Head believes; heart does not; how should I then live?

[Ugly jerky heathen]

I very much believe the Bible intellectually, and know it reasonably well for an unbeliever (reading through it roughly every 8 months), yet I clearly do not have saving faith, as amply demonstrated by my thoughts, attitudes, actions, inactions, and the responses of other believers toward me in person. Or to put it differently, my head believes, yet my heart does not.

But I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it.

Complicating this is the fact that I'm such an awful person that NO ONE, Christian or not, wants to be around me. I am largely isolated as a result. What little interaction I have with other people happens almost exclusively online. Further complication: I don't control any of our family's finances or other resources, and hence can't give to worthy individuals or causes as I would like.

So how do I live during whatever time I have left?

How do I do the best I can toward God and those around me, without inflicting myself upon them?

(Disclaimer: I hold to biblical, Protestant, Reformed theology, so telling me to "just believe" or to do some other work whereby I might become saved is not going to be useful . . . Eph. 2:8-10.)

Thank you.

 

[dqhall]

I very much believe the Bible intellectually, and know it reasonably well for an unbeliever (reading through it roughly every 8 months), yet I clearly do not have saving faith, as amply demonstrated by my thoughts, attitudes, actions, inactions, and the responses of other believers toward me in person. Or to put it differently, my head believes, yet my heart does not.

But I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it.

Complicating this is the fact that I'm such an awful person that NO ONE, Christian or not, wants to be around me. I am largely isolated as a result. What little interaction I have with other people happens almost exclusively online. Further complication: I don't control any of our family's finances or other resources, and hence can't give to worthy individuals or causes as I would like.

So how do I live during whatever time I have left?

How do I do the best I can toward God and those around me, without inflicting myself upon them?

(Disclaimer: I hold to biblical, Protestant, Reformed theology, so telling me to "just believe" or to do some other work whereby I might become saved is not going to be useful . . . Eph. 2:8-10.)

Thank you.

You might pray for God to guide your studies. Some became scholars that way.

If God seems unavailable, you might seek more sources in search of God.

One needs a calling.

 

[Ugly jerky heathen]

I will do that, but my scholarly days are probably past, due to severe short-term memory loss. I am not sure what further sources exist beyond the Word of God, but I do recognize that since I lack the indwelling Holy Spirit I probably do not understand it nearly as well as I should.

 

[Sanoy]

I very much believe the Bible intellectually, and know it reasonably well for an unbeliever (reading through it roughly every 8 months), yet I clearly do not have saving faith, as amply demonstrated by my thoughts, attitudes, actions, inactions, and the responses of other believers toward me in person. Or to put it differently, my head believes, yet my heart does not.

But I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it.

Complicating this is the fact that I'm such an awful person that NO ONE, Christian or not, wants to be around me. I am largely isolated as a result. What little interaction I have with other people happens almost exclusively online. Further complication: I don't control any of our family's finances or other resources, and hence can't give to worthy individuals or causes as I would like.

So how do I live during whatever time I have left?

How do I do the best I can toward God and those around me, without inflicting myself upon them?

(Disclaimer: I hold to biblical, Protestant, Reformed theology, so telling me to "just believe" or to do some other work whereby I might become saved is not going to be useful . . . Eph. 2:8-10.)

Thank you.

I wish I could call you something other than your forum name. Well OP, I could have just as well written that myself. Probably most of us feel just this way. You don't speak like a non Christian, from your heart you say exactly what we should see from a Christian "I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it." That is the outpouring from which a man walks away justified (Luke 18:9-14). Your heart felt declaration puts me and many to shame. I fail constantly OP, and in Romans 7 Paul speaks of a divide in us, where we both have a body that desires sin and spirit that wants what is good. He further describes this situation as being chained to a dead body which was a Roman punishment. But he does not say this is overcome in life, but in death. We are all failing and falling short of what we want to be, and if any of our lives were examined, as you examine your own, we would say the same.

But the faith that leads to salvation is this, trusting that Jesus rose from the dead, will forgive you of your sins, and raise you from death to new life. Salvation does not come through perfection achieved by your will, it comes because your heart passionately sought God's nature as you declare in what I have quoted.

 

[SkyWriting]

I very much believe the Bible intellectually, and know it reasonably well for an unbeliever (reading through it roughly every 8 months), yet I clearly do not have saving faith, as amply demonstrated by my thoughts, attitudes, actions, inactions, and the responses of other believers toward me in person. Or to put it differently, my head believes, yet my heart does not.

But I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it.

Complicating this is the fact that I'm such an awful person that NO ONE, Christian or not, wants to be around me. I am largely isolated as a result. What little interaction I have with other people happens almost exclusively online. Further complication: I don't control any of our family's finances or other resources, and hence can't give to worthy individuals or causes as I would like.

So how do I live during whatever time I have left?

How do I do the best I can toward God and those around me, without inflicting myself upon them?

(Disclaimer: I hold to biblical, Protestant, Reformed theology, so telling me to "just believe" or to do some other work whereby I might become saved is not going to be useful . . . Eph. 2:8-10.)

Thank you.

You are saved as long as you accept forgiveness for your imperfections.
If you snub forgiveness, then you are damned.

 

[aiki]

I very much believe the Bible intellectually, and know it reasonably well for an unbeliever (reading through it roughly every 8 months), yet I clearly do not have saving faith, as amply demonstrated by my thoughts, attitudes, actions, inactions, and the responses of other believers toward me in person. Or to put it differently, my head believes, yet my heart does not.

A common problem - even among those claiming to be born-again Christians.

But I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it.

And what part of you desires these things?

Complicating this is the fact that I'm such an awful person that NO ONE, Christian or not, wants to be around me. I am largely isolated as a result.

Well, God is in the business of making awful people more like Himself.

We reap what we sow. If one is awful to others, one ends up alone.

So how do I live during whatever time I have left?

Live in the way the Bible prescribes: Matthew 22:36-38.

How do I do the best I can toward God and those around me, without inflicting myself upon them?

Matthew 16:24-25
Romans 6:1-18
Romans 12:1

God doesn't want your best. It will never be good enough. Instead, He wants you to be a vessel in whom and through whom He communicates Himself.

I hold to biblical, Protestant, Reformed theology,

As one who held to Calvinist doctrine for decades but no longer does, I would urge you to abandon Reformed theology.

www.soteriology101.com
www.reasonablefaith.org (search "Molinism")

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I very much believe the Bible intellectually, and know it reasonably well for an unbeliever (reading through it roughly every 8 months), yet I clearly do not have saving faith, as amply demonstrated by my thoughts, attitudes, actions, inactions, and the responses of other believers toward me in person. Or to put it differently, my head believes, yet my heart does not.

But I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it.

Complicating this is the fact that I'm such an awful person that NO ONE, Christian or not, wants to be around me. I am largely isolated as a result. What little interaction I have with other people happens almost exclusively online. Further complication: I don't control any of our family's finances or other resources, and hence can't give to worthy individuals or causes as I would like.

So how do I live during whatever time I have left?

How do I do the best I can toward God and those around me, without inflicting myself upon them?

(Disclaimer: I hold to biblical, Protestant, Reformed theology, so telling me to "just believe" or to do some other work whereby I might become saved is not going to be useful . . . Eph. 2:8-10.)

Thank you.

If I were you, I'd work on implementing various virtues in my life and in my self, not the least of which would involve the further study of ethics or the further study of "virtue epistemology," especially in view of the fact that any of us who even attempt to be Christians should be concerned about how our theories or head knowledge (or supposed head knowledge---'cuz some of it it ain't really that) then synthesizes in our brains with our actual human practice.

Just some friendly advice. Any questions?

 

[BigV]

I very much believe the Bible intellectually, and know it reasonably well for an unbeliever (reading through it roughly every 8 months), yet I clearly do not have saving faith, as amply demonstrated by my thoughts, attitudes, actions, inactions, and the responses of other believers toward me in person. Or to put it differently, my head believes, yet my heart does not.

But I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it.

Complicating this is the fact that I'm such an awful person that NO ONE, Christian or not, wants to be around me. I am largely isolated as a result. What little interaction I have with other people happens almost exclusively online. Further complication: I don't control any of our family's finances or other resources, and hence can't give to worthy individuals or causes as I would like.

So how do I live during whatever time I have left?

How do I do the best I can toward God and those around me, without inflicting myself upon them?

(Disclaimer: I hold to biblical, Protestant, Reformed theology, so telling me to "just believe" or to do some other work whereby I might become saved is not going to be useful . . . Eph. 2:8-10.)

Thank you.

I recommend you check out the concept of inner passivity at www.whywesuffer.com.
Releasing Inner Passivity | WhyWeSuffer.com

I'm by no means an expert, but having been a Christian and now an Atheist I can relate with the feeling of doom and gloom. As a Christian, I used to fret over not really being saved, of being punished by God for my sins. As an Atheist, I have experienced the existential dread, the depressing feeling of this life being all there is, and of having little to no control over the circumstances which especially flares up when going through a major medical issue for self or loved ones.

Point is, there is something in us that attaches to the negativity, regardless of religious affiliation.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I recommend you check out the concept of inner passivity at www.whywesuffer.com.
Releasing Inner Passivity | WhyWeSuffer.com

I'm by no means an expert, but having been a Christian and now an Atheist I can relate with the feeling of doom and gloom. As a Christian, I used to fret over not really being saved, of being punished by God for my sins. As an Atheist, I have experienced the existential dread, the depressing feeling of this life being all there is, and of having little to no control over the circumstances which especially flares up when going through a major medical issue for self or loved ones.

Point is, there is something in us that attaches to the negativity, regardless of religious affiliation.

There's also a separate "something" that causes some atheists to want to bend the rules ........ so maybe withdraw your "help" here, BigV.

 

[BigV]

There's also a separate "something" that causes some atheists to want to bend the rules ........ so maybe withdraw your "help" here, BigV.

What rule(s) do you think I've bent?

Also, you have an interesting quote by Blaise Pascal:

"I can feel nothing but compassion for those who sincerely lament their doubt, who regard it as the ultimate misfortune, and who, sparing no effort to escape from it, make their search their principal and most serious business." (Blaise Pascal)

Do you think that a bad answer, a wrongful conviction, are better than a search for the truth even if it cannot be satisfied?

 

[2PhiloVoid]

What rule(s) do you think I've bent?

Just the one that is presented in the Statement of Purpose for this section of the Forums. To save you time, I'll just paste it below and highlight the essential part that you're kind of not following:

Statement of Purpose for Struggles by Non-Christians:

The Struggles by Non-Christians is a forum where non-Christian members (see list under non-Christians at the bottom of this link) may share struggles of a personal nature, of understanding about God, requests for prayer, and similar topics may be posted here. Orthodox Christians may respond and provide prayer, feedback, support, and encouragement.

This is a no debate forum. Questions that ask to prove God, rather than serious inquiries about God or faith, are not permitted in this forum.
General Apologetics is not permitted here.

Only non-Christians may start threads here, and only orthodox Christians may reply to your thread. Christians (orthodox and unorthodox) may not start threads here.

If you are struggling and need additional support besides the support you are receiving here, you may post a thread in Ask A Chaplain. Note: There is both a public and private Ask a Chaplain forum depending upon your needs.

If struggling with depression, trauma, physical health issues, etc., you may want to check out the Recovery forums for additional support.

All site wide rules apply here, as well as guidelines of this Statement of Purpose. CF Rules can be found here by clicking this link.​

Also, you have an interesting quote by Blaise Pascal:

Do you think that a bad answer, a wrongful conviction, are better than a search for the truth even if it cannot be satisfied?

You pose a good question. Perhaps you or we can move it to another forum area? I'd be more than happy to chat with you since you're apparently somewhat new-ish to CF, if you wish to do so.

 

[Ugly jerky heathen]

I don't mean to cause trouble of any kind and if I've managed to do so already then I will leave. I'm very sorry.

 

[BigV]

I don't mean to cause trouble of any kind and if I've managed to do so already then I will leave. I'm very sorry.

You have nothing to apologize for, I'm the one who broke the rules. My bad. Live and learn, I guess.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I don't mean to cause trouble of any kind and if I've managed to do so already then I will leave. I'm very sorry.

No, you haven't caused any trouble. You have the right to express yourself and ask your questions here. No problem exists that I can see.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

You have nothing to apologize for, I'm the one who broke the rules. My bad. Live and learn, I guess.

Also, if you wish, I don't see any reason why you couldn't start your own thread in this section with the question you've posed to me. You have to right to interact here too, just within the proper guidelines.

 

[BigV]

Just the one that is presented in the Statement of Purpose for this section of the Forums. To save you time, I'll just paste it below and highlight the essential part that you're kind of not following:

Hey thanks for pointing this out. I noticed that I m locked out of "christian only threads" as far as posting replies so I'm surprised there are no such locks in here. I better read the rules more carefully, as it may be that I can only post questions but never give out any replies

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Hey thanks for pointing this out. I noticed that I m locked out of "christian only threads" as far as posting replies so I'm surprised there are no such locks in here. I better read the rules more carefully, as it may be that I can only post questions but never give out any replies

There are some sections where you can post more freely, like the Ethics and Science sections. There may be others. But yes, just check the rule guides first.

 

[eleos1954]

I very much believe the Bible intellectually, and know it reasonably well for an unbeliever (reading through it roughly every 8 months), yet I clearly do not have saving faith, as amply demonstrated by my thoughts, attitudes, actions, inactions, and the responses of other believers toward me in person. Or to put it differently, my head believes, yet my heart does not.

But I would very much like to live a life by means of which God might be glorified, His people edified, and His Gospel brought to those who need it.

Complicating this is the fact that I'm such an awful person that NO ONE, Christian or not, wants to be around me. I am largely isolated as a result. What little interaction I have with other people happens almost exclusively online. Further complication: I don't control any of our family's finances or other resources, and hence can't give to worthy individuals or causes as I would like.

So how do I live during whatever time I have left?

How do I do the best I can toward God and those around me, without inflicting myself upon them?

(Disclaimer: I hold to biblical, Protestant, Reformed theology, so telling me to "just believe" or to do some other work whereby I might become saved is not going to be useful . . . Eph. 2:8-10.)

Thank you.

Have you told Jesus you are sorry for your sins, asked Jesus with a sincere heart to please forgive you and asked Him to come into your life?

You stated you have a intellectual understanding of His Word ... that's good ... but you also need His Spirit working in you as well. Praying to Him daily, studying His Word daily ... that is .... a daily relationship with Him.

 

[BigV]

There are some sections where you can post more freely, like the Ethics and Science sections. There may be others. But yes, just check the rule guides first.

So, the question I posed about your Blaise Pascal quote. What's the ideal forum for that?

 

[Ugly jerky heathen]

No, you haven't caused any trouble. You have the right to express yourself and ask your questions here. No problem exists that I can see.

Because of me. This is what I do. I don't mean to, but everything I say or do ends up causing problems.