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Has This Happened To You?

Discussion in 'Bipolar Disorder' started by quietpraiyze, Sep 8, 2012.

  1. Jer

    Jer Contributor

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    Loven God

    I am very lucky to have it. My boss asked to come and speak to my psychologist to be able to find out more about it, and if there's stuff that helps/ things to avoid. I just read about your old boss and how he mistreated you. I'm really sorry to hear about that. I hope things go better in the future, if you do go for another job, or stay out of work.

    Quietpraiyze

    Yeah, so often mental illness is only bad stuff. I guess a lot of the time it can be, but for us there are also some benefits. I guess when people see benefits they just assume it's someone being "normal" rather than unnormal, but good! I'm certainly not brilliant though, :p

    Loven God (again!)

    I think we are blessed in different ways, and each person has just enough stuff they need. Although I have a good boss, I think some of my family don't get it, like yours. They just think I'm overreacting or something. My mum is ok though, but I struggle to talk about it with her. I'm so glad about your husband - that's fantastic to hear. I just lost my best friend due to bipolar stuff - it was why I was diagnosed actually. We'd been going out, but stopped around a year ago due to me causing problems. We were still best friends, and some of the times were good after. But it all went horribly wrong, and I so I hurt too much. I know now that it's best we're not together, and probably not friends too, since she's very stable, and so finds it very hard with the ups and downs. I really miss her so much though. So I'm very glad you've had someone who has been able to stick by you through everything, :)
     
  2. Loven God

    Loven God Regular Member

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    It hurts becouse my mom does not want to talk about it becoue we were so close at one time we could talk about anything .I was happy that my husband loved me enough to live with a bipolar person . It reminds me of Christ's perfect love for us . I am sorry that your friend was not able to understand bipolar enough to know that you were not acting out on purpose and that it was the illness . Some times people know that know that but just can't handle it . Well I hope you can find someone that one day will be with you forever and you will have a good strong relationship .
     
  3. raggedycamel

    raggedycamel Goodbye

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    My brother denies that I have any type of mental illness. But he's trying to diagnose himself by "studying" the Psychology for dummies book :doh: He believes he has Borderline Personality.

    Me = :confused:
     
  4. raggedycamel

    raggedycamel Goodbye

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    I don't think I'm smart enough sometimes. There's always something new or different to examine in life.

    Forgive me about the IQ thing. I didn't understand that, But I do now. I always thought before that someone's IQ and mental illness went hand in hand. But Thank you :) I appreciate you clue-ing me in :wave:

    -Alex
     
  5. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Everything began with a voice, use yours Supporter

    +6,530
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    yeah most of my psychology is a mixture of balanced mental "illnesses" restored by love. so yeah . i think i know what you mean. my current thing i'm dealing with is how all the subconscious "noise" of people .. floods my mind and body. but that's coming to resolution too . at least that's the way it appears.
     
  6. Loven God

    Loven God Regular Member

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    Family and friends can be that way , they are scared that if we touch them they will become bipolar too . They don't see the hurt it couses us becouse they have not walked in our shoes . I just pray that one day people will have an understanding about bipolar and be willing to let us be more opened about it with out judgeing us .
     
  7. Jer

    Jer Contributor

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    No, don't get me wrong, she wasn't like that. She doesn't understand some of it, and has said that. It was just that there was far too much damaged caused by the time when I was bipolar, that destroyed all the trust and good stuff. Ironically now that I am more stable and out of the relationship I am loving her more (in actions - which is the real love) by giving her the space she needs.

    I met her today as I thought it would be good to try and make sure everything is dealt with as best as it can be - that we both have said sorry and forgiven each other for the things we feel we should say sorry for, and that the other person feels they were hurt by. I know she has a lot to deal with - she's still dealing with a lot of this - especially someone breaking her trust - and also stuff at work. So she's having back muscle problems from the stress. So I thought today would help a little, but most of the time is it best for her to have her own space. But she has been amazing through all of this. I have learned so much about love and forgiveness through her - I couldn't have asked for anyone better to be honest.

    (Can you tell I'm not over her? :p)
     
  8. Loven God

    Loven God Regular Member

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    It is great that that you are giving her the space she needs and that you still can talk . That is a blessing there in it's self .
     
  9. quietpraiyze

    quietpraiyze In The Secret Place

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    I think it's wonderful that you have someone who married you knowing you had this illness and has stayed with you through it all. I was engaged to be married before I had my first episode. When I got sick, the person acted like he had never known me. Back then I was a walking throbbing sore. I had so many losses it didn't even make sense. Since then I've had many proposals but I just never felt like they really understood the illness. So I couldn't trust that they would stay after an episode. Also it took me almost 10 years before I really understood the illness, meds, etc. I didn't think it was right to drag somebody through that. I don't know...maybe that first rejection stung me more than I was willing to admit...hmmmm....I've always been amazed by Joni Erickson's situation and by people who marry into such situations.
     
  10. Loven God

    Loven God Regular Member

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    I was scared of the same thing , educating them about it before the marrage is the key and making then understand they will have no idea what it will be like until they see it and leting them see it and help you through it before marraige will give you a good idea if they can handle it and they have to understand this is something that won't go away it is a life time illness . I turned my husband down 4 times before I said yes , I need to know he was ready as well as myself .
     
  11. Jer

    Jer Contributor

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    I guess I kind of said some of the stuff in one of the other threads, but I have decided in future that I really want someone that I am dating to go through at least 1 depression and 1 mania period, so they know what they are getting into. I had been thinking that I wouldn't go out with anyone again after the last relationship, and what I did. It wouldn't be fair on them. But when talking to others they have often said there is a lot of people who go on to have good marriages and lives - so it is possible. I just think it's super important to be completely honest (for example when it's getting more serious share some of the worst things that have actually happened to you, so they know the possibilities) and for them to see the ups and downs.
     
  12. Loven God

    Loven God Regular Member

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    You can have a good relationship or even mariage . My husband and I do . I know he goes through a lot with me but he is willing to do that , and there will be someone for you too . But you do need to be honest abut it all . It was hard for me to tell my husband but he had the right to know and it helped him to understand it more and when he saw it it helped him to know what he could or not do for me . He said the hardest thing for him is he feels helpless when he can not help . I had to make him understand that there will be lots of times he can't help me , that there is even times I don't know what to do for myself let alone tell him what he can do to help . So I would let the person know there maybe times they may feel helpless becouse they can't help . Just saying that becouse of what my husband said was his biggest struggle . Are marraige has been one of 33 years and still going strong . My husband all ways tells me he wants to grow old with me . He is sweet .
     
  13. Jer

    Jer Contributor

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    That's fantastic to hear, :)

    I think for us guys it is one of the hardest things to not be able to help when we want to save the other person from pain. It's even worse if we think we caused it, and wish we could do anything to take it away, but know we can't.
     
  14. Jer

    Jer Contributor

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    Even writing that little bit there has started me crying, wishing I could take all the pain that I gave my ex. It's not easy.
     
  15. Loven God

    Loven God Regular Member

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    There are somethings we just can't take back all we can do is ask for foregiveness . It is normal to be sad over the things we can't fix. Know God loves you and has forgiven you . Just talk to your ex and let her know you are sorry and if you could take it all back you would . Tell her you have asked God to forgive you now you would like her foregiveness .
     
  16. Jer

    Jer Contributor

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    It's ok, she knows and has forgiven me. Just it's still hard to know what I did.
     
  17. Loven God

    Loven God Regular Member

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    If she has forgiven you , now you need to work on forgivening yourself :)
     
  18. quietpraiyze

    quietpraiyze In The Secret Place

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    I really understand what you're saying here. For the last two years I've had someone who wants to marry me. We get along in every day life so well. He's 53 and I'm 50. There's only one problem, he thinks there's nothing wrong with me that a little tender loving care can't fix! I've tried to tell him, but he has no frame of reference for the illness. So even though he continues to ask me to marry him, I'm pretty sure that won't be happening. Instead we'll just have to be really good friends. That is the one thing I do like. Our friendship has blossomed in a way that I think is really wonderful. So that's a good thing. Maybe this is as good as it gets for me...I don't know....

    Wow I didn't know until writing this just how intense this whole issue is for me.
     
  19. quietpraiyze

    quietpraiyze In The Secret Place

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    Even though I'm not talking about an ex. I relate to it being hard talking about this stuff because I never talk about it.
     
  20. Loven God

    Loven God Regular Member

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    I would not marry him until he knows this is a life time illness that is not going away . If you get married he may feel that it is his fault that he can not make it go away . Now fault of his just the way the illness is and if he can not understand it now getting married now will not be good , but the bright side is keep talking to him about it keep trying to educate him on it , have him look it up on the wed , read books . the more he starts to understand then the more he will see love will not make it go away but he still can love you and that will help but not cure it . I hope one day there will be marriage for you two , but until then enjoy the relationship .
     
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