Has anyone been through a long Dark Night of the Soul?

Reganne

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My Dark Night of the Soul/wilderness experience has lasted 6 months so far. So I haven’t felt the tangible presence of God in these past 6 months. It is torturous to say the least. I know God is trying to teach me something, but I want this to be over. Can someone who has been in this situation for longer than 6 months please speak up?? Can you tell me about your experience?
 

Ecclesiastian

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Some may say this doesn't count as I wasn't yet baptized, and baptismal regeneration is becoming an increasingly large consensus these days; but I think it's relevant. If it doesn't help you out reading it, that's fine, and I apologize.

Even as a young child I was very passionate about the Christian faith, and loved doing things at the church and listening to the hymns, and I prayed every night (though at the time those prayers were very immature and at times selfish; things such as praying for a long life, etc.), and tried many times to read the Bible though but the only version my family was universally open to at the time was the KJV and the 16th century English stumped me hard. I did however spend my entire Summer break when I was 13 reading countless articles and other such things about theology. Though I hadn't been baptized, I feel like I was at least in a situation akin to those converts mentioned in the Epistles who showed the fruits of the spirit even though they were young in their faith and hadn't yet had the opportunity for baptism. However this all changed when I was about 15. I suddenly fell into a depression of sorts, I couldn't feel emotion besides sadness and remorse, I fell into wicked habits, lust and anger took hold of my heart, the echoes of which still torment me in passing moments to this day, I couldn't feel God's help and presence though I kept up my habit of praying, at one point I even denied that I was a Christian in order to justify my hatred of someone (If ever I had a fall from grace, that would be it.)

These trends kept up for around a full year and a half. One day I just began to meditate on certain aspects of my life as a believer. I realized I hadn't followed Christ's commands as I ought to have. I was ashamed to call myself a Christian when people asked, my reluctance to be baptized was in part out of social awkwardness, I hadn't partaken of the Lord's Supper because I hadn't been baptized, I wasn't any longer an active member of the Christian community, etc. I just realized there were many fundamental areas in which I failed due to my own stubbornness despite all the gifts God gave me. Then a few weeks after that, it was almost like I had a quiet, but present "whisper" in my heart to become everything that I wasn't. I thought deeply about everything, and found a pastor whom I trusted and had him baptize me, and I've done my best to share Christ when I feel it is reasonable, and I've been heavily involved in the church, at least compared to what I was, and while I still stumble and still feel some of the darkness that I felt in that year and a half, ultimately I know God has returned His gaze to me, and I can feel His spirit in my heart, and I am ultimately happy. My fears that I had, that of death or of catastrophe, even my social anxiety to an extent are faded away for the most part, I have a better perspective on life, and I no longer feel depressed.

I'm not sure if this is what you call a Dark Night of the Soul, but that's what I consider mine. I know hearing my story probably doesn't help, but hey, at least you know something about a random guy on the internet....That's good...right?
 
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Reganne

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Some may say this doesn't count as I wasn't yet baptized, and baptismal regeneration is becoming an increasingly large consensus these days; but I think it's relevant. If it doesn't help you out reading it, that's fine, and I apologize.

Even as a young child I was very passionate about the Christian faith, and loved doing things at the church and listening to the hymns, and I prayed every night (though at the time those prayers were very immature and at times selfish; things such as praying for a long life, etc.), and tried many times to read the Bible though but the only version my family was universally open to at the time was the KJV and the 16th century English stumped me hard. I did however spend my entire Summer break when I was 13 reading countless articles and other such things about theology. Though I hadn't been baptized, I feel like I was at least in a situation akin to those converts mentioned in the Epistles who showed the fruits of the spirit even though they were young in their faith and hadn't yet had the opportunity for baptism. However this all changed when I was about 15. I suddenly fell into a depression of sorts, I couldn't feel emotion besides sadness and remorse, I fell into wicked habits, lust and anger took hold of my heart, the echoes of which still torment me in passing moments to this day, I couldn't feel God's help and presence though I kept up my habit of praying, at one point I even denied that I was a Christian in order to justify my hatred of someone (If ever I had a fall from grace, that would be it.)

These trends kept up for around a full year and a half. One day I just began to meditate on certain aspects of my life as a believer. I realized I hadn't followed Christ's commands as I ought to have. I was ashamed to call myself a Christian when people asked, my reluctance to be baptized was in part out of social awkwardness, I hadn't partaken of the Lord's Supper because I hadn't been baptized, I wasn't any longer an active member of the Christian community, etc. I just realized there were many fundamental areas in which I failed due to my own stubbornness despite all the gifts God gave me. Then a few weeks after that, it was almost like I had a quiet, but present "whisper" in my heart to become everything that I wasn't. I thought deeply about everything, and found a pastor whom I trusted and had him baptize me, and I've done my best to share Christ when I feel it is reasonable, and I've been heavily involved in the church, at least compared to what I was, and while I still stumble and still feel some of the darkness that I felt in that year and a half, ultimately I know God has returned His gaze to me, and I can feel His spirit in my heart, and I am ultimately happy. My fears that I had, that of death or of catastrophe, even my social anxiety to an extent are faded away for the most part, I have a better perspective on life, and I no longer feel depressed.

I'm not sure if this is what you call a Dark Night of the Soul, but that's what I consider mine. I know hearing my story probably doesn't help, but hey, at least you know something about a random guy on the internet....That's good...right?
So you didn’t feel God’s Presence for a year and a half?
 
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Ttalkkugjil

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My Dark Night of the Soul/wilderness experience has lasted 6 months so far. So I haven’t felt the tangible presence of God in these past 6 months. It is torturous to say the least. I know God is trying to teach me something, but I want this to be over. Can someone who has been in this situation for longer than 6 months please speak up?? Can you tell me about your experience?

Welcome to CF Reganne. I'd like to help you, but I can't honestly say that I've ever experienced such a time. I have heard in seminary that during them the best thing to do is to remain faithful to God. I do trust that your long dark night will come to an end.
 
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Not me

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My Dark Night of the Soul/wilderness experience has lasted 6 months so far. So I haven’t felt the tangible presence of God in these past 6 months. It is torturous to say the least. I know God is trying to teach me something, but I want this to be over. Can someone who has been in this situation for longer than 6 months please speak up?? Can you tell me about your experience?

Hi,....If I may be so bold, forgive me if this offends;

It all depends on what you mean by “the dark night of the soul/wilderness experience?”

First of all know the problem is always on our side. For God is more willing to make Himself known, than we are to know Him. That being said;

Obedience brings joy. Joy is a expression of the Heart of God. We all have gone through painful growing pains and for the season they are not pleasant. But for 6 months straight, it seems to me disobedience, or a refusal to yield to God in a area is the only thing that can cause that. I would look to known areas of disobedience or a lack of trust or yielding on your part to or in a area God is putting His finger on in your life. For God has not changed His mind concerning you and is always working toward your perfection.

For righteousness is God’s will. If you are pursuing righteousness in all things, you can not help but feel, sense, know God’s presence in all things. For if you are pursuing righteousness in all things God’s presence will chase you.

Hope this helps, once again forgive me of this offends and I will say no more.

Blessings,

Much love in Christ, Not me
 
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Ecclesiastian

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So you didn’t feel God’s Presence for a year and a half?
Not in a personal sense, no. I sort of felt Him distantly if that makes sense, like, I could still see Him in the world and still feel His existence and workmanship, but I didn't feel Him in my heart as a spiritually healthy believer does.
 
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devin553344

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My Dark Night of the Soul/wilderness experience has lasted 6 months so far. So I haven’t felt the tangible presence of God in these past 6 months. It is torturous to say the least. I know God is trying to teach me something, but I want this to be over. Can someone who has been in this situation for longer than 6 months please speak up?? Can you tell me about your experience?

I went thru feeling darkness for a year or so before turning toward God to seek Him out. Now I feel super and loved by God I feel warmth and light. But for a year or so I felt real darkness.
 
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anna ~ grace

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My Dark Night of the Soul/wilderness experience has lasted 6 months so far. So I haven’t felt the tangible presence of God in these past 6 months. It is torturous to say the least. I know God is trying to teach me something, but I want this to be over. Can someone who has been in this situation for longer than 6 months please speak up?? Can you tell me about your experience?
I would strongly recommend this book;

91nsr3n7w9L.jpg


It is a beautiful, beautiful book. Saint Teresa of Calcutta went through a terrible darkness. Still, God was with her.

I have been through intense anger, sadness, despair, and grief. I could not feel God during those times. I nearly left Christ. But though I could not feel anything, still, with God's help, I followed. It isn't easy, but we can keep going.

Sometimes we can not feel Him anymore. That doesn't mean He isn't there.
 
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Lost4words

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Over 4 years of hell. Been an awful journey.

I hope that i am now getting closer to God. Been so many battles in my mental and physical life. Through it all, i have still loved God MASSIVELY.

My advice would be to never ever give up on God. Whatever happens in your life. Keep God close in your heart and soul. Yes, you may lose many battles against the devil, but, be determined that he will never ever win the war!

Be strong. Offer up your sufferings to God. Jesus is carrying you while you carry your cross. However dark it feels, God is the only light that will shine through. Pray. Lay your troubles at the feet of Jesus.

God bless you.
 
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~Anastasia~

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There are different kinds of things people refer to as "dark nights" or times they cannot feel the presence of God.

Sometimes it is due to a mistake or drifting on our part, and God uses those to let us desire Him enough to correct it and return to Him. These can come along and be felt in different ways by anyone who is anywhere on the path toward Him.

Other times it can be God withdrawing, not because of anything wrong we do, but in order to allow us to grow from an immature kind of "hand-holding" faith to a more mature faith. Usually in this kind, God will encourage us along the way in small ways as we need it, but not with the intensity or constancy of the new birth. Some people never enter this stage. Some may enter it repeatedly. The faith journey is not a "one size fits all" and God alone knows the best way to grow us. And He is ultimately more interested in our growth in Christ than in the little comforts we receive from Him along the way.

Elder Sophrony (a disciple of St. Silouan the Athonite) - these two offer teachings through others about the second sort. But it is very "strong meat" and not a beginning place. However, they finally answered questions that had been the greatest in my mind for nearly twenty years when I found them.

Above all you must know that God does not abandon us. Our feelings should spur us toward Him and not lead us to despair. The rest is in the intimate and particular relationship and path toward it each of us takes toward Him. He can use others to reveal things that help us, but that requires discernment on our part.

Prayers for you. And please pray for me. May God have mercy on us all.
 
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LookuntoYeshua

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Hi,....If I may be so bold, forgive me if this offends;

It all depends on what you mean by “the dark night of the soul/wilderness experience?”

First of all know the problem is always on our side. For God is more willing to make Himself known, than we are to know Him. That being said;

Obedience brings joy. Joy is a expression of the Heart of God. We all have gone through painful growing pains and for the season they are not pleasant. But for 6 months straight, it seems to me disobedience, or a refusal to yield to God in a area is the only thing that can cause that. I would look to known areas of disobedience or a lack of trust or yielding on your part to or in a area God is putting His finger on in your life. For God has not changed His mind concerning you and is always working toward your perfection.

For righteousness is God’s will. If you are pursuing righteousness in all things, you can not help but feel, sense, know God’s presence in all things. For if you are pursuing righteousness in all things God’s presence will chase you.

Hope this helps, once again forgive me of this offends and I will say no more.

Blessings,

Much love in Christ, Not me

I don't know if anyone else received the wisdom/encouragement in this powerful brief post, but I did. And do. It never ceases to amaze me and I wanted to reply after reading it last night, but nothing came of the Lord but Thanksgiving to Him. Found this just now and hope it blesses!

"God only shares His joy on His terms." Joni Earekson Tada

Blessings,
In Him
 
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Not me

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"God only shares His joy on His terms." Joni Earekson Tada

Blessings,
In Him

Thanks for such kind words.

But this quote from Joni is stunning! Took my breath away!

This is A God breathed truth.

This I will be pondering before the Lord. Wow! Such a depth of truth in it. Thanks so very much for making this post.

Blessings,

Much love in Christ, Not me
 
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Reganne

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Over 4 years of hell. Been an awful journey.

I hope that i am now getting closer to God. Been so many battles in my mental and physical life. Through it all, i have still loved God MASSIVELY.

My advice would be to never ever give up on God. Whatever happens in your life. Keep God close in your heart and soul. Yes, you may lose many battles against the devil, but, be determined that he will never ever win the war!

Be strong. Offer up your sufferings to God. Jesus is carrying you while you carry your cross. However dark it feels, God is the only light that will shine through. Pray. Lay your troubles at the feet of Jesus.

God bless you.
Can you please message me?
 
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Reganne

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Hi,....If I may be so bold, forgive me if this offends;

It all depends on what you mean by “the dark night of the soul/wilderness experience?”

First of all know the problem is always on our side. For God is more willing to make Himself known, than we are to know Him. That being said;

Obedience brings joy. Joy is a expression of the Heart of God. We all have gone through painful growing pains and for the season they are not pleasant. But for 6 months straight, it seems to me disobedience, or a refusal to yield to God in a area is the only thing that can cause that. I would look to known areas of disobedience or a lack of trust or yielding on your part to or in a area God is putting His finger on in your life. For God has not changed His mind concerning you and is always working toward your perfection.

For righteousness is God’s will. If you are pursuing righteousness in all things, you can not help but feel, sense, know God’s presence in all things. For if you are pursuing righteousness in all things God’s presence will chase you.

Hope this helps, once again forgive me of this offends and I will say no more.

Blessings,

Much love in Christ, Not me
Could you please message me? I may need a little more of your advice.
 
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Have you went through this?
After I lost someone. There is no easy answer except to trust in Jesus, and earnestly pray. For me, I believe it was days or weeks, not months.
 
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Not me

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Could you please message me? I may need a little more of your advice.

Sure, just know for sure God loves you so much, and has your best in mind for you, always. Don’t fear, just press into Him so you increase your personal relationship with Him. For through that relationship all things come from God.

Blessings

Much love in Christ, Not me
 
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Michie

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You beat me to it. :thumbsup: reading Dark Night of the Soul by John of the Cross is good too. Scripture has Job and Ecclesiates which help.
Over 4 years of hell. Been an awful journey.

I hope that i am now getting closer to God. Been so many battles in my mental and physical life. Through it all, i have still loved God MASSIVELY.

My advice would be to never ever give up on God. Whatever happens in your life. Keep God close in your heart and soul. Yes, you may lose many battles against the devil, but, be determined that he will never ever win the war!

Be strong. Offer up your sufferings to God. Jesus is carrying you while you carry your cross. However dark it feels, God is the only light that will shine through. Pray. Lay your troubles at the feet of Jesus.

God bless you.
 
Upvote 0
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