Give "Bad" Advice (3)

[Chesterton]

No, no, you don't want to be calm. Normal people going through "security" are always nervous, anxious and even angry. Appearing calm only singles you out for suspicion.*

* True fact.

How can I get the flight attendant to give me extra peanuts?

 

[LaSorcia]

Most people are firmly convinced to accede to requests made at gunpoint.

What should I do if the airline loses my luggage?

 

[lucypevensie]

Next time you go, insist on riding IN your luggage. That way you'll never become separated from it.

Could someone tell me which rule I broke, then give me loving advice on how to live a more godly life?

 

[MrNoodle]

They always say do what Jesus does, I met this South American guy named Jesus and he drank and smoked A LOT.

Should I change jobs after being lied to, and cheated out of PTO?

 

[LaSorcia]

Nah, blackmail's more deeply satisfying.

What's the fastest way to memorized copious amounts of new material?

 

[lucypevensie]

You could get it all on a tattoo. No difficult memorizing needed.

What's a good college course someone my age could take?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Anything in IT should do. Or maybe one of them there Gender studies.

I need to get out of presenting a boring presentation.

 

[mama2one]

"accidently" put some photos of your cute child at beginning of presentation and that might lead to photo sharing thus cutting time left for your boring presentation so no need to skip




how to get to sleep when am wound up/can't relax?

 

[LaSorcia]

You can sleep when you're dead.

How to stay highly motivated all the time?

 

[MrNoodle]

Hot glue personal messages on your chest as a reminder

How do I stay in a pleasant mood?

 

[LaSorcia]

How often should one watch Veggie Tales?

 

[MrNoodle]

How can I give bad advise when you don't post correctly Mrs Moderator?

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

How can I give bad advise when you don't post correctly Mrs Moderator?

Give bad advice and see if you get banned or not..............

..................................................

 

[MrNoodle]

How can I get the moderator to post correctly? (hint ~ see above, its @LaSorcia !)

 

[LaSorcia]

Offer free Slurm to all CF rec roomers.

I can't decide whether to take the job I was offered in investment banking or Walmart cashier.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

There is no room for advancement as an investment banker. On the other hand, all those great millionaires always started out bagging groceries, or working in the mailroom, in all those documentaries and talkshows.

How can I skip the long queues to get to the attraction fast?

 

[LaSorcia]

Take paparazzi with you wherever you go.

I actually want the paparazzi to leave me alone. How to achieve that?

 

[Spiritlight]

Wear clothes in public.


How do I spend less time on the computer?

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

take a hammer to it's monitor and throw the remaining smashed pieces out the nearest window.

how do i fill the world with God's glory?

 

[MrNoodle]

Simply cover the world in caffeinated beverage. Poof! Done!

How does a pilgrim pass through while drinking a Squishy?