I really appreciate all your advice and support, but now I'm going to throw a major monkey-wrench into everything, and please here me out in full, and don't jump on a judgment, but fully grasp and understand the situation and let me know what you feel:
Paul had a long and rough past. Paul grew up in a Humanistic home with his mother and step-father, and made about every bad choice there was to make, hurting himself and others. His senior year in high school, he came to believe and trust in Jesus, and as a new Christian was learning and growing spiritually very fast. God was teaching him and showing him amazing things from the start, and God put the calling of pastor on his life. After everyting God showed him the next few months, Paul chose to join the Navy when God had made clear that He wanted him to go to Australia to help build a church. All expenses for this trip would have been covered, but he chose the Navy instead. He backslid a lot and told God to leave him alone, that he wanted to do his own thing. Two years into the Navy, he met a "hottie" and married her soon after (becoming father to her baby from a previous relationship). They had two children within the first three years.
About two years into their marriage, Paul began to hunger for that sweet fellowship with the Lord. He wanted fellowship and teaching from God's Word again, but his wife would have no part of it. She refused to allow him or the children to go to church or have anything to do with God or Christianity. Paul continually grew in his hunger for God - and one time she came and "responded to an altar call" only to chuck his Bible out the car window on the freeway, proclaiming they would never go to church again.
Several times during their marriage he walked in on her and another man in his own bed! Every time he forgave her. She began to cut him off from all outside connections. No longer was he allowed to see his family or have any friends, nor was his family allowed to see him or his children - not even his own parents. She also was physically abusive. She would get angry and begin throwing whatever she could at him. After a while of withstanding it, he began to retaliate and she'd call the cops on him! She continued to abuse him and after so many of her cop calls, he was labeled as abusive. She forced him to "see a doctor" and had him put on heavy sedatives. He no longer could hold a job, and she would take the kids to daycare - so he'd sit at home all day with no outside contact (hence the weight gain).
For seven years, he remained faithful to her, forgiving her infidelity and her abuse every time, desiring to be there for his children. On 9-11 (terrorist attacks), she came home and flew off the handle at him, and he told her he wanted to turn back to God. He couldn't handle the seperation from God anymore, but had been praying for years that the Lord would save him from his mess. She immediately took him to see the doctor, and she told the doctor he was threatening her life! They took him to a mental hospital (seeing that he was not at all violent so as to require jail) to check him out. After talking with him, the doctors realized that there was nothing wrong with the guy - 'cept that he married an evil woman. At the hospital, they had her come and sit in one last counseling session to see if things could be worked out. She told Paul that he had to choose between God and her, because she would not allow him back in the house if he was going to be reading the Bible and attending church.
Needless to say, he no longer had a home. He knew he must choose God, and trust God to bring his children back to him. Paul called his biological father, who over time had become a Christian, and a pastor, and is now consequently a pastor at my church. Paul told him his situation, and was on the next bus with only the clothes on his back.
Paul and I met about 4 months after he had returned (around Christmas). I knew nothing about his past, and God had done some amazing work in his life from the point when he returned to when we had met. It is amazing how God's timing works, and it is clear that God has brought us into each others lives for various reasons. Namely, we point each other to the Lord daily! Paul is currently fighting for custody of his kids, so they too can be free to know God and attend church and have a Christian family. Currently his ex will not allow him to see his children, and will hang up on him if he calls even to talk to them.
Having said all this, Paul and I have been waiting on God moreso than anything because his divorce has not been finalized by the courts. We have not "officially" done any courtship (as I mentioned earlier, as I was thinking more in the future tense), rather we've discussed it, and are praying about it as a future plan when this all gets sorted out and cleared up by God's grace.
Some friends have told me I should have nothing to do with Paul, but God's Word proclaims that where he stands is right (see 1 Corinthians 7:15 and the verses surrounding it), and circumstances show that our friendship has only drawn us both very much closer to the Lord. Our talks are about Jesus and His Word and what He is doing in our lives. Edification and even exhortation are the result of our times spent together talking and reading the Word. So please, pray, and tell me what is on your heart. And again, thank you for your love and your honesty. My heart desires to be pure before the Lord, and in the center of His will.
~Jessa
He's overweight and starting to bald. I've had friends tell me that this is a problem I need to address. What do I do? Do I tell him that I don't find him attractive? How would I tell him that? Should I just let it be since I'm in love with the eternal part of him and the outward is just a tent? 
What should I do??? 
