Nope. According to Romans 8:38
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.
I am a believer in once saved, always saved. There are definitely some who would argue with that. But personally, I believe we are all sinners, all the time. What Christ did for us on the cross saves us from all our sin in the past, the present AND THE FUTURE.
Find a good fellowship and keep on keeping on, dude.
I used to believe in once saved always saved. While I still do, I think it needs to be refined. As most people say it today as more of a vague cliche.
However:
Matthew 7:21 - Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven
will enter. 22 Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many a]">[
a]miracles?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.
Why would one say "Lord, Lord" UNLESS one recognized Him as savior?
Luke 6:46 - Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? 47 As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. 48 They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49 But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”
True, none are EVER perfect. However there is a difference between willfully accepting sin under the deception of it being "okay" because we will never be perfect. We, no matter HOW far our walk with the Lord will stumble into sin, even daily. It is why we need to pick up our cross and follow Christ daily.
I DONT believe that one simply prays the prayer and they are saved even while they continue to walk in rebellion to the Spirit they claim.
That is NOT to say that the OP has "blown it" in my belief, we only "blow it" when we stop persuing him (Or as the Bible says "Keep fighting the good fight".
I think I best saw it once put "Obedience is not an act of salvation, simply a byproduct of it." Meaning that we aren't obedient because we are "good" and deserve salvation. Simply because we have a relationship to Christ and as with any friend or loved one..... you aren't going to actively continue to seek ways of doing wrong to them (Sinning against our God) again, obedience isn't a sign of perfection as even the most devoted sins more than once a day. Whether it be the eyes, the tongue, the mind or even the heart..... there is sin waiting to happen in all of us. If there werent then one would be able to claim their own "goodness" saves them.
Again, the fact that the OP has stated they worry about their salvation shows that God has not hardened their heart and they have not yet "blown it"........ but that doesn't mean that there wont come a day where they DO blow it and God hands them over to their sin and allows their heart to be hardened.
I believe once saved always saved is true.... as long as one is TRULY walking with and in relationship with Jesus. I believe however that the "vague" once saved always saved message is a dangerous one if it neglects to mention that sin needs to be dealt with in the heart. Yes, if one can lose their salvation it lacks peace, but then IF Jesus died so that one could say a prayer and then continue to live like the devil (As we all do by nature of the flesh) then why not go that one extra tiny step and make it so that ALL are saved.... not just die so that all "MIGHT" be saved?
The simple truth is, its NOT about the legalistic view of God we should focus on but relationship to Christ.... even the devil knows the Bible so simply knowing isn't going to cut it. If you have relationship, true relationship to Christ.... He will not see you as lukewarm and spit you out. Revelation 3:16.
Nor will He say "Depart from me I never knew you". Because YOU will belong to Him and then as you stated: Romans 8:38.
Im not saying you are wrong, God knows my views were EXACTLY as yours were before this year...... but I have had my eyes opened with scripture and I say this as more food for thought rather than to force my beliefs on you or anyone else. All any of us can do is listen to the Spirit of He who is in us to reveal truths to us in time.
I too was also as the OP and sinning, willfully for many years so I claim no judgement on him.(Fornication, theft, drugs both selling and using......)
I say what I say out of love and not judgement so those that read it may think about what they truly believe and not just believe in as I have heard it said "Hyper grace" that makes clean those that willfully continue in their sin. (IE - "I want to lust after this or that person.... its okay cause Im only human." Instead of "Lord, Im sorry I had feelings of lust in my weak flesh." (Not a great example, but I think you can get the difference between the two. One sees what they did in weakness is wrong..... the other is rebellious and says in their actions "sin is okay". When God clearly states.... it isn't. )
Again OP I don't believe that you have "blown it" but I DO think you should humble yourself and take your sins to the Father so He can forgive you. It's NOT an easy struggle, but I truly believe that it IS worth it. Our flesh is but dust, our pleasures only temporary. It really comes down to, do you want the things of the flesh or the things of God? Its not easy to deny our own wicked flesh, but I DO believe it is how we hear and find relation in Christ, even in our stumbling into sin, our heart still remains on Him and not that of our flesh.