blitzn
God is my Strong Tower
Wow, your story does sound very much like what I am going through with my wife, pretty amazing. I have felt so alone (except for the Lord of course) in the type of situation that I'm in because it's so complicated; it's a blessing to see someone who has been there and has fought through it with the Lord.water_ripple said:ouch. a small light does shine through the darkness..at least you guys are still talking. Brightly infact that she is aware that she knows what she's doing is wrong..Neglecting your role as spiritual head of the household huh? I accused my hubby of that at first, but if it were not for him I might not be where I am today...Sometimes that requires steadfast prayer in the face of an impending divorce...it worked for us. And I bet that same conflict of pain you have is similar somewhat to my hubby's conflict when I "ran away" from the pain..At that time though both of us were hurting, and I was so mad at him..O yes I am quite responsible for our problems as well (which I always used to blame on him..and judge him for he could not live up to the expectations I held in high regard for myself). All along infact he has been the spiritual head of the family..but now I feel a push in the Spirit to be closer to the Lord..I cannot leave him behind..
Now I face the consequences for running over his spiritual position in the household..I want to start going to church, and at the present time he's like no way am I going to a church..I have my own relationship with God, and I do not need anyone teaching me dogma..What can I do..I have done enough damage already. I have resolved to go myself first to this new church, and take the kids to Sunday School. I think perhaps this one is best done through very quiet and considerate action. It has nothing to do with dogma, but going in faith to further heal the relationship through Christ. Perhaps he will come to my baptisim..a bit of light in the darkness? Ah look at me going on..
blitzin I am giving in faith the blessings others have given me. I pray that peace be upon you in this hour of deep need, and that Christ touch the heart of your wife. In Jesus Christ's name..Amen.
So your husband doesn't want to go to church because of "dogma"? Not to sound harsh, but that sounds kind of immature honestly. There are very good reasons why Jesus created the church and to me, dogma has nothing to do with anything. Avoiding teachings that are not based on the Bible and delivered via the Holy Spirit is every believer's responsibility (to the best of each person's ability). You look for a church, you go and listen to the Word as taught by the pastor, you check his teaching against the Word of God, etc. Pretty easy, although it's also easy if you stop going to church, to sort of get into a "rut" and have a hard time physically getting up early on Sunday to go. It takes a bit of discipline, but well worth the effort. Christians need to be fed the Word of God and it's very bebeficial to fellowship with others who hold the same beliefs; it builds our faith in God. My wife hasn't gone to our church since the end of last June; when she left me, she just stopped going and now says that she can't go because too many people know what's going on with her and I, and it's my fault. I did tell a couple of mutual friends (in confidence) what was going in the beginning of all this, because I was reaching out to everyone I thought she might listen to in the hope that she would change her mind. She refuses to listen to anyone, if you can believe that, even our pastor and her counselor whom she had been seeing for a few years and now rarely goes to see. Strange isn't it? I have since then apologized to our mutual friends for burdening them with the information that I shared with them, but I really did need help, my whole world was turned upside down. I'm more numb to the feelings now but they come and go, especially when I talk to or see my wife. I have told my wife for the past few months that if/when she changes her mind that I will be there for her; I don't talk badly about her and never have, and I told her that I have and I will defend her and stand by her despite what has happened. She would not be going back to "face" everyone alone, I will be there in front of her to protect her from that garbage, if it should manifest - I love my wife. She's not interested (yet).
Anway, regarding your husband, I don't have to tell you - do not give up! Pray fervently for him, win him with your smile and your love. Be careful about going to church without him, it may alienate him further...An approach you might consider would be to agree to stop going to church without your husband because you respect him as the head of your house, but express to him how important it is to you that you receive the Word and fellowship and that you really want to be together; perhaps he could give the church a try because he loves you, or perhaps a church of his choosing at least? Share your heart...
Thank you for the blessings, I was wondering how those got there! I tend to type fewer posts, but they're pretty long, and consequently don't get many blessings from the "system". Thank you and I'll be praying for your family. Thank you for your prayer.
- blitzn
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