Hello

[Cursed111]

Hey i dont know what to do any more ive been very religious and spiritual my whole life but things arnt getting any better i have been suffering for 11 years. I pray daily for a miracle, i pray to just be happy and to be myself but nothing seems to be working. I want to live but for years it feels like im being slowly surrounded by negativity and evil, like demons are stalking their prey (im the prey).
I try every day to be positive and not do anything bad and i dont even kill cockroaches ya know i pick em up and put em outside i exercise and eat a healthy diet and i try to do everything right by the lord but nothing seems to be changing i dont know what to do. Im not living here im barely surviving. Im cant keep hanging on to life only to be suffering i dont know what to do.
Im so alone and afraid of everything im so sad and tired i dont know what to do i feel like the lord wants me to kill myself.
Im not perfect but, i do good, do good, do good.. then things get so hard i go out and drink poison on average 1 time a month and completely destroy myself its like a routine im in. I think i do this because the couple hours i am drinking its like relief and care free but then back to the same suffering and sadness that i feel.
I dont even know why im writing all this i hate telling people that im having a hard time and that im such a sad person but things are so tough lately and i think im losing hope in the lord, im losing hope in everything im losing reality and i think ive already lost myself i dont know who i am anymore. Im on the edge and dont know how much longer i can hang on i think im writing this incase someone out there has maybe been through similar things or maybe someone has some advice idunno im sick of all this suffering and hope theirs a cure.

 

[BrotherD]

Hey i dont know what to do any more ive been very religious and spiritual my whole life but things arnt getting any better i have been suffering for 11 years. I pray daily for a miracle, i pray to just be happy and to be myself but nothing seems to be working. I want to live but for years it feels like im being slowly surrounded by negativity and evil, like demons are stalking their prey (im the prey).
I try every day to be positive and not do anything bad and i dont even kill cockroaches ya know i pick em up and put em outside i exercise and eat a healthy diet and i try to do everything right by the lord but nothing seems to be changing i dont know what to do. Im not living here im barely surviving. Im cant keep hanging on to life only to be suffering i dont know what to do.
Im so alone and afraid of everything im so sad and tired i dont know what to do i feel like the lord wants me to kill myself.
Im not perfect but, i do good, do good, do good.. then things get so hard i go out and drink poison on average 1 time a month and completely destroy myself its like a routine im in. I think i do this because the couple hours i am drinking its like relief and care free but then back to the same suffering and sadness that i feel.
I dont even know why im writing all this i hate telling people that im having a hard time and that im such a sad person but things are so tough lately and i think im losing hope in the lord, im losing hope in everything im losing reality and i think ive already lost myself i dont know who i am anymore. Im on the edge and dont know how much longer i can hang on i think im writing this incase someone out there has maybe been through similar things or maybe someone has some advice idunno im sick of all this suffering and hope theirs a cure.

I understand you fully. The problem that we have and i say we because i still struggle internally at times, is letting go of self completely and letting Christ take control of our lives. I came across this yesterday, may it bless you as it is still blessing me to be free in Christ.

As the flower turns to the sun, that the bright beams may aid in perfecting its beauty and symmetry, so should we turn to the Sun of Righteousness, that heaven’s light may shine upon us, that our character may be developed into the likeness of Christ. SC 68.2

Jesus teaches the same thing when He says, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in Me.... Without Me ye can do nothing.” John 15:4, 5. You are just as dependent upon Christ, in order to live a holy life, as is the branch upon the parent stock for growth and fruitfulness. Apart from Him you have no life. You have no power to resist temptation or to grow in grace and holiness. Abiding in Him, you may flourish. Drawing your life from Him, you will not wither nor be fruitless. You will be like a tree planted by the rivers of water. SC 68.3

Many have an idea that they must do some part of the work alone. They have trusted in Christ for the forgiveness of sin, but now they seek by their own efforts to live aright. But every such effort must fail. Jesus says, “Without Me ye can do nothing.” Our growth in grace, our joy, our usefulness,—all depend upon our union with Christ. It is by communion with Him, daily, hourly,—by abiding in Him,—that we are to grow in grace. He is not only the Author, but the Finisher of our faith. It is Christ first and last and always. He is to be with us, not only at the beginning and the end of our course, but at every step of the way. David says, “I have set the Lord always before me: because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.” Psalm 16:8. SC 69.1

Do you ask, “How am I to abide in Christ?” In the same way as you received Him at first. “As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in Him.” “The just shall live by faith.” Colossians 2:6; Hebrews 10:38. You gave yourself to God, to be His wholly, to serve and obey Him, and you took Christ as your Saviour. You could not yourself atone for your sins or change your heart; but having given yourself to God, you believe that He for Christ’s sake did all this for you. By faith you became Christ’s, and by faith you are to grow up in Him—by giving and taking. You are to give all,—your heart, your will, your service,—give yourself to Him to obey all His requirements; and you must take all,—Christ, the fullness of all blessing, to abide in your heart, to be your strength, your righteousness, your everlasting helper,—to give you power to obey. SC 69.2

Consecrate yourself to God in the morning; make this your very first work. Let your prayer be, “Take me, O Lord, as wholly Thine. I lay all my plans at Thy feet. Use me today in Thy service. Abide with me, and let all my work be wrought in Thee.” This is a daily matter. Each morning consecrate yourself to God for that day. Surrender all your plans to Him, to be carried out or given up as His providence shall indicate. Thus day by day you may be giving your life into the hands of God, and thus your life will be molded more and more after the life of Christ. SC 70.1

Ellen White Steps to Christ

 

[Cursed111]

hey i thank you for responding to me something i never thought would happen people always just ignore me which is pretty sad, so getting a response feels good.
And thanks for all the kind words i do try and live a righteous life i just dont know what to do ive read all the good words and watched the god motivational videos and stuff like that but still feel so consumed by this evil energy (sometimes worse then others) but yeah i just dont know what to do i feel i need to do more then just reading bible quotes and praying that god will help me. I feel im in some sort of spirtiual war.
I pray that you find inner peace i pray that i find inner peace well i pray that everyone finds inner peace haha.

 

[Albion]

Hi "Cursed," and welcome to the forums. It sounds to me that you try to live a disciplined, ethical life, but it's entirely personal. Have you considered committing yourself to more of a cause--some charitable work or church work, for example?

This could bring you more into the circles in which other people operate, show you the effects of your actions upon other people, and make you part of some team that is dedicated to whatever cause you have chosen.

 

[paul1149]

Hi bro,

A lot of what you wrote centers around your efforts - to do good, to ask for healing. And then periodically you collapse from all the weight and binge on something bad. That is an understandable release from a weight you cannot carry.

Have you tried resting in the Lord? His work is completed, and when we are in Him our striving in our own strength is over. As you spend time in His presence you realize that all the curses this world would put on you are a morning vapor that cannot abide. By resting you will gain the comfort, assurance, and strength you need to combat this thing positively and decisively.

His power is perfected in weakness (2Cor 12), and when we are weak we can come to Him honestly and draw on His strength. He does not want you to suicide. He created you in love, and then saved you in love, and He still has plans for you. When we are stripped of all our strength we can still hold onto our faith, and that is enough to give us the victory.

HTH.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Hey i dont know what to do any more ive been very religious and spiritual my whole life but things arnt getting any better i have been suffering for 11 years. I pray daily for a miracle, i pray to just be happy and to be myself but nothing seems to be working. I want to live but for years it feels like im being slowly surrounded by negativity and evil, like demons are stalking their prey (im the prey).
I try every day to be positive and not do anything bad and i dont even kill cockroaches ya know i pick em up and put em outside i exercise and eat a healthy diet and i try to do everything right by the lord but nothing seems to be changing i dont know what to do. Im not living here im barely surviving. Im cant keep hanging on to life only to be suffering i dont know what to do.
Im so alone and afraid of everything im so sad and tired i dont know what to do i feel like the lord wants me to kill myself.
Im not perfect but, i do good, do good, do good.. then things get so hard i go out and drink poison on average 1 time a month and completely destroy myself its like a routine im in. I think i do this because the couple hours i am drinking its like relief and care free but then back to the same suffering and sadness that i feel.
I dont even know why im writing all this i hate telling people that im having a hard time and that im such a sad person but things are so tough lately and i think im losing hope in the lord, im losing hope in everything im losing reality and i think ive already lost myself i dont know who i am anymore. Im on the edge and dont know how much longer i can hang on i think im writing this incase someone out there has maybe been through similar things or maybe someone has some advice idunno im sick of all this suffering and hope theirs a cure.

I have found that going out for coffee occasionally with a local Pastor or Elder brings much solid straight from the Bible wisdom.

God puts them here to help us.

M-Bob

 

[dogs4thewin]

Welcome hope you enjoy your stay.

 

[Deade]

Hello cursed,
welcome to CF.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay here. Do not apply the permanent solution to a temporary problem. I will pray for you.

 

[Richard Mulcahy]

Hey i dont know what to do any more ive been very religious and spiritual my whole life but things arnt getting any better i have been suffering for 11 years. I pray daily for a miracle, i pray to just be happy and to be myself but nothing seems to be working. I want to live but for years it feels like im being slowly surrounded by negativity and evil, like demons are stalking their prey (im the prey).
I try every day to be positive and not do anything bad and i dont even kill cockroaches ya know i pick em up and put em outside i exercise and eat a healthy diet and i try to do everything right by the lord but nothing seems to be changing i dont know what to do. Im not living here im barely surviving. Im cant keep hanging on to life only to be suffering i dont know what to do.
Im so alone and afraid of everything im so sad and tired i dont know what to do i feel like the lord wants me to kill myself.
Im not perfect but, i do good, do good, do good.. then things get so hard i go out and drink poison on average 1 time a month and completely destroy myself its like a routine im in. I think i do this because the couple hours i am drinking its like relief and care free but then back to the same suffering and sadness that i feel.
I dont even know why im writing all this i hate telling people that im having a hard time and that im such a sad person but things are so tough lately and i think im losing hope in the lord, im losing hope in everything im losing reality and i think ive already lost myself i dont know who i am anymore. Im on the edge and dont know how much longer i can hang on i think im writing this incase someone out there has maybe been through similar things or maybe someone has some advice idunno im sick of all this suffering and hope theirs a cure.

Hello new member,

I pray that you will receive cure. I know what you are going through. As far as binge drinking goes I've got the t-shirt! Know that you are not alone.

When I was 25 I knelt down and prayed to God to please make me sober. Well 2 to 3 months later I quit alcohol and my life has blossomed since. It's been 20 years now that I am sober and I am so grateful that God intervened in my life.

There's a whole new world out there to be enjoyed. My life has been completely reformed. I am a new creation in Christ.

God heal you and bless you... Amen.

 

[Richard Mulcahy]

A prayer

Hello new member,

I pray that you will receive cure. I know what you are going through. As far as binge drinking goes I've got the t-shirt! Know that you are not alone.

When I was 25 I knelt down and prayed to God to please make me sober. Well 2 to 3 months later I quit alcohol and my life has blossomed since. It's been 20 years now that I am sober and I am so grateful that God intervened in my life.

There's a whole new world out there to be enjoyed. My life has been completely reformed. I am a new creation in Christ.

God heal you and bless you... Amen.

A prayer for you:

Psalm 23
1
Psalm 23 A psalm of David.
1
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3
he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [1] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.