- Sep 11, 2006
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first of all... I haven’t been here in several months. And now I’m about to come at you with several threads all asking for different types of advice.
Let’s start with “ground zero”.
At the beginning of this year, I decided to try a Daniel fast to boost god’s blessings on the year. My husband joined in with it. Instead, the opposite happened. But god isn’t to blame, I am.
I thought my life was bad before.... because my husband stayed holed up in his office studying almost 24/7, insisted on keeping a dog I hated and we fought over everything. But at least back then, we had credit. He was going to school and planning for the future and being a veteran, the VA pays for that. I had a 9-5 at a bank. And though my home was chaotic between a badly behaved dog and cat and a lot of junk my husband had bought, it was a home.
It started with the end of January. That one final fight that I decided would be the final straw. I checked out after the mean things he said. And one month later, I moved out.
Three months goes by fast, but a lot can change. A husband can see the errors in his ways and get healthier, but then he can take three steps backwards and drop out of school, start drinking and wind up having a PTSD meltdown in the driveway of the home I was staying in temporarily, and getting arrested.
During those three months, I could inadvertently wind up making a male friend and falling in love with that friend, even though he was just a friend. He did not reciprocate those feelings, but having them added a whole new level of confusion to the situation.
And then, after May ended, I would move back in and try to start all over. The symbol for my pledge not to run away again being me getting the Bible verse for “what god has joined together let no man tear apart” engraved on my husbands new ring that he had to buy because he lost his in the ocean.
We would have a good summer... until late July. When I would try to leave my good steady job for a better one but get screwed over instead.
In September, my husband would refuse to return to school therefore only getting the minimum disability check from the Va And all I had was a job at target that I picked up in a hurry. This would by thanksgiving force me to have two jobs.
Because at this point, after three months of living seperate running around and then losing income, were about to file chapter 7 bankruptcy.
The fights would start up again.
But now, instead of them being about his not having a good work-life balance, they were about how I am a wife working two jobs whilst my husband works no jobs and also blames me for his inability to do anything about it.
I am not truly forgiven for the seperation, nor will god grant me the end of this season and restore our lives.
See? Ground zero. Our life burned down.
Let’s start with “ground zero”.
At the beginning of this year, I decided to try a Daniel fast to boost god’s blessings on the year. My husband joined in with it. Instead, the opposite happened. But god isn’t to blame, I am.
I thought my life was bad before.... because my husband stayed holed up in his office studying almost 24/7, insisted on keeping a dog I hated and we fought over everything. But at least back then, we had credit. He was going to school and planning for the future and being a veteran, the VA pays for that. I had a 9-5 at a bank. And though my home was chaotic between a badly behaved dog and cat and a lot of junk my husband had bought, it was a home.
It started with the end of January. That one final fight that I decided would be the final straw. I checked out after the mean things he said. And one month later, I moved out.
Three months goes by fast, but a lot can change. A husband can see the errors in his ways and get healthier, but then he can take three steps backwards and drop out of school, start drinking and wind up having a PTSD meltdown in the driveway of the home I was staying in temporarily, and getting arrested.
During those three months, I could inadvertently wind up making a male friend and falling in love with that friend, even though he was just a friend. He did not reciprocate those feelings, but having them added a whole new level of confusion to the situation.
And then, after May ended, I would move back in and try to start all over. The symbol for my pledge not to run away again being me getting the Bible verse for “what god has joined together let no man tear apart” engraved on my husbands new ring that he had to buy because he lost his in the ocean.
We would have a good summer... until late July. When I would try to leave my good steady job for a better one but get screwed over instead.
In September, my husband would refuse to return to school therefore only getting the minimum disability check from the Va And all I had was a job at target that I picked up in a hurry. This would by thanksgiving force me to have two jobs.
Because at this point, after three months of living seperate running around and then losing income, were about to file chapter 7 bankruptcy.
The fights would start up again.
But now, instead of them being about his not having a good work-life balance, they were about how I am a wife working two jobs whilst my husband works no jobs and also blames me for his inability to do anything about it.
I am not truly forgiven for the seperation, nor will god grant me the end of this season and restore our lives.
See? Ground zero. Our life burned down.
