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giving tithes to a church where you feel marginalised

Jun 23, 2011
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hi

ive been struggling with continuing to give tithes to my church now im feeling marginalised
and having no reason to go. im feeling like a anti-testimony, anti-success narrative person who doesnt really have close friends and any support.

aside from some purely theological discussions on tithing which i dont want to go into, how do i continue giving? i want to acknowledge God, but find it hard given the beautiful words spoken in sermons, and the reality of being treated as social leper.

anyone else struggling with this?
 

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You could always ask if you can help the church in some other way, i.e. volunteering. Don't feel bad because you can't give to the church, and definitely don't let others make you feel bad (some may try). If it was bad enough I would find another church that isn't so judgmental.
edit: I'd like to mention that I've never felt this way in church and have not given anything plenty of times during tithe. I pray that this gets better for you
 
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teresa

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hi

ive been struggling with continuing to give tithes to my church now im feeling marginalised
and having no reason to go. im feeling like a anti-testimony, anti-success narrative person who doesnt really have close friends and any support.

aside from some purely theological discussions on tithing which i dont want to go into, how do i continue giving? i want to acknowledge God, but find it hard given the beautiful words spoken in sermons, and the reality of being treated as social leper.

anyone else struggling with this?


I hear you and understand. My heart goes out to you for feeling marginalized at church

(((HUGS)))
 
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Jun 23, 2011
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You could always ask if you can help the church in some other way, i.e. volunteering. Don't feel bad because you can't give to the church, and definitely don't let others make you feel bad (some may try). If it was bad enough I would find another church that isn't so judgmental.
edit: I'd like to mention that I've never felt this way in church and have not given anything plenty of times during tithe. I pray that this gets better for you

i already volunteer, it helps but also makes you feel wanted for what you do rather than who you are.
 
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Soyeong

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both, and both are important

I agree that both are important, but I asked which one was the reason why you were there.

"You have to understand why you are on the planet or life will define you slowly and subtly and you will be pottered by circumstances instead true. And all of the sudden you are a person in need instead of a person filled with the Spirit, all of the sudden this thing is about you and God taking care of you instead of God transforming you and ma king your like him in the heat of the fire. To where when you're facing injustice all you know mercy, truth, forgiveness, and loving-kindness. When you are faced with unfairness, you don't have a bunch of rights, you have Jesus and you have the Holy Ghost in you that over takes people and situations and covers things with grace.

"Let's understand why He lives in us, let's understand why His Son died on the cross. I'm concerned that some of us think that it is all about us being blessed. It's all about us being transformed because if it is all about being blessed, then your life doesn't seem blessed, you're discourage, and you have a ton of questions. And then all of your faith is being used to get that breakthrough and to get that blessing that you think it's all about. No, it's all about you have peace with God and you shining like light and you walking in love and showing mercy and making peace in the face of trials and troubles and fires.

"Because that's the reason that he is in us - to love the world around us. Were not here to be loved by others, we have been loved by God, we're here to become love to others. Because if God made man in His image and God is love, then God made man to love, not need love. The only reason you grew up needing love is because man got caught off from it when he ate the tree. So we grew up in need of love, in need of esteem, in need of reputation, in need of appreciation, trying to find our value through one another. That's why were hurt so bad, offended, rejected. You're not rejected any more! You've been accepted into the beloved, you've been grafted back in, you're in the vine, you're a fruitful branch, come on. You're not in need, you've become. I don't need you to love me, if you do that's awesome, I am so fulfilled in love it is ridiculous, I don't need you to acknowledge me, honor me, show me attention. I'm fulfilled in Christ, to know the love of Christ is to be filled with all of the fulness of God. I want you to like me, I want us to get along, I want to be family in the body of Christ, but I will not put a weight on your shoulders so that if you don't fulfill that I'm affected and diminished. That would disappoint me and cause you to fail. I'm called to love you, not expect of you because if I put that on your shoulders and I need him to be something to be ok, then he is lord.

Don't you say "Well I would be more if it wasn't for so and so, I just didn't feel loved in that church." Well, you didn't go there to be loved, you went there to love, if you understand why you are saved. "Well, yeah, but people do me wrong all the time and just hurt me wrong and I don't know why..." and all of the sudden you let them be the reason for who you are and you are no stronger than the weakness around you, and you've been identified by life instead of the Christ that's in you."
 
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Tolworth John

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ive been struggling with continuing to give tithes to my church now im feeling marginalised
and having no reason to go. im feeling like a anti-testimony, anti-success narrative person who doesnt really have close friends and any support.
How real is this anti-testimony ( what ever that is? ), anti-success narrative?
If your church is teaching that you should be wealthy and healthy, leave.
Find a church where they recognise that the early church had more losers in it than winners.

Friends take time to make and effort to keep. You have to be involved in order to make them.
Support, talk to the church leaders about the support you need. In an ideal world people would see that some people need more help than others and give it.
 
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I'm not clear from your post. Is the church doing/saying things to marginalize you, or are you feeling marginalized because you can't pay a tithe?

i can pay, and have paid tithes for many years. it feels difficult for me to give a church where i feel marginalised. its hard, because i want to.
 
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I agree that both are important, but I asked which one was the reason why you were there.

"You have to understand why you are on the planet or life will define you slowly and subtly and you will be pottered by circumstances instead true. And all of the sudden you are a person in need instead of a person filled with the Spirit, all of the sudden this thing is about you and God taking care of you instead of God transforming you and ma king your like him in the heat of the fire. To where when you're facing injustice all you know mercy, truth, forgiveness, and loving-kindness. When you are faced with unfairness, you don't have a bunch of rights, you have Jesus and you have the Holy Ghost in you that over takes people and situations and covers things with grace.

"Let's understand why He lives in us, let's understand why His Son died on the cross. I'm concerned that some of us think that it is all about us being blessed. It's all about us being transformed because if it is all about being blessed, then your life doesn't seem blessed, you're discourage, and you have a ton of questions. And then all of your faith is being used to get that breakthrough and to get that blessing that you think it's all about. No, it's all about you have peace with God and you shining like light and you walking in love and showing mercy and making peace in the face of trials and troubles and fires.

"Because that's the reason that he is in us - to love the world around us. Were not here to be loved by others, we have been loved by God, we're here to become love to others. Because if God made man in His image and God is love, then God made man to love, not need love. The only reason you grew up needing love is because man got caught off from it when he ate the tree. So we grew up in need of love, in need of esteem, in need of reputation, in need of appreciation, trying to find our value through one another. That's why were hurt so bad, offended, rejected. You're not rejected any more! You've been accepted into the beloved, you've been grafted back in, you're in the vine, you're a fruitful branch, come on. You're not in need, you've become. I don't need you to love me, if you do that's awesome, I am so fulfilled in love it is ridiculous, I don't need you to acknowledge me, honor me, show me attention. I'm fulfilled in Christ, to know the love of Christ is to be filled with all of the fulness of God. I want you to like me, I want us to get along, I want to be family in the body of Christ, but I will not put a weight on your shoulders so that if you don't fulfill that I'm affected and diminished. That would disappoint me and cause you to fail. I'm called to love you, not expect of you because if I put that on your shoulders and I need him to be something to be ok, then he is lord.

Don't you say "Well I would be more if it wasn't for so and so, I just didn't feel loved in that church." Well, you didn't go there to be loved, you went there to love, if you understand why you are saved. "Well, yeah, but people do me wrong all the time and just hurt me wrong and I don't know why..." and all of the sudden you let them be the reason for who you are and you are no stronger than the weakness around you, and you've been identified by life instead of the Christ that's in you."

i appreciate what you are saying, but im not even close to being there. it sounds like human perfection to love independently of how people treat you, so how does a damaged person thrown into a place where the stage rhetoric doesnt match up to church life manage?
 
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Soyeong

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i appreciate what you are saying, but im not even close to being there. it sounds like human perfection to love independently of how people treat you, so how does a damaged person thrown into a place where the stage rhetoric doesnt match up to church manage?

I don't know if you've watched the video, and I don't blame you if you have not because it is an hour, but there is a lot truth packed into it. I'll be upfront that I am not there yet either, yet the truth of what he is saying resonates with me about what we are made for and who we are called to be in Christ, and I am starting to become aware of more areas where I can improve.

As Christians we acknowledge that the standard that Jesus called us live by is love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us, yet we have trouble loving our brothers and sisters in Christ, and if we can't learn to love and pray for them, then how are we ever going to learn to love and pray for our enemies? So think of this trial as God giving you the opportunity to practice in order to teach you how to love. If someone in the church is hurt by someone else, then we should sympathize with them, but we should not give them permission to be broken because we know who they are in Christ, but rather it is the person who caused the harm who is in trouble who is in need of our love and prayer. Jesus didn't get offended or victimized while he was on the cross, but rather he prayed for the Father to forgive them for they know not what they are doing. That is ultimately why we can forgive people who hurt us because they don't know who they are or what they are doing. It doesn't make sense to want something that we are not willing to become, where we want God to forgive us for everything that we've done while not being willing to extend that same forgiveness towards others. The issue is really a matter of perspective and recognizing that everyone has the value of the blood of Christ. We must take the plank out of our own eye before we are in a place where we can judge that others are not living up to the standard that they've been called, and if we are in such a place, then we should only judge others because we love them and want them to recognize their value and to have a clear picture of who they are in Christ.
 
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christianforumsuser

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Do you know what the wages of sin are? Do you know what the Bible says about wage earners and about tithes? Do you know what the Bible says about love and do you believe? Have you subtracted or added to Scripture?
This is relevant. Are you aware Moses had a brother?
 
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Do you know what the wages of sin are? Do you know what the Bible says about wage earners and about tithes? Do you know what the Bible says about love and do you believe? Have you subtracted or added to Scripture?
This is relevant. Are you aware Moses had a brother?

are you in a cult?
 
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hi

ive been struggling with continuing to give tithes to my church now im feeling marginalised
and having no reason to go. im feeling like a anti-testimony, anti-success narrative person who doesnt really have close friends and any support.

aside from some purely theological discussions on tithing which i dont want to go into, how do i continue giving? i want to acknowledge God, but find it hard given the beautiful words spoken in sermons, and the reality of being treated as social leper.

anyone else struggling with this?

The Original tithe was anything you deemed of worth (cattle, seeds, gold etc).
Remember the seed is the Word (Mark 4:14).
The Father sowed his Seed(JESUS who is known as the Word) and reaped a harvest which is His Body the church. ( 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 )

Some people try to make it all about money but it's NOT.
Still tithing/offering is a gift to do because it gives the church finances to spread the Word(MOST IMPORTANT). ( Malachi 3:10 )
Still you have to let GOD tell you if the church your attending should be receiving your funds because all churches aren't good.
Because some churches just steal and don't feed your spirit or help the community.
 
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do you think if i sow my seed (tithes) God will give me a wife?
and if not, why not?

Sowing seeds is meant to be essentially about Christ being preached to different hearts, and here and there is about giving to help serve the poor, the Saints, missionaries, and follow Christians in need.

If you feel like something's kind of spiritually off at your church, or that there's an over-emphasis on financial giving minus any genuine warmth or fellowship, that might be a red flag. God will not give us things based on how much we give in the offering plate. He gives us things according to His mercy, timing, Divine Will, and provision; not because we "planted a faith seed of five thousand dollars last week, hallelujah!"

That's messed up. So if that is the kind of thing you're hearing at your church, get out. Your loneliness and angst could also be the Holy Sprit's way of hinting that you're in the wrong church. Just saying.
 
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