LovebirdsFlying
My husband drew this cartoon of me.
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Every time we eat together before he leaves for work, my husband will apologize for leaving me washing the dishes. Sweet, but rather silly, and totally unnecessary. I can't seem to communicate to him that I don't mind doing the dishes, and there's nothing to apologize for.
Keep in mind that, due to disability, I can't work at a paying job. Before I married him, I was on SSI. That ended when we got married, because of his income. I feel bad that I can't help him pay bills, and he has to work overtime just to stay above water. The least I *can* do is wash a few doggone dishes. Does he think he should be doing it all, paying the bills AND taking care of the chores around the house, while I sit around and goof off?
I've tried explaining it like this. I'm not unemployed. I have a job, which is homemaker, and dishwashing is part of the job description. It's true I'm on light duty, because I can't do *everything* a homemaker does, but it is my job. He's a bus driver. His passengers don't tell him, "Sorry to leave you driving the bus," because that's his job. I wish he wouldn't take away what little sense of usefulness I have by constantly apologizing because I'm "stuck" doing something useful.
We have this conversation almost every day. Sometimes more than once a day. Is there any way to communicate it once and for all? Maybe the next time he says, "Sorry to leave you with the dishes," I'll answer, "Sorry to leave you paying the bills." Would that do it?
Keep in mind that, due to disability, I can't work at a paying job. Before I married him, I was on SSI. That ended when we got married, because of his income. I feel bad that I can't help him pay bills, and he has to work overtime just to stay above water. The least I *can* do is wash a few doggone dishes. Does he think he should be doing it all, paying the bills AND taking care of the chores around the house, while I sit around and goof off?
I've tried explaining it like this. I'm not unemployed. I have a job, which is homemaker, and dishwashing is part of the job description. It's true I'm on light duty, because I can't do *everything* a homemaker does, but it is my job. He's a bus driver. His passengers don't tell him, "Sorry to leave you driving the bus," because that's his job. I wish he wouldn't take away what little sense of usefulness I have by constantly apologizing because I'm "stuck" doing something useful.
We have this conversation almost every day. Sometimes more than once a day. Is there any way to communicate it once and for all? Maybe the next time he says, "Sorry to leave you with the dishes," I'll answer, "Sorry to leave you paying the bills." Would that do it?