Help, my friends faith seems dead

[abysmul]

So you invited her for food and drink, she made small talk that you don't approve of, and she wanted to drink a beverage that you don't like? You've had enough of what?

 

[mina]

She needs a better friend. You are mad because she won't act and talk about what you want her to? You can't control her. You either accept a friend - faults and all - to call them a friend or you are so annoyed with everything they do that you aren't really their friend. You've batted around dropping her for ages b/c you don't like her, so just do it already.
Proverbs 27:6 says, Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. You need to either tell her honestly all the problems you have with her and give her a chance to change so you can enjoy one anothers company; or you will keep being her deceitful "friend" that invites her places and then runs and gossips about everything you hate about her. It is wrong to pretend to be someone's friend when you secretly dislike everything they do and create mean threads on forums about them. it's basically gossip. You either need to tell her to her face the things you have said here or let her go and stop the charade that you want to be her friend. Sorry to be so harsh sounding, but you keep having the same problems with this woman b/c you keep doing the same things and you are not honest with her. She can't read your mind and she possibly thinks you want to be friends with her b/c you like her and enjoy her company. This is being deceitful.

 

[GeorgeJ]

You either need to tell her to her face the things you have said here or let her go and stop the charade that you want to be her friend.

....and PLEASE stop with the updates......the more you rant about her on here, the more you reveal your true nature and the less people care. Try being mean and spiteful to her face instead of carrying on about it here.

 

[Goodbook]

I will wait and give her till easter sunday to see if shes truly a christian. If she makes no indication of wanting to fellowship at church then I will not go out of my way to contact her.

Surely a christian will want to give Glory to God on easter sunday. Besides, over the holiday period all the malls and coffee places will be shut.

 

[mina]

The Bible says nothing of you can know a Christian because of how they act on Easter Sunday. Why don't you just honestly ask her and tell her of the problems you are having with her? Again, you are being a deceitful friend towards her by leading her to believe that you like her and invited her recently to things, let the day go on and didn't speak up concerning the things you dislike about her small talk and beverage choices. If you can't talk to her about the things that annoy you, you just need to be done with her now- not giving her a 2 week test period when she knows nothing about what has annoyed you and not giving her a chance to change. Don't answer when she calls or block her number. Don't pretend to be her friend and play along that everything is fine when you just intend to judge her actions to determine a continuing friendship.

 

[Goodbook]

I cant imagine inviting her to passover dinner. She might embarass herself by saying she wants coffee all the time. I dont know, but she might say the 'i will think about it' excuse again. However I dont recall her ever inviting me for a dinner thats free. She will only said she will shout coffee, mostly cos she has this coffee card and wants to drink it herself. So its not even like she would be shouting me as she drinks so much that she could afford to anyway just so she can have another click on her card.

I have only just realised this..she bought a whole litre of zero coke to the bbq and was high on caffeine the entire time. I couldnt talk to her about anything else cos she was so focussed on her wants. Then after seeing i didnt want to go with her to have coffee and cake she asked if i wanted to go on a bush walk. Well, yes but if i am going to be alone with her and she talks still talks about coffee and shopping that will drive me nuts.

She also indicated she might want to go to the garden centre (which does have a cafe) but i said oh yes i need some plants for church hanging baskets. But that seemed to be ahen she changed her mind and asked me to go on a bushwalk which i had previously suggested that she didnt want to.

Weird. I just dont know how to deal with this friend. She doesnt listen to me how can i just confront her and say DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW JESUS AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR? Or is God your belly??

 

[mina]

You either keep deceiving her or you say point blank, "I"m very worried for you. I keep inviting you to church functions and you either decline or keep talking about food and coffee. I would like to be a good friend to you, but this is annoying me and I would like to ask you why you are doing this? Are you a Christian? And would you like to know God better? I invite you to church functions b/c I want you to know the Lord and love Him and would like to be in fellowship with you."
Then you listen to what she has to say. Maybe you should have a little grace towards her. I'm sure you do and say things that annoy many of your friends or even the Lord, but they bear with you. In the same way, you should bear with others; especially if they have mental illnesses which you have alluded to in previous postings. If you can't handle that, you need to stop talking with her or inviting her places. Again, that is being deceitful , burying your head in the sand, and not dealing with the actual problems you are having with her. If you are a Christian, you should be able to talk about the Lord with her.

 

[Goodbook]

There are some retired members of my church that gather at the mall and have coffee. Maybe i should tell her to go meet with them.

 

[mina]

How will that help your friend or the situation that you find yourself in with her?

 

[GeorgeJ]

How will that help your friend or the situation that you find yourself in with her?

I believe she has you on ignore because you are not reinforcing her or giving her what she wants to hear.

 

[Goodbook]

I feel like an idiot andwering her questions eg where did you get your watch?
Answer..a shop.

I dont know what the name of it was.
Are those pants new?
Answer..uh newish.
Where did you get those shoes.
Answer..uh the warehouse.

She interrogates me on what im wearing each and everytime i see her I have no idea why. Is this normal?

I should tell her God clothes me.

 

[mina]

Why don't you ask her why she does this and tell her it makes you uncomfortable? At this point, I can only assume that you love the drama and even if you "drop" her, you will pick her back up and be creating another thread about her or updating this one within weeks, wringing your hands and wailing about how much you dislike her and what to do about it. None of us here know you or her; perhaps you should seek out a wiser older Christian lady in your church and ask her to pray with you about this or ask if she can point you to scriptures about this situation or even read the Bible and pray yourself to find out how to react towards people. God speed.

 

[mina]

I believe she has you on ignore because you are not reinforcing her or giving her what she wants to hear.

That would explain a lot. That's sad because lots of people gave her scripture and if she's asking for Christian advice and she's ignoring God's word......well, it's too bad and she will always have this problem with this lady. But, what can you do? I won't answer again.

 

[Goodbook]

Please Lord give me patience, Im sure when shes not on sugar or caffeine or whatever drug shes on she CAN focus on God.

However i am not her mother and cant tell her what to eat or drink she puts the food in her own mouth.

 

[Goodbook]

Actually...

Matthew 15
15Peter said, “Explain the parable to us.”

16“Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them.

Jesus was visibly annoyed by his disciples' lack of understanding in many passages, but he persevered and didnt give up on them. He kept loving them anyway.

But I agree with you.

Dont listen to people. Listen to God. Look to what He says in His word. He wrote it there for you to read. People can be wrong. God cant.

I am a little curious, forgive me if Im prying: does she have more money than you or a richer family? Do you feel you are more or less attractive than her? If you dont feel comfortable answering, dont worry about it. In fact, dont bother telling me. Just ask yourself these questions: Is it possible you are envious of her for any reason? Make sure your intentions are pure. You seem to have a lot of resentment towards this girl, and Im having trouble understanding why, because tbh if she were my friend, I wouldnt be worried in the slightest about the things you are concerned about, nor would I take offense at them. You seem to care a lot about volunteer work, how much she shops, what she wears and how expensive it is, how much she eats or works out... just an observation and something to consider. Maybe there is something else going on here inside you that youre not immediately aware of, and would be a good thing to pray about.

We all can get annoyed with each other sometimes, because we are all sinners and we all have our own faults. We are often blind to our own. God have mercy on us! I will be praying for you, that God gives you the strength to love and forgive and know how to deal with other people when they get on your nerves, and please pray the same for me. God bless.

A just going through some posters as i been away and need help with this issue. She is not richer than me shes on the benefit but actually i dont knkw how much money she earns from it but i can say its not that much. Am not envious or jealous of her in anyway. Al, the things she talks about so much are of no interest to me. And i dont know why she keeps gping on about how much she shops. All the time. It is shae csring about all those things, not me..and making me try to care.

All my gardening friends dont give a toss excuse the langauage about what I wear as long as i come wearing clothes. When i to,d her about this bbq the first thing she said was what is the dress code and im going just come wearing clothes.

 

[Goodbook]

Also if i was on the benefit and i have been and sometimes its been student allowance which is half as much...am using that money to buy food and pay expenses not thinking about blowing it on clothes or cofee which she seems to do on a regular basis. Then she has to keep buying new ones cos she doest bother to save and buy quality ones that dont wear out.

 

[Goodbook]

I think if she wants to use her gifts and talents instead of being a consumer she should go train to be a barista or work as a sales assistant in a shop in the mall, and then she will be around coffee and clothes all the time.

 

[Goodbook]

I think if she does call next time again asking about coffee I will just say the coffee shop up the road is hiring, go talk to them. If you go work for them you can have free coffee all the time, and give me some coffee grounds for my worm farm.

 

[Goodbook]

Also on my way to church one sunday i passed another church that was renting the stadium for their services and they had big signs on the roadside saying FREE COFFEE.

 

[Goodbook]

The thought came to me is perhaps shes jealous of me? Because why does she want to know where I bought every item of clothing i am wearing. Ive never known anyone else to say this to me all the time only her, and shes not even a mystery shopper.

My clothes arent that special. Besides she cant fit them its not like she can borrow them or that they would suit her even if she bought them. At least she doesnt ask how much they cost.

If she does ask next time (and am dreading next time cos she never lets up) i will just say i got it from my wardrobe or the dresser. Or maybe i will look at the label and say its made in china.

Then i will need to think of something to say back like I dont worry about clothes God clothes me. And i can say maybe ...where do you get YOUR faith from?