God's will, OCD, confusion

[justme1272]

a.

 

[Tolworth John]

believe in the Eucharist being the real Body and Blood of Christ but have not taken it for a month at least cause that would make me feel like a hypocrite, or that by taking it I'm basically promising God to post the quote (and do other "tasks")

I think you need to distinguish between those things you have to do in order to be a Christian and between those needs that your OCD wants you to do.

Your not doing an OCD requirement is not a 'sin' and should not stop you fromcelebrating Jesus's death and resurrection in the communion service.

One last thought, are you taking any medication for your OCD?

 

[Mari17]

Definitely definitely definitely OCD! In my opinion. The "uneasy, anxious feelings" and "pressure" that you talk about are hallmark indicators of OCD. I've struggled with scrupulosity almost my whole life, and I know exactly the feeling you are talking about. If it's anxious pressure causing you to feel like you have to do something, DON'T DO IT. The surest way to beat OCD at its own game is to refuse to play by its rules. You hit the nail on the head when you said that you get peace for awhile when you "obey" your scrupulosity, and then feel like you have to do something else. That is the cycle of OCD. Never satisfied, always demanding more...that is why you can NOT give in to it. I know it feels like you're fighting God and your own conscience - trust me, I know. But there's a difference, you know? I think those of us with OCD can usually tell when it's OCD demanding that we do something. There's that unrest, that heavy dread. Your job is to do the opposite of whatever that is telling you. Of course you'll feel anxious, because your OCD will make you feel like you're disobeying God. But you know, deep down, that you're not. And even if you can't feel that, trust that the nasty OCD feelings are indicators that the demand is from OCD and not from God. Refuse to obey them, to post those videos or talk to strangers or whatever it's telling you to do. Receive the Eucharist, with no fear that you're promising anything to God. It's super hard to go against your OCD but it's the only way to overcome it. Do you go to therapy/know therapeutic techniques for fighting OCD (specifically Exposure and Response Prevention, or ERP)? If you need more resources for fighting OCD, I'd be happy to provide some links. This article might be good in your particular situation, for starters: http://ocdandchristianity.com/?p=610

 

[justme1272]

Thank you both for replying, I really appreciate it! No, I haven't taken any medicine but did go to therapy (not ERP, just talking) for a while..it brought some temporary relief but didn't really help long-term. Other than that I've tried to focus on having a better sleeping schedule, eating properly, getting outside more etc just to be more balanced overall. Any resources would be much appreciated!

 

[Mari17]

Supposedly the best long-term therapy is ERP/CBT. A lot of it is possible to do on your own, although it might be easier with a therapist. I think taking care of your general health is great too. The website I linked to above is a favorite resource of mine; also the following website:
Welcome
This site has a great article about ERP:
Managing the Haunting Thoughts of Pure O – OCD
A wonderful book I've read by the same author of the latter site is Strivings Within: The OCD Christian by Mitzi VanCleve. There are other book about scrupulosity out there but I think that's one of the best. I'm also part of a support group on Facebook which I can tell you how to access if you want, but it's not good if you get triggered easily because lots of people post about different obsessions they're currently having. Definitely check out the resources above; the ocdandchristianity.com site also has some great information if you explore it. Do some research and find ways to implement ERP in your life! It doesn't always have to be hard-core exposures, in my opinion; sometimes just ignoring the thoughts and resisting the compulsions can work. Keep reaching out for help and encouragement as needed!

 

[justme1272]

Supposedly the best long-term therapy is ERP/CBT. A lot of it is possible to do on your own, although it might be easier with a therapist. I think taking care of your general health is great too. The website I linked to above is a favorite resource of mine; also the following website:
Welcome
This site has a great article about ERP:
Managing the Haunting Thoughts of Pure O – OCD
A wonderful book I've read by the same author of the latter site is Strivings Within: The OCD Christian by Mitzi VanCleve. There are other book about scrupulosity out there but I think that's one of the best. I'm also part of a support group on Facebook which I can tell you how to access if you want, but it's not good if you get triggered easily because lots of people post about different obsessions they're currently having. Definitely check out the resources above; the ocdandchristianity.com site also has some great information if you explore it. Do some research and find ways to implement ERP in your life! It doesn't always have to be hard-core exposures, in my opinion; sometimes just ignoring the thoughts and resisting the compulsions can work. Keep reaching out for help and encouragement as needed!

Thank you thank you thank youu!!! I just also wanted to mention that I've notice you post on the other threads as well and you are always super helpful, kind and clearly know what you're talking about which is so comforting!!

 

[Mari17]

Thank you thank you thank youu!!! I just also wanted to mention that I've notice you post on the other threads as well and you are always super helpful, kind and clearly know what you're talking about which is so comforting!!

Thank you so much for saying that! It made my day.

 

[ST673]

Hi everybody,
so I have a history of scrupulosity and have had different obsessions including being afraid of commiting/having commited the unforgivable sin, feeling like I have to talk to soo many strangers I see on the street, leave notes in public places etc, post certain videos (always about Christianity/Jesus) on Facebook, intense fears of idolatry which made me give up things etc. So here's the question: about a month ago I saw this quote on Twitter: “God gives us just enough light so that those who really want to find him can, but not so much light that those who don’t really want to find him don’t have to.” I thought it was really interesting...and immediately after the thought popped into my mind that I have to put it as my Facebook bio (the one that appears on your wall) followed by anxiety. It's been haunting me on and off ever since. A similar thing happened to me a year ago when I saw a Youtube video (a spoken word about Jesus), had the thought that what if I have to post this...a couple of months later during a flare-up of my OCD early in the morning as I was reading Bonhoeffer's "The cost of discipleship" (a great book but perhaps not for sb with religious OCD) the immense fear and my constant ruminating about it finally got the best of me and I posted it..
Everytime I think about it (having to post the quote), I get this uneasy, anxious feeling and start considering all the arguments, pro and contra. A youtuber named Jefferson Bethke said in one of his videos that God's will is more like a circle than a dot, meaning we can choose as long as we stay in God's revealed will (e.g. loving God and neighbor, seeking justice and mercy etc). This sorta calmed me down for a while but now everything I read/watch seems to be God saying "you are being disobedient by not posting this quote"..I believe in the Eucharist being the real Body and Blood of Christ but have not taken it for a month at least cause that would make me feel like a hypocrite, or that by taking it I'm basically promising God to post the quote (and do other "tasks") and since I dont want to break my promise I dont go up to recieve the Eucharist...also when I pray often in my thoughts I just have this intense rumination and accusing that Im disobeying God...
Then again often times when I've given into the pressure and done the task, I feel at peace for a while until a new one comes along or I have to redo/correct the initial task somehow.
Bottom line: is this God in your estimation? Thanks for reading haha if you got this far!

Hi everybody,
so I have a history of scrupulosity and have had different obsessions including being afraid of commiting/having commited the unforgivable sin, feeling like I have to talk to soo many strangers I see on the street, leave notes in public places etc, post certain videos (always about Christianity/Jesus) on Facebook, intense fears of idolatry which made me give up things etc. So here's the question: about a month ago I saw this quote on Twitter: “God gives us just enough light so that those who really want to find him can, but not so much light that those who don’t really want to find him don’t have to.” I thought it was really interesting...and immediately after the thought popped into my mind that I have to put it as my Facebook bio (the one that appears on your wall) followed by anxiety. It's been haunting me on and off ever since. A similar thing happened to me a year ago when I saw a Youtube video (a spoken word about Jesus), had the thought that what if I have to post this...a couple of months later during a flare-up of my OCD early in the morning as I was reading Bonhoeffer's "The cost of discipleship" (a great book but perhaps not for sb with religious OCD) the immense fear and my constant ruminating about it finally got the best of me and I posted it..
Everytime I think about it (having to post the quote), I get this uneasy, anxious feeling and start considering all the arguments, pro and contra. A youtuber named Jefferson Bethke said in one of his videos that God's will is more like a circle than a dot, meaning we can choose as long as we stay in God's revealed will (e.g. loving God and neighbor, seeking justice and mercy etc). This sorta calmed me down for a while but now everything I read/watch seems to be God saying "you are being disobedient by not posting this quote"..I believe in the Eucharist being the real Body and Blood of Christ but have not taken it for a month at least cause that would make me feel like a hypocrite, or that by taking it I'm basically promising God to post the quote (and do other "tasks") and since I dont want to break my promise I dont go up to recieve the Eucharist...also when I pray often in my thoughts I just have this intense rumination and accusing that Im disobeying God...
Then again often times when I've given into the pressure and done the task, I feel at peace for a while until a new one comes along or I have to redo/correct the initial task somehow.
Bottom line: is this God in your estimation? Thanks for reading haha if you got this far!

I'm sorry if I posted this twice but im still new to using this forum. I'm going through something very similar and it's torment. I'm very sorry. OCD or whatever it is is awful. You can click on my page and see my post and some of the replies that have helped me. Here are some from my personal life "whether from the devil or our own self, compulsions are deceptive and destructive and are never from God-ever. For "where the spirit of the Lord is there is liberty" always. But where the spirit of compulsion is there is bondage"
"God is not of fear worry or stress that is satan.. Jesus shed his blood for you to have victory over those things. Plead the blood. satan cannot stand the blood. Victory is yours"
I have these taped to my bathroom mirror I read them daily.

 

[justme1272]

I'm sorry if I posted this twice but im still new to using this forum. I'm going through something very similar and it's torment. I'm very sorry. OCD or whatever it is is awful. You can click on my page and see my post and some of the replies that have helped me. Here are some from my personal life "whether from the devil or our own self, compulsions are deceptive and destructive and are never from God-ever. For "where the spirit of the Lord is there is liberty" always. But where the spirit of compulsion is there is bondage"
"God is not of fear worry or stress that is satan.. Jesus shed his blood for you to have victory over those things. Plead the blood. satan cannot stand the blood. Victory is yours"
I have these taped to my bathroom mirror I read them daily.

Im sorry youre going through this too, I hope youre doing better!