- Nov 27, 2018
- 13
- 14
- 29
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
I’ve been a Christian my whole life and at 16 it became my own. I loved Jesus I listened to the Holy Spirit and he guided me. Scriptures were opened up to me and I understood.
At 17 I slowly started falling into sexual sin. I was homeschooled and never really got exposed to anything so I went off the deep end. I wasn’t having sex but I was doing things like, sending/receiving nude pictures, sometimes meeting up with girls and making out and other sexual things. There were many times I would repent and ask for forgiveness because I knew it was wrong.
At a point I got super depressed and only was happy if I filled my addiction. I eventually doubted god’s existence and felt lost. After a few months I started listening to Christian apologists and my faith slowly started to come back and finally I was confident in the truth. I still struggled with sin but I realized I didn’t feel as bad after doing it.
I knew on an intellectual level it’s wrong but I didn’t feel the strong urges from the spirit like I used to. Either I have pushed out the Holy Spirit too much to where he left or I just need to spend time with God and he will start showing me how to live a righteous life. I got out of a relationship earlier this year because we were sexually active and I knew it was wrong. I’ve had two slip ups with someone else but never went very far. For a month I’ve been clean of everything except looked up inappropriate content once. I’ve determined to kick EVERY willful sin that I know of. I’m searching for god and I’m scared it’s too late. When Jesus talks about blasphemy of the Holy Spirit in the 3 gospels it sounds like he’s saying if you attribute the work of the Holy Spirit to satan when you know that’s a lie then that’s blasphemy. But so many people think it can also be just a continual rejection of the Holy Spirit speaking to you. My dad is adamant that’s it’s only speaking evil of the Holy Spirit but it’s hard for me to know for sure. I’ve talked with a lot of people including my pastor and some think it’s completely and continually rejecting the Holy Spirit until it’s too late but they don’t think I’ve gone that far.
Honestly I’m scared I have though and I don’t know what to do. I don’t believe OSAS is biblical to be honest and I’ve studied it a lot. I know for a fact I was saved though. I don’t know if something like the prodigal son is for me or if Jesus just meant that for people who were never saved. Also I’m 24 now.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
At 17 I slowly started falling into sexual sin. I was homeschooled and never really got exposed to anything so I went off the deep end. I wasn’t having sex but I was doing things like, sending/receiving nude pictures, sometimes meeting up with girls and making out and other sexual things. There were many times I would repent and ask for forgiveness because I knew it was wrong.
At a point I got super depressed and only was happy if I filled my addiction. I eventually doubted god’s existence and felt lost. After a few months I started listening to Christian apologists and my faith slowly started to come back and finally I was confident in the truth. I still struggled with sin but I realized I didn’t feel as bad after doing it.
I knew on an intellectual level it’s wrong but I didn’t feel the strong urges from the spirit like I used to. Either I have pushed out the Holy Spirit too much to where he left or I just need to spend time with God and he will start showing me how to live a righteous life. I got out of a relationship earlier this year because we were sexually active and I knew it was wrong. I’ve had two slip ups with someone else but never went very far. For a month I’ve been clean of everything except looked up inappropriate content once. I’ve determined to kick EVERY willful sin that I know of. I’m searching for god and I’m scared it’s too late. When Jesus talks about blasphemy of the Holy Spirit in the 3 gospels it sounds like he’s saying if you attribute the work of the Holy Spirit to satan when you know that’s a lie then that’s blasphemy. But so many people think it can also be just a continual rejection of the Holy Spirit speaking to you. My dad is adamant that’s it’s only speaking evil of the Holy Spirit but it’s hard for me to know for sure. I’ve talked with a lot of people including my pastor and some think it’s completely and continually rejecting the Holy Spirit until it’s too late but they don’t think I’ve gone that far.
Honestly I’m scared I have though and I don’t know what to do. I don’t believe OSAS is biblical to be honest and I’ve studied it a lot. I know for a fact I was saved though. I don’t know if something like the prodigal son is for me or if Jesus just meant that for people who were never saved. Also I’m 24 now.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.