giving up on church

[1watchman]

Yes, we do, and there is no discrimination about age. Again I recommend you visit at the Biblecounsel.net web site and ask questions there about this universal fellowship. No saints are perfect, but we do seek to "Hold fast" to God's Word, as He tells us. I think there might also be a gathering in New Zealand of this fellowship.

 

[miggles]

i stopped going to church because they don't teach reverence and humility anymore. it's more about praising people rather that the Almighty.

 

[Albion]

i stopped going to church because they don't teach reverence and humility anymore. it's more about praising people rather that the Almighty.

Well, there ARE churches that haven't gone the way you describe, even if many have done so.

If you haven't done a thorough examination of the churches that you, as a Methodist, might consider if this problem were resolved (and which are located close enough to you, obviously) I hope you will consider it.

 

[Tolworth John]

I left the last one due to not being calvinist and I didn't realize it was calvinist til been there for a while. I was sad to leave that one.

Was it a problem that the church believed in calvinism and you didn't?
It sounds like it was not a problem, so why can't you go back?

In every church there are single people of both sexes and varrious ages, who understand loneliness and are usually happy to meet up with other singles.

Sometimes we have to compromise our theological standards for the benefits of otherwise good teaching and fellowship.
Is there any reaso you can't be the friendly armian who debates calviism with the minister etc

 

[GregSG]

Sometimes we have to compromise our theological standards for the benefits of otherwise good teaching and fellowship.

I often hear that "no church is perfect", and this thread is no exception, but what exactly is meant by that? I assume it to mean that the people in the church aren't perfect, but when I select a church, their doctrinal statement should be in line with certain key points, Baptism (of believers by immersion), Communion, Trinity, Bible is the infallible Word of God. If "no perfect church" means that the church’s key doctrinal beliefs don't have to be exact, does that mean it's ok to go to an apostate church for the social life? I don't think so!

I too have trouble with Calvinism, but I have several of John MacArthur's books and wouldn't have a problem going to his church if I lived in or near Sun Valley, it's not a key issue to me.

 

[Tolworth John]

I often hear that "no church is perfect", and this thread is no exception, but what exactly is meant by that? I assume it to mean that the people in the church aren't perfect, but when I select a church, their doctrinal statement should be in line with certain key points, Baptism (of believers by immersion), Communion, Trinity, Bible is the infallible Word of God. If "no perfect church" means that the church’s key doctrinal beliefs don't have to be exact, does that mean it's ok to go to an apostate church for the social life? I don't think so!

I too have trouble with Calvinism, but I have several of John MacArthur's books and wouldn't have a problem going to his church if I lived in or near Sun Valley, it's not a key issue to me.

The posters was complaining of being lonely, and had left a church he/she was happy in because of calvinism.

Calvinist and armianians are Christian. If it is some aspect of calvinism that resulted in a person being isolated I would question that theology.

You say baptism is important, it is not what determines a Christian, is a church that doesn't baptise 'apostate'.

Don't get me wrong doctrine is important,but I know if I was on my own and there was a church that I agreed with on 80% of its doctrine then I would attend that church so I could worship with other Christians.

 

[GregSG]

Don't get me wrong doctrine is important,but I know if I was on my own and there was a church that I agreed with on 80% of its doctrine then I would attend that church so I could worship with other Christians.

Thank you for your feedback. 80% would certainly open it up a bit in my case, but it depends on which 80%.

 

[lismore]

I wish I had somebody to go to church with. so I dont go, or when I do it takes a great deal of energy and effort to do so.
any advice about it. I get lonely I dont think people understand that.

Hello StillGods. I understand what you're saying. In my last couple of years in AOG I felt like a round peg in a square hole. Then, a year of searching for a new church, visiting various places. I experienced something alarming. How difficult it can be for a person to walk into a church and try to fit in. Several were just so cliquey I could have cried. IMO one of the biggest weaknesses of today's church and something the church must repent of- cliques. One church I went to, a charismatic outfit, the 'pastor' was all over me, asking questions, when I told him I wasn't married he walked away . Praise the Lord that he did though, I have since heard hair raising stories about that church.

In the end I stopped going to any church for a while, did a lot of praying, walking, soul searching. Recharged the batteries. Found the church I'm in now.

So I understand your pain. My advice is to recharge, pray then try again. When you go, talk about Spiritual matters. It will sort the wheat from the chaff. The unconverted in the church in my experience like to talk about crap- relationships/sex, careers, success, cars, money, sports. Talk about Spiritual things and the Lord's people will come around you.

God Bless

 

[lismore]

IMO What would be good if churches were based on diverse unity. Where people of all ages, all social backgrounds, all life experiences, all education levels, all bank balances who have accepted Jesus as Saviour and Lord are welcome and can come together in unity, a new, spiritual family.

It's often not good when churches are based on one social group, or there are special activities put on for one social group or one age group exclusively. What happens if you're not within that social group, that age band or special group? You're just left outside.

No, every church and meeting should embrace all believers. We're all made in the image of God, we're all redeemed by the blood of Jesus, we're all unique and fearfully and wonderfully made. Make everyone welcome. God Bless

 

[jsimms615]

It's so difficult to go to church.
I've changed churches many times over the years.
although I have stayed for a decent amount of time in the last couple.
I left the last one due to not being calvinist and I didn't realize it was calvinist til been there for a while. I was sad to leave that one.
there was a disagreement with a bullying elder and an unhealthy friendship in the one before that which caused me to leave that one. I was there for over 10 years and only one lady and one couple contacted me after I'd left. so I felt like that was a waste of 10 years but i think the unhealthy friendship had a lot to do with that.
I am an older single and not looking for a partner. churches are uncomfortable places anyway as they are set up for married people and families. it is getting more and more difficult to go by myself to try churches.
I wish I had somebody to go to church with. so I dont go, or when I do it takes a great deal of energy and effort to do so.
any advice about it. I get lonely I dont think people understand that.

I know I haven't been a member of a church for ten years my whole adult life. I do know how it feels when you say it takes a great deal of energy and effort to go. I feel the same way

 

[RedPonyDriver]

I stopped going to church when my husband died. I just couldn't do it. As a widow, I don't fit with the married OR single groups or the women's groups as most of them are married or divorced. So, to avoid feeling uncomfortable or making others uncomfortable, I stay home.

 

[KaiProper]

It's so difficult to go to church.
churches are uncomfortable places anyway as they are set up for married people and families. it is getting more and more difficult to go by myself to try churches.

Have you ever considered one-on-one Christian counseling—either with a faith-based counselor or with a pastor? Would that be something that interests you? That could keep you going until you find a church-based option that suits you. And it would allow you to more easily find (and switch between) pastors until you find one you feel comfortable with.

 

[GregSG]

You say baptism is important, it is not what determines a Christian, is a church that doesn't baptise 'apostate'.

I would say it's treading on thin ice. Christ commanded us to be baptized as a step of symbolism and OBEDIANCE. A church that doesn't believe the ordinance of physical baptism by immersion of BELIEVERS is necessary is a deal-killer.

 

[GregSG]

It's so difficult to go to church.
I've changed churches many times over the years.
although I have stayed for a decent amount of time in the last couple.
there was a disagreement with a bullying elder

DEAL KILLER! Run, and don't look back! They actually did you a favor in making it clear you were not wanted and in the wrong church. I base this on experience with a church I was attending when I was in HS. Bullying elders AND pastor! You did right, just leave, but be sure to pray for them.

and an unhealthy friendship in the one before that which caused me to leave that one. I was there for over 10 years and only one lady and one couple contacted me after I'd left. so I felt like that was a waste of 10 years but i think the unhealthy friendship had a lot to do with that.

Just call what the "unhealthy friendship" was - sin. The fact that a couple and one lady called you is a lot better than I've experienced.

I am an older single and not looking for a partner. churches are uncomfortable places anyway as they are set up for married people and families. it is getting more and more difficult to go by myself to try churches.
I wish I had somebody to go to church with. so I dont go, or when I do it takes a great deal of energy and effort to do so.
any advice about it. I get lonely I dont think people understand that.

Yes, it's tough finding a mate or platonic friendship when you lack the avenues that most people find a mate - college and/or a robust circle of friends and family. I had none of those. I met my wife through eHarmony and highly recommend it. It's far better than other match-making sites, and I've tried a few of them.

I left the last one due to not being calvinist and I didn't realize it was calvinist til been there for a while. I was sad to leave that one.

If everything else was good, I would go back. I have trouble with Calvinism also, but I wouldn't hesitate to go to John MacArthur's church if I lived in that area.

As for church fellowship, I learned to enjoy my own company a long time ago, or more recently, the company of my wife. (Just to make it clear, we are a MAN and WOMAN couple.)

I attend a large (but not a mega-church), because it's easier if I'm only going out of obedience (Hebrews 10:25) , and I prefer to do my own Bible study at home, there's plenty of help online. We don't attend church together, so since I don't have a wife with me when I go to church, I'm pretty much ignored and frankly, it doesn't bother me anymore.

 

[Tolworth John]

I would say it's treading on thin ice. Christ commanded us to be baptized as a step of symbolism and OBEDIANCE. A church that doesn't believe the ordinance of physical baptism by immersion of BELIEVERS is necessary is a deal-killer.

Yes as you say baptism is a symbol and as an act of obedience.
It is not the substance of believe, it does not save.

Some people are baptised soon after conversion others take many years to reach that stage, are they any less a Christian?
Then there are those 'christened' as a baby, confirmed as a teenager and now a Christian see no reason to be baptised again. Our church is happy for them to attend, to take part in every aspect of church life.
Baptism is a personal desission, a person's own step in faith and in obedience.