Gossip

[Gerry]

The dictionary says that gossip is unconstrained talking or writing about people. God's Word says don't do it. It is a horrible sin, for Christians to do this and especially behind their back, where their character can be assissinated with out the opportunity of being present when it happens.

In America, our judicial system is based on the accused having the right to confront the witnesses against him. That is also Scriptural. God's Word likens gossip to murder.

I am speaking in this post only to Christians concerning what God has said TO Christians. I am sure, however, that all persons, Christian or not, can agree that gossip is unacceptable.

Some time ago, in a forum less frequented, I started listing people by name and saying nice things about them, in individual posts. Most of the people I listed probably never saw the posts.

I think if we are going to talk about people it should be things of a truthful and complimentary nature. I think there are some great people in these forums, who deserve a kind word, of encouragement. I know, personally how much those words mean in private. I would like to see deserving people complimented and encouraged publically.

There is surely something good that can be said of all people. This is not limited to Christians. As a Christian myself, I can say many nice things about some of the non-christians on this board. Surely I am not alone in this.

Just thought I would throw this out, for thought.

 

[GraftMeIn]

I certainly have to agree, It is far better for us to be building each other up spiritualy with the truth. Than causing each other harm, by spreading gossip, false rumors, and lies.

There's a sermon I heard as a child that has always stuck in my mind for some reason. The preacher was speaking on gossip, he went as far as to tell everyone that you're just as guilty as the gossiper if you're willing to sit there and listen to it.

It took me awhile to figure out why someone would be wrong for just listening to it. What I finally relized was that by lending a willing ear to someone who is only talking about others, only serves to encourage their behavior. Once they know you're willing to listen to it, they'll come back time and time again so they can feed you with even more gossip.

I have to agree also about the Christian/Non-Christian thing, I've seen many who don't consider themselves Christians. Who, I would even go as far as to say that by their actions, how I see them live their lives, and how they treat others could set a fine example for how we should live our lives as Christians. As funny as it may sound, I can look at some of these people and think that they would serve as an even better example of how a Christian should live, than I do.

 

[Gerry]

Amen GMI. And the thing about gossip. is that it spreads like wildfire and becomes worse and worse with each time it is spread. Most gossip starts with a lie or misunderstanding to begin with and snowballs as it makes it's rounds. It is by this that reputations are destroyed and people who do not even know you are suddenly thinking the worst of you.

If everyone would forego the gossip and publically speak or write nice things about others the entire Body of Christ would be built up and edified.
People who slader and speak ill against there brothers/sisters for any reason at all are ripping and tearing at the Body.

 

[altya]

Originally posted by GraftMeIn

There's a sermon I heard as a child that has always stuck in my mind for some reason. The preacher was speaking on gossip, he went as far as to tell everyone that you're just as guilty as the gossiper if you're willing to sit there and listen to it.

This is so true and we have to remember never to be part of gossip

 

[altya]

Gossip have no respect for justice, it aim to ‘kill’ a person spiritually. It ruins lives and break hearts where ever it goes.

Gossip is cruel and malicious and the longer the ‘story’ travels the more strength it gets. People tend to believe gossip more than the truth. The victim of gossip is helpless and cannot defend themselves.

It is impossible to trace the origin of gossip, the harder you try the more elusive the story become and when a reputation is ruined its takes years to restore if it’s possible.

Gossip ruins careers and marriages and cause innocent people to cry in their pillows.

If you ever went through a gossip session you will know what I mean.

 

[Gerry]

Gossip have no respect for justice, it aim to ‘kill’ a person spiritually. It ruins lives and break hearts where ever it goes.

Gossip is cruel and malicious and the longer the ‘story’ travels the more strength it gets. People tend to believe gossip more than the truth. The victim of gossip is helpless and cannot defend themselves.

This is EXACTLY why gossip is forbidden by God, and no Christian should ever even consider participating in gossip in any of it forms.

Many people justify gossip by saying they were merely "discussing" or expressing opinions. But a rose by any other name smells the same.

Thanks for adding your wisdom to this post!

 

[Gerry]

I will let this post pass on now into oblivion. But it is with regret that we do not take this sin, compared to murder, in a more serious vein. This sin affects every Christians walk. May God grant us the perception to recognize this evil for what it is and the wisdom to avoid it like the plague!

 

[Susan]

Yeah, I posted a similar thread on gossip in Nondenom discussions. Compare the replies and discussion to, say, one of the sexual sin threads.

People simply like gossip and are comfortable with gossip. Unlike other sins, it is universal and very easy to commit.

I wish people would consider gossip, and especially "industrial spreaders of gossip" in the very same way they consider sins that cause a literal uproar when discussed.

 

[JohnR7]

 Matthew 12:35-37
    A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. [36] But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. [37] For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

Our heart must be right and pure before God. Those who do not have a pure heart, cleansed in the Blood, will be condemned. It is the actually words that come out of a unregenerated heart, that cause people to condemn themselves.

We need to bridle our tongue, &  continue to pray for God to purify our hearts. Once words have been spoken, all the armys in the world, can not bring them back again.

I asked God what gossip was once. He told me that it is anything that makes a person look bad.

Proverbs 15:4
    A wholesome tongue is a tree of life,
    But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
 



 

 

[Susan]

My point is, if someone came here and declared themself to be openly gay, we would have a near-riot (and justifiably so!) but if someone even mentions a problem with gossip you have people debating what gossip is and claiming that it is not always wrong.

 

[Gerry]

Originally posted by Susan
My point is, if someone came here and declared themself to be openly gay, we would have a near-riot (and justifiably so!) but if someone even mentions a problem with gossip you have people debating what gossip is and claiming that it is not always wrong.

I understand what you are saying Susan. I too think it is time we stopped side stepping issues, and calling things that are as though they are not.

 

[Gerry]

I asked God what gossip was once. He told me that it is anything that makes a person look bad.

Nuff Said!

 

[Gerry]

BTW John, I had someone explain gossip to me exactly that way long long ago, and over the years I have forgotten the simplicity of it. Now in my writings on Sandbox Christianity, I shall remember the indeed "sandbox" explanation of it.

 

[Gunny]

PSALMS 19:14
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

PSALMS 141:3
3 Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.



PROVERBS 8:6
6 Hear; for I will speak of excellent things; and the opening of my lips [shall be] right things.

PROVERBS 8:7
7 For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.

PROVERBS 8:8
8 All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them.



EPHESIANS 4:15
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ

EPHESIANS 4:29
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.



PROVERBS 15:1
1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.



JAMES 1:19
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

JAMES 1:20
20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.


PROVERBS 10:19
19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.


PROVERBS 15:28
28 The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

PROVERBS 17:28
28 Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

PROVERBS 18:13
13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

PROVERBS 29:20
20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.


EXODUS 20:16
16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.


EPHESIANS 4:25
25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.


PROVERBS 12:22
22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.


PSALMS 34:11
11 Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

PSALMS 34:12
12 What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good?

PSALMS 34:13
13 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.

PSALMS 34:14
14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

PROVERBS 19:9
9 A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall perish.


PROVERBS 11:11
11 By the blessing of the upright the city is exalted: but it is overthrown by the mouth of the wicked.

PROVERBS 11:12
12 He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.

PROVERBS 11:13
13 A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.


PROVERBS 12:18
18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health


PROVERBS 17:27
27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.

PROVERBS 17:28
28 Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.


PROVERBS 29:19
19 A servant will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer.



PROVERBS 21:23
23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.


PROVERBS 26:20
20 Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth


PROVERBS 13:3
3 He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.



PROVERBS 25:11
11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.

PROVERBS 25:12
12 As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.


PROVERBS 15:4
4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.




JAMES 3:1
1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.

JAMES 3:2
2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

JAMES 3:3
3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.

JAMES 3:4
4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.

JAMES 3:4
4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.

JAMES 3:5
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

JAMES 3:6
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

JAMES 3:7
7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:

JAMES 3:8
8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

JAMES 3:9
9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.

JAMES 3:10
10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

JAMES 3:11
11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?

JAMES 3:12
12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

 

[Sharky]

I so can't say how much i agree with this. Gossip is a silent killer. It travels invisibly through society until it hits the target in a giant explosion of rumours, accusations and sometimes physical justice. I've learnt that the hard way. When i was young my gossip harmed one of my friend's lives. He was so embarrased he turned to anti social behaviour. It's a terrible thing to gossip. I still haven't got in contact with him now. It's been almost 4 years now. I only hope i can give him something to repair the damage.

 

[Gerry]

Yes there is a way to murder a person, behind their back, so they do not know what you are doing. But the problem is that gossip is not usually silent at all. It is loud and viscious and malicious.

The real tragedy is twofold. If it is a Christian doing the gossiping it is like a murder suicide. Because one damages their own character by participating in this sinful activity.

Though one cannot restore the character he has maligned, he can obtain forgiveness by repentence and seeking forgiveness.

Regretably, I have participated in "DISCUSSING" other people in times past, behind their back, of course. But never will I ever do that again, and in no way would I open season on a fellow Christian. But, by the Grace of God, I WILL always privately or publically defend any Christian I see being attacked.

 

[Sharky]

oh which brings up another question. If i see someone getting gossiped about lets say to one of my christian friends by another non christian friend. What should i do? Do i just politely tell him to not gossip?

 

[Gerry]

LOL Sharky! Maybe the baseball bat you were using before might be in order!

 

[Gerry]

OR, you might print out the list Gunny posted and just hand him one!

 

[Sharky]

Hmm, i'll do both .