So first, I know that different people perceive different verses in different ways for different reasons. I know, I get it. I'm going to explain how I interpret this, and why I interpret it the way that I do. But first I need to give the background context for that. Please read everything and to the end if you are going to read it. Yes it is long, but if parts are cherry picked and skipped, that could go badly. This is primarily intended for other child abuse survivors.
As an added note before I dive into this, I am not defining abuse as a swift little swat on the bum used by parents in order to correct very bad behavior in children. A swift little swat on the bum by rod or by hand is meant to cause a minor, brief amount of pain and no physical damage. I am talking about "abuse" in the context of damaging children: psychologically, emotionally, physically and sexually - and ultimately spiritually as the end result.
And sorry in advance for all the likely types. It's around 6AM, I've been up all night, and it just suddenly felt like the Holy Spirit was like SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS.
Alright here we go:
As a survivor of all forms of abuse in my childhood, I can tell you all that I never once received any sort of ministering that was meant for people in my situation, specifically - for people being abused as children or for adult survivors of that abuse. I grew up and spent most of my thus-far life thinking that there was nothing in the entire Bible that addressed the issue of child abuse, which made it seem like God did not care about the topic. So not only did I feel abandoned and betrayed by my own caregivers, including extended family and people at the church we attended in my childhood, but I also felt abandoned and unloved by God Himself. As though He cared more about petty thieves and people having affairs, than He cared about people who beat, mutilate, rape, emotionally torment or otherwise damage children. This was not a God that I could say that I loved in all honesty, this was not a God that I could trust or respect. And I also grew up understanding that God knows all the truth of our hearts, so in my mind the way it was, was that God knew I couldn't really love, trust or respect Him, and so there was no point in me pretending. And so I fell away from my faith in God, though I still harbored the influence of the Holy Spirit, without realizing it. I still had the desire to seek truth, to understand humanity, to be able to love, to try to be a good person. It would just be several years later, after going through many experiences that were significant for my development, before the Holy Spirit would finally call me specifically to have my eyes opened and finally heal these deep, terrible wounds.
In the meantime, rather than studying scriptures, I studied psychology. So intense was my drive to make sense of things, understand things and somehow figure out how to escape the cycle of abuse that had plaguing my bloodlines for several generations, that I consumed a great deal of psychology material over the span of several years on the topics of child abuse, the effects of child abuse, the psychology of abusers, research into how abusive dysfunctions are passed down between generations, etc. I learned how things worked, I learned a lot of jargon, I got to a point of understanding nearly all of it. But this level of understanding did not heal me. I sought out therapy, multiple therapists, at different times. Some of them seemed like very kind-hearted people. But none of them could heal me. All of them had the same approach. They were there to help me understand. But I already understood. They would explain things to me that I had already read about it - extensively - and learned for myself. They would try to help me "process" things - but I had already been down those paths, much more intensely than any EMDR exercise was ever going to produce. I could see their value, to help people understand, so this post of mine is not meant to bash on therapists. It was just that I already understood. What I needed was to heal.
As far as all the explaining and understanding went, part of it was that I had a natural, instinctive, God-given desire to be genuinely loved and protected and cared about, by a caregiver figure that my "inner child" mind/heart could latch onto. Some therapists tried to play this role, from a detached, professional distance, in exchange for money, through the use of transference and so on. But the thing is, when you are the survivor of chronic childhood abuse, you can become very hypervigilant about signs of evil in other people. Attaching to a detached professional, who only spends time with you because you give them money, is just about impossible enough as it is, but then you also can wind up hyper-aware of every little manipulation attempt, contradiction and so on that they throw your way. The end result is that this person cannot fulfill this need for you. The fallback approach seems to be, "Learn to become the parent you never had." Which deep down is honestly infuriating, because this is where psychology starts to contradict itself and expects the impossible of the survivor. First psychology explains to you that your parent(s) abused you because they were abused, and so they couldn't help themselves, but that you can somehow just blow that all away and without ever having a genuinely healthy child-parent bond, learn how to be the parent you needed, to yourself, which implies that people don't even need each other at all - that we can all just be everything to our own selves and call it a day. Oh, and if you can't do that, since you know, it makes no sense, then it is implied not that the notion is flawed, but rather that you are just failing.
So then back out into the world I went, now let down by basically everything (in my own perception at the time). To drift around in a world where millions of children are beat, burned, raped, tormented, emotionally abused to the point of personality disorders and PTSD, and so on. And nobody cared and/or understood it. Not my family, not the strangers walking around town, not the government (don't even get me started on the corruption in CPS), not psychologists, not God. Nobody. I must confess that there were a couple of moments back then, when it suddenly became crystal clear in my mind how school shootings probably happen, which terrified me, that I was comprehending such a thing so clearly. It was like evil had made its way into my soul through all of these wounds, and there it had been festering for so long, and I felt like I was holding on for dear life not to become what I hated.
In an effort to not become what I hated, I had turned most of my rage, chaos, confusion, etc inwards on myself. Self-destructive behaviors, self-mutilation, self-degrading behaviors via sexual immorality, substance abuse, self-sabotaging life opportunities, etc. But it was never enough, nothing healed me. I was full of rage and angst all the time, unless I was dissociated from it using those destructive 'coping methods'. I had read a lot about all of this, as well, how it was so common for child abuse survivors, especially survivors of sexual abuse, to grow up as adults with all sorts of problems. Rage issues, loathing, destructive impulses and so on - manifested/directed inwards, outwards, or both. This was supposed to be information that was given to us by the impressive psychology professionals with their impressive degrees and their impressive research from relatively recent history.
Then finally, when I was ready, the Holy Spirit moved me to actually read the Gospels for myself, and that is when things got real.
Turns out that the results of relatively modern psychology research, was something that Jesus in His perfect wisdom through God, understood thousands of years ago. And not only that, not only did Jesus address this topic, but He was not messing around when He addressed it, either.
First have a look at Mark 10:
And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.
What we see here is that children were naturally looking for love and guidance and so were naturally drawn to Jesus, and Jesus said flat-out that the Kingdom of God also belongs to them. I think it is important to note here, that since all little children are seeking to be loved and guided, as God designed them that way, and considering that we must become like little children in order to receive the Kingdom of God, that is fairly safe to infer that little children have a natural, inherent faith in Jesus to them, hence why a bunch of them were just automatically drawn to Jesus without intellectually understanding things.
Then have a look at Mark 9:
Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me. And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he followeth not us. But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me. For he that is not against us is on our part. For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward. And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.
Other translations:
If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.
If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a huge millstone tied around his neck and to be thrown into the sea.
Are all of you fellow child abuse survivors getting this?? I think that some of us are going to see more deeply into this than some people are able to. It's one of those verses for certain people, and when we read it, everything can come together at once and it just jumps out at you, if you're ready for it.
See first of all, before Eve and then Adam ate of the fruit of knowledge (of good and evil), they had no well, knowledge of good and evil, so there was no sin. You can't make a little child sin when little children have no idea what is going on. Many people can't remember what the world was like through the mind of their 8-year-old self, for example, it is lost to them, and they only have their adult understanding. But little children have no idea what is going on when adults are being covertly evil with them, the children only know what they experience and that becomes their 'normal'.
But by the time the children grow up, they are more aware and more responsible, yet because of the damage that they suffered from childhood abuse, they are "dysfunctional" i.e. they are damaged and confused and struggle more against the forces of evil trying to trick them into certain types of sin. Those wounds that are cause constant pain, and then anger and fear, combined with the confusion and weakness caused by dissociation, makes it that much easier for demonic forces to get in and influence. If you all don't know it already, evil people in governments have been trying to tap into this power for a while now. Have yourself a read on Project MKUltra - Wikipedia if you want to see what sort of damage and control the wicked try to use/get on adults, and then imagine how vulnerable children would be.
While this doesn't eliminate personal responsibility, it does add a lot of clarity to what Jesus was talking about, on a deeper level. "Whosoever causes a little child seeking love and guidance (Jesus) to sin," and then as rare as it was for Jesus to use violent language, He does not hold back with this, "it would be better for him to have a huge millstone tied around his neck and to be thrown into the sea."
Are you getting this, fellow survivors??? While Jesus does not interfere with free will, so that all judgement by God at the end will be perfectly just, Jesus:
1. Stood up for all of us and addressed child abuse directly, and then God willed the apostles to record it in the Gospels, so that you and I would see it even thousands of years later. Even if some other people don't understand it on a deeper level, it is there for us. We were not overlooked or forgotten.
2. Understood thousands of years ago that when survivors struggle with certain types of sin, Jesus knows why we struggle with it. So believe that He will forgive us, not only because He says so and He is the truth, but even furthermore because He knows. Even if most of society, of the world, doesn't get it, Jesus does.
3. Jesus felt so strongly about this topic, that He said flat-out that it would be better if someone were drowned to death than if they abused little children. That is very intense language coming from Jesus! Even if everyone else in your life might invalidate you, downplay the damage you suffered, gaslight you, etc, Jesus did not downplay at all how horrific child abuse is because of what it does to children. If those who abuse children do not genuinely repent and have their souls changed by the Holy Spirit before they die, God will have the vengeance of the children those people abused. Justice will be done. Which also includes those who were abused and became abusers, but then genuinely repent, because there is nothing more depraved than severely abusing children, so just imagine the anguish and grief of those who genuinely open their hearts to be able to repent. Either way, there is justice.
So for those of you haven't yet, forget the abusers (including the toxic partners you likely keep attracting), forget therapists once you have gotten as far as you can with them, forget the notion that you have to somehow "heal yourself" by being "your own parent" and other such contrived nonsense. Jesus is where it's at!
As an added note before I dive into this, I am not defining abuse as a swift little swat on the bum used by parents in order to correct very bad behavior in children. A swift little swat on the bum by rod or by hand is meant to cause a minor, brief amount of pain and no physical damage. I am talking about "abuse" in the context of damaging children: psychologically, emotionally, physically and sexually - and ultimately spiritually as the end result.
And sorry in advance for all the likely types. It's around 6AM, I've been up all night, and it just suddenly felt like the Holy Spirit was like SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS.
Alright here we go:
As a survivor of all forms of abuse in my childhood, I can tell you all that I never once received any sort of ministering that was meant for people in my situation, specifically - for people being abused as children or for adult survivors of that abuse. I grew up and spent most of my thus-far life thinking that there was nothing in the entire Bible that addressed the issue of child abuse, which made it seem like God did not care about the topic. So not only did I feel abandoned and betrayed by my own caregivers, including extended family and people at the church we attended in my childhood, but I also felt abandoned and unloved by God Himself. As though He cared more about petty thieves and people having affairs, than He cared about people who beat, mutilate, rape, emotionally torment or otherwise damage children. This was not a God that I could say that I loved in all honesty, this was not a God that I could trust or respect. And I also grew up understanding that God knows all the truth of our hearts, so in my mind the way it was, was that God knew I couldn't really love, trust or respect Him, and so there was no point in me pretending. And so I fell away from my faith in God, though I still harbored the influence of the Holy Spirit, without realizing it. I still had the desire to seek truth, to understand humanity, to be able to love, to try to be a good person. It would just be several years later, after going through many experiences that were significant for my development, before the Holy Spirit would finally call me specifically to have my eyes opened and finally heal these deep, terrible wounds.
In the meantime, rather than studying scriptures, I studied psychology. So intense was my drive to make sense of things, understand things and somehow figure out how to escape the cycle of abuse that had plaguing my bloodlines for several generations, that I consumed a great deal of psychology material over the span of several years on the topics of child abuse, the effects of child abuse, the psychology of abusers, research into how abusive dysfunctions are passed down between generations, etc. I learned how things worked, I learned a lot of jargon, I got to a point of understanding nearly all of it. But this level of understanding did not heal me. I sought out therapy, multiple therapists, at different times. Some of them seemed like very kind-hearted people. But none of them could heal me. All of them had the same approach. They were there to help me understand. But I already understood. They would explain things to me that I had already read about it - extensively - and learned for myself. They would try to help me "process" things - but I had already been down those paths, much more intensely than any EMDR exercise was ever going to produce. I could see their value, to help people understand, so this post of mine is not meant to bash on therapists. It was just that I already understood. What I needed was to heal.
As far as all the explaining and understanding went, part of it was that I had a natural, instinctive, God-given desire to be genuinely loved and protected and cared about, by a caregiver figure that my "inner child" mind/heart could latch onto. Some therapists tried to play this role, from a detached, professional distance, in exchange for money, through the use of transference and so on. But the thing is, when you are the survivor of chronic childhood abuse, you can become very hypervigilant about signs of evil in other people. Attaching to a detached professional, who only spends time with you because you give them money, is just about impossible enough as it is, but then you also can wind up hyper-aware of every little manipulation attempt, contradiction and so on that they throw your way. The end result is that this person cannot fulfill this need for you. The fallback approach seems to be, "Learn to become the parent you never had." Which deep down is honestly infuriating, because this is where psychology starts to contradict itself and expects the impossible of the survivor. First psychology explains to you that your parent(s) abused you because they were abused, and so they couldn't help themselves, but that you can somehow just blow that all away and without ever having a genuinely healthy child-parent bond, learn how to be the parent you needed, to yourself, which implies that people don't even need each other at all - that we can all just be everything to our own selves and call it a day. Oh, and if you can't do that, since you know, it makes no sense, then it is implied not that the notion is flawed, but rather that you are just failing.
So then back out into the world I went, now let down by basically everything (in my own perception at the time). To drift around in a world where millions of children are beat, burned, raped, tormented, emotionally abused to the point of personality disorders and PTSD, and so on. And nobody cared and/or understood it. Not my family, not the strangers walking around town, not the government (don't even get me started on the corruption in CPS), not psychologists, not God. Nobody. I must confess that there were a couple of moments back then, when it suddenly became crystal clear in my mind how school shootings probably happen, which terrified me, that I was comprehending such a thing so clearly. It was like evil had made its way into my soul through all of these wounds, and there it had been festering for so long, and I felt like I was holding on for dear life not to become what I hated.
In an effort to not become what I hated, I had turned most of my rage, chaos, confusion, etc inwards on myself. Self-destructive behaviors, self-mutilation, self-degrading behaviors via sexual immorality, substance abuse, self-sabotaging life opportunities, etc. But it was never enough, nothing healed me. I was full of rage and angst all the time, unless I was dissociated from it using those destructive 'coping methods'. I had read a lot about all of this, as well, how it was so common for child abuse survivors, especially survivors of sexual abuse, to grow up as adults with all sorts of problems. Rage issues, loathing, destructive impulses and so on - manifested/directed inwards, outwards, or both. This was supposed to be information that was given to us by the impressive psychology professionals with their impressive degrees and their impressive research from relatively recent history.
Then finally, when I was ready, the Holy Spirit moved me to actually read the Gospels for myself, and that is when things got real.
Turns out that the results of relatively modern psychology research, was something that Jesus in His perfect wisdom through God, understood thousands of years ago. And not only that, not only did Jesus address this topic, but He was not messing around when He addressed it, either.
First have a look at Mark 10:
And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.
What we see here is that children were naturally looking for love and guidance and so were naturally drawn to Jesus, and Jesus said flat-out that the Kingdom of God also belongs to them. I think it is important to note here, that since all little children are seeking to be loved and guided, as God designed them that way, and considering that we must become like little children in order to receive the Kingdom of God, that is fairly safe to infer that little children have a natural, inherent faith in Jesus to them, hence why a bunch of them were just automatically drawn to Jesus without intellectually understanding things.
Then have a look at Mark 9:
Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me. And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he followeth not us. But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me. For he that is not against us is on our part. For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward. And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.
Other translations:
If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.
If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a huge millstone tied around his neck and to be thrown into the sea.
Are all of you fellow child abuse survivors getting this?? I think that some of us are going to see more deeply into this than some people are able to. It's one of those verses for certain people, and when we read it, everything can come together at once and it just jumps out at you, if you're ready for it.
See first of all, before Eve and then Adam ate of the fruit of knowledge (of good and evil), they had no well, knowledge of good and evil, so there was no sin. You can't make a little child sin when little children have no idea what is going on. Many people can't remember what the world was like through the mind of their 8-year-old self, for example, it is lost to them, and they only have their adult understanding. But little children have no idea what is going on when adults are being covertly evil with them, the children only know what they experience and that becomes their 'normal'.
But by the time the children grow up, they are more aware and more responsible, yet because of the damage that they suffered from childhood abuse, they are "dysfunctional" i.e. they are damaged and confused and struggle more against the forces of evil trying to trick them into certain types of sin. Those wounds that are cause constant pain, and then anger and fear, combined with the confusion and weakness caused by dissociation, makes it that much easier for demonic forces to get in and influence. If you all don't know it already, evil people in governments have been trying to tap into this power for a while now. Have yourself a read on Project MKUltra - Wikipedia if you want to see what sort of damage and control the wicked try to use/get on adults, and then imagine how vulnerable children would be.
While this doesn't eliminate personal responsibility, it does add a lot of clarity to what Jesus was talking about, on a deeper level. "Whosoever causes a little child seeking love and guidance (Jesus) to sin," and then as rare as it was for Jesus to use violent language, He does not hold back with this, "it would be better for him to have a huge millstone tied around his neck and to be thrown into the sea."
Are you getting this, fellow survivors??? While Jesus does not interfere with free will, so that all judgement by God at the end will be perfectly just, Jesus:
1. Stood up for all of us and addressed child abuse directly, and then God willed the apostles to record it in the Gospels, so that you and I would see it even thousands of years later. Even if some other people don't understand it on a deeper level, it is there for us. We were not overlooked or forgotten.
2. Understood thousands of years ago that when survivors struggle with certain types of sin, Jesus knows why we struggle with it. So believe that He will forgive us, not only because He says so and He is the truth, but even furthermore because He knows. Even if most of society, of the world, doesn't get it, Jesus does.
3. Jesus felt so strongly about this topic, that He said flat-out that it would be better if someone were drowned to death than if they abused little children. That is very intense language coming from Jesus! Even if everyone else in your life might invalidate you, downplay the damage you suffered, gaslight you, etc, Jesus did not downplay at all how horrific child abuse is because of what it does to children. If those who abuse children do not genuinely repent and have their souls changed by the Holy Spirit before they die, God will have the vengeance of the children those people abused. Justice will be done. Which also includes those who were abused and became abusers, but then genuinely repent, because there is nothing more depraved than severely abusing children, so just imagine the anguish and grief of those who genuinely open their hearts to be able to repent. Either way, there is justice.
So for those of you haven't yet, forget the abusers (including the toxic partners you likely keep attracting), forget therapists once you have gotten as far as you can with them, forget the notion that you have to somehow "heal yourself" by being "your own parent" and other such contrived nonsense. Jesus is where it's at!
