Hello, everyone...
Mine is a long story, but please read it...
I don't have an official AS diagnosis, but after having read a lot about it i'm pretty sure i'm an aspie. my disorder causes many troubles in my everyday life, and thus in my Christian life, too. I always mess everything up at work, due to my inability to concentrate on things and to work hard on things which are of no personal interest to me. I fail to do many important tasks beacause of my forgetfulness, lazyness and clumsiness.. and my stupid shyness is another great problem. E.g. if i have to tell some important thing to an employee, i can stand before his or her door for several minutes and then turn and go, just because i can't remember his or her name and don't know how to adress him or her and think it would be inappropriate to ask what his/her name is. I deal with video editing, and recently I found out that a dvd that i've made half a year ago, was actually blank though having its name printed on it, and a box with printed cover. and the project was erased long time ago so there's nothing i can do about it. and i can't remember if i've made any extra copies... and such things happen quite often... my dad is a christian and also my boss. otherwise i would be fired long ago, or never get this job actually. when i fist read about AS and realised i had it, i told him, but he didn't believe it and said that i'm just a lazy and selfish swine and never care about the others hence all these problems of mine...and he's right in a way beacause my disorder often makes me act like this, but i never wanted to be like this! i was a "little professor" kind of boy when i was a child, and i even went to school a year earlier than kids here in Russia do (at 6, not at 7), so no one can tell i have a mental disorder. but languages was the only thing i was really good at, anyway, and i do really stupid things when working with all kinds of electronic equipment...
Well, the point is that my AS actually makes me sin... It seems to that i don't love anyone but myself, cause it often seems i don't care about people though i never mean to hurt anyone... and i can't be a good worker anyway which is also a sin... I'm not yet baptised because i can't change my ways and bear any fruits of repentance...
And all the time i feel like i'm being controlled and don't belong to myself.. just don't have any power to do what i know is right... and sometimes I feel that what i'm going to do is defeinitely wrong and stupid, but i just don't know the right way..
I know from the Bible and the Screwtape Letters that the devils do exist, and i think that aspergers is their work... but in times When Jesus came it seemed obvious that a person was obsessed with devils and there are many examples of Jesus and His disciples chasing them out... but nowadays it seems that Christians never do it and try to fight devils with medicine... Aspergers is incurable as far as i know...
Well please share your thoughts on this topic, and i'll be very grateful if someone gives advice or simply prays for me...
Mine is a long story, but please read it...
I don't have an official AS diagnosis, but after having read a lot about it i'm pretty sure i'm an aspie. my disorder causes many troubles in my everyday life, and thus in my Christian life, too. I always mess everything up at work, due to my inability to concentrate on things and to work hard on things which are of no personal interest to me. I fail to do many important tasks beacause of my forgetfulness, lazyness and clumsiness.. and my stupid shyness is another great problem. E.g. if i have to tell some important thing to an employee, i can stand before his or her door for several minutes and then turn and go, just because i can't remember his or her name and don't know how to adress him or her and think it would be inappropriate to ask what his/her name is. I deal with video editing, and recently I found out that a dvd that i've made half a year ago, was actually blank though having its name printed on it, and a box with printed cover. and the project was erased long time ago so there's nothing i can do about it. and i can't remember if i've made any extra copies... and such things happen quite often... my dad is a christian and also my boss. otherwise i would be fired long ago, or never get this job actually. when i fist read about AS and realised i had it, i told him, but he didn't believe it and said that i'm just a lazy and selfish swine and never care about the others hence all these problems of mine...and he's right in a way beacause my disorder often makes me act like this, but i never wanted to be like this! i was a "little professor" kind of boy when i was a child, and i even went to school a year earlier than kids here in Russia do (at 6, not at 7), so no one can tell i have a mental disorder. but languages was the only thing i was really good at, anyway, and i do really stupid things when working with all kinds of electronic equipment...
Well, the point is that my AS actually makes me sin... It seems to that i don't love anyone but myself, cause it often seems i don't care about people though i never mean to hurt anyone... and i can't be a good worker anyway which is also a sin... I'm not yet baptised because i can't change my ways and bear any fruits of repentance...
And all the time i feel like i'm being controlled and don't belong to myself.. just don't have any power to do what i know is right... and sometimes I feel that what i'm going to do is defeinitely wrong and stupid, but i just don't know the right way..
I know from the Bible and the Screwtape Letters that the devils do exist, and i think that aspergers is their work... but in times When Jesus came it seemed obvious that a person was obsessed with devils and there are many examples of Jesus and His disciples chasing them out... but nowadays it seems that Christians never do it and try to fight devils with medicine... Aspergers is incurable as far as i know...
Well please share your thoughts on this topic, and i'll be very grateful if someone gives advice or simply prays for me...