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Grieving the loss of my grandpa who I was extremely close to

Discussion in 'Memorials & Grief Support' started by Natalie De La Fontaine, Sep 7, 2019.

  1. Natalie De La Fontaine

    Natalie De La Fontaine New Member

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    my grandpa passed away in 2015 but it feels like yesterday. Because he was killed, I never got to say goodbye. I miss him so very much but I take comfort in the fact he was a true Christian and is with The Lord now. He passed away in October and was sick a year before in September then November was his birthday. I would cling so tight when I hugged him and just took in every moment I had with him, he was like a second father to me. He and my grandma lived with us so he wasn’t a distant grandparent. This time of year I get really bad, I miss him the whole year but especially the fall triggers terrible memories of the day he died and funeral planning. I believe this is what causes my panic attacks out of nowhere. So many bad mental images, 2 weeks after my grandpa died my dog that I have had since a kid died. It was a double whammy then a little over a year later my uncle died. I am so traumatized by death I often wonder who’s next, I believe i have PTSD from all these horrific events especially since I was so present when they occurred. I have been so depressed and full of anxiety lately thank you so much for your time in reading this I appreciate any advice and prayers. I know Jesus hears us . Love you all merci
     
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  2. joshua 1 9

    joshua 1 9 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,268
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Sometimes when people die dealing with earthly stuff can be brutal. I still seem to have a connection with them even though they are in Heaven. As if there are very short and brief messages that go back and forth like texting on a phone. Of course Heaven is a very happy and cheerful place, so you can only have a happy and cheerful relationship with them now.

    Depression often is with people that focus to much on themselves and not enough on helping others. Loving, caring, giving people that sacrifice themselves for the sake of others do not seem to get depressed. Stress can be caused by an inner conflict that people need to resolve. For example if we are doing things we know we should not be doing then we may have stress until we resolve that issue.
     
  3. Heavenhome

    Heavenhome Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,799
    Australia
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    Hello Natalie, I am sorry for all your loss.

    I am just going to tell you what helps me and hope that it will help you too.
    In my instance when I have times of sadness at the loss of my mother and father, I remember where they are now, with the Lord.
    I ask myself if I could, would I wish them back from their being with God and no matter how much I would love them here I could never say it would be better for them here with me.
    I pray for you to acknowledge all that you feel,( it is not wrong to miss those you love including your precious pets) and tell it to Jesus who understands every tiny little thing we are going through. When you have, rejoice in the fact that it won't be forever, you will have eternity with your grandfather in heaven where all sorrow, sickness, pain and death will be finished.
    God bless you dear one,
    and may God lift you and sustain you with His never ending love.:rose:
     
  4. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +4,516
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    I'm very sorry to hear. I think we're in the same boat. In just few years, three of our beloved pets (1 dog and 2 cats) died and then my dad too. My dad died only this year, medical malpractice was partly to blame.

    Me and my dad are like best pals. We even share the same spiritual gifts. I miss him so terribly.

    I think like you, I became a lot more worried about my surviving loved ones. A bit like OCD.

    Here's what might help you because it helped me a lot:

    - Find something quite useful to do to occupy your mind and time. A job, a business idea, a hobby

    - You may not feel like doing this but do something fun with loved ones who are still alive. And try to do this regularly.

    - Personal Bible study helps.

    - Find something quite useful to do

    - We'll see them again
     
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  5. Aussie Pete

    Aussie Pete Well-Known Member Supporter

    937
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    I got a call at work about 8 years ago. It was a friend's wife who said that she could not wake her husband. I knew that he had passed away, I'm sure she knew as well. It was about 30 minute drive, bending more than a few rules to get there that quickly. The emergency services got there before me. My late friend, whom I had known for over 30 years, was lying under a sheet. His wife was offering tea to the emergency people. She was calm and peaceful. My friend's passing was not unexpected. He was 73 and not well. How can anyone lose her husband, two people who could not have been closer, without breaking down? Two reasons. First and foremost, she turned immediately to Lord Jesus as her comforter and strength. Second, she knew that all his trials were over and he had gone to a vastly better place. Death is not the end. It is just, for a Christian, the doorway to the next life. That is our true destiny. We can help ourselves by appreciating the years that we had with our loved one. We can thank and praise God for them and remember all the good times. We can remind ourselves we will see them again soon. Oh, my friend passed away on his wife's birthday. She does not grieve. She does not need to. Me, I told him off for leaving me here while he gets to mess around with the angels and hang out with Lord Jesus. I'm stuck here on the earth for a bit longer.
     
  6. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

    +2,518
    United States
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    Maybe keep a memory type of book, so when you see him in the glory land, you
    can have lots of things from your life to share with him while you hug each other!!!!
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2019
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  7. Natalie De La Fontaine

    Natalie De La Fontaine New Member

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    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking your time to write me this beautiful message. It brings me so much comfort and peace. I really appreciate your message more than words can say, you said it so beautifully and thank you for not minimizing the loss of my pet that means a lot. I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother and father. I’m praying for you thank you so kindly ❤️
     
  8. Natalie De La Fontaine

    Natalie De La Fontaine New Member

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    I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandfather, yes amen Heaven is the end of all pain❤️ Thank you for your beautiful message❤️❤️
     
  9. Heavenhome

    Heavenhome Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,799
    Australia
    Christian
    Single
    Oh bless you Natalie,it is not me but God who knows and loves you so well but if my post helped in any way I thank you for your words have touched my very heart.:heart:

    My pets are very precious to me as they are to God.
    I cannot stand it when some Christians make light of our love for them and grief when we lose them.
    The Bible says "A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel" Proverbs 12:10

    I thank you for your kind words to me also and may God bless you with the peace and assurance of His great love for you.
    Your prayers are so precious to me and my prayers include you now.:hibiscus:
     
  10. Natalie De La Fontaine

    Natalie De La Fontaine New Member

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    Aw thank you so very much. You are most welcome it’s my pleasure you are so very kind.

    Yes I completely agree I have meet so many people who regard pets as something non important, I am sorry if people have treated you this way as well. I love that verse it is so relevant.

    You are most welcome, thank you for the kindness you have shown me. God bless you as well.

    Aw thank you so very much for praying for me I appreciate that so very much. You are in my prayers as well

    (Hugs) ❤️❤️
     
  11. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

    +1,052
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    I have various family members murdered. Venlafaxine helps.

    Venlafaxine Uses, Dosage & Side Effects - Drugs.com

    Another thing that helped was to make a scrap book for each of them. whenever, I have a memory of one them come back that is somewhat positive, I write it down and draw something about it. Sometimes, I will find something on the internet that relates to add to books.

    We will pray, God Bless
    Daniel
     
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