Has religion made you shun Christianity?

[Starcrystal]

I was turned off to the religion of Christianity by being involved in strict Fundamentalist churches, and by watching the abuse within them. For people willing to follow their theology and rules of behavior to the letter, I suppose it can be a support system. In other words, so long as you adhere to their rules you will be an insider with insider benefits. But step outside their theology or rules (including where you go, what you wear, and particular behaviours) and you will be shunned. At first they say you're backslidden or fallen from grace and "encourage" you to return to their path. they say they're praying for you. But if you persist operating outside of their rules you can be shunned or even cast out of the church. Some of these rules involved radical political involvement and activism, men having to wear short hair, women having to wear dresses and not pants, women couldn't wear jewelry or makeup, TV sets weren't allowed...

The whole scene was one of legalism and had nothing to do with Gods love or forgiveness. Although there was a form of spirituality, and even spiritual manifestations, these were interpreted according to their theology and personal experience was often questioned as to whether it was of God or not.
They also centered a lot of things on money. If you were poor or unemployed you were accused of either being in sin or not having enough faith. Usually the leaders of these churches were rich and their congregations were relatively poor. the leadership required people to give 10% of their income or more to the church, even if it meant bills would go unpaid. They said God would provide where we lacked. Funny that didn't seem to provide numerous people with necessary funds and they had to go on welfare or file bankrupsy!

John 4 tells us to worship God in Spirit and in truth. I think legalism & emphasizing the "prosperity doctrine" quenches the spirit and brings people into spiritual and physical bondage. Such things are a major turn off. For those who have left such churches, we are considered part of the "great falling away" or apostacy. Well, I maintain a relationship with God - one that I had nearly lost by being involved in such churches. The churches in question ranged from Pentecostal, to Baptist, and non-denominational.

 

[dews]

I would tend to agree with you Star Crystal. When my wife and i were youth pastors in our pentacostal church, we taught the kids the Gospel without all of the religion and denominational doctrine and were quickly labelled as being in rebellion. We taught the kids that God is their Father and that He loves them unconditionally and that your works or deeds or goodness doesn't bring any more or less favour from God. The youth group became so real that on a given Saturday night, the youth would often worship until 2-3:00 in the morning. The next morning, (Sunday) I would routinely get in trouble because the kids slept in and were too tired to come to church. I coud not understand the problem. They were in church for hours the previous night, but that just wasn't enough to prove how much they loved God. We saw youth fall deeply in love with Jesus when all the other stuff (religion, or legalism) was stripped away. Anyway long story short , my family and I haven't attended what most would determinr to be a church in 5 years. We have visited many churches, but the same legalism has been the constant everywhere we have went. One thing though, we haven't stopped loving God and worshipping Him. He is more involved in our lives now than ever before.

 

[g4goddess]

hi i understand your question and wanted to share this with you.

when i was young we went to a happy little United Church. then my parents divorced and in reaction to this, my mother and sister became deeply involved in the Pentacostal/Charismatic movement. talk about a culture shock! i was very unhappy *sigh* I felt judged because i didn't speak tongues, didn't prophesy, didn't operate in spiritual "gifts". That was a lot of pressure to put on someone so young. I was made to feel inferior. They would sneer at me for wearing pants or makeup, i'd be lectured about reading science fiction or watching tv and movies, for listening to the radio (satan projects himself over the air, apparently). it got to be a little bit much. on the opposite end, i had my father telling me that that "black book" (aka bible) was going to make me go crazy. he grew up jewish but left it behind long ago and was agnostic or atheist (still not sure on that one).

When i reached the age of 18, I was told i could make my own choices, so i left those churches and attended a baptist church for a while - mostly because i was still living at home, and was told i had to go somewhere to church. but i eventually drifted away during college, moved out and grew interested in other forms of spirituality - none of which i regret as i learned things about myself. it's only recently, within the last 2 years that i have approached christianity again - mostly due to a very strong, personal experience that i had.

its really hard. its not Jesus or the Bible that I doubt, but like you, other people who profess christianity and can act so hatefully. my experiences did a lot of damage and its been a struggle to overcome. i feel filled with dread because i don't want to be judged and hurt again.

so for now i keep things simple, read my bible. i have started to attend a church, a baptist based independant one. but i honestly don't want to get very involved, just attend anonymously and hope that i'm invisible.

the only other thing i can say is good for you in exploring your options and being open minded. i hope you find your path.

 

[morningstar2651]

I do not shun Christians.

 

[morningstar2651]

...religion shouldn't make you do anything.

 

[Bevlina]

Positively true morningstar. No religion should force another person to do anything, and I don't believe any Christian Religion does. But, there are some people who are very, very religious, and they could turn a person away from Christianity. I have seen that happen sadly enough.

 

[Bevlina]

I was turned off to the religion of Christianity by being involved in strict Fundamentalist churches, and by watching the abuse within them. For people willing to follow their theology and rules of behavior to the letter, I suppose it can be a support system. In other words, so long as you adhere to their rules you will be an insider with insider benefits. But step outside their theology or rules (including where you go, what you wear, and particular behaviours) and you will be shunned. At first they say you're backslidden or fallen from grace and "encourage" you to return to their path. they say they're praying for you. But if you persist operating outside of their rules you can be shunned or even cast out of the church. Some of these rules involved radical political involvement and activism, men having to wear short hair, women having to wear dresses and not pants, women couldn't wear jewelry or makeup, TV sets weren't allowed...

The whole scene was one of legalism and had nothing to do with Gods love or forgiveness. Although there was a form of spirituality, and even spiritual manifestations, these were interpreted according to their theology and personal experience was often questioned as to whether it was of God or not.
They also centered a lot of things on money. If you were poor or unemployed you were accused of either being in sin or not having enough faith. Usually the leaders of these churches were rich and their congregations were relatively poor. the leadership required people to give 10% of their income or more to the church, even if it meant bills would go unpaid. They said God would provide where we lacked. Funny that didn't seem to provide numerous people with necessary funds and they had to go on welfare or file bankrupsy!

John 4 tells us to worship God in Spirit and in truth. I think legalism & emphasizing the "prosperity doctrine" quenches the spirit and brings people into spiritual and physical bondage. Such things are a major turn off. For those who have left such churches, we are considered part of the "great falling away" or apostacy. Well, I maintain a relationship with God - one that I had nearly lost by being involved in such churches. The churches in question ranged from Pentecostal, to Baptist, and non-denominational.

Very interesting post Starcrystal. Thankyou!

 

[Starcrystal]

Bevlina,

Very interesting post Starcrystal. Thankyou!

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.
________________

I included part of your sig in the quote because that's exactly where I found many of those churches lacking. The "love" seemed to be in word only but not in deeds. James talks about showing faith by our works. In other words, good works and love will (should be) a natural outcome of our faith.
Yet many churches I was involved in during my fundamentalist years would love only on condition. I've seen members with real needs turned away with "I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll be praying for you." James says if someone is in need of daily food you shouldn't say "Depart and be warm and filled" but you should give them the things necessary for their body. I've seen people hungry and homeless that are turned away just like this. Sure, prayer works and it helps, but if someone obviously has the means to provide a need themselves, they should provide it as well as pray.
At one point I had needs and a few people in the church helped me out. The leaders of the church rebuked both me and them! They said the church was a "business" and like a business they couldn't operate in the "red" and if members gave money to someone that it was taking away from the church! These are the kind of people who somehow believe if a person finds themselves in a jam like being unemployed, homeless, or sick, that they have lost their faith or are in some kind of sin. (I think in most cases it's the economy or employers who are the cause of unemployment - and especially if the hurting member is genuinely looking for work as I was they should not be judged for being unemployed!)
I've seen so much of this hypocritical behaviour by church leaders that it disgusts me. Not only have I been victim to this abuse but I've watched it happen to others as well. I remember being unemployed and living in a tent and if I had a little money I would give to someone who had less than I did if they asked. So what was the pastors excuse? Why were church members left to walk miles in the pouring rain to get home while the church cliches banded together in their nice cars and vans, then passed the less fortunate without so much as offering a ride? I had a little junky car with my belongings piled up in it, and I'd give people rides - even strangers.
I'm not saying this to boast that I did something the pastors didn't so I'm better than them. I just did those things because it's part of my nature, and it's what the Bible says real Christians do. I don't do them to earn any favor with God. And maybe I do them because some folk have helped me when I've needed it - some have been Christians and some have been pagans, but very few have been pastors and church leaders. I've found the church leadership to be very stuck up and snobbish, almost bourgeois that look down their noses at the less fortunate.
I wonder what God thinks of this sort of thing?

 

[dews]

I think we need to look only to Jesus' exampoe when He preached. He was most harsh upon the pharisees and laeders at that time due to the culture of hypocrisy. I think that today, the same attitude is re-emerging that has turned our churches in businesses and country clubs. At the same time I am meeting more people that want nothing but Jesus. The legalism, the membership, the denominations, are too much of a burden on people. Jesus came to remove that very burden but Christians continually take it back up and encourage others to do so as well. I am not trying to be negative but I am tired of people being so badley hurt whie the offenders do so in the name of Jesus. I am not turned off Christianity and I believe much of what we see today as being Christianity is not Christianity at all. Churches wonder why many are not coming and why many are turned away from God. I think it is clearly because of what I have said.

 

[jer36v3]

Yes my research of christianity made me doubt the existence of any god in the Davidic context. When I encountered Religious people who want me to put aside my reason and ignore obvious lies, I wanted to make those liars and fools leave me alone.

Researching early judahism brought me into a deep appreciation and love of the god of israel. Now I am looking for others who search the Scriptures carefully to know gods will and who know much of the alledged scriptures are the words of men.

 

[JesseBassett]

Hi, I know how you feel. Right now I am so mad at how Christians treat non-believers it makes me sick. So yes, I know what you mean.

 

[Baldur]

Yes, Religion has made me shun Religion.

I grew up in a number of Evangelical churches, and was frequently around Evangelical missionaries as well. I attended Christian schools and a prestigious Christian college.

I always had trouble with the irrationality of many religious people, but being immersed in the environment, and relying on the few rational believers, I kept up my belief for a long time.

Finally, though, I discovered that many of the beliefs I had been taught were based on lies or distortions, or a clear misunderstanding of the facts. I always had trouble with the way that many Christians were willing to admit that polygyny was not opposed to God's law, but acted as if it was. I recall reading a book by missionaries who spoke glowingly of forcing a man to divorce his wife before he could join the church - here they were, opposing the law of God, to enforce their own law - and they were happy to boast about it.

I also discovered just how deeply Creationists misunderstand what Evolutionary theory is. It was bad enough to discover that virtually all the facts they had given me were demonstrably false, but to discover that they didn't even know what they were opposing - it certainly did not fill me with confidence in their intellect.

And then, I saw a prayer request turn into a report of a miracle, right in front of me in the vestibule of a church. It was like a game of "telephone", where one person whispers to another, to another, to another, and at the end the result is nothing like the original - except that it all happened within my sight and hearing in the space of a few minutes. These people were not crazed zealots - they were reasonably well educated, ordinary church-goers - and I understood clearly how reasonable, honest men in ancient times could all come to believe in miracles, each believing that their trustworthy neighbor had been the witness.

On top of all this, I became increasingly detached from the community as I observed many Christians who not only failed to live up to their beliefs, but condemned those who attempted to. As I came to discover my sexual orientation (I'm a girl lover), I drifted even further apart from those who would condemn Love. Of course, in this latter respect, I have drifted apart from virtually every community, religious and secular, because as the scapegoat du jour I find condemnation everywhere, and in turn have been able to see clearly the bankruptcy of all religions and ideologies.



Baldur