Has anyone tried this? Please help

[Micha]

Hello everybody.

I have scrupulosity and my intrusive thought is that I am not “allowed” to think the thought: “I promise God to take the bus today” (this is an ongoing theme; making promises to God).

I have had these intrusive thoughts a long time and I am starting to learn that they are just thoughts.
I’m used to getting these pop-up thoughts but yesterday I suddenly felt like I wanted to think the thought on purpose eventhough it’s the one thought in the world I DON’T want to think of and I thought of it like five times but each time I ended the sentence with the thought “no” to like show my brain I didn’t mean it.
Now I feel like I have made a promise to God that was on purpose because I thought it on purpose and it didn’t just pop-up as I believe intrusive thoughts do so I don’t believe I can label this as intrusive when I thought of it myself?

Can you help me understand why I thought it on purpose and/or is it an intrusive thought?

Thank you so so much!!

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

Hello everybody.

I have scrupulosity and my intrusive thought is that I am not “allowed” to think the thought: “I promise God to take the bus today” (this is an ongoing theme; making promises to God).

I have had these intrusive thoughts a long time and I am starting to learn that they are just thoughts.
I’m used to getting these pop-up thoughts but yesterday I suddenly felt like I wanted to think the thought on purpose eventhough it’s the one thought in the world I DON’T want to think of and I thought of it like five times but each time I ended the sentence with the thought “no” to like show my brain I didn’t mean it.
Now I feel like I have made a promise to God that was on purpose because I thought it on purpose and it didn’t just pop-up as I believe intrusive thoughts do so I don’t believe I can label this as intrusive when I thought of it myself?

Can you help me understand why I thought it on purpose and/or is it an intrusive thought?

Thank you so so much!!

Note: I'm not a health professional of any kind.

That said, my guess would be that you probably did think the thought on purpose. OCD is a tricky monster to live with. I think that the thought has probably popped up so much in your mind that it's quite natural to think it on your own a few times.

God knows you have OCD and God cares. God knows when your thoughts are from OCD versus when they're truly your own.

If the thought that you thought on your own was a sinful one, ask God to forgive you for it. God loves you so much and wants you to turn to God.

Blessings.

 

[SkyWriting]

Hello everybody.

I have scrupulosity and my intrusive thought is that I am not “allowed” to think the thought: “I promise God to take the bus today” (this is an ongoing theme; making promises to God).

I have had these intrusive thoughts a long time and I am starting to learn that they are just thoughts.
I’m used to getting these pop-up thoughts but yesterday I suddenly felt like I wanted to think the thought on purpose eventhough it’s the one thought in the world I DON’T want to think of and I thought of it like five times but each time I ended the sentence with the thought “no” to like show my brain I didn’t mean it.
Now I feel like I have made a promise to God that was on purpose because I thought it on purpose and it didn’t just pop-up as I believe intrusive thoughts do so I don’t believe I can label this as intrusive when I thought of it myself?

Can you help me understand why I thought it on purpose and/or is it an intrusive thought?

Thank you so so much!!

God knows all about your situation and sees the intentions in your heart and does not judge you for making promises. God is all grown up and considerate.

I have a few methods for intrusive thoughts.
I've created these for sleep problems to get thoughts away.
One is to focus on a "Cloud" of any kind you wish. Whatever image of cloud you choose, just focus on the cloud. Any stray thoughts are new puffs of cloud that rise up and you just acknowledge they exist as a new puff and you reach out with your imaginary hand and smooooothe them out. Just run your hand back and forth, side to side smoothing them out and pushing them back down.

The other method is simply to understand that you need to focus on something in order to push out something you don't want. So have your favorite place in mind and when an intrusive thought comes, simply replace it with your favorite place. A beach or the sky or sitting on the grass watching the sun rise. Just use your favorite scene to nudge the intrusive thoughts out of your way.

An intelligent brain runs multiple ideas all at the same time. But you are only conscience of one at a time. This is normal.

 

[IAM815518]

Hello everybody.

I have scrupulosity and my intrusive thought is that I am not “allowed” to think the thought: “I promise God to take the bus today” (this is an ongoing theme; making promises to God).

I have had these intrusive thoughts a long time and I am starting to learn that they are just thoughts.
I’m used to getting these pop-up thoughts but yesterday I suddenly felt like I wanted to think the thought on purpose eventhough it’s the one thought in the world I DON’T want to think of and I thought of it like five times but each time I ended the sentence with the thought “no” to like show my brain I didn’t mean it.
Now I feel like I have made a promise to God that was on purpose because I thought it on purpose and it didn’t just pop-up as I believe intrusive thoughts do so I don’t believe I can label this as intrusive when I thought of it myself?

Can you help me understand why I thought it on purpose and/or is it an intrusive thought?

Thank you so so much!!

God understands you. I feel like I can relate to this so much times. What helps me is speaking scriptures aloud. When I’d feel I was going to go crazy with certain thoughts, I’d say:

“In Jesus name, peace be still,”

“In Jesus name, I forbid all ungodly thoughts.”

 

[Jh24]

The devil often uses our minds to confuse us, but as it says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" we must fight against these thoughts, and pray that the Lord will transform our minds to be obedient to Him. A wise man once told me that when we think those thoughts we have to rebuke them in Jesus name, throw them out of our minds and replace it with something that is good in Gods eyes, preferably a scripture. Hope this helps, have a blessed day in Jesus name.

 

[Zeri]

The devil often uses our minds to confuse us, but as it says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" we must fight against these thoughts, and pray that the Lord will transform our minds to be obedient to Him. A wise man once told me that when we think those thoughts we have to rebuke them in Jesus name, throw them out of our minds and replace it with something that is good in Gods eyes, preferably a scripture. Hope this helps, have a blessed day in Jesus name.

If you believe there is devil, he will control even your hand if you are going to kill somebody. I think people excuse their own evil deeds is called devil.

 

[Subaru17]

Hi,

Sorry to hear what you are going through, Its important to understand that OCD is a constantly changing and shifting issue. Its important to get proper help from a mental health professional and if you can guidance from someone in your church or a Christian in your life who understands mental health issues.

What you are describing is hallmark OCD. I presume that you were taking comfort in the fact that these thoughts were intrusive...and not yours, suddenly, OCD shifts and now it tries to make the thoughts feel like yours or on purpose.

I know that others on this forum may not agree with me, but while I think that leaning on God is our greatest source of strength and that we should use all of our tools available.. I would advise caution against a repetitive prayer or scripture recital, It can often become a compulsion.

Letting the thoughts come and go, medically speaking is the recommended solution. Your brain prioritizes and streams these thoughts based on your physical/mental/emotional response to them, which sends a flag to your brain. So when you respond in any kind of way to the thoughts, other than indifference you are teaching your brain to focus on them.

I am definitely not a medical professional and this is just my opinion based on my experience with Pure OCD related to intrusive "blasphemous" thoughts, vows etc.

 

[Micha]

Note: I'm not a health professional of any kind.

That said, my guess would be that you probably did think the thought on purpose. OCD is a tricky monster to live with. I think that the thought has probably popped up so much in your mind that it's quite natural to think it on your own a few times.

God knows you have OCD and God cares. God knows when your thoughts are from OCD versus when they're truly your own.

If the thought that you thought on your own was a sinful one, ask God to forgive you for it. God loves you so much and wants you to turn to God.

Blessings.

Thank you for your answer
It really is a tricky monster! I will keep what you said in mind. Thank you so very much!

 

[Micha]

God knows all about your situation and sees the intentions in your heart and does not judge you for making promises. God is all grown up and considerate.

I have a few methods for intrusive thoughts.
I've created these for sleep problems to get thoughts away.
One is to focus on a "Cloud" of any kind you wish. Whatever image of cloud you choose, just focus on the cloud. Any stray thoughts are new puffs of cloud that rise up and you just acknowledge they exist as a new puff and you reach out with your imaginary hand and smooooothe them out. Just run your hand back and forth, side to side smoothing them out and pushing them back down.

The other method is simply to understand that you need to focus on something in order to push out something you don't want. So have your favorite place in mind and when an intrusive thought comes, simply replace it with your favorite place. A beach or the sky or sitting on the grass watching the sun rise. Just use your favorite scene to nudge the intrusive thoughts out of your way.

An intelligent brain runs multiple ideas all at the same time. But you are only conscience of one at a time. This is normal.

Thank you very much for taking the time to answer me. So sweet of you ️

 

[Micha]

Hi,

Sorry to hear what you are going through, Its important to understand that OCD is a constantly changing and shifting issue. Its important to get proper help from a mental health professional and if you can guidance from someone in your church or a Christian in your life who understands mental health issues.

What you are describing is hallmark OCD. I presume that you were taking comfort in the fact that these thoughts were intrusive...and not yours, suddenly, OCD shifts and now it tries to make the thoughts feel like yours or on purpose.

I know that others on this forum may not agree with me, but while I think that leaning on God is our greatest source of strength and that we should use all of our tools available.. I would advise caution against a repetitive prayer or scripture recital, It can often become a compulsion.

Letting the thoughts come and go, medically speaking is the recommended solution. Your brain prioritizes and streams these thoughts based on your physical/mental/emotional response to them, which sends a flag to your brain. So when you respond in any kind of way to the thoughts, other than indifference you are teaching your brain to focus on them.

I am definitely not a medical professional and this is just my opinion based on my experience with Pure OCD related to intrusive "blasphemous" thoughts, vows etc.

Wow, thank you VERY much for this! It really helped!
I get professional help, thankfully but I only see her once a week and a lot of ocd can scare me throughout the week..

EXACTLY! Spot on! I took comfort in knowing they where intrusive thoughts because then they were “okay” (not “me” making them). Wow, you described it so well! May I ask if you have had ocd yourself or do you know anyone who has it since you know these accurate things?

I understand what you mean!
Right now these months when I’m having a tough time because of my ocd, I don’t read in my Bible because I’m afraid their might be triggers..
speaking of triggers: I once read one guy having the same issue as me with the vows and he said that he meant that SAYING the vow is more binding than THINKING them and that become a huge trigger to the extend that I was afraid to tall!! Today when I leave my thoughts alone, it’s like my ocd says “oh, damn it! Now she kraves the thoughts alone but remember the time you were afraid to talk?” and today it came back - I’m afraid to speak and move my lips
You know what I mean?

Today I decided to let my thoughts come and go and not label them anything - just thoughts. And my mind is already calmer. But it’s super hard to do because you wanna analyse all the time

I really hope to hear back from you And thank you!

 

[Subaru17]

Hi,

Glad to hear I could be of some help. Yes I do have OCD. I’ve been dealing with it for about 22 out of my 27 years. Started as a child with intrusive sexual thoughts, due to trauma. Morphed and changed from there. Now mostly Scrupulosity related to Blasphemous thoughts, vows, negative feelings toward God. But do have some POCD.

That’s more information than I tell anyone away from the keyboard but oh well. I feel a little bit of context is important.

For me, the most important thing to keeping going and living a good life other than my spiritual life was finding a good therapist who understood my faiths importance to me but also understood how the OCD affected it. Also have a few key people in my life (Brother, Bestfriend) who I have decided to use as a soundboard on issues that I can’t seem to figure on my own.

They say I’m “the most irrationally thinking, rationally acting person ever”

Your story about the change in themes today, further proves hallmark OCD. It is very thematic. My symptoms will literally cure and then return based on other themes popping up and then being rationalized or defeated.

For example: recently my Girlfriend’s cousin was over and I hugged her when she left and I felt like I had grabbed her butt but then had forgotten I did. Just a thought was all it took: “what if I grabbed her butt?” And then from there just downward spiral of trying to remember and examine Etc.

But during torturing myself for 2 days on this, all other vow, blasphemous symptoms gone.

Ofcourse, I call my girlfriend tell her: she laughs and says” Look “ “ I appreciate you telling me that, but I know you wouldn’t do that”

Instantly I knew I didn’t do it, 5 minutes later I’m sitting there trying not to think “bad” thoughts or vows. Back to the old familiar theme.

But on the good side I have made significant progress and have continued to live a good life despite my illness, career, house, faith etc.

You can beat OCD and it may never go away completely but progress is measured by minimizing its impact on your life and sometimes just by making it to the next day. Sometimes I feel like wow “ I have been fighting for 22 years and I’m still fighting” but really that’s the whole point. Just to be here and keep fighting. And remember God understands and feels the fight and understands your pain even better than you do. You are not responsible for your illness. And even if you were Jesus has already paid the price for every sin you could commit, every thought, impulse, compulsion all of it.

You can beat it, keep up the therapy, keep praying, be sure to expand prayer beyond your illness ( I made that mistake for a long time) and be sure that you are resolute in your understanding that you do have OCD. Because if you lose understanding of that you I’ll lose your frame of reference to view and interpret every thought you do have.

Any more questions or concerns reach out anytime.

Excuse the ramble

 

[Subaru17]

Will lose*

 

[Micha]

Yes, you are really helpful but SO sorry to hear about you struggling with this as well. It is a horrible disease!
May I ask how you are coping? Are you able to just let the thoughts be there and let them go in regards to the scrupulosity or is it still a struggle?

Oh, please don’t answer anything you don’t want to - that wasn’t my intention! But I thank you for it! Please feel free to write to me in private if you wanna talk or just keep in contact if you need to.

Yes, my therapist is a great therapist. Sadly doesn’t seem to take my belief-system into consideration though..

Okay, I know what you mean. Everytime I have something “solved”, something new comes up...

Thank you for that story. Gave me a perspective in how ocd likes to work. I really appreciate it but sad to hear how it keeps irritating you!

Thank you for your advices! I will take them to heart! As you say: I need to remember that I have ocd! I often question my self and this if something feels different but it’s still my theme like: oh no, what if this is actually me thinking this/meaning this and there goes the spiral.. Do you sometimes get caught up in this?

Again: thank you for everything!!

 

[Mari17]

Hi,

Sorry to hear what you are going through, Its important to understand that OCD is a constantly changing and shifting issue. Its important to get proper help from a mental health professional and if you can guidance from someone in your church or a Christian in your life who understands mental health issues.

What you are describing is hallmark OCD. I presume that you were taking comfort in the fact that these thoughts were intrusive...and not yours, suddenly, OCD shifts and now it tries to make the thoughts feel like yours or on purpose.

I know that others on this forum may not agree with me, but while I think that leaning on God is our greatest source of strength and that we should use all of our tools available.. I would advise caution against a repetitive prayer or scripture recital, It can often become a compulsion.

Letting the thoughts come and go, medically speaking is the recommended solution. Your brain prioritizes and streams these thoughts based on your physical/mental/emotional response to them, which sends a flag to your brain. So when you respond in any kind of way to the thoughts, other than indifference you are teaching your brain to focus on them.

I am definitely not a medical professional and this is just my opinion based on my experience with Pure OCD related to intrusive "blasphemous" thoughts, vows etc.

What Subaru said!!

 

[JesusisKing77]

Hi,

Sorry to hear what you are going through, Its important to understand that OCD is a constantly changing and shifting issue. Its important to get proper help from a mental health professional and if you can guidance from someone in your church or a Christian in your life who understands mental health issues.

What you are describing is hallmark OCD. I presume that you were taking comfort in the fact that these thoughts were intrusive...and not yours, suddenly, OCD shifts and now it tries to make the thoughts feel like yours or on purpose.

I know that others on this forum may not agree with me, but while I think that leaning on God is our greatest source of strength and that we should use all of our tools available.. I would advise caution against a repetitive prayer or scripture recital, It can often become a compulsion.

Letting the thoughts come and go, medically speaking is the recommended solution. Your brain prioritizes and streams these thoughts based on your physical/mental/emotional response to them, which sends a flag to your brain. So when you respond in any kind of way to the thoughts, other than indifference you are teaching your brain to focus on them.

I am definitely not a medical professional and this is just my opinion based on my experience with Pure OCD related to intrusive "blasphemous" thoughts, vows etc.

You described exactly what I’ve been going trough too!In the past month I took comfort in knowing I truly don’t mean these horrible toughts that pop in my horrible mind,so I resisted having to bow down and ask for forgiveness every time I think of them.Lately tho,it feels as tough I truly mean them,like when I get irritated my mind will atomatcally try and offend God,but I know deep down I don’t mean it,but that’s so hypocritical because how can I say I didn’t mean it if I was feeling negative feelings at the time.I hate offending Him,I feel like the worst thing in the world,deserving of punishment.Thats another reason why I haven’t gotten close to God because I feel so unworthy to Him,like a hypocrite how am I going to offend over and over again and say sorry I didn’t mean it all the time?I accepted that I deserve punishment but I’m scared.maybe I’m just lazy and truly horrible and making excuse.I admit I just want to be healed once in for all,I don’t want to deal with these battles anymore I’m tired of fighting.I know even without the OCD I’m truly horrible and I want to change,agh sorry for the vent but I just wanted to thank you for letting others know how you deal with this.

 

[Subaru17]

You described exactly what I’ve been going trough too!In the past month I took comfort in knowing I truly don’t mean these horrible toughts that pop in my horrible mind,so I resisted having to bow down and ask for forgiveness every time I think of them.Lately tho,it feels as tough I truly mean them,like when I get irritated my mind will atomatcally try and offend God,but I know deep down I don’t mean it,but that’s so hypocritical because how can I say I didn’t mean it if I was feeling negative feelings at the time.I hate offending Him,I feel like the worst thing in the world,deserving of punishment.Thats another reason why I haven’t gotten close to God because I feel so unworthy to Him,like a hypocrite how am I going to offend over and over again and say sorry I didn’t mean it all the time?I accepted that I deserve punishment but I’m scared.maybe I’m just lazy and truly horrible and making excuse.I admit I just want to be healed once in for all,I don’t want to deal with these battles anymore I’m tired of fighting.I know even without the OCD I’m truly horrible and I want to change,agh sorry for the vent but I just wanted to thank you for letting others know how you deal with this.

Hi

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, but understand that you are not alone or unique (sorry to say you are actually quite normal) in your symptoms or in your "feelings" toward God. They do not reflect how you really feel, regardless of how your brain makes you think that is. Its important to understand that you are on an OCD forum on a Christian Forum wondering about whether or not you can get help/forgiveness for these bad thoughts and your feelings. That alone should tell you that you are not lost, and do not truly feel this negative way toward God.

You should, as I always say, get professional help and couple that with guidance from a trusted Christian who understands mental illness. Like a mentor of sorts. I have gone through exactly what you are going through, it is just OCD. As a matter of fact I never get mad anymore because I have trained myself not to because of the fear of the thoughts that come toward God when I am angry. This is UNHEALTHY. It is not a good thing, and I am currently working on it. Even now when I stub my toe on a piece of furniture, I find myself repeating "No bad thoughts" "no bad thoughts" "no bad thoughts". Its something I have been dealing with for a long time.

We are all unworthy of God, but Jesus died so that we might be saved. Understand that God wants you to be close to him and communicate with him as much as possible, and your feelings of being a hypocrite or unworthy is only preventing that.

Jesus died so that every bad thought, desire and action you could ever have had or have in the future will be forgiven. Trust in the power of his sacrifice.

Fight against praying for forgiveness for these thoughts and feelings, it can often become a nasty compulsion and feed into your illness. God understands OCD better than You, I, and the whole medical world combined. It can be easy to feel like you need to be forgiven for each and every thought, feeling etc immediately. However we are Human and under the best circumstances, we will sin and not have asked for direct forgiveness for that sin before we die. " i.e. I swore this morning, could walk out of the house right now and get hit by a bus"

We all do get tired of fighting, but our illness is just one of many that affect millions of people. everyone in life has their struggles and problems, unfortunately our brain has tricked us into thinking our illness has eternal consequences, which can make it daunting, but with healing, you will see that it does not.

PM me anytime or respond.

You can beat this

 

[Micha]

Hi

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, but understand that you are not alone or unique (sorry to say you are actually quite normal) in your symptoms or in your "feelings" toward God. They do not reflect how you really feel, regardless of how your brain makes you think that is. Its important to understand that you are on an OCD forum on a Christian Forum wondering about whether or not you can get help/forgiveness for these bad thoughts and your feelings. That alone should tell you that you are not lost, and do not truly feel this negative way toward God.

You should, as I always say, get professional help and couple that with guidance from a trusted Christian who understands mental illness. Like a mentor of sorts. I have gone through exactly what you are going through, it is just OCD. As a matter of fact I never get mad anymore because I have trained myself not to because of the fear of the thoughts that come toward God when I am angry. This is UNHEALTHY. It is not a good thing, and I am currently working on it. Even now when I stub my toe on a piece of furniture, I find myself repeating "No bad thoughts" "no bad thoughts" "no bad thoughts". Its something I have been dealing with for a long time.

We are all unworthy of God, but Jesus died so that we might be saved. Understand that God wants you to be close to him and communicate with him as much as possible, and your feelings of being a hypocrite or unworthy is only preventing that.

Jesus died so that every bad thought, desire and action you could ever have had or have in the future will be forgiven. Trust in the power of his sacrifice.

Fight against praying for forgiveness for these thoughts and feelings, it can often become a nasty compulsion and feed into your illness. God understands OCD better than You, I, and the whole medical world combined. It can be easy to feel like you need to be forgiven for each and every thought, feeling etc immediately. However we are Human and under the best circumstances, we will sin and not have asked for direct forgiveness for that sin before we die. " i.e. I swore this morning, could walk out of the house right now and get hit by a bus"

We all do get tired of fighting, but our illness is just one of many that affect millions of people. everyone in life has their struggles and problems, unfortunately our brain has tricked us into thinking our illness has eternal consequences, which can make it daunting, but with healing, you will see that it does not.

PM me anytime or respond.

You can beat this

I thank you so ever much!

I can see how that cannot be healthy and I actually do the same thing! It’s like when I’m mad or am in pain like the one with the toe, I think the same thing as you! Wow, I thought it was just me!!

I really appreciate you and that you take the time to answer me (and sorry for the delay. Didn’t see that I got a message from you).

I hope that you are doing alright and be glad to know that you are helping me!

I have an ocd-related question for you but it is for reassurance so I won’t ask you. This is a way of beating ocd as you know but it’s so hard!
But let’s keep on fighting!

Thank you for you and I hope I can write to you again.

 

[JesusisKing77]

Hi

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, but understand that you are not alone or unique (sorry to say you are actually quite normal) in your symptoms or in your "feelings" toward God. They do not reflect how you really feel, regardless of how your brain makes you think that is. Its important to understand that you are on an OCD forum on a Christian Forum wondering about whether or not you can get help/forgiveness for these bad thoughts and your feelings. That alone should tell you that you are not lost, and do not truly feel this negative way toward God.

You should, as I always say, get professional help and couple that with guidance from a trusted Christian who understands mental illness. Like a mentor of sorts. I have gone through exactly what you are going through, it is just OCD. As a matter of fact I never get mad anymore because I have trained myself not to because of the fear of the thoughts that come toward God when I am angry. This is UNHEALTHY. It is not a good thing, and I am currently working on it. Even now when I stub my toe on a piece of furniture, I find myself repeating "No bad thoughts" "no bad thoughts" "no bad thoughts". Its something I have been dealing with for a long time.

We are all unworthy of God, but Jesus died so that we might be saved. Understand that God wants you to be close to him and communicate with him as much as possible, and your feelings of being a hypocrite or unworthy is only preventing that.

Jesus died so that every bad thought, desire and action you could ever have had or have in the future will be forgiven. Trust in the power of his sacrifice.

Fight against praying for forgiveness for these thoughts and feelings, it can often become a nasty compulsion and feed into your illness. God understands OCD better than You, I, and the whole medical world combined. It can be easy to feel like you need to be forgiven for each and every thought, feeling etc immediately. However we are Human and under the best circumstances, we will sin and not have asked for direct forgiveness for that sin before we die. " i.e. I swore this morning, could walk out of the house right now and get hit by a bus"

We all do get tired of fighting, but our illness is just one of many that affect millions of people. everyone in life has their struggles and problems, unfortunately our brain has tricked us into thinking our illness has eternal consequences, which can make it daunting, but with healing, you will see that it does not.

PM me anytime or respond.

You can beat this

Thank you so much,I know for sure I’m not alone in this, yet I feel so horrible.I just hope I’m not abusing Gods grace.Im not a good person at all,but u hope I’m not the even worse person the ocd makes me seem like.I just want to love and be loved also and thank you again,knowing others go trough this helps me in so many ways,God bless