Hopeless spiritual crisis

[com7fy8]

I am very tired of this fruitless life

You are asking about this in this Christian Forums place, where we will give you scriptural answers.

The Bible says we will reap what we sow. How we are, when we die, can be greatly reaped so much moreso after we no longer have our bodies. So, it is wise to trust God to prepare us to die well.

And I am not talking about Satan. There are people who have God and Satan mixed up. Satan is the one who fails people. Jesus is the Lord of all, He's got it all. And Jesus already proved Himself, by leaving Heaven itself, in order to reach us and share with us and heal and correct us. So, Jesus is not conceited.

And Jesus suffered like He did, for you and for me; so yes Jesus is interested in us, if He suffered with hope for any of us, like He did.

But evil has power to mess people up so they actually blame Jesus, when it is Satan who is "the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience" (Ephesians 2:2) and has people not depending on God . . . actually making themselves the judge of God!

And if I am not fooled by this, certainly God is smarter than I am so He is not going to be fooled.

Satan is the one who accuses and blames and has people giving up on God. His nasty and negative and numbskulling feelings and emotions and ideas can work so hard but get what is not love; so I would not trust any thinking and stinking which is not bringing you to real love with God and for any and all people. Those anti-love emotions and feelings and conclusions can seem so convincing, but they do not love you. God is the only One who can give us peace; what we do and try can not. So we need God.

 

[HisWay2016]

When we go wrong Satan has openings to attack, and Satan knows the bible, uses it as a weapon.
Leaving atheism made you a big enemy of satan.

Remember how good you felt? You didn't feel that as an atheist.

I hesitated to tell you this. Not every voice is God speaking.
Popes are chosen from within, from long time, high ranking
Ppl who were priests.
You had to 'test the voice'.. Pray for evidence bcuz what you got
isn't how succession works'.
How well do you know the NT? Doing what it says?

How much do you know about Jesus?

Your post showed feelings, not knowledge, not grounding.

Then Satan can attack, try to punish and destroy you.

Hello all,

My name is Sinan Shamun, 21 years old and I come from the Netherlands.
In December 2015 I was very depressed and was looking for a cause to live for. I never understood who I was and what the hell I was doing here in the first place. Then suddenly, in February 2016 I felt amazing, I was full of love,joy, creativity and basically all positive things imaginable. I was killing it at my job and it felt as if I was in heaven every moment of the day. Then in March, during the communion of my little sister I found my faith in God, it was a great happening and I finally understood life after being an atheist for 20 years. I learned that it was the Holy Spirit which was dwelling in me at the time. I was constantly communicating with Jesus as if he were my best friend, and I loved it. As time passed I became very introspective and got to know my relation to God even better.
Then the great day came, God told me that I was the complete package to become a Roman Catholic Pope, me out of all people, after all those years. (I assume this happened to the current Pope when he was my age and suddenly switched from a Chemistry major to pursuing his path to become the Pope). I then learned that I had to spread my wings and fly away, become a total new person, find new Christian friends and live a holy life. At first I was totally flabbergasted by all of this. I decided to sign up for my Theology major in Utrecht at a Catholic school and was so grateful for being given a cause in life.
Then,unfortunately, all things went downhill. I realized that becoming a Catholic Pastor meant not being able to have sex and a wife and all other worldy pleasures, so I started avoiding God. Avoiding reading the Bible I bought and continuing a sinful life (smoking, using drugs, etc) after all that God had done for me. I became less and less full of positive energy and my connection with God was decaying and decaying. I showed up at the meeting day prior to starting my Theology major when I was totally unprepared, I had not become the person God wanted me to become and I just sat there with the other students looking like a complete fool, not knowing what to say. I left the meeting day by just running away from the other students and I went home.
Eventually, my thinking reached a point where I had sudden realization which totally destroyed God for me. I convinced myself that God is an all between the ears thing and that I don't own it anymore. It was gone, totally evaporated. I even remember cussing at the Holy Spirit for leaving me after I had failed God in a shameful way and I am actually 100% sure that I have committed the unforgivable sin, since I am not genuinely worried about committing it anymore. My heart wants to know nothing about God but my mind knows God is everything I need, but I have screwed up. I can't blame God for all that has happened, I was even warned prior to me finding out I was elected to become a Pope. God told me to 'choose wisely' and he warned me of a curse. It was all or nothing for me and it sure as hell turned out to be nothing and my destination will be hell for sure.
I had such a beautiful life ahead but all my stupid 20 year old self could think of was sex at the moment, instead of being able to help many souls including those of my friends, who weren't Christians either. My mind has become corrupt and worthless because I lost God and my introspectivity has reached so far that I have basically committed spiritual dialysis. I'm stuck with a mind that thinks about useless goalless garbage all day long. I spent months in a mental ward, taking medicine because the psychiatrists believed I was deluded and got myself into a psychosis. After all those months of medicine and super long tedious days it turned out that they were wrong and that my spiritual experience was from God. I have nothing now, all joy, love, personality and everything positive have evaporated into absolute nothingnes. 7 months of hell have passed and no progress was made. Many prayers have been prayed but all of them were in vain. I was helped by spiritual healers and therapists but nothing worked.

I have no idea what to do and am really feeling the urge to throw the towel in the ring because this life is terrible. A clinical depression is an ecstacy trip compared to what I'm going through and I'd cut off my limbs were it that I'd get my mental and emotional state back to 'normal' again. I am seriously considering to end it all and just accept my fate, which is probably hell. I'd take physical pain of flames over this mental numbness any day.

Has anyone heard of a story similar to mine and/or does anyone have any tips for me? Can anyone confirm that I should just accept my fate since there is nothing I can do about all of this? I read my bible while in the mental ward but it got me nowhere. No revelations or real understanding.

Thank you.

 

[Open Heart]

The escitalopram, as I had already expected, did not work at all. I'm using it for 2 months now and don't see anything change. I am very tired of this fruitless life and I am sure that I am going to end my life after this year, if this [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] goes on. Can't believe any God could allow a situation like mine and I know for sure that I won't bother praying or reading my Bible anymore.

Depression is a LIAR. It tells us all sorts of things that aren't true, like "This will last forever." It tells you and me that God doesn't exist. When the depression lifts, we roll our eyes at what we were thinking. The only time I doubt the existence of God is when I'm clinically depressed. HANG IN THERE.

I know pain. I've been there in the darkest place, where I feel completely abandoned. But when I come out, I look back and see that God was caring for me the whole time I went through it. God does not tell us why He allows suffering. But we know he suffers with us. He cries every tear with us. He suffered so much for us that he died.

Don't give up on the meds. It's trial and error and trial and error and trial and error. Somewhere out there is a combination of meds that will work for you. It's just a matter of time before your doctors find it.

 

[HisWay2016]

Hello all,

My name is Sinan Shamun, 21 years old and I come from the Netherlands.
In December 2015 I was very depressed and was looking for a cause to live for. I never understood who I was and what the hell I was doing here in the first place. Then suddenly, in February 2016 I felt amazing, I was full of love,joy, creativity and basically all positive things imaginable. I was killing it at my job and it felt as if I was in heaven every moment of the day. Then in March, during the communion of my little sister I found my faith in God, it was a great happening and I finally understood life after being an atheist for 20 years. I learned that it was the Holy Spirit which was dwelling in me at the time. I was constantly communicating with Jesus as if he were my best friend, and I loved it. As time passed I became very introspective and got to know my relation to God even better.
Then the great day came, God told me that I was the complete package to become a Roman Catholic Pope, me out of all people, after all those years. (I assume this happened to the current Pope when he was my age and suddenly switched from a Chemistry major to pursuing his path to become the Pope). I then learned that I had to spread my wings and fly away, become a total new person, find new Christian friends and live a holy life. At first I was totally flabbergasted by all of this. I decided to sign up for my Theology major in Utrecht at a Catholic school and was so grateful for being given a cause in life.
Then,unfortunately, all things went downhill. I realized that becoming a Catholic Pastor meant not being able to have sex and a wife and all other worldy pleasures, so I started avoiding God. Avoiding reading the Bible I bought and continuing a sinful life (smoking, using drugs, etc) after all that God had done for me. I became less and less full of positive energy and my connection with God was decaying and decaying. I showed up at the meeting day prior to starting my Theology major when I was totally unprepared, I had not become the person God wanted me to become and I just sat there with the other students looking like a complete fool, not knowing what to say. I left the meeting day by just running away from the other students and I went home.
Eventually, my thinking reached a point where I had sudden realization which totally destroyed God for me. I convinced myself that God is an all between the ears thing and that I don't own it anymore. It was gone, totally evaporated. I even remember cussing at the Holy Spirit for leaving me after I had failed God in a shameful way and I am actually 100% sure that I have committed the unforgivable sin, since I am not genuinely worried about committing it anymore. My heart wants to know nothing about God but my mind knows God is everything I need, but I have screwed up. I can't blame God for all that has happened, I was even warned prior to me finding out I was elected to become a Pope. God told me to 'choose wisely' and he warned me of a curse. It was all or nothing for me and it sure as hell turned out to be nothing and my destination will be hell for sure.
I had such a beautiful life ahead but all my stupid 20 year old self could think of was sex at the moment, instead of being able to help many souls including those of my friends, who weren't Christians either. My mind has become corrupt and worthless because I lost God and my introspectivity has reached so far that I have basically committed spiritual dialysis. I'm stuck with a mind that thinks about useless goalless garbage all day long. I spent months in a mental ward, taking medicine because the psychiatrists believed I was deluded and got myself into a psychosis. After all those months of medicine and super long tedious days it turned out that they were wrong and that my spiritual experience was from God. I have nothing now, all joy, love, personality and everything positive have evaporated into absolute nothingnes. 7 months of hell have passed and no progress was made. Many prayers have been prayed but all of them were in vain. I was helped by spiritual healers and therapists but nothing worked.

I have no idea what to do and am really feeling the urge to throw the towel in the ring because this life is terrible. A clinical depression is an ecstacy trip compared to what I'm going through and I'd cut off my limbs were it that I'd get my mental and emotional state back to 'normal' again. I am seriously considering to end it all and just accept my fate, which is probably hell. I'd take physical pain of flames over this mental numbness any day.

Has anyone heard of a story similar to mine and/or does anyone have any tips for me? Can anyone confirm that I should just accept my fate since there is nothing I can do about all of this? I read my bible while in the mental ward but it got me nowhere. No revelations or real understanding.

Thank you.

Hi.....You've WON AGAIN, and somehow endured. I'm so glad.
I sure went through awful times....never encountered anything so BLACK.
You've heard of 'black outs'? These were black outs while I was awake,
aware of the GREAT NOTHING....and totally FROZEN, incapable.
God healed me. I was told people DIED from quitting the meds,
I quit ....was on a long time. Got better....but....WAIT....it was
slow, gradual, many years. But I could SEE, FEEL the improvements.
I met God, and KNEW God would heal me....God did.
God will heal you. I pray you can endure the pain.
Much love through Jesus Christ

 

[com7fy8]

prayer for you

 

[Galnaros]

It would be easy, hurtful to tell you what happened. Not fair to you.
What an attack...no!!!..Attacks on you. Satan won. Set you up.
You loved your life in the Spirit. There's tough and Tough...and ToUgh
Mine is tough and I WAS where you are. Healed...but...still?
Residue. How horrible is it? Is it 24/7?
Mine is not awful, not 24/7.
Any relief ever?
Every 2 days for me, JOY occurs.

Every day 24/7 is conscious torment. I have gone inside myself so bad that it's making me crazy every single time I have a thought,since the thought is only me examining something and basically stating the obvious. All my thoughts are useless, fruitless and not necessary at all. I feel so lost and alone and really can't get any relief from all of this. How do I return into the Spirit? Is there a way to reconnect to God consciousness again?

 

[Tomm]

well the truth is Jesus church is not actually the catholic church.

Jesus' Church is RCC
The true Church of Christ must be one in unity and doctrine*
The true Church ought to be resplendent with miracles**
The true Church of Christ must be universal
The true Church must be ancient***
The true Church of Christ must be perpetual
"That thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it"
(Source: www.protestanterrors.com)

* how many denominations are there in Protestantism?
** Lourdes water is 1 of the many miracles
***Protestant churches are very new in comparison

 

[com7fy8]

Is there a way to reconnect to God consciousness again?

Make sure you have trusted in Jesus > Ephesians 1:12, 1 Corinthians 6:17, Acts 26:18.

Hebrews 12:4-11 > we need to actively seek howsoever our Father desires to correct us, and this brings His love's "peaceable fruit of righteousness".

And Jesus calls to "all" >

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.'" (Matthew 11:28)

And you seem to be saying you have been laboring and laden; so you qualify for the welfare of God's mercy . . . like we all do. This is what God wants; so it is unwise to think up and consider other possibilities.

 

[Tomm]

OP it seems to me you werent actually born again or saved. Yes you had a spiritual experience but were led astray by catholicism.

What do you mean led astray by Catholicism?

• How many denominations are there in Protestantism? 1 in unity or 30000?
• How come there are so many miracles in RCC* but not in Protestant churches?
  
• When did Protestantism started? AD33 or AD1517?
  
• When did the complete Bible appear, AD33 or AD397? Does this tell you something in regard to 'Sola Scriptura'?
  
• When was the printing press invented, AD33 or AD1450s? Does this tell you something in regard to 'Sola Scriptura'?

* E.g. Lourdes water, the miraculous healing of Maria Scorcia attributed to Saint Pius X, the miraculous healing of Kathleen Evans attributed to Saint Mary Mackillop, etc.

 

[Galnaros]

Is there really no one that knows what happened to me and how to solve this problem? I started this thread in January and things have still not changed.

 

[DeerGlow]

Hello all,

My name is Sinan Shamun, 21 years old and I come from the Netherlands.
In December 2015 I was very depressed and was looking for a cause to live for. I never understood who I was and what the hell I was doing here in the first place. Then suddenly, in February 2016 I felt amazing, I was full of love,joy, creativity and basically all positive things imaginable. I was killing it at my job and it felt as if I was in heaven every moment of the day. Then in March, during the communion of my little sister I found my faith in God, it was a great happening and I finally understood life after being an atheist for 20 years. I learned that it was the Holy Spirit which was dwelling in me at the time. I was constantly communicating with Jesus as if he were my best friend, and I loved it. As time passed I became very introspective and got to know my relation to God even better.
Then the great day came, God told me that I was the complete package to become a Roman Catholic Pope, me out of all people, after all those years. (I assume this happened to the current Pope when he was my age and suddenly switched from a Chemistry major to pursuing his path to become the Pope). I then learned that I had to spread my wings and fly away, become a total new person, find new Christian friends and live a holy life. At first I was totally flabbergasted by all of this. I decided to sign up for my Theology major in Utrecht at a Catholic school and was so grateful for being given a cause in life.
Then,unfortunately, all things went downhill. I realized that becoming a Catholic Pastor meant not being able to have sex and a wife and all other worldy pleasures, so I started avoiding God. Avoiding reading the Bible I bought and continuing a sinful life (smoking, using drugs, etc) after all that God had done for me. I became less and less full of positive energy and my connection with God was decaying and decaying. I showed up at the meeting day prior to starting my Theology major when I was totally unprepared, I had not become the person God wanted me to become and I just sat there with the other students looking like a complete fool, not knowing what to say. I left the meeting day by just running away from the other students and I went home.
Eventually, my thinking reached a point where I had sudden realization which totally destroyed God for me. I convinced myself that God is an all between the ears thing and that I don't own it anymore. It was gone, totally evaporated. I even remember cussing at the Holy Spirit for leaving me after I had failed God in a shameful way and I am actually 100% sure that I have committed the unforgivable sin, since I am not genuinely worried about committing it anymore. My heart wants to know nothing about God but my mind knows God is everything I need, but I have screwed up. I can't blame God for all that has happened, I was even warned prior to me finding out I was elected to become a Pope. God told me to 'choose wisely' and he warned me of a curse. It was all or nothing for me and it sure as hell turned out to be nothing and my destination will be hell for sure.
I had such a beautiful life ahead but all my stupid 20 year old self could think of was sex at the moment, instead of being able to help many souls including those of my friends, who weren't Christians either. My mind has become corrupt and worthless because I lost God and my introspectivity has reached so far that I have basically committed spiritual dialysis. I'm stuck with a mind that thinks about useless goalless garbage all day long. I spent months in a mental ward, taking medicine because the psychiatrists believed I was deluded and got myself into a psychosis. After all those months of medicine and super long tedious days it turned out that they were wrong and that my spiritual experience was from God. I have nothing now, all joy, love, personality and everything positive have evaporated into absolute nothingnes. 7 months of hell have passed and no progress was made. Many prayers have been prayed but all of them were in vain. I was helped by spiritual healers and therapists but nothing worked.

I have no idea what to do and am really feeling the urge to throw the towel in the ring because this life is terrible. A clinical depression is an ecstacy trip compared to what I'm going through and I'd cut off my limbs were it that I'd get my mental and emotional state back to 'normal' again. I am seriously considering to end it all and just accept my fate, which is probably hell. I'd take physical pain of flames over this mental numbness any day.

Has anyone heard of a story similar to mine and/or does anyone have any tips for me? Can anyone confirm that I should just accept my fate since there is nothing I can do about all of this? I read my bible while in the mental ward but it got me nowhere. No revelations or real understanding.

Thank you.

I had to go back and refresh myself on the beginning of this thread. I'm quoting to move this one to the last page.

 

[DeerGlow]

.

 

[food4thought]

----------------REPOST FROM SEVERAL MONTHS AGO---------------------

Galnaros said: ↑
Hey Mike, thanks for your reply.
I am sorry about your difficult times in life.

We all go through varying degrees of difficulties in life, and I thank you for your concern.

You asked me how Jesus communicated with me. Well, when I was awakened in the church during the communion of my little sister, I became very introspective. I began to learn a lot about myself and my relation to God. I recall times where I was actually having conversations in my mind with Jesus. In this higher state of consciousness I was in, some events just struck me as if they were organised by God. So many events were just perfectly timed and basically fitted into my own personal story. Things like me taking up books as a toddler and chanting from them as if I were a priest, and my last name 'Shamun' translating into Simon, as in Saint Simon Peter and me being born exactly 9 months after valentine's day to spread love in this world and many more things which I can't remember which convinced me that I was elected to become a Pope. The Holy Spirit guided me through this process and everytime I found out more about my calling, I felt this huge burst of love coming from the Holy Spirit. I am so so so sure that this was from God and not some evil spirit.

Only you know for sure whether you have received Jesus as your Lord and Savior. I am understandably, I hope, skeptical of the idea of God calling you to be Pope at such a young age, but since you are convinced it was from God there is nothing I can say against it.

My spiritual counselor was a priest who worked in the psychiatric unit. He believed my story and did not say that it couldn't have been God's work and no one will be able to convince me that it wasn't from God.

I am glad to hear that you were receiving spiritual guidance.

About the suicidal thoughts: I am not really having suicidal thoughts per sé. It's just that my
mind is totally messed up now, like I'm stuck in a vague limbo with an undescribable way of thinking, really mind numbing and soul torturing. I am not depressed and I'm not having negative thoughts so that's not leading to me thinking I could better kill myself. I am still seeking psychiatric help, but there's nothing they can treat me for. It turned out I did not have a drug related psychosis , I am not bipolar or schizophrenic, I am not depressed. What I'm experiencing is the curse I was warned for when my awakening started and I know that it can't be done. Hell, I did not even post my OP because I thought I could be helped, and my heart has become so darkened that I'm not genuinely looking for God anymore. I know I have forsaken God and that my chances to reconcile are gone and I know I can't take this much longer. I don't even wanna live for a God that let's people suffer in this way. If I were in America I would have shot myself a long time ago already.

I am very sorry for your suffering. I can relate in some way to it, as I have lived with a defective mind for some time now, yet I have to take exception to you giving up hope that you can be reconciled to God. Jesus does not make mistakes, and if you believe that He called you to be Pope someday, then all that you are experiencing is preparation for that... don't despair, even though I know from experience that it is extremely easy to do so when there seems to be no end to your struggles and no way out. My struggles took me to the pit of despair for years, and it took me close to 4 years to recover to where I am today, and I am still regaining lost ground. But my life is pointed in the right direction again, and I am here to tell you that God is NOT through with you. He will not let you go once you are truly His:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
(Romans 8:28-30 NIV)

Notice that Paul is saying that God foreknew you, predestined you, called you, justified you, and will glorify you when you go to be with Him. All of these things are written, in the Greek, as though they HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED, and now look at this passage:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:38-39 NIV)

Are you a created thing? If so, then Paul just said that you CANNOT separate yourself from the love of God once He has placed it upon you. You, sir, are trapped . But it is actually in a good way.

You see, either you must accept that God still loves you and all that you are going through will eventually work for your ultimate good, or you must accept that you were never really saved and all that stuff that you experienced was only in your head. Either way, there IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU.

Just ponder that for a while. God loves you, has always loved you, and will never stop loving you. Stop fighting Him, and humble yourself under His hand, even if it means you must suffer for a season.

I truly hope this helps.
Mike

 

[HisWay2016]

Is there really no one that knows what happened to me and how to solve this problem? I started this thread in January and things have still not changed.

 

[HisWay2016]

Until you admit you don't know the bible, and find a Christian not RC church to teach you, you'll be attacked. Then you can see if it's right for you.

 

[Vicomte13]

Is there really no one that knows what happened to me and how to solve this problem? I started this thread in January and things have still not changed.

I have some thoughts about it, yes, which I can share with you if you would like to chat via PM.

 

[Galnaros]

I have some thoughts about it, yes, which I can share with you if you would like to chat via PM.

I would like to hear your thoughts about this matter but I don't know how to send you a PM

 

[Galnaros]

I really can't get a grip on this God of ours. He basically forced me to do something, which ofcourse is a great honor, because many people don't even get to experience divinity and die clueless,but why should I be punished so hard for not doing what he wants me to do? Am I not free to do whatever I want to do as long as it's not bad for other people? Why does He leave me to suffer in under these hellish conditions, isn't He a God of love and mercy? As far as I know He is nothing more than a God of torturing people who don't obey Him. I am really close to ending my life, because He clearly doesn't want me to enjoy life and give me another chance at it.
I started to believe that heaven and hell are just states of mind and not places we go after we die. I've experienced heaven on earth and have been cast into hell shortly after it, because I didn't want to do what God requested me to do.
I'll take the gamble and just end my life, because 1 year of praying and begging for mercy obviously hasn't done anything for me.

My mind is a huge mess

 

[Gabriel Anton]

I really can't get a grip on this God of ours. He basically forced me to do something, which ofcourse is a great honor, because many people don't even get to experience divinity and die clueless,but why should I be punished so hard for not doing what he wants me to do? Am I not free to do whatever I want to do as long as it's not bad for other people? Why does He leave me to suffer in under these hellish conditions, isn't He a God of love and mercy? As far as I know He is nothing more than a God of torturing people who don't obey Him. I am really close to ending my life, because He clearly doesn't want me to enjoy life and give me another chance at it.
I started to believe that heaven and hell are just states of mind and not places we go after we die. I've experienced heaven on earth and have been cast into hell shortly after it, because I didn't want to do what God requested me to do.
I'll take the gamble and just end my life, because 1 year of praying and begging for mercy obviously hasn't done anything for me.

My mind is a huge mess

Peace be with you.

God is extremely Merciful.

God Loves you so Much.

Try out all the advice which were given to you on this thread.

You also have to take responsibility for your own actions and not blame God when things go south.

You are a Special Creation created by God to love and to bless all of us and God.

What is the point of ending your life on Earth?

It will end eventually one day, there is no need to take a short cut.

Just go with the flow.

When God wants to meet you face to face, He will arrange it.

Stay Positive, Galnaros.

I'll keep you in my prayers, Dear Precious Soul of God.

Come to these threads:

Guide us Home Lord Jesus - Lots of Music and Good Encouragement from Amazing Preachers of God. Come and Join in, Galnaros.

Welcome To This Forum! - Lots of Warm Welcome Everyday almost. Come and Join in, Galnaros.

God bless you.

 

[Galnaros]

Thanks for your reply.

God is extremely Merciful? I've been begging for mercy and peace of mind for a year now and not even single drop of mercy has been spilled on me. I don't blame God for messing me up. He was the one that got me out of my depression in the first place and then offered me the tools (creativity,love,happiness) to become a Pope. Yes, I refused his offer because I didn't want to give up on sex and I know that it's extremely selfish of me, but why would He let me rot in this terrible condition for a year already. I just can't come to terms with a God that treats His people like this.

What is the point of ending your life on earth?
What is the point of living a life as a mentally screwed up zombie-like human? I am basically dead already.

Peace be with you.

God is extremely Merciful.

God Loves you so Much.

Try out all the advice which were given to you on this thread.

You also have to take responsibility for your own actions and not blame God when things go south.

You are a Special Creation created by God to love and to bless all of us and God.

What is the point of ending your life on Earth?

It will end eventually one day, there is no need to take a short cut.

Just go with the flow.

When God wants to meet you face to face, He will arrange it.

Stay Positive, Galnaros.

I'll keep you in my prayers, Dear Precious Soul of God.

Come to these threads:

Guide us Home Lord Jesus - Lots of Music and Good Encouragement from Amazing Preachers of God. Come and Join in, Galnaros.

Welcome To This Forum! - Lots of Warm Welcome Everyday almost. Come and Join in, Galnaros.

God bless you.