Give "Bad" Advice (3)

[DavidFirth]

She should wear black now like Two on Dark Matter does. No need to worry about clothes after death.

How to get klutedavid a date?

 

[mama2one]

I'm Going without water for days

you mean he's still around? ^^


who will plan David's funeral?

 

[mama2one]

oooops
just got word we can save him; everyone meet at David's house and bring water!

also bring your list of available Christian women
how shall we pick his girlfriend?

 

[DavidFirth]

Very, very carefully.

While we're at it we need to find his sister, klutelladavid, a boyfriend.

 

[gennypearl]

to tell you the truth, it's quite hard to find her a boyfriend because her name sounds like a combination of a cocoa spread and a boy's name. not very marketable.

what should we name her instead?

 

[DavidFirth]

Klutelladaniella?

Who do you suggest we hook klutedavid up with?

 

[LaSorcia]

You?

How can I keep up with the latest dating gossip here when I'm too busy?

 

[DavidFirth]

Me? You must be stoned.

You'll just have to moderate us more often.

How to make good matches?

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Me? You must be stoned.

You'll just have to moderate us more often.

How to make good matches?

Only match camels. Camels are such reliable creatures.

How to cure a friend from his obsession with humped beasts?

 

[jameseb]

Suggest that your friend should gamble. If they are going to obsess, might as well make money doing it.

I'm sleepy. Should I stick a paper clip in an electric socket to give me a wake up jolt?

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Suggest that your friend should gamble. If they are going to obsess, might as well make money doing it.

I'm sleepy. Should I stick a paper clip in an electric socket to give me a wake up jolt?

A rusty nail might be more effective, as if it pierces your skin, you may also gain the added benefit of a tetanus jab.

How to pick a winner at the camel races? I'm considering a two-humped beauty named Mad Bess, but the extra hump does mean that much more weight to move around the track...

 

[klutedavid]

What odds are they offering on Mad Bess, her form looks promising?

I'm thinking of starting up an internet gambling company, what should I call it?

 

[*LILAC]

You should call it stopgamblingforlife.com

I need a faster technique for picking up sticks from the winter storm's droppings. Gimme a bad idea.

 

[klutedavid]

You should call it stopgamblingforlife.com

I need a faster technique for picking up sticks from the winter storm's droppings. Gimme a bad idea.

Your a genius Lilac, reverse psychology, i.e., 'stop gambling', so they actually gamble more and make me immensely wealthy.

I can't give you bad advice but if you want to pick up lot's of sticks. Then may I suggest getting yourself some slaves to pick up the sticks. Empires are built on slave work forces.

 

[*LILAC]

Awesome. Recruiting slaves starting now!

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Awesome. Recruiting slaves starting now!

Advertise for employees, but remember not to pay up when payday comes around. Its as good as having slaves, but without the grumpiness (except on payday, obviously). On payday, just blame it on Trump's taxing the poor, or Russian hackers or such. The slaves will lap it all up.

How to stop debaters getting emotional when they start losing?

 

[klutedavid]

How can you prevent opponents in debates from throwing an emotional tantrum? You can't, especially when you demolish their arguments with such ease. That is one of the drawbacks of possessing absolute knowledge.

Why is life overflowing with so many losers?

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

How can you prevent opponents in debates from throwing an emotional tantrum? You can't, especially when you demolish their arguments with such ease. That is one of the drawbacks of possessing absolute knowledge.

Why is life overflowing with so many losers?

Because when the river runs dry, you will return to the scene of the crime. There's even a song about it.

Its the third payday, and the empire-building, stick-picking slaves are getting tired of hearing about Trump's taxes and Russian hackers stealing all their money. I know Rome wasn't built in a day, but any advice before I must pay the piper?

 

[klutedavid]

The piper lured the rats away from the town, do you have a problem with rats? Why else would you pay the Pied piper?

Why don't people just use rat traps?

 

[LaSorcia]

Try them out for yourself. Let them snap on your fingers or toes a few times and maybe you can tell me.

I think I'll get the job I want except one other person is tough competition. Should they 'have an accident'?