Help, my friends faith seems dead

[Goodbook]

Well i never said I was pressuring her. She was actually the one pressuring ME into doing things I didnt want to do. Can you not see it from my position?

Its not like im a fantastic christian who has it all together either. But in time of recovery, church is the best place to be when you feeling low. Many times you go to church and even if you dont even talk to anyone, being in His presence and listening to his Word is enough.

 

[Cyprezz]

But in time of recovery, church is the best place to be when you feeling low. Many times you go to church and even if you dont even talk to anyone, being in His presence and listening to his Word is enough

For you, maybe not for her just yet. You need to give it time and give it to the Lord.

 

[Goodbook]

Well its been i dont know over 15 years.

 

[Strong in Him]

Well i never said I was pressuring her.

You don't need to say it; it comes across in your posts.

Can you not see it from my position?

It seems your position is that you think you need to know if your friend has faith; you need her to show that faith by good works and do the things that she says she is going to do. You seem to be personally offended if she does not do what she talks about doing and regard it as a lie. You're "tired of her talking about herself and everything BUT God" (post #7), you've claimed that she's lying to God and that you need to confront her about it. You've said that she may be deaf, and I think there was somewhere you even said that she was thick.

Its not like im a fantastic christian who has it all together either. But in time of recovery, church is the best place to be when you feeling low.

Not necessarily.
The church may be like my former one; a group of people who didn't talk about their faith, have a Bible study group, offer to pray with you or have anything much in the way of fellowship. Friendly, yes; real Christian fellowship, no. If I was feeling low I didn't go to that church, I went to one that offered prayer ministry.
Your friend may not feel comfortable talking about private things, or she may have once plucked up the courage to try, only to find that the church couldn't help her/people dismissed her and just said "pray harder", or that they didn't want to listen to her, just get her to join them.

I'm glad that your belief is that if you are feeling low you can turn to God, and the church; but if someone doesn't believe that, you can't force it on them.

Many times you go to church and even if you dont even talk to anyone, being in His presence and listening to his Word is enough.

Yes, that may be YOUR experience; you can't expect everyone to think like this.

 

[Goodbook]

I will just give to the Lord those 15 or more wasted years and hope she can catch up on all shes missed.

I mean for me I wouldnt want to stand another second serving satan And being in darkness and bondage if I didnt even have to.

 

[Strong in Him]

I will just give to the Lord those 15 or more wasted years

How do you know they're wasted years?
Moses wasn't called by God, and might not even have known him, until he was 80. Abraham had Isaac when he was 100, Noah was quite old when he built he ark. Yet God was probably with them, and working in them, before this time.

I mean for me I wouldnt want to stand another second serving satan And being in darkness and bondage if I didnt even have to.

How do you know she's serving Satan?
How old were you when you became a Christian?

 

[Goodbook]

I have to ring and tell her i cant make it to our museum outing cos now ive got some work on. But she wasnt home yesterday. I just hope the other friend will meet up with her cos i feel like ive done enough, and I can only meet her on Sundays at church or after. Or she can meet me at a new bible study we started on wednesdays during the day.

And then just leave it to the Lord and the holy spirit to revive her. I just dont really feel up to walking round like a zombie at the shops and listening to someone talk about what they wear and eat all the time, and then ignore me when I want to talk about God. :-(

 

[abysmul]

I just dont really feel up to walking round like a zombie at the shops and listening to someone talk about what they wear and eat all the time, and then ignore me when I want to talk about God. :-(

Some people like small talk, and some don't. Some people like to talk about their relationship with God, and some people are more private.

and that's OK

 

[Goodbook]

Well I rang her cancelling monday outing and she still insisted on 'going for awalk AND coffee' im not sure what this obesssion with coffee is about but just invited her to a bible study am starting up and then she said she will 'think about it'

But i said I could only meet her on wednesday or sunday after church so finally she agreed to meet me after bible study, at church. Although she was really reluctanct to come read the bible and insisted it be AFTER. Which is weird because she used to always come and read with me. My other friend is going to come as well. I said we can have coffee at church, its free. Also am going to walk to the christian bookstore.

She kept saying i wait till you get home and then you and me go togetherbut i was like I dont know what time i be home why dont you just meet me at church. Something so simple she makes a huge fuss over, really not sure what her agenda is, but it could be im like her exercise machine or something. :-( she keeps telling me she wants to lose weight but when i tell her, just eat less, its like she wont. She cant magically transfer her kilos to me thats what i find so annoying. All she will want to talk about is ...clothes, shopping and losing weight. Arrgh.

I am going to talk about God.

 

[GeorgeJ]

You talk about this girl as if she was one of your biggest enemies......not your friend.

Honestly, anyone could do without a friend like you.

 

[Poppyseed78]

I just, I can't. Just can't with this. lol.

 

[Strong in Him]

Unsubscribing.
I think Goodbook's already made up her mind.

 

[Elliewaves]

LOL What a thread! Of course, it's a Goodbook thread! If you can't just be a good encouraging witnessing friend to her and are tempted and do things (like drink coffee) because of her, then maybe it's your faith that is lacking. You don't have faith enough that God will help her? or help you to be a friend to her? You seem to want overnight and instant change. Maybe you shouldn't put God on a timetable and just faithfully pray for her and don't gossip about her; no matter how long it takes. Leaving it in His hands doesn't mean you pick it back up again and constantly accuse her of not being a Christian. Perhaps you should develop your own faith before you go around accusing others.

 

[Goodbook]

Well we can have coffee at church its no big deal. And its free. I really dont see the need to go out to a cafe to have a cuppa. Can have it at home. Its not as if you talk to other people in the cafe. Plus its real noisy too.

I dont really like cafes and cant really relax in them cos then this friend starts ordering cake and talking about food all the time. She only really wants to go for the food i dont think its my company cos I could just bring a thermos and have a cuppa in the park.

At least thats what i suspect, but this time if she wants to go have a cuppa I just say we can have it at my house. Coffee is real expensive its like $4 or $5 a cup and not even really worth it. Sometimes shed shout me but not always i do think its just an excuse to order cake.

Also i dont recall her ever baking a cake in the time ive known her. She will alwys have to eat cake, and then kind of get me to eat it. But its not even my birthday or anything.

 

[Goodbook]

Why would going to church be guilt inducing for someone whos a christian.
Thats what I dont understand unless she isnt actually saved.

I have to confront her at some point and ask. I just want to know the right thing to ask in a way she wont keep evading me and talking about other things that arent even important.

 

[Cyprezz]

I'm sorry Goodbook, but oh Lord ..
Last input I'm having on this cause I can't find a nice way to tell you this.

Your friend obviously doesn't want you to discuss her faith. From what you've told us, she's trying to find neutral ground to AVOID that discussion. If your friendship is solely based on her faith, you might want to find a new friend; for all our sakes.

 

[GeorgeJ]

.............you might want to find a new friend; for all our sakes.

With "friends" like Goodbook, you don't need enemies.....

 

[Goodbook]

Yea, thats why am thinking if she has no faith of dropping her...if she really has no faith, theres no point in hanging out with her so much. Everytime i try to encourage her she doesnt bother to listen :-(

If she cant even make the effort to encourage ME when im needing a boost, like a simple thing as attending ONE service together whats the point.
She can go her own way, and doesnt actually need me to go with her..if shes cast off her first love, she needs to repent.

Friendship is based on trust. If she cannot trust the Lord, how can I trust her anyway? She will lie to me. And keep lying to me. :-(

 

[abysmul]

I have to confront her at some point and ask. I just want to know the right thing to ask in a way she wont keep evading me and talking about other things that arent even important.

Why do you have to confront her? That's so hostile sounding. Can you not be a friend, kind, loving, patient, and let your Christianity be known by its fruits, not by confronting and bashing your so called friend over the head with your faith?

 

[Goodbook]

Update, invited her to this neighbours day bbq and although she came and it was nice to see her the WHOLE time she was complaining about wanting coffee and asking where i bought my pants, my watch and my shoes.

Arggh! My church friend who i do gardening with was there too. She doesnt know the issue i have with this friend. Then my mum came and i tell this friend for the upteenth time i DO NOT LIKE OR DRINK COFFEE. Then She says, oh your mum likes coffee doesnt she?

I say im too busy to go out with her and im not going to coffee or the mall even if she shouts me. For goodness sakes i made a whole 5 litres of ginger ale and shes just gets high on zero coke. Thats IT! I had enough!