Hello everyone. My wife has Alzheimer's.

[sprucebruce]

I am my wife's primary caregiver. I'm with her 24/7 and do a good job of caring for her.
I cook, clean, do laundry and help her dress, shower and just about everything for her.

Recently, I've decided to reach out on social media and find someone with whom I could have meaningful adult conversations, get out of the house once in a while and, since my own marriage is like taking care of a small child than being a husband, some intimacy.

I met a wonderful woman who fulfills all the above and even helps care for my wife.
I've told a few of my friends and our kids, who readily accepted her.
A few church people asked "What about your marriage vows"? I really don't know what to say.

Is it that horrible to try to take care of myself while caring for a woman I still love dearly but who, sometimes, doesn't even know my name?
Caregivers often die of a broken heart and extreme stress before the patient does. I do not want to be the second victim of this horrible disease but I always want to do what is right for my wife, first, myself and my friend who, I feel, would make a wonderful wife down the road.

 

[Tigger45]

Welcome to CF!

You are in a tough situation but it would be best to wait for your spouse to pass and then look to a new relationship.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Hi and welcome here.

 

[maintenance man]

Is it that horrible to try to take care of myself while caring for a woman I still love dearly but who, sometimes, doesn't even know my name?

Welcome to CF!

I can't begin to answer your question.

My mother had Alzheimer's and in her last months I was a complete stranger to her. Every time I visited she was meeting me for the first time. I praise God you are able to take care of your wife in a loving way. What you do beyond that is between you and God. Blessings!

 

[ObjectiveTruth]

Exodus 20:14

You must wait until your current wife passes before marrying another woman.

 

[sunshine100]

Hello and welcome

 

[sprucebruce]

Exodus 20:14

You must wait until your current wife passes before marrying another woman.

What? Of course I'm not going to marry as long as my beloved wife is alive! Not only would I ever consider that but, I'm sure you've heard that bigamy is illegal.
Perhaps you might want to read my post again.

 

[Dansiph]

I am my wife's primary caregiver. I'm with her 24/7 and do a good job of caring for her.
I cook, clean, do laundry and help her dress, shower and just about everything for her.

Recently, I've decided to reach out on social media and find someone with whom I could have meaningful adult conversations, get out of the house once in a while and, since my own marriage is like taking care of a small child than being a husband, some intimacy.

I met a wonderful woman who fulfills all the above and even helps care for my wife.
I've told a few of my friends and our kids, who readily accepted her.
A few church people asked "What about your marriage vows"? I really don't know what to say.

Is it that horrible to try to take care of myself while caring for a woman I still love dearly but who, sometimes, doesn't even know my name?
Caregivers often die of a broken heart and extreme stress before the patient does. I do not want to be the second victim of this horrible disease but I always want to do what is right for my wife, first, myself and my friend who, I feel, would make a wonderful wife down the road.

I am sorry and I hope you find strength from using this site. Welcome

 

[Kosher Salt]

Hey,, WELCOME, Im new here,, I too am in the caring for the wife situation. Not yet to the point you are.
yet still I see my own needs being ignored.
I totally get it.
I stumbled accross a thing one day.
I said, God, I need a break. The next day,, The sky and my schedule were clear........
No, I know its not a bowl of cherries, or ice cream, I know.
I have a big shoulder and I feel for you, and her.
You have a good wife, God gave her to you, now you are balanced, when you see the load on your other shoulder, you will understand.
Some day, I hope you and I can talk AIRPLANES

 

[ObjectiveTruth]

Recently, I've decided to reach out on social media and find someone with whom I could have meaningful adult conversations, get out of the house once in a while and, since my own marriage is like taking care of a small child than being a husband, some intimacy.

Adultery is still a sin.

 

[Kosher Salt]

sprucebruce,,, We are two in the same boat.
Anytime you want to visit, and if you are in Utah, I buy you lunch.
I do not have privileges to PM you or I would send you my email.

 

[Southernscotty]

Standing in prayer here friend, I am sorry to hear this of your dear wife and this must be so painful.
I imagine you will receive a lot of opinions here, However God and your heart should lead you.
I respect your decision to take care of your precious wife during this and pray that God gives you much strength and joy in your heart.
Blessings

 

[Mario David]

Welcome!

I am sorry about your wife, value the little times when she does know who you are. As to what you are seeking with another women is wrong. Sometimes to your wife you might be a stranger but to you she a stranger is not.

 

[Stone-n-Steel]

Welcome. My grandmother went through a long bout of Dementia while I took care of her. It's rough but you can make it with some good Christian support and a lot of Grace from the Lord.

 

[Plant Man]

I am my wife's primary caregiver. I'm with her 24/7 and do a good job of caring for her.
I cook, clean, do laundry and help her dress, shower and just about everything for her.

Recently, I've decided to reach out on social media and find someone with whom I could have meaningful adult conversations, get out of the house once in a while and, since my own marriage is like taking care of a small child than being a husband, some intimacy.

I met a wonderful woman who fulfills all the above and even helps care for my wife.
I've told a few of my friends and our kids, who readily accepted her.
A few church people asked "What about your marriage vows"? I really don't know what to say.

Is it that horrible to try to take care of myself while caring for a woman I still love dearly but who, sometimes, doesn't even know my name?
Caregivers often die of a broken heart and extreme stress before the patient does. I do not want to be the second victim of this horrible disease but I always want to do what is right for my wife, first, myself and my friend who, I feel, would make a wonderful wife down the road.

It’s over two years since you posted this. Where are you now? You could be describing me! I’ve been caring for my wife at home since her diagnosis at 50yrs old, 7years ago. We were HS sweethearts raised 3 children and love one another still. She hasn’t been able to speak, dress, feed or toileting for three years. Any people on this form who equally compare having an aunt or grandparent with Alz to spouses caring for Early On Set patients have no clue.
People would ask me how my wife is and up until a month ago I’d say “living the vows”. Last week I asked a loyal friend of hers if she would consent to pursuing a relationship with me. Ephraim Cutler said it best, It eloquently described how I am feeling, “It is with great difficulty I presume to address you on a subject which to me is of the highest importance…. I am at this time destitute of that solace of the heart a female friend to whom I can disclose my cares or who can alleviate my sorrows, assuage my grief or share my joys. The author of our natures has given your sex the most unlimited facilities and powers in all those respects and has said that it is not good for a man to be alone. I am not insensible of the hard terms which I have to offer you and in consequence a total rejection of my suit is what I have a right to expect…. I have nothing to give as a compensation for this but my love and respect, but I find the impetuosity of my passion has carried me too far. I wll then only ask the favor to address you and cultivate an acquaintance. As I am very anxious to know my fate I must ask the favor that you will condescend so much as to convey to me your sentiment in such a way as you may think proper.”
After much being discussion and lots of ground rules we will be entering this relationship. It is agreed My wife will come first for both of us. Loyalty as a friend and spouse. I’m well aware many will condemn me as a sinner, adulterer! My vows to my wife are not being abandoned but there is someone invited in to my world to potentially love me support me and that has been absent for so long. Sinner saved by Grace.

 

[Plant Man]

I am my wife's primary caregiver. I'm with her 24/7 and do a good job of caring for her.
I cook, clean, do laundry and help her dress, shower and just about everything for her.

Recently, I've decided to reach out on social media and find someone with whom I could have meaningful adult conversations, get out of the house once in a while and, since my own marriage is like taking care of a small child than being a husband, some intimacy.

I met a wonderful woman who fulfills all the above and even helps care for my wife.
I've told a few of my friends and our kids, who readily accepted her.
A few church people asked "What about your marriage vows"? I really don't know what to say.

Is it that horrible to try to take care of myself while caring for a woman I still love dearly but who, sometimes, doesn't even know my name?
Caregivers often die of a broken heart and extreme stress before the patient does. I do not want to be the second victim of this horrible disease but I always want to do what is right for my wife, first, myself and my friend who, I feel, would make a wonderful wife down the road.

It’s over two years since you posted this. You could be describing me! I’ve been caring for my wife at home since her diagnosis at 50yrs old, 7years ago. We were HS sweethearts raised 3 children and love one another still. Any people on this form who equally compare having an aunt or grandparent with Alz to spouses caring for Early On Set patients have no clue. People would ask me how my wife is and up until a month ago I said “living the vows”. Last week I asked a loyal friend of hers if she would consent to pursuing a relationship with me. Ephraim Cutler said it best “

 

[Joined2krist]

It’s over two years since you posted this. Where are you now? You could be describing me! I’ve been caring for my wife at home since her diagnosis at 50yrs old, 7years ago. We were HS sweethearts raised 3 children and love one another still. She hasn’t been able to speak, dress, feed or toileting for three years. Any people on this form who equally compare having an aunt or grandparent with Alz to spouses caring for Early On Set patients have no clue.
People would ask me how my wife is and up until a month ago I’d say “living the vows”. Last week I asked a loyal friend of hers if she would consent to pursuing a relationship with me. Ephraim Cutler said it best, It eloquently described how I am feeling, “It is with great difficulty I presume to address you on a subject which to me is of the highest importance…. I am at this time destitute of that solace of the heart a female friend to whom I can disclose my cares or who can alleviate my sorrows, assuage my grief or share my joys. The author of our natures has given your sex the most unlimited facilities and powers in all those respects and has said that it is not good for a man to be alone. I am not insensible of the hard terms which I have to offer you and in consequence a total rejection of my suit is what I have a right to expect…. I have nothing to give as a compensation for this but my love and respect, but I find the impetuosity of my passion has carried me too far. I wll then only ask the favor to address you and cultivate an acquaintance. As I am very anxious to know my fate I must ask the favor that you will condescend so much as to convey to me your sentiment in such a way as you may think proper.”
After much being discussion and lots of ground rules we will be entering this relationship. It is agreed My wife will come first for both of us. Loyalty as a friend and spouse. I’m well aware many will condemn me as a sinner, adulterer! My vows to my wife are not being abandoned but there is someone invited in to my world to potentially love me support me and that has been absent for so long. Sinner saved by Grace.

Ask God for grace to handle the difficulties you face, He knows the best way, try not to let yourself be led into committing sin. God bless you

 

[Deade]

I am my wife's primary caregiver. I'm with her 24/7 and do a good job of caring for her.
I cook, clean, do laundry and help her dress, shower and just about everything for her.

Recently, I've decided to reach out on social media and find someone with whom I could have meaningful adult conversations, get out of the house once in a while and, since my own marriage is like taking care of a small child than being a husband, some intimacy.

Hello SBruce, welcome to CF.
I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

View attachment 300583

 

[Deade]

It’s over two years since you posted this. You could be describing me! I’ve been caring for my wife at home since her diagnosis at 50yrs old, 7years ago. We were HS sweethearts raised 3 children and love one another still. Any people on this form who equally compare having an aunt or grandparent with Alz to spouses caring for Early On Set patients have no clue. People would ask me how my wife is and up until a month ago I said “living the vows”. Last week I asked a loyal friend of hers if she would consent to pursuing a relationship with me. Ephraim Cutler said it best “

Hello Plant Man, welcome to CF.
I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

View attachment 300583

 

[JoelQ]

Look into a book called "plant paradox" (I think the full title is much longer) by steven gundry to deal with autism. I worry I'll be blasted for being a heretic for thinking outside the box, but most of these long term degenerative disorders are continuously fed via a diet. Also a "bad diet" isn't what whoever experts say it is. There is no good diet advice coming from officialdom.