- Dec 22, 2017
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To spare a lot of background....
Loneliness has been a long struggle of mine; I have friends, good friends, but I still know that someone's missing. I feel it strongest when I pray on my own in the chapel, where I can almost see the woman sitting next to me that I dearly want to be there.
Today, already a little stressed from the beginning of a new college semester, I went to the chapel earlier than I normally do (at 2:30 instead of 3:00), because I could feel the pains of loneliness setting in again, and I knew I needed to share it with God.
I was there for awhile, much of the beginning simply sitting in my emotional pain, letting God be with me (I've found this to be a great manner of praying with strong emotions; recognizing that it's okay to feel as you feel, and just letting God be present with you). After awhile, I realized more than ever how much God is with me; my thoughts were led to Jesus on the Cross, abandoned by most of his closest friends & followers; the loneliness Mary must have felt after her son was so brutally executed, as she walked home with John; the loneliness of Jesus in His Agony in the Garden; the loneliness so many great people go through, and so many trapped in human trafficking, the homeless guys I pass in Chicago, so many of the least of His people who deal with a far greater loneliness as a way of life. I thought of how long I'd been crying out to God to bring me a good girlfriend, and how long so many people caught up in human trafficking have been crying out to God for freedom. I realized, with a certain special kind of peace, that God still had a meaning for people not being rescued yet. This is not as God intends, but a consequence of living in a fallen world where we freely commit sin; in a perfect world, none of this would be an issue. Sadly, we have made this an imperfect world.
What I stopped feeling was any sort of desperation. This has been one of the greatest fruits of my investment in human trafficking & in doing the Stations of the Cross every day; my suffering connects me, in some mystical way, to my Savior & those who need Him most. I have very powerful prayers when I offer up my suffering to the Lord who went through crucifixion on our behalf. God really came through at the end of today's Holy Hour of Prayer, and when I thought of my loneliness, I just knew the words, "You're in good company".
These spiritual things are hard to describe; I pray that you may experience the same peace & deepened connection with Our Lord & the least of His people. May God continue to bless us all!
[As much of this pertains to the question of suffering, this is a great article that addresses this question: The Meaning and Value of Suffering - Today's Catholic ]
Loneliness has been a long struggle of mine; I have friends, good friends, but I still know that someone's missing. I feel it strongest when I pray on my own in the chapel, where I can almost see the woman sitting next to me that I dearly want to be there.
Today, already a little stressed from the beginning of a new college semester, I went to the chapel earlier than I normally do (at 2:30 instead of 3:00), because I could feel the pains of loneliness setting in again, and I knew I needed to share it with God.
I was there for awhile, much of the beginning simply sitting in my emotional pain, letting God be with me (I've found this to be a great manner of praying with strong emotions; recognizing that it's okay to feel as you feel, and just letting God be present with you). After awhile, I realized more than ever how much God is with me; my thoughts were led to Jesus on the Cross, abandoned by most of his closest friends & followers; the loneliness Mary must have felt after her son was so brutally executed, as she walked home with John; the loneliness of Jesus in His Agony in the Garden; the loneliness so many great people go through, and so many trapped in human trafficking, the homeless guys I pass in Chicago, so many of the least of His people who deal with a far greater loneliness as a way of life. I thought of how long I'd been crying out to God to bring me a good girlfriend, and how long so many people caught up in human trafficking have been crying out to God for freedom. I realized, with a certain special kind of peace, that God still had a meaning for people not being rescued yet. This is not as God intends, but a consequence of living in a fallen world where we freely commit sin; in a perfect world, none of this would be an issue. Sadly, we have made this an imperfect world.
What I stopped feeling was any sort of desperation. This has been one of the greatest fruits of my investment in human trafficking & in doing the Stations of the Cross every day; my suffering connects me, in some mystical way, to my Savior & those who need Him most. I have very powerful prayers when I offer up my suffering to the Lord who went through crucifixion on our behalf. God really came through at the end of today's Holy Hour of Prayer, and when I thought of my loneliness, I just knew the words, "You're in good company".
These spiritual things are hard to describe; I pray that you may experience the same peace & deepened connection with Our Lord & the least of His people. May God continue to bless us all!
[As much of this pertains to the question of suffering, this is a great article that addresses this question: The Meaning and Value of Suffering - Today's Catholic ]
