forgiven and saved

RMDY · Jun 4, 2007

LittleMissTickle said:
if it is said that you should not kill another, and i know abortion is wrong...i never have agreed with it for what ever the reason but i was talked into having a termination from a partner who promised me everything when he were settled in the US i had left my abusive partner and were trying to begin a new life he showed me what love really was about until i caught pregnant and then he talked me into a termination (which as i were having the procedure done confirmed twins) he didnt want to have children as he werent ready....i didnt want to lose him and he used everything against me...i had 3 children already how would i cope with 2 more, i were in a hostel as i hadn't been housed yet, i had moved away from all my family and friends and was going to have no one, even tho i were away from my husband he used the fact that he used to beat,rape and mentally abuse me against me too, and that he could either kill me or at very least kill the babies that i were carrying,so that was our only option i had no one to talk to, i felt bullied into the decision that he had made and he made all the arrangements and paid for it all so i felt like i had no choice...and told me when the time was right and he got me and the kids out there with him "WE WOULD DO IT PROPERLY"
it is my origional due date tomorrow and it's killing me inside i hate myself for what i have done...who am i to have made the choice to be talked into a private termination i am not god i didn't have the right to take those helpless beings out of my womb where i were supposed to be protecting them and keeping them safe...i have only just went back to the church to refind god once more...and slowly i'm starting to feel whole again
but how can i be forgiven for the terrible sin that i committed, when i will never ever forgive myself?

God can forgive all sins as long as you don't blasphame the Holy Spirit.

iannassah · Jun 18, 2007

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
says the LORD,
thoughts of peace and not of evil,
to give you a future and a hope..."
Jeremiah 29:11

"Then Jesus said,
"Father,
forgive them,
for they do not know what they do."
Luke 23:34

"He Himself has said,
"I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5

IamRedeemed · Jun 18, 2007

Dear LittleMissTickle,

God is drawn to a contrite heart. He knows your circumstance and knows all that happened. He knew before you did it that the enemy was going to overcome you. I, too committed the same sin. I was a teenager and mother of two at the time. Married and divorced by the time I was 18 with two children. (he was an alcoholic abuser)
The world lied! They said it was just a blob of tissue! I believed them. I think I wanted to believe them, because I knew in my heart that this wasn't right! I have never ever revealed this to anyone in a forum before, but I know that the things that the Lord takes us through need to be used for His glory, because what the enemy uses to try to destroy us, is what God will take and change into something good for them that love Him. Your letter is the first one I have ever read that compelled me to tell my story.
I believe for me to keep my mouth shut about what I did and not share it with you would be a sin.

Every now and then, especially with all of the graphic information available today, I cry my eyes out for what I have done. I realize that all of these years later, satan is just trying to remind me, and condemn me for that which I have already been forgiven for, but I haven't forgotten how sorry I am, and I would never do it again no matter what.

How do I know I am forgiven?

Because the Word says that if we sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, and that if we will confess our sin to Him, He is FAITHFUL and JUST to forgive us of our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

My heart is really going out to you right now. Some people can say they know how you feel as a kind gesture, but no one truly knows how you feel unless they have walked in your shoes. I have been there, and the Lord did not forsake me, and He will not forsake you either. He is faithful.

Just run to the throne of grace. Throw yourself at the feet of Jesus (bring lots of tissue!) and just pour out your heart. The Lord will forgive you and you need to call it what it is, and then take steps to forgive yourself, which is probably harder than going to the Lord for forgiveness...at least it was for me and as I said now with the graphic information, I actually had to go through a grieving process again, but it helped me to do that I believe, and also reminds me of how I felt so that I am able to minister to others who are feeling that way, like yourself right now. We must never forget the mire that the Lord has pulled us out of along the way. He is so good and so worthy to be praised and what He did for me, He will surely do for you, if you will just ask Him.

God bless you. I am here for you. If you want to PM me or want prayer... whatever I can do for you to help you get through this, please don't hesitate.
I am already praying for you. You will in no way be cast out...just run to the throne of grace and tell the Lord and find mercy waiting in abundance for you.

LittleMissTickle said:
if it is said that you should not kill another, and i know abortion is wrong...i never have agreed with it for what ever the reason but i was talked into having a termination from a partner who promised me everything when he were settled in the US i had left my abusive partner and were trying to begin a new life he showed me what love really was about until i caught pregnant and then he talked me into a termination (which as i were having the procedure done confirmed twins) he didnt want to have children as he werent ready....i didnt want to lose him and he used everything against me...i had 3 children already how would i cope with 2 more, i were in a hostel as i hadn't been housed yet, i had moved away from all my family and friends and was going to have no one, even tho i were away from my husband he used the fact that he used to beat,rape and mentally abuse me against me too, and that he could either kill me or at very least kill the babies that i were carrying,so that was our only option i had no one to talk to, i felt bullied into the decision that he had made and he made all the arrangements and paid for it all so i felt like i had no choice...and told me when the time was right and he got me and the kids out there with him "WE WOULD DO IT PROPERLY"
it is my origional due date tomorrow and it's killing me inside i hate myself for what i have done...who am i to have made the choice to be talked into a private termination i am not god i didn't have the right to take those helpless beings out of my womb where i were supposed to be protecting them and keeping them safe...i have only just went back to the church to refind god once more...and slowly i'm starting to feel whole again
but how can i be forgiven for the terrible sin that i committed, when i will never ever forgive myself?

how can i ever be forgiven

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