hiya struggling at moment

[notalone32]

hi I used to be known as Above the Clouds on here but i had to change account due to login issues. im finding it hard to not fear at the moment- especially fearing prayer or church. due to abuse from religious parent.

also much bitterness and self pity which i know are sins and i feel bad about... i feel as though i have tears in me which i need to cry but to give into them would be sin.

hate these feelings. urghhh

 

[KayJoy]

Hey.... it's me again

I'm wondering if you might be able to pinpoint why you feel it's a sin to give into the tears? Might it be true that you feel some deep pain and tears would be understandable?

I struggle at times with not being able to release tears ...I'll be right on verge of release, and experience a sudden complete shutdown, with thoughts that I am just feeling sorry for myself, and my pain isn't legit, etc.

But times when I'm able to connect with God (the true God, as opposed to the one I was taught about during times of trauma), He always hears, and gives me comfort, and never condemns me for being broken. And scripture bears out that He cares about our pain, and is near to the brokenhearted and those who are contrite (crushed) in spirit. Wouldn't you say we here (you included) are broken and crushed? It's a lie of satan that he planted into our minds that it's a sin to be broken.

This is something that I've had to work through layer by layer, and still have some ways to go!

<3

 

[Joy]

Hey.... it's me again

I'm wondering if you might be able to pinpoint why you feel it's a sin to give into the tears? Might it be true that you feel some deep pain and tears would be understandable?

I struggle at times with not being able to release tears ...I'll be right on verge of release, and experience a sudden complete shutdown, with thoughts that I am just feeling sorry for myself, and my pain isn't legit, etc.

But times when I'm able to connect with God (the true God, as opposed to the one I was taught about during times of trauma), He always hears, and gives me comfort, and never condemns me for being broken. And scripture bears out that He cares about our pain, and is near to the brokenhearted and those who are contrite (crushed) in spirit. Wouldn't you say we here (you included) are broken and crushed? It's a lie of satan that he planted into our minds that it's a sin to be broken.

This is something that I've had to work through layer by layer, and still have some ways to go!

<3

I find your post so comforting, and really needed to read this today. I was spiritually abused a few years ago and often forget that God hears and gives me comfort etc
Other verses I love are when Jesus says, A bruised reed he will not break,
and. "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Would love to keep in contact here with you both and please be assured of my prayers

Karen

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

It's okay to cry and to let go. Jesus understands where we are. Even he wept. He experienced these very emotions... those who were supposed to know him, tortured him and mocked him.

There is nothing sinful about feelings. Remember David from the Psalms? He was full of a multitude of feelings... he didn't stop with feelings though... he went way past that and went into tons of behaviors that God was not pleased with. Yet David always came back to God and God forgave. He loved David. David was considered a friend to God. So why would God be any less okay with us in our tough times of struggle than he was with David?

After all, God gave us our minds with the capability of experiencing the vast range of experiences of emotions and thoughts. He also gave us the capabilities to learn and grow.

Try not to be so hard on you... it's okay. There's nothing wrong with your feeling... feel it, experience it, and allow yourself to be totally human.

 

[KayJoy]

I find your post so comforting, and really needed to read this today. I was spiritually abused a few years ago and often forget that God hears and gives me comfort etc
Other verses I love are when Jesus says, A bruised reed he will not break,
and. "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Would love to keep in contact here with you both and please be assured of my prayers

Karen

Hi, Karen... thank you for your words of encouragement. I'd love to keep in touch here! It's so nice to meet you! God bless you <3

 

[parsley]

David was a good example, because he was continually chased by King Saul, who was also in authority and people considered him anointed to do that job. Sort of like a religious parent who on paper, or to their church peers, might always seem the right one-- and that left you appearing wrong. Possibly even being gossiped about.

I found that some vocally-religious people can have a compulsive drive within them to do better, better, more... and there is no end to their drive, other than collapse. They can be like people who pick lint off you when you walk into a room -- making sure they one-upped you before you even got a chance to express yourself. It might be more their personality or personal issues, than their religion.

This gets worse with age, too -- when aging people settle into patterns and lose full capabilities. And when they get fearful about retirement and friends dying and kids moving far away. Their behavior is still abusive, but maybe they had some physical/chemical reasons for being that way.

I hope it gets easier to deal with. I went through some things decades ago that I am still dealing with.

 

[notalone32]

I find your post so comforting, and really needed to read this today. I was spiritually abused a few years ago and often forget that God hears and gives me comfort etc
Other verses I love are when Jesus says, A bruised reed he will not break,
and. "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Would love to keep in contact here with you both and please be assured of my prayers

Karen

Thanks so much. I'd love to be your friend. I've had the flu and some other issues so haven't been on here much so apologies that I have only just seen your post.
Bless you Karen

 

[notalone32]

Hey.... it's me again

I'm wondering if you might be able to pinpoint why you feel it's a sin to give into the tears? Might it be true that you feel some deep pain and tears would be understandable?

I struggle at times with not being able to release tears ...I'll be right on verge of release, and experience a sudden complete shutdown, with thoughts that I am just feeling sorry for myself, and my pain isn't legit, etc.

But times when I'm able to connect with God (the true God, as opposed to the one I was taught about during times of trauma), He always hears, and gives me comfort, and never condemns me for being broken. And scripture bears out that He cares about our pain, and is near to the brokenhearted and those who are contrite (crushed) in spirit. Wouldn't you say we here (you included) are broken and crushed? It's a lie of satan that he planted into our minds that it's a sin to be broken.

This is something that I've had to work through layer by layer, and still have some ways to go!

<3

I know why it is. My abuser was a Christian parent and minister. He ministered to people who had been abused and he would abuse me and then tell me my pain was nothing and I'm just an attention seeker.

Because He would say that God was telling him that I was just feeling sorry for myself I grew up hating a God who would dismiss my pain like that. So I don't find God xomforting. God doesn't make me feel safe just convicted

 

[parsley]

Psalm 22, by David.

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning . O my God, I cry by day...

I am a worm and not a man, A reproach of men and despised by the people. All who see me sneer at me; They separate with the lip, they wag the head


Lamentations 1

How lonely sits the city That was full of people! She has become like a widow Who was once great among the nations!
She who was a princess among the provinces Has become a forced laborer!

She weeps bitterly in the night And her tears are on her cheeks; She has none to comfort her Among all her lovers. All her friends have dealt treacherously with her; They have become her enemies.

Judah has gone into exile under affliction And under harsh servitude; She dwells among the nations, But she has found no rest; All her pursuers have overtaken her In the midst of distress .

The roads of Zion are in mourning Because no one comes to the appointed feasts. All her gates are desolate; Her priests are groaning, Her virgins are afflicted, And she herself is bitter. Her adversaries have become her masters, Her enemies prosper.

No one helped her. The adversaries saw her, they mocked at her ruin.


It is not a sin to cry, especially over injustices done.

also much bitterness and self pity which i know are sins and i feel bad about... i feel as though i have tears in me which i need to cry but to give into them would be sin.

John 11:35
Jesus wept.
Jesus, again being deeply moved within, came to the tomb.


I am sure that churches taught me that self-pity is a sin. But where is it in the Bible?


Matthew 5 ESV Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.


Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

 

[parsley]

A good video on all the things that bounce around in our heads:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlwjOtVD-Ng&sns=em

 

[KayJoy]

Great video! But it doesn't address DID or BPD issues. It can be useful, because in order to gain freedom and healing, we need to bring parts (or alters) to Christ so that they can receive His truth to replace the lies they/we were taught through trauma.

 

[parsley]

Thanks for watching it!

 

[notalone32]

A good video on all the things that bounce around in our heads:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlwjOtVD-Ng&sns=em

Thanks Parsley. Will check it out