Help!!!!

[Sunshyne]

I am a SAHM to two girls, 6 and 4. The issue I need help with is that every time we go to church, they seem to trash the place. I work the powerpoint every service and my husband is on the worship team, so we have practices, etc that they are basically unsupervised by an adult. I send them to the nursery so I will at least know where they are at. My husband is usually the one who goes to get them because I have severe anxiety and agoraphobia and just need to get out of the building after services. But last night we had Wed night church and they were back there and my 4 year old left school supplies (from her backpack that she brought) EVERYWHERE. I got a text from my pastors wife this morning about it.

I know that 1. I need to stop allowing them to take backpacks or anything else to church. But the bigger issue is, how can I teach them to respect others' property? They know they are supposed to clean up after themselves, etc. But I could really use some advice. I didn't grow up in a disciplined home. I'm totally winging the "christian parenting" thing and I have no idea what I'm doing. How can I make them listen to me and respect me and do what I say?

 

[ZaneHe]

Hi, @Sunshyne , I have a 3 yo son. I am also facing the similar problems. I find that encouragement and praise is an effective way to help a young child build good habits. For example, when you and the children are at home, you encourage them to clean up their stuff and praise them and may even give them some rewards. By doing this again and again, they will form the habit of cleaning up. Hope it helps. I will also pray for you and your family about this. May God bless you!

 

[Call me Nic]

I am a SAHM to two girls, 6 and 4. The issue I need help with is that every time we go to church, they seem to trash the place. I work the powerpoint every service and my husband is on the worship team, so we have practices, etc that they are basically unsupervised by an adult. I send them to the nursery so I will at least know where they are at. My husband is usually the one who goes to get them because I have severe anxiety and agoraphobia and just need to get out of the building after services. But last night we had Wed night church and they were back there and my 4 year old left school supplies (from her backpack that she brought) EVERYWHERE. I got a text from my pastors wife this morning about it.

I know that 1. I need to stop allowing them to take backpacks or anything else to church. But the bigger issue is, how can I teach them to respect others' property? They know they are supposed to clean up after themselves, etc. But I could really use some advice. I didn't grow up in a disciplined home. I'm totally winging the "christian parenting" thing and I have no idea what I'm doing. How can I make them listen to me and respect me and do what I say?

God chastises us when we disobey him. Proverbs says not to spare the rod upon your child. Something to think about: God is a God of correction and discipline, so love them and reprove them how God would reprove you.

 

[Sunshyne]

Hi, @Sunshyne , I have a 3 yo son. I am also facing the similar problems. I find that encouragement and praise is an effective way to help a young child build good habits. For example, when you and the children are at home, you encourage them to clean up their stuff and praise them and may even give them some rewards. By doing this again and again, they will form the habit of cleaning up. Hope it helps. I will also pray for you and your family about this. May God bless you!

Thanks. It's so frustrating and embarrassing!

 

[Sunshyne]

God chastises us when we disobey him. Proverbs says not to spare the rod upon your child. Something to think about: God is a God of correction and discipline, so love them and reprove them how God would reprove you.

Oh, there is no shortage of "the rod" at our home. LOL.

 

[Ken Rank]

I am a SAHM to two girls, 6 and 4. The issue I need help with is that every time we go to church, they seem to trash the place. I work the powerpoint every service and my husband is on the worship team, so we have practices, etc that they are basically unsupervised by an adult. I send them to the nursery so I will at least know where they are at. My husband is usually the one who goes to get them because I have severe anxiety and agoraphobia and just need to get out of the building after services. But last night we had Wed night church and they were back there and my 4 year old left school supplies (from her backpack that she brought) EVERYWHERE. I got a text from my pastors wife this morning about it.

I know that 1. I need to stop allowing them to take backpacks or anything else to church. But the bigger issue is, how can I teach them to respect others' property? They know they are supposed to clean up after themselves, etc. But I could really use some advice. I didn't grow up in a disciplined home. I'm totally winging the "christian parenting" thing and I have no idea what I'm doing. How can I make them listen to me and respect me and do what I say?

Have you ever punished them? Punishment isn't mean, it is a means to an end. Sit them down, explain respect... explain how what belongs to them is theirs, but what belongs to others isn't... and that if they do what they did last time again, they will have ____ taken away from them for a month. And I would make ____ whatever it is they love the most. And make SURE that if they do it again, that ___ IS taken away for a month. Harsh? Not at all..... you're making a point that THEY will respect if you follow through. If you don't follow through... they will walk all over you until they move out.

 

[Sunshyne]

Have you ever punished them? Punishment isn't mean, it is a means to an end. Sit them down, explain respect... explain how what belongs to them is theirs, but what belongs to others isn't... and that if they do what they did last time again, they will have ____ taken away from them for a month. And I would make ____ whatever it is they love the most. And make SURE that if they do it again, that ___ IS taken away for a month. Harsh? Not at all..... you're making a point that THEY will respect if you follow through. If you don't follow through... they will walk all over you until they move out.

Yes, of course we've done all of that and more. If we hadn't, I wouldn't be seeking advice on it. lol.

 

[Ken Rank]

Yes, of course we've done all of that and more. If we hadn't, I wouldn't be seeking advice on it. lol.

Sorry if I offended... but not knowing all you have done and knowing that MANY people today would take what I just said as child abuse.....

My advice then is to just up the ante. Unless there is a chemical imbalance (which is less likely than our culture seems to think) then I would increase the level of punishment until you find that place that they will hear you from. I once took a toy away from my son for 6 months. I told him ahead of time, warned him... he still did it and I took it and on the morning of the day that was 6 months, I gave it back. I have never had to do anything like that again!

Another thought.... let them know (without threatening them) that because they can't respect other people's stuff that you are thinking about not taking them and instead, getting a babysitter. And I would... if they can't keep from spreading everyone else's stuff all over, then perhaps they need to stay home?

Blessings.
Ken

 

[Sunshyne]

Sorry if I offended... but not knowing all you have done and knowing that MANY people today would take what I just said as child abuse.....

My advice then is to just up the ante. Unless there is a chemical imbalance (which is less likely than our culture seems to think) then I would increase the level of punishment until you find that place that they will hear you from. I once took a toy away from my son for 6 months. I told him ahead of time, warned him... he still did it and I took it and on the morning of the day that was 6 months, I gave it back. I have never had to do anything like that again!

Another thought.... let them know (without threatening them) that because they can't respect other people's stuff that you are thinking about not taking them and instead, getting a babysitter. And I would... if they can't keep from spreading everyone else's stuff all over, then perhaps they need to stay home?

Blessings.
Ken

Thanks. And np. I get it. I just gave away MOST of their toys because they wouldn't clean their room
so yeah. They love going to church, so that may be a good answer to not let them go if they can't respect the property. Thanks