Soon in July I will be married for a total of 4 years. However if we want to count the years we dated then I've been with my guy 7 years total. Congratulations on the little bundle of joy that must be so exciting Mother's Day is around the corner.
I was once at the point of asking my husband for a divorce. Because I stayed home and did the cooking and cleaning plus made sure the bill money was turned in each and every month. I'm the money manager because... well my husband is just awful with money. Thankfully he has gotten better but still needs improvement but who doesn't? I know I could make some improvements such as my short temper LOL.
However each night I would have dinner hot and ready to eat... but he was coming home 2-3 hours late. Finally I asked him are you having an affair? Come to find out he was hanging out with his mother at her house up the road from our apartment. He would eat dinner with her... and then wasn't hungry when he came home.
I was one ticked little Georgia peach let me tell you! Here I am doing your stanky man laundry and cooking your favorite meals... just so you can come home late and not act one bit thankful. This went on for awhile. But the devil got into my head and gave me doubts about my husband being faithful to me.
I just refused to believe he was actually at his mothers house. So I did something terrible that I regret till this very day. I began to feel a tad lonely ... so I got on a dating site and started looking for just a friend to talk to. I promised myself I would only find a "friend". Well as you can imagine I ended up cheating on my husband. Now I never actually met up with this particular guy or anything like that. I only talked to him through the chat or my phone.
All of a sudden I started to wear makeup again and dress real girly again. I was feeling "WANTED" I guess you could say. My husband started to ask hey you haven't wore makeup in awhile. But he told me how beautiful I was. This made me feel really bad. The guilt started to really set in... because at the end of the day I wanted my husband not some other guy!
One night I fell asleep early... and my cell phone went off. I was texting this guy through a phone app called Text me or something like that. Where you can talk to someone without actually giving out your real number. Well it popped up on my phone so my husband began to read through the messages. He woke me up crying. It made me feel like the worst person ever.
He now wanted the divorce. The next day he didn't come home and I couldn't sleep. When he finally did come home he wouldn't even look at me. I missed his warm hugs and kisses, and the way his kind green eyes would light up. This time he had sadness in those kind eyes... and I couldn't blame him. Finally we started talking things out, and we talked for hours and hours. It took some time but he did heal and I learned some things as well. We are still together and still happy!
I know what I did was wrong, and I regret it every single day and always will. We were having a lot of problems at that time so it helped play a little role, but ultimately I made the poor choice and can only blame myself for that. In 2013 we had lost a baby would have been our very first... and I was very paranoid he would find a woman who didn't have fertility issues like myself. He also was very weird about his cell phone. He would always take it to the bathroom with him, and if I ever even touched his phone he would kind of act like "Hey what are you doin?!" Although it was 100% okay for him to play with my phone or go through it.
To ease one another we have passwords to all social media accounts. So I can see my husbands stuff as he can see my own. My husband never cheated on me... come to find out he just plays a lot of games on his phone while in the bathroom hiding from chores! All in all I'm happy I stayed with him because he is my bestfriend, and I do actually love him. We just had to communicate better than we were before. I'll pray that things get better for you all.
I understand divorce looks like a great way out... but sometimes you might be surprised how you would feel if the roles were reversed and he wanted the divorce instead. I would suggest marriage counseling... I know money is tight but maybe you could find a preacher from a different church to talk to for free.
Also express to your husband Ya'll have a newborn and he honestly needs to help around the house. He could still preach and hold a second job. I have a preacher who currently does this and he is 52 he works as a prison guard and then preaches as well.
My preacher has talked about when his wife and him were younger she struggled with having less time to spend with him. Because honestly his duties as a preacher came first and his family was second. With preachers they stay so busy because it's constantly go go go! Someone always needs there help and guidance. So his wife became even more involved with the church giving them time to at least see one another. They had 6 boy so it can be done... but won't be easy.
Trust me I'm not married to a pastor... but I know how it feels to be taken for granted in a sense. But I also think we might take our loved ones for granted also... without realizing it because hey we aren't perfect. Just hang in there and continue to pray about it. *hugs*
Oh so you'd rather the yard look a mess or for something to not be fixed?! OR the worst part is when I have someone come then he high jacks them like he called in for the service request.
