A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a flyswatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh!,Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females", he replied.
Intrigued, she asked."How can you tell?"
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone".
Chap walked into the doctors with a lettuce leaf hanging out of his bottom. Doctor says oh dear I can see this is only the tip of the iceberg!!
Tecnical titters....
Home is where you hang your @.
The email of the species is deadlier than the mail.
You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
There's no place like http://www.home.com.
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane" and every year Edna would say, "I know Fred but that airplane costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said "Edna I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride
and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Fred and Edna agreed and up they go.
The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all of his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Fred , "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Fred replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Edna
fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan
with some collateral.
The frog says "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Pattie explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
you're gonna love this) its a real treat) masterpiece) (wait for it)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
It's a knick-knack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh!,Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females", he replied.
Intrigued, she asked."How can you tell?"
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone".
Chap walked into the doctors with a lettuce leaf hanging out of his bottom. Doctor says oh dear I can see this is only the tip of the iceberg!!
Tecnical titters....
Home is where you hang your @.
The email of the species is deadlier than the mail.
You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
There's no place like http://www.home.com.
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane" and every year Edna would say, "I know Fred but that airplane costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said "Edna I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride
and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Fred and Edna agreed and up they go.
The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all of his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Fred , "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Fred replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Edna
fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan
with some collateral.
The frog says "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Pattie explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
you're gonna love this) its a real treat) masterpiece) (wait for it)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
It's a knick-knack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
to brighten up a grey and dull Thursday =).
