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HELP!Divorcing Narcissist Retaliates!

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by StillBelieve, Jul 30, 2014.

  1. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    HELP!! After fourteen and a half years I FINALLY had enough of an extremely evil, wicked "satan-serving" "dungeons&dragonsCultMember" who actually had satans "gang tattoo" put on his right arm! He's also without a doubt possibly the WORST CASE SENARIO of a sexualNarcissist/Sociopath/sexPervertFreak/Sexual Predator/Child Molester, and also without a doubt the most convincing pathological liar/ConArtist anyone will ever know! I only got a very few and very vague warnings from only one member of his family at the beginning, but because I also suffer from psychological disorders from being raised by a narcissist, I am what they call "co-dependent" and at that time in the beginning, I was already too "smitten" by his act to really hear the warning. It was later that I heard more. He lied about literally every single thing about him including his age! He is way too young for me, but when I actually DID try to make him go away from me , he used either intimidation and/or threats and also tried to commit suicide or threatened to, knowing full well that in my state where white females have no rights against what a male person says, I would be the one they suspected of "foul play" and I would be arrested. The so-called "law" refused to back me up when I called them when my soon-to-be ex-husband assaulted me. Every single time, they just left!! That just enabled him to abuse me more. Why the heck can't any of them understand that?
    Unfortunately, in my twisted ill state of mind, i actually married the guy, thinking that things might get better. I completely ignored the warning…"do NOT be UNEQUALLY YOKED with a non-believer"! In fact, it never even came to mind. I don't know why.
    Anyway, I FINALLY got that wicked demon-possessed "entity" out of my house July 26 only by totally going off on him when he went off on me. I had had ENOUGH ABUSE!
    He instantly messaged a relative to say he was coming down. I made him pack ALL his stuff. He also messaged others that he "hides" on his "secret" phone and "secret" contacts, I saw him doing it, and knew what he was doing. He didn't need to tell me.
    Its basically just been his sexual hookup phone for literally years now. He's been furious with me for years ever since I found out within literally the first year that he is a sex pervert FREAK, and a sexual predator/"ho"-chaser like NO OTHER! He even cheated on me with his ex-boss in a homosexual affair since March of 2011! He's a BI-sexual-predator, and really truly does not think that there is a single thing wrong with what he does. He simply has zero sense of right and wrong. As far as he's concerned, if he desires it and wants it, he should have it, and no one should tell him no. Period.
    He's been slandering me behind my back, and doing things to set me up to make me look like "the bad guy" and make him look "innocent" and perfect to all! These are typical symptoms of narcissism and sociopathy. He's got every single symptom of narcissism and all the symptoms of sociopathy except one!
    Here is my issue………..Now he's down in a major city south of me about 3 hrs or so, slandering the bloody heck out of me to pretty much anyone and everyone he knows. How do I know this? Because thats just him, and thats what he always does every time I either kicked him out or tried to when he flipped out on me getting violent and nasty and spewing his evil to me and threatening violence. He did it last time I tried also.
    Like the saying goes……"a tiger can't change his stripes". How true. Sorry to say. What can I do? I am so lonely and feel so alone now. I literally do not know what to do with myself. I try to pray to God, but its as if He's not there or something. I signed back up for job placement, and will be turning in the paperwork for school soon, cause if I don't do something like this to try and get my mind off my sadness, unbelievable sorrow and unbelievable loneliness, I literally feel like I will snap or go out of my mind or something. I don't drink or take drugs, so there is no "release" or relief for me, only God can help me. I wouldn't do those things anyway. Never had the interest.

    Please pray for me! I don't know how Im going to do this alone. Its been so long since Ive actually lived alone, I can't even hardly remember.
    Please pray that my soon to be ex will stop his evil retaliation to get back at me. He's already been doing some unbelievable two-faced backstabbing snake retaliation against me for years, sending recordings to all my neighbors, family, even business employees of places we go in town, and his family and his army reserve unit people! He made literally EVERYONE think that I am the "dangerous and violent" one and that I might "do something" to him! Wow. So now, thats what about 50 to 80 people in this world believe about me. He's got his narcissist "groupies" that sided with him against me. done deal. I know him all too well, and I know full well he will never stop unless God literally does a miracle!
    Please pray that God will help me to stop the utter unbelievable hatred and despise I have for my ex. HELP! I am all alone! I have no one.
    Not one person on earth. he took care of that by slandering me to everyone including my family and turning all against me. Now I have no one.
    Except God. Please pray for me: !
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014
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  2. BFine

    BFine Seed Planter

    +620
    Calvary Chapel
    Married
    Talking bad about one's spouse is sadly, common place and families and
    friends often take sides when things just go so badly in a marriage that is
    toxic.

    I was in a bad first marriage and had similar experiences with family and mutual
    friends-- in the long run, none of that even mattered...because I knew God would
    get me through all that "toxic waste" and doing my part meant not bad-mouthing my ex
    or airing his dirty laundry.
    Trust me, it was a struggle NOT to do that!

    I gathered up what was left of me and started seeking God more-- I got back to faithfully
    attending church, reading my Bible and praying. I put in more time with people who really
    needed help instead of staying cooped up at home and feeling sorry for myself.

    I took an interest in studying God's Word and fell in love with biblical history all over again!
    I also volunteered to do things at church like: children's programs and daycare and
    helped with keeping the church bathroom clean; also transported children to and from church.

    All that helped to take my mind off of my ex and all the hurt... just so you know, my ex
    moved down the street from me with his new wife after he put in for a quick divorce.
    ..my situation was very toxic!
    Nevertheless, within a year's time the Lord did a major work and turned
    things around on my ex and his new wife... they wouldn't be troubling me any further!
    Their plans and schemes to cause me harm were turned on them.

    I knew this scripture and held myself in check:
    Proverbs 24:17-18
    "Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad when
    he stumbles; Or the LORD will see it and be displeased, And turn His anger away
    from him."

    Reflect on all this and remember it is God who heals the broken-hearted and
    rightly judges.
    Trust in Him for all that you need, for He loves His Children and
    will help you to overcome all the hurt you have endured.

    Also...
    Please work on forgiving your husband and leave the whole matter in the Lord's
    hands.

    Colossians 3:13
    "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any
    of you has a grievance against someone.
    Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2014
  3. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    Oh my goodness,
    I can't thank you enough. Yours is the absolute perfect reply I need so
    so so very badly right now. I am hurting so much inside, and so discontent and so lonely, but what you did in your similar situation is exactly what I believe God is drawing me to do also. I finally just got up and went to a place where they have a small private worship and Bible study thing, and it was unbelievable! Glorious is the word Im thinking. They were all so nice.
    No one was judgmental like I usually get. I was shocked, I think Im still am!
    They all really want to "be there" for me, so maybe I have finally found somewhere where I can have a "family of God" home. I've never had that.
    Your story and advice is perfect and right to the point.
    I can't thank you enough. I'm just going to keep this and read it every single day. I might even print it out and take it with me wherever I go.
    Its just perfect and spoke to my heart so much and has made me feel
    better. Thank you thank you my dear sister in the Lord!
     
  4. BFine

    BFine Seed Planter

    +620
    Calvary Chapel
    Married
    Just sharing what the Lord did for me...He wooed me right
    back to His side and I'm forever thankful to Him!
     
  5. Quasicentennial

    Quasicentennial Member

    +40
    Christian
    Single
    Recording technology, either audio or both video and audio, are now common on mobile phones and 7-inch, or higher, tablets - if physical evidence is needed instead of by natural voice alone, then the matter would definitely be severely dealt with by police and the court of justice:.
    No woman should deserve this kind of harassment as if the male partner is above the law, and the police or secret FBI agent would set up hidden surveillance cameras in the house during the male partner's absence, so that the wife can act normally once the cameras start rolling:.
    Of course, there is one vital option for your male partner to escape permanent prison life, and that he must accept Jesus so that all past sins are forgiven, as if he has been washed in the supernatural abundance of peace and joy, to be disciplined in Christ-righteousness in such a way - its as if he had never done or had a hard time remembering if he ever did any evil act of harassment at all - In Jesus Name, deliver this man from evil.;'*';.
    Rev 21:2 :liturgy:
     
  6. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    Hello Quasicentennial,
    You are 100% correct about NO ONE deserving to have a crime that despicable being committed against them for no other reason than becuz the woman found out he was messing around with NUMEROUS persons! I found out he was a sexual narcissist/predator/and child molester and busted him out for it big time! That was my mistake. If you EVER find out what a narcissist is doing, NEVER EVER EVER let them know that you're aware! Don't ever say a word! The best you could do is send an anonymous letter, but never give a single clue as to who you are and/or how it is that you know them, becuz if they know you are the one confronting them for their sins/crimes against you and others, they will turn against you like nothing you could ever in a million years even begin to imagine. I found out that he was already saying things about me within literally 6 months!
    I confronted him about it but he just gave some lame answer. He was up at my property and his half-bro was there too, they were inside talking and I had gone outside for something, and I heard them thru the living room window. It wasn't anything that horrible, but nevertheless, it was pretty weird considering the fact that he had lied to me to make me think that he had been "evicted" becuz he had flipped out on the bosses at work and got fired, so I had graciously allowed him to come up to the property and stay in my shop. There was a bed in there, and electricity for a tv and he could play his video games also. ( I didn't know he was a video game addict (D&D) and was in a "dark cult" of the same type of thing)
    It was all just a scam/ploy by a very clever pathological lying con-artist from the VERY BEGINNING to just use me as a "sugar-mama-slave" to support him. He NEVER loved me or even liked me in that way, I now know.
    You wouldn't believe just how often and how common it is now for people like that to hack other peoples phones, whether landline or cell. Just google it. And yes, it IS
    A CRIME! But since when has that knowledge EVER stopped a narcissist/criminal?
    By now he's probably got numerous recordings that he has used against me, sending them to literally every single person that I have met or talked to, even some business owners in town where we went!! I made the mistake of being nice to them and talking to them in befriending them when my ex was right there! He couldn't have that becuz of his insane jealousy, so it seems as if all of those people where the ex was present are the ones that have been turned against me. NONE of the people that I have talked to or befriended (where he doesn't know about) have been turned against me. There also seems to be something on my vehicle. He ALWAYS knows where my car is at! I tested him one day when I was on the phone with him, and he asked where I was at, ( I knew he was testing ME to see what I would say), and I told him I was at the mechanics shop, but I was actually just one block down from there waiting to take in the car.
    (yes, I know, I shouldn't have done that) He paused for a moment as if he was looking at something, and then actually said.." are you right at his shop on the property?" NOTHING could have been more obvious!! But when I confronted him with it later, of course all he did was argue argue argue argue and fight and deny deny deny! There is simply no way to confront a narcissist pathological compulsive liar about something they've done wrong unless you have "evidence submissable in a court of law" ! I have NO WAY of getting any evidence of him stalking my phone and computer/house/car. He knows full well I can't afford an investigator, and most investigators can't get that proof. I know becuz Ive called and talked to some over the phone. The only proof are the people who are witnesses of what was sent to their phones.
    And none of them will admit it, but several have made it obvious by what they said, and actually only my daughter is the only one who has ever admitted it, but she did not want to discuss what she heard, but actually made a statement about something I said the evening before in my house! She was NOT THERE in my house at the time, she was 2 states away!!! What does that tell you? My son has ALSO received the recordings (made it obvious) but was turned against me so he's on the side of the person sending them, and won't admit to anything. My ex has turned ALL of my family against me, his family, ALL of my neighbors, I have no friends left, I can't talk to anyone unless he is not present and I can't call anyone from the phone that I have that he has a hack on. But even if I give a new number to, like, a doctors office, he knows all of my info and has some sort of voice changer program and can call them and find out what new number I gave. It seems like every number I give to any medical clinic gets hacked, and I can't call any family members when I try to talk to them about all of this becuz the conversation is being monitored/recorded. I read something online once where it stated that ALL narcissist/sociopaths/stalkers/harrassers ALWAYS SEPARATE THEIR VICTIMS FROM THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!! ALWAYS! Wow. Its true. Believe it. He "projected" himself and his own behavior onto ME, just like I've read in the narcissist blogs. He has lied and said that I am the "violent one or potentially violent" and "crazy" and supposedly "diagnosed" with numerous weird psychological mental disorders, which is EXACTLY what a military psychologist diagnosed HIM with!! I tried and tried and tried to talk to him about his disorders and how it all started when he was a child. I've tried to be understanding and help him to also understand how it all happened, and the better, more positive ways he could try to start thinking about himself and others, but he could care less. As far as he's concerned, he's some sort of 'god' in his own eyes, and sees the entire world as 'subjects' to be used in one way or another. I have NEVER in all my life met a more convincing liar! He fooled me for YEARS! Even in the face of EVIDENCE, he STILL would lie like crazy and he would argue and deliberate so much that I finally just gave up, and wanted to believe him. I have no chance against someone that can talk so convincingly when the way that I talk is NOT the least bit convincing and no one believes me becuz of it.
    There is something in my house that seems to still be recording sounds, but I cannot afford the bug finder to find it. So even though he's out of the house, he might still be able to hear everything I say, and/or anyone who comes into my house and whoever i talk to. So becuz of that, I STILL am not free to have any friends over to my house becuz I still cannot speak freely INSIDE MY OWN HOME! He refused to give me back my keys, so he can just come inside any time he wants if he happens to know Im not here, and he knows full well theres not a stinking thing I can do about its, becuz I can't afford a locksmith.
    He's already got the sheriffs deputies turned against me. They refused to listen to me and/or do their job, so he's home free to do whatever he wants.
    He STILL has power over me. I don't really believe that I will ever be completely free of him, becuz even if I move, he knows how to find me thru the information services, and now that he's got my sister on his side against me, she can get the info from our mother and just give it to him.
    NO WONDER so many victims of narcissists/sociopaths end up committing suicide, becuz they feel that there is NO OTHER WAY OUT!
    I am actually now considering leaving the country. Please pray for me that I will somehow be able to find the transmitter and get the evidence I need if that be Gods Will, or at least be freed from the clutches and control of such wickedness in my life.
    I so greatly appreciate my sisters and brothers advice and hearing my plea for prayer.
    Thank you so very very very much. None of you all will ever know just how much it means to me. I have nothing else right now. Nothing. Except the prayer support of you
    all and knowing that God exists and is there!
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2014
  7. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +21,499
    Anglican
    Married
    Hi, SB. I haven't read all that's been posted with careful attention to detail, but I have a few thoughts.

    1. When a divorcee slanders the ex, the listener usually takes it with a grain of salt, realizing that "getting even" to the point of fabricating stuff is commonly done. Don't assume that all who even acted like they agreed with him actually did--unless you have firm evidence, that is. When anyone is told these kinds of stories by an angry ex, he realizes that it's not a good idea to second guess the ex to his face.

    2. I doubt very much that this fellow can hide from everybody else all that you told us that he's like and the things he's into. Therefore, that's another reason not to conclude that everyone believes his story automatically.

    3.If he's hours away from you now, take that as a lucky turn of events for you and start seeking out new friendships.
     
  8. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    Hi Albion,
    Yes, you are correct about it being true that many times the person thats being "dumped" will of course retaliate w/nonscense talk, and I sure hope that not everyone would be so quick to believe. Unfortunately, his family does believe him from what a couple persons have said. But I already knew that would happen. However, you are also correct when you say that he simply cannot hide from everyone the way that he is. He has a very very long track record of burning literally every bridge, and his own family actually knows that! I already do know that some day, in some way, others will also witness exactly what I witnessed, becuz numerous people out at the large Inn at the beach where he worked saw some backstabbing and favoritism stuff and from what one girl said, they didn't like him for it. He had sexually predated her and her friend, but being married and being a supervisor, they didn't like him for it. He then shmoozed the homosexual boss to get him to get on my ex's side against the 2 girls for refusing him and busting him out to the boss and to others. Unfortunately for the girls, it worked.
    They both ended up losing that job in the end. My ex admitted to the homo-affair but refused to admit the continued contact.
    And yes, his being several hours away is a blessing in disguise, but whatever's in the house monitoring me is still here I believe. I did not see him take anything like that from any particular spot. I was watching him the whole time to make sure he didn't steal anything more from me like he already had. I was afraid he would. The illegal monitoring/recording thing is nothing that I can do anything about except pray. I cannot possibly afford the equipment to find whatever is in my house and on my vehicle. But I'm just giving it up to God, and there's nothing more I can do. I'm asking God for His protection from this evil daily!! Thank you so much for you good advice, this really does make me feel a whole lot better!! You have no idea!
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2014
  9. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +21,499
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    Married
    Thank you for saying that. I am encouraged that it might have made you feel at least somewhat less alone and threatened. Of course, almost everyone's family sides with the divorced party in these situations, even if they think that their relative brought it on himself. That's something that you'll just have to live with, but it's only a small group you can do without, I assume.

    As for the snooping devices, I am no techie, but I wonder if there are not amateur tech nerds you could seek out through friends or somewhere and ask about it. Maybe it's possible to discern if there are any devices and in operating order through some technique that wouldn't require you to hire a real professional to turn the place inside out looking. I don't know what this would be, but it often seems that there's some shortcut to finding out the basic answer to these things if not actually in the preferred and foolproof way. That could go a long way towards easing your mind on that account.
     
  10. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    HI Albion,
    Yeah you're right, it is something that I guess I just have to live with. Sure is hard though. And I think I might try and put out some sort of request for help online from only the library or another public pc under an email he doesn't know about. Maybe, hopefully, God will send me someone who will be willing to help me.
    Thank you for your reply, I sure appreciate anything right now in my devastated and shocked and frightened situation. Im just praying all day, and all night, I don't know what else to do! Thank you again : ))
     
  11. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    Hey,
    I just thought about something…….is there a way I could put out some sort of request like that on this website that you know of?
    Just wondering……...
     
  12. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +21,499
    Anglican
    Married
    Hi, SB. I will pray for you, but I would also like to offer this advice. Following a bad divorce, almost everyone who goes through it feels at the bottom of a big dark well and can see nothing that's ever going to change that. However, the great majority of them see, in time, that life goes on and may, in fact, get to be better than before!

    A few people don't recover, and that's because they give up. Many other people don't believe they will, but they do.

    I know that you will feel better, and I just want to ask you not to get down on yourself in the meantime, shut yourself away, or go around like there's a sign printed on your forehead, OK?

    Your divorce is what describes you at the moment--or so you think in your own mind--but almost no one else sees it that way or wants to. And they will not, so long as you don't yourself make it seem so by your actions, demeanor, and etc. :)
     
  13. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    Albion,
    Thank you so much for your kind words and advice and yes I AM sort of feeling as if Ive been going around w/some sort of "telltale" sign on my forehead or something as if its shame and everyone else knows of all the lies that have been said about me!!Thats SO weird that you somehow guessed that. It has been way to easy for my situation to more or less describe me so to speak, like you mentioned, wow, very intuitive of you. and my actions and demeanor I literally have to talk to God almost minute by minute to try and keep them in check becuz I am so angry at the hideous unbelievable injustices done to me and still being done to me. I have to constantly ask God to MAKE me see all these things thru HIS eyes and not thru my own! I FULLY believe it is He Himself that brought me to you and a few others here on this website to understand my situation and feelings and reach out to me. I don't believe this was just a coincidence at all.
    Many thanks! : )) God Bless
     
  14. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

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    Ah, but you see, I didn't do much in the way of intuiting. :) I merely passed on to you the facts about how most ordinary people like yourself feel and how the world looks to them when they go through what you did. The problem--if that's the way to put it--is just that you never went through it before and so were completely unable to keep it from disorienting you. You have nothing from a past experience to draw from, so you thought the worst. Even some knowledge of a relative or friend's own divorce wouldn't prepare you adequately for thinking straight about your own when it hit.

    Now, the motivation for me to have written this additional post to you is to show you that the reason I hit the nail on the head, as it were, is not at all because of my perceptiveness or ability to read between the lines of your original post...but because it's true! It rang true to you because it IS true.

    You can see, therefore, that what I wrote wasn't just a batch of kind words made up in order to ease your pain.

    Take heart. It will get better.
     
  15. Autumnleaf

    Autumnleaf Legend

    +947
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    Maybe you should love him unconditionally.
     
  16. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    Thats actually what I did for 14 and a half years! Regardless of what he did
    early on, and what I found out, I did not kick him to the curb like everyone said I should have. I was stupid. I should have stuck to my guns about what I knew was right, and not allowed him to manipulate and intimidate me into allowing him to make me his slave and just take the abuse. God never intended for me to be with someone so evil, and someone who actually made a "pact" with satan way back before I even met him! He is the worse case scenario of a narcissist/sociopath, and is one heck of a convincing con artist. No one who talks to him would ever in a million years be able to guess that. They have to actually be around him a lot more and/or live with him to see it after a while. But believe me, they do sooner or later. He has burned literally every bridge. Even my sister told me "a tiger can't change his stripes"!!!!!
    Unless of course, that 'tiger' gives it all up to the Lord!
    That is what Im praying every day for him. That God will somehow in
    some way lead him to Christ once and for all.
    Loving a criminal doesn't alway make the criminal want to give up their
    ways. But I can care for him and pray for him from afar. God tells us to
    "Pray for our enemies", so that is what I'm doing. Please join me in praying for my ex-husband Robert, and for me also as I am going thru some sort of
    ……(I don't know how to describe it, don't know the words)……….I can't wait for the day when I no longer feel this way and have completely gotten over all of these horrible feelings. I can't wait!!
     
  17. Autumnleaf

    Autumnleaf Legend

    +947
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    I didn't know there was a time limit on loving someone. If God loves me as much as He loves Jesus he'll have me beaten and crucified and resurrected.

    The idea that God wants me to have health, wealth and prosperity doesn't seem to jive with the Bible as much as some make it out to.
     
  18. StillBelieve

    StillBelieve Newbie

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    I'm sure there is no such thing as a time limit on loving someone. Although many times its probably extremely difficult to feel any kind of empathy or "love" for an individual who has victimized us. However, my prayer is that God will allow me to be able to "love my enemies" as I "pray for my enemies" and I will be able to love him (them) with Christs love THRU me.

    Also, just a thought, your other statement reminded me of the "Health, Wealth, and Prosperity Doctrine" that was going around in the 80's, and probably still is now to some extent. It was started by the "Speak it and You Shall Have It" cults. It was born out of selfishness I believe, but thats just my personal opinion. Maybe Im wrong.


     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2014
  19. Avniel

    Avniel Doing my part each day by being the best me

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    Sorry this just bothers me when people do this. My wife has a master's in psychology however she can not classify someone as a suffering with narcism because she doesn't have the education to do so. You can say people have a mental issue or are mentally unhealthy but 9 times out of 10 people without a educational background in field can not diagnose people. You don't know what his problem is you have no clue. Sorry it just bugs me.
     
  20. znr

    znr Report THIS. Supporter

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    Whoa. Talk about projecting.
     
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