Just wondering if anyone here has had an experience where they visited a church and were told they weren't wanted, either overtly or otherwise.
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Whatever the reason, rejection hurts. How did you deal with that experience? Did you feel like God rejected you, too?
Not very strongly. Well, at least not usually among churches I only visited. I was made to feel uncomfortable a few times, I suppose based on how I dressed or maybe my apparent income level. It actually didn't bother me too much, and I never blamed God for that.
Oh, I do remember one that made me feel strange. I visited a new church, about 80 or 100 members, so I was noticeable I'm sure. They had a very LONG meet and greet at the beginning of the service, about 20 minutes, when everyone went around, shook hands, chatted, hugged, and all that. Not a single person spoke to me the entire time, and no one welcomed me at all. It made me extremely uncomfortable, and I didn't want to go back to that church after that. I still have no idea if it was something about me that made them act that way.
There were two churches I attended long term where something happened.
One I had begun to learn things that didn't square with the denomination, and it gradually became clear I couldn't stay. It's odd, because in that particular church, I'd always felt rejected on a personal level by the pastor. I once asked him a history question (he had a master's or doctorate in some kind of history) and it took him months to answer me, and he always seemed disdainful of me somehow and refused to allow me to have an additional Bible study my older students were asking for. The problems with the denominational beliefs didn't come in until after all the rest, so it wasn't that. But God made it plain to me that I would need to leave.
Another situation involved a woman in church leadership who hired me for a job, then kept "forgetting" to pay me and making excuses, lying to me, and even blaming me for checks that were supposedly lost in the mail. We really needed the income as my husband had been laid off, and I worked for her for almost a year and had been paid for only a few months. I finally spoke to church leadership (who were her parents), and eventually got paid, nearly two years later. But it really soured many of the relationships at that small family church for me, and at times I'd be ignored by them around town and such. I didn't blame God for that, but I was unable to worship under the woman's leadership (she was the church worship leader). It did leave a bad taste in my mouth, but I do understand that we all have weaknesses and failings, and I tried very hard not to be judgmental about it.
There was one other situation ... I went to a church and the people were fine, the church was fairly ok, and on the way out I got the very strong impression "you aren't needed here". I still have no idea why I felt that way. But there were a few little things about the church's beliefs that didn't sit exactly right with me, so I just kept looking. That may or even may not have been God, what an odd thing for Him to say? But I didn't feel rejected by Him on that one either.
I really, really want to stress ... people fail, in many ways and for many reasons. Christians fail one another too. I understand why it feels like "God" but please don't ever feel as though God rejected you, treated you badly, or whatever based on what people do - even God's people. I see it happen so much, and the ones that get hurt are the ones that suffer for it, since God is the only one that can make it right.
