So, on TLC, which is one of my favourite channels to watch on TV, there's a new show airing called 'Long Island Medium'. My younger sis told me more what it was about and I was intrigued with it, so I stuck it on series record. It's not aired yet, but after I told Mom that I put it on record, she told me how God is really against mediums(people who, I suppose, speak for the dead), and then I felt really guilty about even wanting to watch the show and sticking it on record. =( Now, I watch anime and stuff, which isn't always the most christianly of things, but THAT I know it's just all cartoons, none of it's real, and it's purely for entertainment... but this show's with real people and I assume real situations(since mostly everything on TLC is real events), and I just don't know if I should watch it. I feel guilty about wanting to watch it and when I told my mom that after she was telling me she and my dad used to watch stuff like that, she asked me WHY I was guilty and my response was 'Because I'm messed up', but ugh.
I had rather bad anxiety during school today, and it's only the second day. One time was during geometry when I got two things wrong on my work that I shouldn't have gotten wrong(as in, I knew better than to get those wrong) and then during history when I forgot to take notes. Luckily I was able to copy down my friend's notes.
I guess here comes the reassurance seeking part of OCD as I ask: Is all what I'm feeling above: The guilt for wanting to watch that show(and you know, I know the bible's against wizardry, but I watch Harry Potter with no remorse), and the 'this is the end of the world/I'm trash' feeling I got during school towards those two times, is it all just OCD?
(Oh, a random thing, I keep getting intrusive thoughts towards having my throat slit with either a knife or getting a paper cut on my throat. Weird, I know, but it's been going on for a couple days and makes me really uncomfortable to think about because I can almost feel it, or I can imagine what it would feel like and it makes me cringe. *shudder*)
I admit I've been busy and I've been finding a hard time to fit in bible reading(is bible supposed to be capitalised?), but ahg, these last couple days I've really been noticing my obsessions and even compulsions more these last couple days.
I had rather bad anxiety during school today, and it's only the second day. One time was during geometry when I got two things wrong on my work that I shouldn't have gotten wrong(as in, I knew better than to get those wrong) and then during history when I forgot to take notes. Luckily I was able to copy down my friend's notes.
I guess here comes the reassurance seeking part of OCD as I ask: Is all what I'm feeling above: The guilt for wanting to watch that show(and you know, I know the bible's against wizardry, but I watch Harry Potter with no remorse), and the 'this is the end of the world/I'm trash' feeling I got during school towards those two times, is it all just OCD?
(Oh, a random thing, I keep getting intrusive thoughts towards having my throat slit with either a knife or getting a paper cut on my throat. Weird, I know, but it's been going on for a couple days and makes me really uncomfortable to think about because I can almost feel it, or I can imagine what it would feel like and it makes me cringe. *shudder*)
I admit I've been busy and I've been finding a hard time to fit in bible reading(is bible supposed to be capitalised?), but ahg, these last couple days I've really been noticing my obsessions and even compulsions more these last couple days.