God is really playing with me

[Jerry1013]

Hi everyone, so I really think God is having fun playing with me. Do you know how suffocating and hopeless it is when you’ve asked God for an answer, just a simple clue on why I’ve been suffering something for almost a decade now and that there’s absolutely nothing more I can do to fix it. I just need an answer. I don’t even expect to get an almighty - completely -behind - the - scenes answer anymore, I just need at least a clue. Something that tells me that God is still there and that everything has its purpose and that I’m on the right track. Because everyday I’m feeling more and more like I’m not. I’m drifting further and further away. I just need a confirmation from God, or his spirits, and I’ve asked him to provide me an answer and comfort in anyway he could, through a dream, a sign, friends and family etc. nothing. All I get is nothing and complete silence.
And you know what’s even more ironic? Even though I’ve been suffering for so long, long enough that just anybody would probably had it and maybe even ended it long ago. There’s this strange hope and determination inside of me, that makes me feel like I want to keep going, and I will keep going, I won’t let the devil get me. My life will finally be pieced together someday and it’ll all make sense. Even though I have absolutely no proof, and God won’t show me proof as well. It’s like I want to die but at the same time I don’t.

do you understand how devastating it is to feel like this? When God won’t show himself to you, nor respond to you, and you live with heart wrenching misery and confusion everyday, knowing there’s absolutely not a single damn thing you can do to change the situation, and you just wanna find someone, ANYONE, that can give you an answer. Just like when your family is on the surgery table and you NEED to know if they’re doing ok, but you can’t speak with anyone. Thinks that’s painful enough? Not quite. Now imagine you also get this uncontrollable urge inside you that makes you want to keep going but there’s nothing there to keep you going. So you’re always living like a schizophrenic.
God really has a way of messing with my head. Doesn’t he? I don’t believe everything has a purpose anymore. Other than torture. Can anyone make me believe at all?

 

[In-Christ-Alone]

I really think God is having fun playing with me

I don't know what "god" you refer to here, but the God of the Holy Bible does not have "fun playing" with anyone!

 

[Jerry1013]

I don't know what "god" you refer to here, but the God of the Holy Bible does not have "fun playing" with anyone!

Yeah he for sure is playing the hell out of me. Please get out of my thread if this is the answer you’re gonna give. You definitely makes life so much more interesting to me. Let’s just hope you don’t ever go through the hell that I’m going through. Because that will for sure change your world view

 

[Daniel of Sweden]

This god you are asking, who is he?

If you want to reach God, you need to believe in his Son Jesus Christ, your Lord and personal Savior.

For Jesus said himself that none may come to The Father (God), but through Him.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

You sound like me for many many years.

 

[Jake Arsenal]

I cried out to God through my tears saying, "WHY?!"

There are no easy answers, but I found comfort in the book of Job.

 

[In-Christ-Alone]

Yeah he for sure is playing the hell out of me. Please get out of my thread if this is the answer you’re gonna give. You definitely makes life so much more interesting to me. Let’s just hope you don’t ever go through the hell that I’m going through. Because that will for sure change your world view

I am truly sorry for what you are going through in life. However, you say that God is having fun playing with you, and this is absolutely not true.

 

[In-Christ-Alone]

You sound like me for many many years.

you mean that God also had "fun playing with you"?

 

[The Righterzpen]

just a simple clue on why I’ve been suffering something for almost a decade now and that there’s absolutely nothing more I can do to fix it. I just need an answer.

So, you want a question answered and because you haven't gotten that answer; this means God must be messing with you?

My 19 year old son has epilepsy and we've been trying to find an answer to it ever since he was diagnosed.... 17 years ago! He's been through all kinds of tests. Been to probably at least half a dozen neurologists. Been on a bunch of different medications; none of which ever really stopped the seizures. He had genetic testing done; which we are waiting for the last results and if there's no answer there? We are headed for the Mayo Clinic.

Yet we may get to the end of this investigation and still have no answer. The best doctors humanity has to offer, may not be able to figure this out.

I've wondered and prayed for the past 40 years as to why my brother is a pedophile. I can give certain statistical applications psychology has discovered; but.... still doesn't answer my question.

But you know what? On the other side of eternity, none of this is going to matter. We may go through our entire lives with a question that's never answered. That doesn't make God cruel though. It only makes us admit that we don't know!

 

[com7fy8]

Hi everyone,

Welcome to Christian Forums

You, of course, have not told us what you are going through. Your family and friends might know, so you might have a chance of hearing an answer from them. But we don't know anything. So, possibly you want me to guess And I can think of different possibilities >

I know people who have problems and it is not because they have brought their trouble on themselves. But if they live like Joseph > Genesis 37-50 > they can gain very good lives in spite of any problems . . . like Joseph did.

Others are living in pride, and "God resists the proud" > in James 4:6 and also in 1 Peter 5:5. They can bring trouble on themselves, and God might have things go against them so they do not get themselves into much worse trouble. Ones of pride and ego might cry and lie and deny, about how things go against them, but if it were not for God's resistance in their circumstances, they could have gotten into so much more harm.

And there are ones who have not listened to God's word and to the good advice of friends and family; so there is nothing they can say, really.

I have seen how ones can get themselves into terrible marriages. They did not make sure with God about their choices. And they talked their way right through anyone who tried to help them from choosing such wrong people. And then is when they blame someone else.

Whatever is your situation . . . God is the One to trust . . . not to blame. He can correct you, however you need, so you make right choices, plus so you become able to exploit any problem, whether the trouble is your fault or not. Start fresh now. If you have a good example pastor, any sermon of this person can help you, somehow. Sermons can help us to get real correction so we don't get ourselves into trouble, plus so we can learn to rest in the LORD and not let things have power to get to us.

And God makes us creative, with anything . . . like how Jesus on the cross used His situation for all-loving good and He did not allow it to get to Him.

"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." (Ephesians 5:2)

And Jesus now uses His experience on earth to make Him able to feel for us who are going through hard things > Hebrews 4:15. As we learn with God, to rest in Him and discover how He makes us creative in His love, now we can use our past experience to help us to feel for others and help them. We can tell them how we have needed correction so we don't bring trouble on ourselves, and so trouble can't get to us and have power over us; plus, God's grace all-loving makes us able to do use any trouble for God's all-loving good . . . not only to get our own selves taken care of!

 

[Unqualified]

You seem to have disappeared. I know someone with chronic pain there’s nothing anybody can do for about 25 years. Keeps getting worse, hears very little about it. Swears a little too. Hangs on to faith through everyday and flare ups. Has a life though, goes to church, repents often and He sustains on sick bed. Always helped poor when younger. Me too. Prayer helps to understand and keeps things straight. Ask for strength, He is our strength and the joy of the
Lord is our strength.

I will never stop having compassion for this person, but it doesn’t help. Don’t give up on faith. Changes will happen and a good attitude helps. Hope in heaven unless doctors can cure you. Forgive God he didn’t do this. You have all you need in the Bible to hang on and if you can’t study, hang on.

 

[bèlla]

And you know what’s even more ironic? Even though I’ve been suffering for so long, long enough that just anybody would probably had it and maybe even ended it long ago. There’s this strange hope and determination inside of me, that makes me feel like I want to keep going, and I will keep going, I won’t let the devil get me. My life will finally be pieced together someday and it’ll all make sense. Even though I have absolutely no proof, and God won’t show me proof as well. It’s like I want to die but at the same time I don’t.

Have you considered the possibility He responded but not in the manner you expect or requested. Look at your statement in light of this verse.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. —Romans 15:13

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. —James 1:2-4

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. —Romans 5:3-5

You’ve demonstrated hope and endurance in your statements. Where do you think they came from?

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[1watchman]

Yeah he for sure is playing the hell out of me. Please get out of my thread if this is the answer you’re gonna give. You definitely makes life so much more interesting to me. Let’s just hope you don’t ever go through the hell that I’m going through. Because that will for sure change your world view

It seems to me you do not know the same God as "born again" saints know, for God does not play games or deceive His "children". Do you ever read the Gospels, friend? God is love (John 3:16; John 14; etc.) ---not a deceiver, as Satan is; who works always to draw us away from our Creator-God. I will pray for you.

 

[Jerry1013]

You know what’s funny is that I was actually talking about this issue with my mother the other day, and she gave the exact same answer as you. I know there’s something much greater planned out. But sometimes not knowing why can really kill you. It’s something that if someone hasn’t been there before they wouldn’t understand. When things get so bad that you just really need to know that it really is ok, and that something much better is coming ahead. An answer/explanation from God is like a lifeline at this point. To be able to keep going. I appreciate God responding to me this way, but I just keep praying that I don’t eventually let the enemy/devil gets the best of me Because the feelings and thoughts and urges haunts me everyday, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. That really is the most painful experience in this world. When it seems so in reach but when in fact it’s not. It takes so much courage to try to look at the bright side and stick to it.

I also want to thank you for your reply, it’s the only one I needed and the only one that helped me.

Have you considered the possibility He responded but not in the manner you expect or requested. Look at your statement in light of this verse.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. —Romans 15:13

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. —James 1:2-4

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. —Romans 5:3-5

You’ve demonstrated hope and endurance in your statements. Where do you think they came from?

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[bèlla]

You know what’s funny is that I was actually talking about this issue with my mother the other day, and she gave the exact same answer as you.

Praise God. I'm glad He confirmed the truth!

I know there’s something much greater planned out. But sometimes not knowing why can really kill you. It’s something that if someone hasn’t been there before they wouldn’t understand. When things get so bad that you just really need to know that it really is ok, and that something much better is coming ahead.

I've been there and my aunt planted a seed in my spirit that never left. She told me it's the end that matters most. Stop worrying and lamenting the past. Look ahead and keep walking. The message burrowed in my spirit and I did what she said. If you'd told me then what God had in store I'd be shocked!

I touched on it briefly here.

An answer/explanation from God is like a lifeline at this point. To be able to keep going. I appreciate God responding to me this way, but I just keep praying that I don’t eventually let the enemy/devil gets the best of me Because the feelings and thoughts and urges haunts me everyday, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.

Read Battlefield of the Mind. It will help you during this period. Pray often and put yourself on the prayer list! You need others praying with you when you're low. And listen to worship music. It will lift your spirits.

That really is the most painful experience in this world. When it seems so in reach but when in fact it’s not. It takes so much courage to try to look at the bright side and stick to it.

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. —Isaiah 43:18-19

I also want to thank you for your reply, it’s the only one I needed and the only one that helped me.

Thank you for your kindness and for acknowledging the blessing. Your comment confirmed something I heard earlier that I mentioned elsewhere about anointing and using our gifts and talents for His glory.

What's on your mind?
What's on your mind?

This is a testament of that truth. God bless you.

~bella

 

[1watchman]

You seem to have a right spirit, Jerry, but as you also suggest: Satan is ever working to draw us away from God ---that is his mission as from his beginning (he will get his judgment in time as Scripture shows us). Read your Bible daily, friend ---first in John 3; John 14; and keep reading the New Testament to see what our God is saying to us and the Church. Look up always!

 

[Joyous Song]

Hi everyone, so I really think God is having fun playing with me. Do you know how suffocating and hopeless it is when you’ve asked God for an answer, just a simple clue on why I’ve been suffering something for almost a decade now and that there’s absolutely nothing more I can do to fix it. I just need an answer. I don’t even expect to get an almighty - completely -behind - the - scenes answer anymore, I just need at least a clue. Something that tells me that God is still there and that everything has its purpose and that I’m on the right track. Because everyday I’m feeling more and more like I’m not. I’m drifting further and further away. I just need a confirmation from God, or his spirits, and I’ve asked him to provide me an answer and comfort in anyway he could, through a dream, a sign, friends and family etc. nothing. All I get is nothing and complete silence.
And you know what’s even more ironic? Even though I’ve been suffering for so long, long enough that just anybody would probably had it and maybe even ended it long ago. There’s this strange hope and determination inside of me, that makes me feel like I want to keep going, and I will keep going, I won’t let the devil get me. My life will finally be pieced together someday and it’ll all make sense. Even though I have absolutely no proof, and God won’t show me proof as well. It’s like I want to die but at the same time I don’t.

do you understand how devastating it is to feel like this? When God won’t show himself to you, nor respond to you, and you live with heart wrenching misery and confusion everyday, knowing there’s absolutely not a single damn thing you can do to change the situation, and you just wanna find someone, ANYONE, that can give you an answer. Just like when your family is on the surgery table and you NEED to know if they’re doing ok, but you can’t speak with anyone. Thinks that’s painful enough? Not quite. Now imagine you also get this uncontrollable urge inside you that makes you want to keep going but there’s nothing there to keep you going. So you’re always living like a schizophrenic.
God really has a way of messing with my head. Doesn’t he? I don’t believe everything has a purpose anymore. Other than torture. Can anyone make me believe at all?

''

JS: I Jerry. I know it hard. I been sick since I was a toddler and started praying for help by seven. I stopped somewhere in my thirties because nothing seemed to be happening. Like you I lost hope.

Then somewhere in my fifties, I think it was when one of my children, our youngest starting having trouble or it might have been when my sickness started effecting my mind I started praying again for health and everything changed.

In the end II found I allergic to two nuts and intolerant of gluten. These foods have created permanent damage to my digestive system by the time I got answers.

Yet in those years of darkness I also became a creative cook because I was always trying to feel better. I also helped out other people who had digestive troubles and a diagnoses. And I can speak to you as well. as I walked that walk far longer and found blessing along the way even though it did not see the connection at first.

Also, I know He was trying to tell me things, but I simply was not yet ready to hear them maybe or maybe my ego did not allow Him in. I honestly do not know, I guess I ask Him when He returns.

Still I waited 58 years till I got a series of blood tests that finally explained my life long sickness. Hopefully you will not have to wait that long.