I was baptised 3 years ago, went to church for 1 year, did everything as a good christian should, but... after this one year I felt away. Main reason for my bad behaviour was sin of lust. I was searching for a girlfriend to date and marry after some years but I couldn't find any and became desperate in my sexual needs. I started to watch inappropriate contentography recklessly for six hours straight every weekend, I wasn't attending church, praying - I backslid into my old ways. I watched inappropriate content with a thought that god allows me to do so, that I'm special (Did I comited blasphemy against the Holy Spirit?)
Hebrews 10:26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
I was getting interested into occult and creating tulpa as my girlfirend. Tulpa are hallucinations made by imagination... It's in occult.
I had bad ideas about myself that I'm a jew(but I'm not) that I can do sins without repeting and God would still forgive me, because I'm special in his eyes. I fell into self-deception of pride, because I wanted to commit sin of lust badly and get away with it.
I'm struggling for almost a year now with panick attacks and inability to stay still. One year ago I wasn't able to defecate, I thought I'm going to die and sought God with all my heart, I cried as I wanted to repent. I go to church now for a year, do conffesions, taking eucharist but can I be saved? Did God forgive me for my sins?
Hebrews 6:4 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
5 And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,
6 If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.
Last summer I had demonic attack to my smartphone, It was showing me some horrific stuff and that I'm going to end up in hell. Possesed buttons pushing itself without my interaction.
Can I still be saved? Can I go to heaven?
Hebrews 10:26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
I was getting interested into occult and creating tulpa as my girlfirend. Tulpa are hallucinations made by imagination... It's in occult.
I had bad ideas about myself that I'm a jew(but I'm not) that I can do sins without repeting and God would still forgive me, because I'm special in his eyes. I fell into self-deception of pride, because I wanted to commit sin of lust badly and get away with it.
I'm struggling for almost a year now with panick attacks and inability to stay still. One year ago I wasn't able to defecate, I thought I'm going to die and sought God with all my heart, I cried as I wanted to repent. I go to church now for a year, do conffesions, taking eucharist but can I be saved? Did God forgive me for my sins?
Hebrews 6:4 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
5 And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,
6 If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.
Last summer I had demonic attack to my smartphone, It was showing me some horrific stuff and that I'm going to end up in hell. Possesed buttons pushing itself without my interaction.
Can I still be saved? Can I go to heaven?