Hope during Separation

[Shnn18]

Hello,

I have been with my husband for 21 years, and we have four beautiful children. Our marriage has stalled the last couple of years and we became more like roommates, rather than husband and wife. In April, my husband had an affair and decided to leave. He has not filed for divorce, but he is staying with his sister. I believe he is continuing with his affair. I'm doing my best to cope and trust in God. It's so hard at times. I want nothing more than for my marriage to be saved and it's hard to see that when we are not even speaking right now. Has anyone's marriage made it through a separation? Any advice on what I can do during this time?

Thanks!

 

[A_Thinker]

Hello,

I have been with my husband for 21 years, and we have four beautiful children. Our marriage has stalled the last couple of years and we became more like roommates, rather than husband and wife. In April, my husband had an affair and decided to leave. He has not filed for divorce, but he is staying with his sister. I believe he is continuing with his affair. I'm doing my best to cope and trust in God. It's so hard at times. I want nothing more than for my marriage to be saved and it's hard to see that when we are not even speaking right now. Has anyone's marriage made it through a separation? Any advice on what I can do during this time?

Thanks!

Pray ... continue to serve God ... take care of your children.

If your marriage is meant to be saved, ... God will save it.

I know of couples who have come back together again after separation ...

 

[Tolworth John]

Any advice on what I can do during this time?

I'm very sorry you are going through this aweful experience.

The first thing I would suggest is to get legal advice and so ensure that you have documented/recorded everything.
If it comes to a divorce you need to be prepared.

Now get help and support from your church, if he is attending your church or at some other church the ministers should challenge him over his behaviour.

Your minister and elders should be seeking to get him to meet and talk about his behaviour.

 

[Dave L]

I'm very sorry you are going through this aweful experience.

The first thing I would suggest is to get legal advice and so ensure that you have documented/recorded everything.
If it comes to a divorce you need to be prepared.

Now get help and support from your church, if he is attending your church or at some other church the ministers should challenge him over his behaviour.

Your minister and elders should be seeking to get him to meet and talk about his behaviour.

This might be good advise for some, but if you trust God to heal your marriage, you won't need these symbols of doubt and defeat. Have faith instead.

 

[Christsfreeservant]

Hello,

I have been with my husband for 21 years, and we have four beautiful children. Our marriage has stalled the last couple of years and we became more like roommates, rather than husband and wife. In April, my husband had an affair and decided to leave. He has not filed for divorce, but he is staying with his sister. I believe he is continuing with his affair. I'm doing my best to cope and trust in God. It's so hard at times. I want nothing more than for my marriage to be saved and it's hard to see that when we are not even speaking right now. Has anyone's marriage made it through a separation? Any advice on what I can do during this time?

Thanks!

My husband and I have been married for nearly 46 years. We have 4 beautiful children, too, but they are all grown with children of their own, i.e. we also have 14 beautiful grandchildren and 4 children-in-law. And, we have a very broken relationship.

Long history of lust addiction on his part, with which I joined him for a time, many years ago, but from which God delivered me, but he continued in. There have been affairs, inappropriate contentography addiction, addiction to masturbation, lies, deception, manipulations, etc. But, we are still together, because he says he still wants to be married to me, and I believe the Lord has encouraged me to remain with him and to keep believing God for his deliverance.

So, although we are not separated, not yet anyway, I understand the whole idea of living more like roommates rather than as husband and wife. We have been there a long while. And, I totally understand adultery, lies, etc., too. So, I empathize with you greatly! I feel your pain.

What I can advise is that you stay connected to the Lord, that you seek his counsel in this, and that you not give up hope for your husband. Just keep trusting the Lord, keep following him and his will for your life, lead your children to follow him, too, by how you live and by what you say, and keep forgiving your husband and keep praying for him.

I have a blog on the subject of healing for wounded hearts. Here is the link, in case you might be interested in reading it: https://walkingwounded.blog/. Our story is on there.

 

[Dave L]

Hello,

I have been with my husband for 21 years, and we have four beautiful children. Our marriage has stalled the last couple of years and we became more like roommates, rather than husband and wife. In April, my husband had an affair and decided to leave. He has not filed for divorce, but he is staying with his sister. I believe he is continuing with his affair. I'm doing my best to cope and trust in God. It's so hard at times. I want nothing more than for my marriage to be saved and it's hard to see that when we are not even speaking right now. Has anyone's marriage made it through a separation? Any advice on what I can do during this time?

Thanks!

I've been married 48+ years and sometimes we need to take our eyes off of the situation and focus on the Lord. Walk by faith instead of sight. God hates divorce and loves forgiveness. So you know you can ask for healing in your marriage and look for it to happen. Find faith in your heart and trust God to work out the details. Most marriages have their ups and downs. And he could be going through what most men go through at the time of life.

 

[Tolworth John]

This might be good advise for some, but if you trust God to heal your marriage, you won't need these symbols of doubt and defeat. Have faith instead.

I'm a believer in trust God and keep your powder dry.

or prepare for the worst and expect the best.

 

[Dave L]

I'm a believer in trust God and keep your powder dry.

or prepare for the worst and expect the best.

Preparing for the worst = zero faith in God.

 

[cfyahoo08]

I'm very sorry you are going through this aweful experience.

The first thing I would suggest is to get legal advice and so ensure that you have documented/recorded everything.
If it comes to a divorce you need to be prepared.

Now get help and support from your church, if he is attending your church or at some other church the ministers should challenge him over his behaviour.

Your minister and elders should be seeking to get him to meet and talk about his behaviour.

Really the first thing you should do if you want God involved is to pray, pray often, thank God for all he has given you and seek for that which he wants for you and your husband, divine guidance is much more important than "legal" counsel. look at the condition of much around us if you need or want examples of what "legal" counsel has or can do for us. Talk to your husband, if he is willing go on dates with him and try and fix it.

 

[Tolworth John]

Preparing for the worst = zero faith in God.

And do you apply that to things like life and health insurance?

 

[Dave L]

And do you apply that to things like life and health insurance?

The government forces people to carry this.

 

[Tolworth John]

Really the first thing you should do if you want God involved is to pray, pray often, thank God for all he has given you and seek for that which he wants for you and your husband, divine guidance is much more important than "legal" counsel. look at the condition of much around us if you need or want examples of what "legal" counsel has or can do for us. Talk to your husband, if he is willing go on dates with him and try and fix it.

Every super spiritual advicer says pray, I always start with the hard practical issues, to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Life isn't a disney movie, separated couples don't always kiss and make up, then what?

 

[Tolworth John]

The government forces people to carry this.

And you don't have 'faith' to disobey the ungodly laws causing you to doubt God?

Be real you have insurance because if the worst happens you want doctors, lawyers to help pick up your life.
We are to be responcible in the way we live, taking care of ourselves, our families and caring for others.

That means being practical.

 

[Dave L]

And you don't have 'faith' to disobey the ungodly laws causing you to doubt God?

Be real you have insurance because if the worst happens you want doctors, lawyers to help pick up your life.
We are to be responcible in the way we live, taking care of ourselves, our families and caring for others.

That means being practical.

Keep doubting God and you'll need all the insurance you can get your hands on.

 

[cfyahoo08]

Every super spiritual advicer says pray, I always start with the hard practical issues, to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Life isn't a disney movie, separated couples don't always kiss and make up, then what?

We are given the ability to reason and to use intellect certainly, however life is BETTER when you ask for guidance from God in decision making, it is NOT unreasonable to try more than one method to solve life's delema and usually the BEST methods should be used.

 

[Dave L]

We are given the ability to reason and to use intellect certainly, however life is BETTER when you ask for guidance from God in decision making, it is NOT unreasonable to try more than one method to solve life's delema and usually the BEST methods should be used.

The problem is, you are helping break up the marriage having people prepare for the worse. Have them trust in God for reconciliation instead.

 

[Shnn18]

I have spoken to a lawyer and thought about filing for divorce, even though it is not what I want, but I was scared that he was going to pull his money out of the bank. He has not done so at this time, except $125.00 a week for him to live on. Therefore, I have decided that I am not going to file for divorce or legal separation, but rather walk by faith and trust in God. It's been a long three months, but I know that Jesus can turn anything into our good and I'm praying this journey will lead us to a stronger, better marriage down the road.

 

[cfyahoo08]

I have spoken to a lawyer and thought about filing for divorce, even though it is not what I want, but I was scared that he was going to pull his money out of the bank. He has not done so at this time, except $125.00 a week for him to live on. Therefore, I have decided that I am not going to file for divorce or legal separation, but rather walk by faith and trust in God. It's been a long three months, but I know that Jesus can turn anything into our good and I'm praying this journey will lead us to a stronger, better marriage down the road.

Watch Fireproof with him. Go on DATES and work on your friendship.

 

[Shnn18]

Watch Fireproof with him. Go on DATES and work on your friendship.[/QUOTE

 

[Shnn18]

He is currently not living at home, he moved into his sisters and is still having an affair. I told him that I love him and want to save our marriage, but I will not have any contact with him until the affair ends. He does pick up the kids once and a while.